Monica’s eyebrows rose at the abrupt change of subject. “Yeah, sure. Is that relevant? And you still didn’t answer my question.”
Erin grinned without replying, and Monica shook her head. “This better be one honey of a demonstration. But for the record, I’m hooked. Where and when?”
“Tomorrow around six. I’ll pick you up.” Erin waved the menu. “But for now, lunch.”
“I have weird friends.”
“Me too.”
17. Enter Monica
June 26
Bill looked up as Erin entered the warehouse, followed by another woman, presumably Monica. He struggled not to ogle. Erin had said that Monica was hot, but the reality was … Okay, Bill, you’re not a teenager anymore. Get it together, and try not to be an ass.
As the women walked up to the table, Monica altered direction slightly and made for the open boxes of pizza. She quickly scooped up a piece without waiting for an invitation. Bill felt his opinion of her rising even more. Anyone who liked pizza probably had many other fine qualities.
Monica took a bite, then turned her attention to the group. “So, do you have a theme park you need a zoologist to sign off on?”
The men turned to look at Erin, who held up her hands and exclaimed, “I didn’t say anything! And it wasn’t easy, either. She’s pushy!”
Richard stepped forward with a tablet in his hand. “Let’s start with introductions, then I’ll play you some vids and we’ll explain the situation. Then we’ll try to convince you we’re not crazy.”
The videos had been shown, and the explanations had been presented. Even Kevin had finally run down. Everyone stared apprehensively at Monica, unsure what to expect.
Her mouth moved a few times, then she managed to force out two words. “Another dimension?”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Kevin replied, “unless you mean another time dimension, in which case yes. It’s another world-line. A parallel universe. An alternate Earth. Whatever science fiction term you want to use.”
“And it’s filled with animals but as far as we can tell, no humans,” Bill added. “We’d like you to look at the animals and see if you can identify them and come to any conclusions. We’re especially interested in which ones will try to eat us.”
Monica glanced around, a slight frown on her face. “All right. I’m still treating this as an elaborate practical joke, but if you do manage to open a gateway to another world, I’ll reconsider. Shall we start?”
Bill grinned. Richard turned on his tablet and began working the U.I.
The three-foot gate blurred, then settled into a scene showing distant trees and animals. Monica stared at it, her jaw dropping. “Okay. Maybe not crazy.”
Bill handed Monica a set of binoculars and motioned toward the gate. Monica sidled up to it like a cat investigating something unknown. After a few seconds, she put the binoculars to her eyes and began scanning the scene, muttering just loud enough to be heard. “Tapirus californicus. Cervalces scotti. Holy shit. Those are extinct!”
As she walked sideways, trying to scan the landscape, she ended up peering through the gate at a steep angle. She lowered the binoculars and frowned.
Richard came over. “Here, you can rotate it. Let me.”
He took hold of the gate assembly from behind and turned it on the table. As he rotated it, Monica walked around to keep the best angle of view. Abruptly she screamed and jumped back as a large, sandy-colored paw with impressive claws poked through the gate. The paw withdrew and was replaced by a ferocious feline face with huge teeth. The animal growled and started to push farther through.
Richard yelled “The fuck!” as he caught sight of it, and pulled out one of the cables. The gate shut down, and the feline head shimmered then disappeared.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh fuck!” Monica backed away from the gate. “That was a Smilodon!” She started hopping from foot to foot, with her fists balled, the binoculars forgotten around her neck, yelling, “Oh, Jesus! What am I, wearing a red fucking shirt? Shit!”
Bill watched this performance in awe. “I think I may have found my soul mate.”
Monica stopped hopping around, and said, “Rule number one, we don’t open the goddamn gate while we’ve got pizza in the room! Especially a Meat-Lovers! By the way, Bill, you were asking about animals that would eat us? That’s one.”
Richard wordlessly offered Monica a beer. She took it without hesitation, opened it against the table edge without missing a beat, and downed about half the bottle before continuing.
