Rules of the Road

by K. Aten

  Jenn stuck her tongue out. “Why are you guys always hating on me? So mean!”

  Kelsey winked at her. “Come to the dark side, Jenn. We have bacon!” The black woman rolled her eyes and the other three started laughing at her so she flipped them off.

  The three other women chorused together. “We love you, Jenn!” Then they all burst out laughing even harder.

  Before long the leftovers of their meal were packaged up and the show started. They had one announcer for the night, Kitty Deville, who was a hilarious drag queen that regularly hosted bingo on Sunday afternoons. Kitty was actually the one who gave Jamie her drag name and always referred to her as “drag family”, a brother. The show alternated drag kings and drag queens as they went, and she announced each performer before they came out. Of course there was plenty of color commentary.

  The four women moved from their table to stand at the end of the dance floor once the show started. Everyone had fistfuls of dollar bills to tip the kings and queens that strutted their stuff to a variety of music. Most of it was faster paced with a lot of dancing, but once in a while someone came out as a classic crooner or ingénue. Kelsey was starting to get impatient, wondering when Jamie was going to go on, when Kitty introduced the next drag king in the lineup. “I’d like you all to give a big gay welcome to our next performer, Devin Deville!” Then she waved vaguely off toward the bar staff. “And you all might want to get a broom out here for cleanup because after this number some panties are gonna hit the floor!”

  All Kelsey could see was a king sporting dark hair who was dressed in some sort of post-apocalyptic punk outfit. She sighed in disappointment. “Holy shit!” Kelsey whipped her head around and looked at Jenn curiously. The black woman’s mouth was open and she pointed at the drag king who was waiting to go on. “Devin Deville is Jamie’s drag name!”

  Kelsey turned to look back at the drag king walking toward the center of the stage area. They had the lights down so it was impossible to make out his features, just the clothes. Her eyes worked from the ground up. Heavy black boots started the look. Black pants with zippers all around the legs had chains crisscrossing slim hips. A sleeveless leather jacket with more zippers was left open to the tight black t-shirt below. The king’s hands were in fists, side by side straight down in front of him and Kelsey was drawn to the leather cuffs on Devin Deville’s wrists. They were the cuffs that Jamie had just purchased on their first official date. Her head jerked up quickly, trying to see the features she had come to know and love, silently begging the lights to come up.

  She didn’t recognize the music when it started but as soon as the lyrics began she gasped. The lights came up and Jamie was in motion as soon as the first words to Adam Lambert’s “If I Had You” came across the sound system. Besides the massively different color change from her normal look, Jamie’s hair was altered slightly from the normal undercut to an undercut fade. The black hair was lifted and styled back to give her face a look that was nothing but fierce angles and shadow in the flashing lights. Kelsey’s response slipped out unwittingly. “Fuck me.” She didn’t think it was loud enough to be heard over the music but Jenn laughed next to her. The smell of sandalwood invaded her senses as Jenn leaned closer to speak into her ear.

  “She’s singing to you. You might want to get some dollars out and step a little closer.” Then the black woman gave Kelsey a little shove to her back. Kelsey was still in shock as she watched Jamie strut around the dance floor that had been roped in and turned into a makeshift stage. James thoroughly worked the crowd while lip-synching to the fast paced romantic ballad of sorts. The drag king Devin Deville was all motion and sex appeal as he made his way around the people lining the stage, graciously accepting dollars and offering hugs and handshakes. Occasionally he would dance back to the center, then continue around the opposite side. Devin Deville was amazing and Kelsey parted her lips with her attraction to the new side of Jamie that she’d never seen.

  Jamie was nothing but nerves leading up to the performance but she felt good in her outfit and she had the words memorized completely. It wasn’t her first time doing drag after all, so she knew all the right moves and how to work the crowd. It was a given that every single person who tipped her got a little personal attention in return. A hug, a kiss on the cheek or a hand shake, most of them had known her for years.

