Broken

by Jordan Silver

  They chatted like old friends, a lot more relaxed than the day before, and she stole a piece of turkey bacon off his plate. He didn’t know why a simple action like that meant as much as it did, but it made him grin like a sap. “What is it?” She was staring at him with that strip of meat halfway to her open mouth.

  “I’ve never seen you grin before.” He should do it more often. It did something amazing to his face, and his eyes. For a second there she could see the young carefree boy he must’ve once been. Now he was studying her and she became self-conscious again. What did he really see when he looked at her?

  For a split second her confidence slipped and she begun second-guessing herself again. He was so beautiful, if you could get away with calling someone like him such a thing. But even the ink he’d covered himself in added to his rugged good looks and made the whole package all but irresistible. So how was she, the small town nobody who’d already been rejected by someone who was undoubtedly not even in the same league as him, supposed to hold his interest?

  In the last few days, she’d come out of her shell a little, got some of the old Kerry back and then some. But she didn’t kid herself.

  But he was here now, and for what it’s worth she wanted it to be more than just a passing fancy for him. She’d never been so on edge and giddy at the same time. She could put the giddiness down to her writing, but she knew he was a big part of it.

  Her poor heart struggled not to cave, especially after the morning they’d had. She was one of those one-man types; she knew this. She wouldn’t be spending time with him if she weren’t interested. But where would that interest lead?

  “Stop thinking so hard baby, it’s a done deal.” She wasn’t even going to touch that. “Do you have some sort of writing schedule?” He changed the subject for which she was immensely grateful. “Not really, I just write when I feel it.” She pulled a little notepad from her bag. “I carry this in case I get an idea, then I jot it down for later, why?”

  “I just wanted to know so I could leave you alone to do your thing. I wanna take you for a ride when we’re done here.”

  “Hmm, is it gonna end like yesterday?” She can be a feisty little thing when she wants to. He liked that. It showed that she was growing more comfortable with him.

  “Not unless you start thinking about the asshole again.” There was no inflection in his voice, he just stated it as fact and carried on eating his breakfast. She had no argument for that because he was right. She also realized that when she rolled out of bed this morning Paul hadn’t even entered her mind.

  “Fine, I won’t.” She smirked at him.

  “Good girl, now eat your eggs before they get cold.” She did as she was told while they talked and laughed like new lovers.

  ***

  There might not have been a table of women watching but they had the full attention of the four old men across the room. “Look-look he’s holding her hand while they eat. I used to do that with my Mabel.”

  “He’s as good as gone Clance, look at that.” They each took turns breaking down the body language of the young couple that they were pretending not to stare at. “Don’t let them see you looking you old farts. You know how touchous these young people are, every little thing sets them off.”

  “Fine-fine Clance, but it’s a beautiful thing to watch, young love in its bloom.”

  “Deke, you’re a woman.”

  “Kiss my ass Charlie-you ain’t got no soul-that’s what’s wrong with you.”

  “That’s rich, which one of you pale bastards got more soul than me?”

  “Here we go with the race card.”

  “Race these nuts…”

  “Boys-boys can we have one day that doesn’t turn into an all out brawl? You two fools are too old to be acting like children. T, how many years we been refereeing between these two?”

  “Too many to count Clance, look they leaving.”

  They turned back to see Kyle drop some bills on the table before reaching for Kerry’s hand to help her up from the table. “They’re heading this way look sharp.” The four of them pretended an interest in the latest headline news like they’d been debating it all along. “Okay gramps, we’re heading out I’m gonna take Kerry for a ride then I’ll be back. It was nice to meet you gentlemen please keep him out of trouble.”

  “Go on with you boy and don’t worry about me, I’ll probably go over to Lucille’s to watch that mind numbing drivel she likes.” And to tell her how great everything’s going. Yes indeed, this was more exciting than pruning the rosebush he’d been planning on tackling.

  They left and walked out into the sun with their hands clasped. Kerry wondered why such an innocent thing made her tummy flop around like a landed trout, but each time he did it she got butterflies. And when he’d squeeze her fingers every once in a while for no reason, it made her smile.

  That smile didn’t last long when she saw what was coming towards her on the sidewalk. She wasn’t prepared- she thought she would be-had gone over it in her head time and again-but the reality was starkly different from anything she could’ve imagined. She shut down. There was no other word for it. Everything just stopped and she was back on that awful day when her world came tumbling down.

  Kyle knew who the woman was before she was on them. Kerry had gone stone cold. “It’s okay sweetie.” He whispered to her just as the other woman stopped in front of them with the stroller.

  He debated for all of two seconds before pulling her away and around the woman and heading for his bike. She was damn near catatonic when he put the helmet on her. “Look at me. Don’t do this, don’t let her see you like this.” She nodded her head but he knew she was too far-gone inside her head for his words to mean much. Dammit, just when the day had been going so well.

  Her arms squeezed around him even tighter than usual and he closed his eyes in silent prayer for a second. It fucked with him that she was hurt. It fucked with him even more that there was nothing he could do about it now. If the baby wasn’t there things would’ve gone differently, but what he had to say to that bitch would keep for another time.