“Okay, look. You have a bunch of what appear to be Pleistocene animals out there. The plants, as near as I can make out, are consistent with that. The climate appears to be cooler than ours. Kevin, given what you said before—that it’s the same date on that side—I’d say either the climate over there has been more stable, or humans never migrated to North America, or some combination of that. Fuck!” She downed the rest of the beer.
“So, is it safe to go through?” Matt asked.
“Safe? Safe? Something just tried to eat me. No!”
She stopped, took a couple of deep breaths—Bill felt his eyes bugging out despite his best effort—then continued.
“The prevailing theory is that humans wiped out all the megafauna when they migrated to North America, either through direct hunting, competition for resources, or destruction of habitat. So those nasties aren’t invulnerable. You’re bringing guns, right? Big guns?”
“We haven’t provisioned ourselves yet,” Richard replied. “How about you give us an idea what we’ll need.”
“Hmm, let’s see … We’ve got Smilodons, that’s saber-toothed cats to you; dire wolves, think wolves but bigger and meaner; American lions, which are exactly what they sound like; Homotheria, scimitar-toothed cats; short-faced bears; mastodons and mammoths, stag moose, giant sloths, and giant beavers.”
“Giant … beav—beavers?” Bill said. “Giant beavers? Six feet tall, and hungry for human furniture!”
Monica glared at him. “Listen, Chuckie, just because something isn’t carnivorous doesn’t mean it isn’t dangerous. People have been injured by whitetail deer. Now try meeting a moose or a bison. Or imagine something even bigger that hasn’t learned to be afraid of you.” She waved the empty beer bottle at the gate. “The giant sloth in particular wasn’t slow and sedentary like its modern South American cousins. It was mobile, territorial, and judging from the state of some skeletons, a bit of a scrapper. So have some respect.”
Matt got a puzzled look. “Hey, Richard or Kevin, how come we don’t have a decapitated Smilodon head sitting in the middle of our floor? It was definitely on this side when you cut the power.”
“Look, this isn’t a door in the traditional sense,” Kevin replied. “It’s a quantum superposition. The probability spaces of the two timelines have been forced to overlap in the area within the gate. When you move through it, you go from being probably on Earth to being probably over there. The cat was still probably there, and when the power was cut off, that’s where it stayed.”
“You’re pretty sure of yourself,” Monica replied.
“The alternative is that we built a working gate based on my math despite my math being completely wrong. Just by fluke. Does that sound likely?”
“Well, that’s a relief, anyway,” Bill said. “One less thing to worry about.”
“Maybe more than you expect,” Matt added. “I’ve been a little embarrassed to bring this up, but do we even know if it’s possible to walk through one of these gates and not turn into pudding or something? I mean, we’re making a lot of assumptions.”
“There’s no reason to believe something like that would happen,” Kevin said. “It’s the same set of physical laws on the other side.”
“Plus,” Monica pointed out drily, “a Smilodon just tried to eat me. And it didn’t turn to pudding.”
Bill grinned at her. “Still, let’s run an experiment or two before we commit to a full expedition, okay? Maybe toss a lab r
at through?”
“Good idea,” she replied. “I’ll work something out.”
“Okay, people,” Richard said. “Time to get organized. Monica, are you in?”
“Oh, depend on it! I’ve only ever seen skeletons of those animals up until now. What kind of zoologist would I be if I walked away?”
Richard smiled. “Excellent. So, we have to start getting supplies, including weapons. Big weapons. Also tents, sleeping bags, cookstoves, water purification, food, axes, knives, yadda yadda. Oh, and gold-panning equipment. We’ll all have to kick in for this. Everyone keep track of what you spend, and we’ll settle accounts as soon as we are able.”
“And by we, you mostly mean me,” Matt muttered.
“You and that trust fund, yep,” Bill replied with a grin.
“You’ll be paid back before anything else, Matt,” Richard added. “Erin, we also need a map and detailed information about the Deadwood strike, and you all have to make sure you’re free for enough days to get this done.”
“And why, pray tell, do we need tents and sleeping bags?” Monica asked.