  She smiled inwardly at the thought that most of the people in the crowd assumed she probably dyed her hair just for the show. But only one for certain knew the truth. She hadn’t even told Burke that her natural color was nearly black. She scanned the crowd for Kelsey before her song, but it was too dark to see. And once the spotlight came on she really couldn’t make out anyone until she was right in front of them. That was how she found herself staring into Kelsey’s eyes during the quietest most intimate part of the song. Jamie drank in Kelsey’s expression of love and lust. She reached up to caress a soft cheek as she mouthed the lyrics to her as if they meant everything, and maybe they did. Then she pulled away abruptly as the music picked up again.

  Kelsey rolled her eyes as her girlfriend danced away with the music. Jamie had purposely teased her and would definitely pay later. Oh, how she would pay! When the song was over Jamie exited the same way she came in and a volunteer ran around collecting the money that had been dropped. All of it was going to the same place that night, but at least the drag kings and queens didn’t have to scuttle around picking money off the floor after their number was done. Kelsey stepped back out of the crowd once Jamie disappeared. She was determined to find the sexy, dark-haired king who had stolen her heart. Her friends followed her back, all of them in shock for various reasons at Jamie’s performance. Shell was the first to speak out of the four of them. “Fuck me! That was hot.”

  She was all matter-of-fact about it and Tam turned to protest the declaration. Then she stopped and shrugged her shoulders. “You know, she’s right. I can’t even deny it.” She looked at Kelsey and smiled at her old college roommate. “And I can’t deny that she only had eyes for you as she danced around just now. All those hot young girls and she couldn’t take her eyes off my good friend. You were right about her, Kels.”

  “Of course she was right. Jamie is good people!” Jenn was all smiles with a little astonishment left over. “I still can’t believe she dyed her hair for this one number though. Talk about bold!”

  Kelsey smiled that secret little smile that brought out her dimple in high relief. “She didn’t.” All three women turned to her with incredulous looks as another dance number went on in the background. She laughed at their expressions. “I mean, she did dye it, but I believe only back to her natural color.”

  “What?” Jenn’s voice was a mid-level screech. “How the hell didn’t I know that?”

  Kelsey arched an eyebrow at the only other woman of their immediate group who had also slept with Jamie. “How didn’t you know that? I mean, it’s not like the curtains match the carpet.”

  Jenn panicked, suddenly feeling awkward. “I, uh, I don’t want to talk about that with you! She’s your girlfriend!”

  Kelsey shrugged. “What? Her past is the past. I’m not threatened by it. I know she loves me.”

  After a long sigh Jenn finally caved. “At the time we uh, were messing around, she was usually shaved.”

  “Ooh!” Tam made a face. “I tried that once but I scratched at my crotch for a week, like I had crabs.”

  Shell nodded. “It’s true, she did. It was not a good look for her, either.”

  Tam spun her gaze around to her wife. “What do you mean it wasn’t a good look?”

  Kelsey giggled as Shell shrugged her shoulders at her wife. “You looked like a pug with its tongue hanging out, only all hairless and funny looking. Sideways.”

  Tam’s face turned pink just as Jenn slapped a palm over her own mouth to avoid saying anything. Kelsey just turned away to laugh where her long-time friend couldn’t see. That was when she locked eyes on Jamie who was making her way slowly down the sta
irs. Everything else fell away in that moment as they worked their way toward each other. Jamie’s face alternated between hesitant and predatory. Kelsey had a feeling she knew why. She herself wore jeans that had practically been poured on, showing her ass to perfection. She had tall black boots that came up to her knees. But the most revealing part of the outfit was the leather vest she wore over top of a black lace bra. Most everyone else was still off by the dance floor so they met in the middle of the tables where it was pretty empty. Kelsey spoke first. “Hi.”

  Jamie lowered her eyes shyly, unsure of Kelsey’s reaction to everything. It was a lot to throw at her girlfriend at once. The drag show, the outfit, and the extreme hair change. She was out on a limb, thrown into the past that Jamie had been buried so long ago. “Hi.” She could feel the bass thump of the music through the soles of her boots but it was the gentle pressure on her hand that garnered the most attention. She looked up into a pair of beautiful green eyes done with only a hint of dark makeup.