  She’d done him a favor anyway, taking out the asshole before he came along. But she’d hurt his girl to do it. No matter the circumstances, that was a big fucking no-no. He knew his vengeful ass wasn’t gonna leave that shit alone-he couldn’t. If he was gonna live here, and it looked like he was, then his woman was gonna get her own back. She wasn’t gonna duck and hide every time she saw that skank on the fucking street.

  He wondered if he should wait for another day to show her the house but then said fuck it. He wasn’t putting shit on hold because of them they’d stolen enough of her joy already. He didn’t say a word to her as they rode along but he knew she was hurting. Hopefully having him here would ease some of the pain.

  He’d called the agent earlier while she was in the shower so the gate was open when they got there. Kerry had been expecting another trek down to the waterfront and was a little surprised when they pulled into the long winding driveway.

  She’d always liked the look of this place. It was like something out of one of those magical fairytales you read about. It even felt like another world where nothing bad could happen-if only.

  “What are we doing here?” She looked around in wonder when he lifted her off the bike and removed her helmet. He didn’t answer as he took her hand and walked her around to the back where the lake ran through.

  “It’s pretty isn’t it?” He could tell from her reaction that it had been a good move. Whatever the little run-in had done, it hadn’t brought her all the way down. She was radiant.

  Kerryanne was fighting hard to hold it together. She buried the pain for now because it was too much. Later, later when she was alone she’d take it out and deal with it. For now she chose to enjoy one of the few things she still found pleasure in.

  “I’ve always loved this place, the house and everything about it. Did you see the gardens?” Now she was the one dragging him along. “When
they were building it, I used to sneak in here before they put the gate up...everyone did it.” She tacked that part on as if she thought he’d reprimand her.

  Her joy in the place was evident and she prattled on and on about the grounds until he started leading her up the marble steps to the front door. “What’re you doing? We can’t go in there.” She looked around as if expecting someone to jump out and nail them.

  “Didn’t you see the For Sale sign out front?” “Yeah, but you need an agent to go in.”

  “It’ll be fine.” She was torn between dying to see the inside of the house and getting caught. Kyle didn’t seem to care and she had to wonder at someone with that much confidence. He pushed the door like he owned the place and her jaw hit the floor.

  “Wow.” She mouthed the word as she took it all in. It had everything; made the little home she’d built with Paul look like a shack and that hadn’t been anything to sneeze at. It was like every woman’s dream home. High ceilings, marble floors, spiral staircase and the biggest crystal chandelier she’d ever seen in the entrance hall.

  “Can I take pictures-do you think?” She knew just what the house her hero was going to buy the heroine was gonna look like. “Why are you whispering?” He whispered back with a grin. She’s so cute. When he wasn’t obsessed with getting her under him, he was becoming more and more enamored of the person she was.

  Her innocence never ceased to amaze him and he found that he liked it. It wasn’t contrived. He knew that now. It was just who she was and it was beautiful. She touched the walls and ran her hands down the polished wood of the staircase.

  In the bathrooms, she marveled at the gold faucets and she damn near fainted when they made it to the master suite. He was glad he’d brought her, because seeing her here, the way she found such joy in the place, solidified his decision for him.

  “This thing is twice the size of my apartment.” He stood back and watched as she moved from room to room exclaiming over everything. “So can I?”

  “Can you what?”

  “Take pictures do you think? Or is that rude? It’s for sale so the pics may be online right.”

  “Take your pictures Kerryanne, I doubt the new owners will mind.”

  She pulled out her new phone and started snapping away as he followed her around. “So would you change anything about this place? Color, floors, anything?”

  “Oh no, it’s perfect just the way it is. Thanks for bringing me.” In her excitement she kissed him, more like a peck on the lips, before pulling away shyly. His stare didn’t help her any, the way he just looked at her without saying a word.

  It was the first time she’d initiated contact and it surprised him for a minute. He pulled her back into his chest, and turning her to the wall, covered her lips for one of their torrid tongue fights. It was her first kiss in her new home though she didn’t know it, so he made it good.

  By the time they left, an hour or so later after she’d gone over every inch of the place, he was feeling good about his decision.

  Once again, he left her at the little apartment to get on with her writing, which she seemed overly eager to do, even though he noticed just a touch of sadness leave her at his parting.

  Chapter 10

  ***

  Kyle was very pleased with the way the morning had gone. He hadn’t heard back from the realtor about the offer but he wasn’t worried. If push came to shove, he’d give them what they were asking for. But no matter what, the house was hers. He’d never seen anyone get that excited over anything before. Then again, he’d never taken the time to notice before. And it had served another purpose. At least she wasn’t sad about running into the other woman, at least not so it showed.

  Things were coming at him hard and fast, and though he knew he had gramps’ approval, there was someone else he needed to hear from. Someone he knew would give it to him straight and pull him back from the brink if he was moving too fast. It was one thing to play this shit out in his head, but another to make it real. He picked up the phone as he looked out across the way at his gramps and Lucille sitting in her front yard.