“You’d prefer to sleep under the stars?”
“No, I’d prefer to sleep in a hotel. Preferably five-star. I’ll camp when you can plug a hair dryer into a tree. Is there any reason we can’t just do day trips to the panning site?”
“You know, I’m not sure,” Richard replied. “I just assumed it would be a long way to the site from the nearest outpost of civilization on this side. Obviously we’ll have to get out and walk once we run out of road.”
“Here’s two words for you. Google Earth. How about we find out?”
Richard looked a little crestfallen, and Bill took a moment to enjoy the spectacle, petty or not. Richard was probably just realizing that he hadn’t thought things through as well as he’d believed.
“Okay, Monica,” Richard said. “You’ve got my attention. I guess we’re going to have to go through everything and do a rethink.”
18. Testing the Waters
June 28
Erin looked around as she and Matt entered the warehouse. Bill and Monica were in one corner working on something. Monica gazed at a tablet while Bill was waving what looked like a branch pruner in the air.
“What’s that thing?” Matt said.
“I took one of those extendable tree-branch trimmers from Home Depot and stuck the smallest gate at the end of it, with the Faraday cage removed. I’ve mounted a small camera in front of the gate. It’s like a periscope into the other Earth.” Bill gestured to the cables that led down from the top of the pole, to the portal generator box and a video monitor. The monitor showed a somewhat shaky scene of Wild Kingdom Earth.
“Cute,” Matt said as he examined the contraption. “And Smilodon-proof. Monica, at least, will appreciate that.”
“I highly approve,” Monica said, looking up and grinning.
Bill smiled and blushed slightly, and Erin felt one of her eyebrows go up. Uh oh. Looks like Monica’s up to her usual. I might need to ask Matt to have a talk with Bill.
Bill interrupted her internal monologue. “Listen, Richard and I were discussing things last night, and we’ve come up with a better name for Wild Kingdom Earth. Or a shorter one, anyway. Richard shot down pretty much everything I came up with—”
“I can imagine,” Matt said.
“—so we ended up with Outland.”
“Works for me,” Erin said.
“So, on to business.” Bill leaned the pole carefully against a shelving unit and turned off the portal generator box. “We’ve got this pole-cam for scoping out the situation on the other side. We’ve got a couple of six-foot gates now, but in a pinch we could squeeze through the three-foot gate. We’ve got a second portal generator and spare parts—you’re welcome—and an electrical generator. If necessary, the equipment can run off the van through an inverter, which we also have.” Bill grinned at his friends. “The question is not Am I paranoid? but Am I paranoid enough?”
“And we’ve got the destination information,” Erin added. “As soon as Richard and Kevin get here, I’ll go over it. We’ve got all the supplies.” She pointed to a pile of items in the corner. “And we’ll rent a van to carry the portal equipment.”
“Assuming this test outing goes well, of course,” Erin said.
“The rat survived,” Monica replied. “And it didn’t show any sign of diseases or killer fungus. There’s no reason to think we won’t be okay.”
“Yeah, sure, the rat didn’t turn to pudding. But things can still happen. I’ll feel better once we’ve actually proven the concept, you know?”
Monica grinned. “Fair enough. So let’s get rolling, shall we?”
Erin turned to Matt. “My camera is still in your truck.”
“And I have some ordnance in the trunk of my car,” Monica added. “Lots of it.”
Richard and Kevin had finally shown up, and everything was ready for the test. Bill and Monica were surveying the immediate area on Outland with the pole-cam to make sure it was safe to open the big gate. Monica held the tablet and watched the video, while Bill waved the pole-cam in the air. So far, she hadn’t commented on anything dangerous in the area. But the memory of the Smilodon was still fresh.
Bill kept trying to maneuver around to see the tablet, and Monica looked like she was having fun frustrating his attempts. Bill seemed to be enjoying the game, but Erin could see Richard glaring at the two of them out of the corner of her eye. Oh, wow. This is just getting more complicated.
“Looks clear,” Monica said, looking up from the tablet.