  “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. You, the performance, those pants.” She trailed off as she glanced down the front of her girlfriend, noting the distinct bulge at the crotch. Kelsey licked her lips and continued. “And your hair, sweet Jesus!”

  “Do you like it?”

  Kelsey brought both hands up to pet the sides of Jamie’s hair where it was buzzed short. “Do I like it? No, I love it like my cats love tuna! Like Burke loves the gym!” Both women snorted at that and Kelsey continued. “I like it.” She stepped a half step closer so they were about six inches apart. “I love it.” She stepped closer yet and molded their bodies together from knees to breasts, bound though Jamie’s were. She brought her lips near Jamie’s as her hands snaked behind the newly darkened hair. Her breath was a caress and Jamie shuddered. “I need it.”

  Jamie closed that last little distance between them and moaned as their tongues met in the middle of the slow and sensuous kiss. When they were finally able to pull away Kelsey left her arms draped around Jamie’s neck and Jamie couldn’t resist leaning down for one last kiss to Kelsey’s single dimple. She pulled back again and smiled. “I love that dimple.”

  Kelsey pouted. “Just that dimple?”

  “Nope. I love the other two as well, the ones you have on each ass ch—” She didn’t finish her sentence because the other woman quickly covered her mouth.

  “So what made you change the hair? You didn’t do it just because of what I said, did you?” Kelsey looked at her in concern. “I don’t ever want you to think you need to change yourself to please me, James.”

  Jamie shook her head and smiled with all the honesty she had inside. “On the contrary, I decided to stop pleasing everyone but myself. This is the real Jamie.” Then with a moment’s hesitation she asked the question she absolutely needed an answer to. “Is this the Jamie you want? Is she good enough for you?”

  “No.” Jamie’s face fell and she started to step back but Kelsey wouldn’t let her. “No, this Jamie is good enough for anyone! I’m just lucky enough she chose me.” Jamie looked close to tears and Kelsey knew how much her girlfriend didn’t like to be emotional in front of people so she quickly changed the subject. “So are you going to tell me what the bulge is?”

  Jamie leered at her. “I don’t know. Have you been good tonight?”

  “If by good you mean, have I been mentally peeling off your outfit with my teeth? Yeah, sure, I’ve been good. Excellent even!”

  Laughter bubbled forth through Jamie’s lips and she was reminded again of how much she absolutely loved how fun and playful her girlfriend was. She also loved how insightful the Irish-Latina could be. “Those naughty thoughts are going to have to wait because I’m stuck here until the end of the show. But you are more than welcome to sit on my lap if you like.”

  Kelsey groaned and hung her head then grabbed Jamie’s hand and started pulling her toward their table. “Fine, deal! You’re going to kill me but at least I’ll die happy.”

  The show didn’t go on much longer since Jamie was one of the last performers. When the evening was over, only four of them wanted to go to breakfast. Normally Jamie would have agreed to the idea but she only had one thought running through her mind. Well, two, but she wasn’t sure how well one of them would be received. Kelsey also didn’t want to go to breakfast so it was decided that Burke would just ride with Tam, Shell, and Jenn to a late night diner near Jenn’s house. Hugs and smiles were exchanged and then both cars were on their way. As Jamie drove the six blocks to her condo Kelsey turned slightly in her seat to take in the dark hair and gorgeous jawline of the driver. “So are you going to tell me what the bulge is now? Because sitting in your lap was the most painful turn on I have ever experienced in a crowded place!”

  Jamie smirked as she glanced at her girlfriend and signaled to turn into her condo’s parking garage. “I have something to ask you first.” She parked and shut the car down but didn’t speak for a minute. She merely looked around Olivia’s black leather interior then let her eyes rest on the custom shifter.

  “James.” The engineer’s eyes startled upwards to meet Kelsey’s. “What’s the matter?”

  “Nothing, nothing at all is wrong. That’s what is so strange, Kels. Everything finally feels right!”

  Kelsey looked at her as if she’d gone nuts. “You’re very confusing.”