  “Hi ma how’s my fav…how’s my favorite girl?” He actually stumbled on the word because someone else was quickly taking over that spot. “I’m good baby, how’re you doing? How’s grandpa?” “He’s good, now that he’s busy planning my life.”

  “What? What’re you talking about?”

  “Never mind, we’ll get to that. I have a question.” He walked away from the window and paced the floor.

  “Shoot.” He had to take a moment to think because once he opened this can of worms he knew there would be no going back. This one would make Attila the Hun look like a choirboy once she sunk her teeth into something.

  “Do you believe in love at first sight?” He had to take the phone away from his ear at her scream. “I’d take that as a yes.”

  “Who is she? What’s her name? When can I meet her, is she there?” She rattled off questions like a platoon sergeant and he held his peace until she calmed down. “I’m coming out there, as soon as your father gets back here.”

  “No mom, not yet. I want you to meet her but I still have some work to do.” Now comes the hard part. His ma’s idea of a wife for her baby boy is a lily white virgin fresh from the convent. He wasn’t sure how she’d take the news about the divorce, and he found that he wasn’t in the mood to hear anything negative about Kerryanne or their budding relationship. Not even from his mother, the only woman he’d ever trusted in his life.

  “What work what’s going on?”

  “She’s had some problems.” He told her about the divorce and the circumstances surrounding it. He told her about his baby’s innocence and the fact that she had no one in her corner.

  She listened without saying a word until he was done. He held his breath awaiting her judgment and was startled to hear sniffling on the other end of the line.

  “Ma?”

  “That poor girl. Do you have a picture? I wanna see her.” He thought of the one he’d snapped of her while she slept last night when he looked in on her. That wasn’t for anyone else’s eyes but his. “I’ll get you one, but you still haven’t answered my question.”

  “Son, this is you. If it were anyone else I might be a bit skeptical, but I know you-you wouldn’t be asking if it weren’t real. I’m happy for you son, so happy.” Not that he needed her approval, but the words made him feel like less of a fool. He’d given his heart to someone that he hardly knew. He needed all the reassurance he could get.

  He got her off the line by promising that she could come out soon and then spent the rest of the morning working on relocating. He’d keep his office in Chi-Town he guessed. He wasn’t going to put his people out of work. They’d probably breathe easier without the big boss breathing down their necks anyway. He was gonna have to head back there at some point, but not before he’d sealed the deal here.

  ***

  Kerry was on a high the rest of the morning. She didn’t know how so he’d shown her how to download the pictures to her computer. She spent more time gazing at those things than she did writing after he’d left, promising to come back for lunch.

  The joy lasted as long as she kept moving, but now that he wasn’t there, and there was no beautiful mansion to distract her, something else kept teasing at the mirrors of her mind.

  She tried putting it off by losing herself in her writing, and it worked for a little bit. She knew she couldn’t put it off forever but oh how she wanted to. It hurt, a deep gut pain that tore at her, seeing the woman who’d destroyed her life with the baby that should’ve been hers.

  Having Kyle there, seeing the house that had always brought her so much pleasure, had helped to soften the blow, but now she was back to reality. Her reality hadn’t changed all that much now had it? Although the last few days had been like a whirlwind, when she looked at it, her circumstances hadn’t shifted any that she could see.

  Kyle wasn’t hers and neither was the house. She had nothing
. Her phone rang and she jumped. That was the first time the thing rung since she got it. “Hello.”

  “Kerry, is that you?” Two hits in one day. She dropped back in her chair and fought the nausea. “Hi Paul.” Nothing, she felt nothing except the numbness that has been her cover for so long now.

  “How are you Kerry?” Was she supposed to answer that? She became just a little annoyed at his stupidity. How the hell did he think she was? “I’m just dandy and you?” Was that anger? Hell yes it was, and it felt good. “What do you want?” There was an edge to her voice. About time, she thought. At least that much had changed.

  “What? Why are you talking like that? I was just calling to check up on you. I worry about you.”

  “You worry about me? Since when?”

  “Now Kerry, don’t be like that. You know I don’t like it when you get like this.” He went on berating her and she was back to being that little orphan who had no one and needed him to be her shelter in the storm. By the time he hung up, she was a ball of misery.

  Why had he called now? Had Jen said something? She couldn’t quite remember all that he’d said. She’d been too busy fighting the nausea and the ringing in her ears. But the call itself was suspect. The last time he’d said anything to her it was to tell her to get on with her life and out of his.

  She laid on the couch staring at the walls trying to pull herself together. Why did she let him do this to her? Why was she still so weak? Was it because she’d never had closure? Because she still didn’t understand what had happened to her life? The whole thing had blindsided her yes, but hadn’t enough time passed that she should be getting over this?

  Instead she felt gutted, bereft, all the things she’d been fighting before a certain someone came into her life. Sure it was not as bad as it was even a week ago. But this thing with Kyle was still so uncertain, if there even was a ‘thing’, that it wasn’t enough to take the pain completely away.