Bill gave the group a double thumbs-up. “Okay then, we are ready for prime time. Pleistocene Excursion, Take One.”
“Let’s do this,” Richard said. He picked up a shotgun from the arsenal that had been laid out and prepped by Matt and Monica. He stared at the weapon for several seconds, then turned to his friends. “I, uh, don’t actually know how to use one of these.”
“Point. Shoot,” said Bill.
Monica glared at him. “Let’s not act casual with weapons, okay? Who else could use a quickie course?” Four hands went up. “Everyone but Matt. Outstanding. Okay, gather round for Shotguns 101.”
Monica spent a few minutes going over the mechanics, safety procedures, and proper handling. When she was done, she said to the group, “Just let Matt and me do the shooting, unless things get desperate.”
They walked over to the six-foot gate, which was set up against one wall of the warehouse. Kevin held the tablet that was slaved to the portal generator for that gate. A few pokes with his finger, and the gate opened, showing the meadows and wildlife of Outland. The ground on the other side was even with the warehouse floor—Monica and Bill had spent a few minutes with the pole-cam earlier, picking the right spot.
Matt, Erin, Bill, and Monica picked up shotguns. The four exchanged looks, but no one made a move toward the gate.
“Oh, for God’s sake,” Erin said, exasperated. “Unless Bill wants to make some ‘one small step’ comment, Matt and Monica should go through first and set up.”
Matt smiled at her and stepped up to the gate, where he stopped. He turned to look at Richard. “We know this is going to work, right?”
“Gas came through. A Smilodon almost came through. Light comes through. The rat went through and came back. Sounds are coming through. What more do you want? At some point, we have to commit.”
“Hold on.” Bill grabbed the pole-cam, which had been unplugged from the portal box, and poked the handle end through the gate. He prodded the ground a few times, then pulled it back in. “Seems real.”
Matt shook his head and, looking slightly sheepish, stepped through the gate. He was followed closely by Monica. After a quick scan of the area, Monica made a come gesture with her hand, and Bill and Erin stepped through. They spread out into a circle and looked around.
This was nature as depicted on postcards. The landscape was predominantly meadow, with long grasses waving in the light bre
eze. Mild rolling hills gave just enough variation in elevation to add texture to what might otherwise have been prairie. Stands of trees spread their branches to catch the sun. They saw small herds of deer, the occasional moose, and other less-recognizable species. All of this under a sky of such an intense blue that it seemed like a new color. Patches of fluffy cumulus clouds provided enough break in the sunshine to keep the temperature comfortable. Various kinds of birds looped and dodged through the sky, in flocks large and thick enough to blot out the sun. As the birds passed overhead, they made a sound reminiscent of helicopters.
Monica shouldered her shotgun and pulled up her binoculars.
“Look at that!” Bill exclaimed. “Buffalo!”
“More likely Bison.” Monica scanned slowly in a circle. “Looks clear so far … Holy jumping sonofabitch!”
In the distance, there were five of what could at first be mistaken for elephants. But the enormous curved tusks, the shaggy coats, and the high domed heads marked them, on closer examination, as something very different.
“Mammoths. Honest-to-God mammoths! Columbian, I think.”
Erin took the binoculars from Monica and looked through them. “Holy God!” She passed the binoculars around.
“Now that right there is worth the price of admission.” Bill turned to Monica. “We can go home now.”
“Nice try, buddy! I came here for a hike. Now move your ass!”
Bill laughed, and they started moving in the direction she indicated, straight toward the mammoths. They walked past the gate, waving to Richard and Kevin, who stood on the other side. Erin noted in passing that Kevin still wasn’t holding a weapon, though Richard had his at the ready.
As they were walking down the slight slope, Erin stopped and giggled. The rest of the group turned to her, and she pointed to the other side of the portal. An elliptical segment of the warehouse wall hovered unsupported in mid-air.
“Yeah,” Bill said, “that’s why we pushed the gate up against the wall. It opens from both sides.”
“What?” Erin said.
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