  Jamie shook her head and tried again. “You know we’ve only been dating officially for, like, a month. But it feels like a lot longer to me.”

  “I have a confession.” Jamie looked up at her in surprise. “I kind of think of us as dating since spring. I know it’s not correct, but that’s just the way I feel. I think it’s because we’ve spent so much time together, getting to know each other.” She snorted. “If that were true though it would be some kind of record for how long two lesbians can date before they have sex for the first time.”

  Jamie laughed too and reached down to grab her spare set of keys from the cup holder. She had set them there when they got in the car to leave the bar. There was a carabineer clip that held the fob to the ring containing the key to the condo and a small RFID card chip that scanned them into the front of the building. She removed the fob and put it into her pocket then looked back at Kelsey with the keys in hand. “If we’re all about setting records, then I should ask if you want to move in with me now that we’ve had a whole entire month together.”

  “What?” Kelsey’s mouth dropped open in shock. When she saw Jamie’s actions with the keys she just assumed that maybe her girlfriend was going to give her the spare set so she could get in and out easier. Never in a million years did she expect what actually came from Jamie’s lips.

  “Not right this second! I mean when your lease expires at the end of the year. You don’t have to say yes right away, or you can say yes and then change your mind if yo—” Her rambling was cut off as Kelsey stole the words with a kiss.

  When Kelsey pulled away she smiled at the sweetly flummoxed look on her girlfriend’s face. “You didn’t expect me to say yes, did you?”

  Jamie sheepishly rubbed the back of her freshly shorn neck. “I, uh, I’m not sure?”

  Kelsey cocked her head at Jamie’s confused expression. “So why did you ask me now? As in right now, rather than waiting another month or two?”

  “To quote a smart woman that I know intimately, ‘˜if she’s that cute and amazing you better ask her before someone else does. What if she has plans?’ I didn’t want to take a chance that you made other plans.”

  The Irish-Latina was delighted that Jamie remembered exactly what she said, word for word. “I see. Well, as it so turns out, I do not have any plans and I would love to move in with you!”

  Jamie was overjoyed but she tried to play it cool. “So, are you ready to live with a full-time nerd who’s a baby when she’s sick and an asshole when she’s PMSing?”

  Kelsey smirked at her. “Are you ready to live with someone who couldn’t cook snot on a hot rock and has two cats, one of which is
an asshole all the time?”

  “Eww, Kels!” Jamie’s face scrunched up in disgust. “That was a mental image I did not need! But yes I am. I can’t wait actually!”

  Kelsey abruptly reached over with both hands and gripped Jamie’s shoulders excitedly. “So we’ll plan on December for the move, yeah?” Jamie nodded happily. “You know what we need to do now?”

  Jamie shook her head. “No, what?”

  “Christen the condo!”

  “But babe, we’ve already don—” Her words were cut off by a single finger.

  Kelsey leered at her from the passenger seat. “Not in that outfit we haven’t! Let’s go, hot stuff!” They made record time up to the condo and Jamie even had Kelsey do the honors of getting them through both doors with her new keys. In no time flat Kelsey had Jamie pushed back onto the engineer’s large bed and was grinding into the delicious bulge that had been taunting her all night. She shuddered and finally pulled away from Jamie’s lips. “I can’t take it anymore. I need to see what it is!” She quickly moved off Jamie to the side and looked at her girlfriend’s heavy lidded gaze.

  Jamie’s lips were red and puffy from all the kissing they had done and Kelsey was half mad with desire herself. She reached for the button of Jamie’s pants and when she saw no signs of protest, she undid it swiftly. Then Kelsey took reverse care with the zipper, slowly drawing the metal tab down, one click at a time. The shirt had come untucked long ago while Kelsey ran her hands all over Jamie’s bare stomach. All that was left below the pants was a pair of men’s briefs with a bulge inside the pouch. “What is this?” There was a definite twinkle in Jamie’s eyes when Kelsey glanced up but she didn’t let it deter her from the treasure hunt.

  She reached beneath the underwear and withdrew something that looked like a balloon filled with sand, weird sand. She looked up at her girlfriend. “What the hell is it?”