by Talia Hunter
“It’s a simple job,” he said as he carried the battery down the cockpit stairs. “It’ll take me two minutes to connect it. Probably less.”
She watched the coastguard moving slowly away as she waited. They didn’t seem to be in much of a hurry. Surely they wouldn’t have minded dropping her off.
“There,” said Nate, wiping his hands on his shorts as he came back up into the cockpit. “Now the engine will start. You’ll be in Denarau in two hours.” He turned the key, then frowned.
There was dead silence. The only engine noise was a soft rumble from the coastguard’s boat as it motored away.
“Shit.” Nate ran his hand through his hair. “Okay, give me a minute. I need to—”
“A minute?” Suzie felt her chest tightening. “You’ve been trying to fix it for two days.”
“You need to give me a little more time.”
“Time is the one thing I can’t give you.” She clenched her fists, fighting the urge to scream. “Why can’t you understand that?”
“I understand it,” he snapped, waving his hand at the cockpit controls. “You’re the one who doesn’t get how any of this works.”
She froze as his words hit her. Her stomach turned over and for a moment she wanted to be sick. All this time he’d been treating her like an equal, when this was what he really thought of her. He was a genius. To him, she’d always be dumb.
“I’m sorry, Nate. I was wrong about us. I guess we don’t have a future after all.” The words felt like razors in her throat.
He said nothing for a long time. She stared toward the coastguard boat, too afraid to look at him. If she looked, she’d start bawling. Or beg him not to accept this was the end. If he’d fight for her instead of just protecting himself, then maybe they could work it out.
He made a noise that startled her. Was it an exclamation of anger, or pain? She turned to him, but now he was the one wheeling away. He started down the stairs into the saloon. “Once I get the engine started, the radio will come back on and I’ll call the coastguard back to get you. If you’re in that much of a hurry to leave.”
She watched him go. Every step he took ripped her insides apart. Tears were starting and her face was hot. She couldn’t let him see her like this. She had to get out of here before she fell apart.
The coastguard boat was still close enough that she could reach it in the tender, which was still tied to the yacht’s stern. She’d watched him start the outboard motor yesterday by pulling on the rope, so how hard could it be?
She scrambled into the tender, grabbed the motor’s starter cord, and yanked it out like she’d seen Nate do. It was stiffer than she’d expected and it came out in jerks. The engine didn’t so much as cough. She tugged the cord out again, making it smoother this time, and the engine caught with a roar.
She scrambled to untie the rope holding her to the boat, then went back to the motor. It was idling. Turning the handle revved it, but she wasn’t going forward. Stupid engine. She swiped angrily at her tears. There had to be a gear lever here somewhere. Was that it on the side?
“You couldn’t wait even a few minutes?”
Suzie jerked her head up. Nate stared down at her from the yacht, his expression hard. If only he’d show some sign that she meant enough to him to fight for. If he’d give her something to work with, maybe it didn’t have to be this way.
“What about your things?” His voice was harsh.
Crap, she’d forgotten her suitcase and purse. She was so worked up she would have motored off in just the clothes she was wearing without a cent to her name.
“I didn’t think about…” The words choked off, the lump in her throat getting in the way.
He turned and went below. She put her face in her hands as she slowly drifted away from the yacht. What was she doing? Running away wouldn’t soften the pain. She’d stay and talk it through with him, if only he was willing to drop his defenses.
“Here.” He climbed onto the transom with her suitcase and purse, and managed to throw them the short distance into the dinghy without losing either to the sea.
“Nate, I…” What good was it trying to talk when his mouth was set in a hard line? His eyes were the coldest she’d ever seen them.
“I’m sorry,” she managed.
“Goodbye, Suzie.” He turned and went below.
She stared at the empty deck for a moment, tears running down her cheeks, wishing he’d reappear. Every second she sat there, the coastguard boat got further away. But it couldn’t end like this, could it?
17
When he heard the tender’s engine roar away, Nate stuck his head up from re-attaching the new battery to watch her go.
It hurt like hell that she could end their relationship so easily. But maybe it had been a lucky escape. If the pain was bad now, it would only have got worse later. This was exactly why he hadn’t wanted to get close to anyone.
Only as he watched the coastguard vessel slow to let her come alongside, he didn’t feel lucky. He felt miserable. The last couple of days had been so spectacular he’d let himself be lulled into a false sense of security, thinking maybe it would be okay. He should have known better.
The crew pulled Suzie on board. After a short conversation, one of them got in their own tender and starting towing their one back to him. What had she told them? Would the young man in the boat think Suzie was desperate to get away from him because he’d done something awful?
He steeled himself as the man got close enough to pass him the tender, but the man just gave him a nod. “We’re going to drop her at Denarau,” he said. “We’re not usually a taxi service, but we’re heading there anyway.”
“Thanks.” Nate wasn’t thanking him for taking Suzie away, but for letting him know she was going to be okay. And for not treating Nate with the suspicion that Nate would have no doubt felt if their positions were reversed.
Suzie had disappeared from sight on the coastguard vessel, and he had a sudden urge to ask the guy to bring her back. Or to go over there himself, so he could convince Suzie to get back on board with him.
If Suzie came back, he could tell her that the last couple of days had changed him. He felt like they’d been discovering something wonderful. In spite of the way she’d left, he already knew he was going to miss Suzie like crazy.
He’d fallen for her. Head over heels. He had to be, for it to hurt so badly. So what now?
Nate glanced towards the dashboard. Maybe he hadn’t managed to bypass all the blown circuits. If he convinced Suzie to come back on board but couldn’t get the engine started, she’d never forgive him.
He raised a hand in farewell as the man turned back toward the coastguard vessel. Better she stayed where she was if it meant she was guaranteed to catch her plane. Besides, heading to Port Denarau on his own would give him the thinking time he needed. Time to decide if opening himself up to someone who could inflict this kind of pain on him had been the worst idea ever. To wonder whether it was possible to evict her from his heart. Could he cut his losses and run?
And without Suzie on board, he had time to run his tests properly and be sure his software was going to work. Yeah, this way was best.
Still, he waited at the rail, watching until the coastguard boat was out of sight. Half hoping it would turn around and come back, that Suzie would jump back on board, her blue eyes flashing as she berated him.
It wasn’t until the boat had disappeared in the distance that Nate turned back to the battery. Ah, he saw where he’d gone wrong. He’d been in too much of a hurry. Once he wired it properly, the engine would start. At least, that’s what he hoped.
Nate did the work, then held his breath as he turned the ignition key to the starting position. The ignition light came on, so at least the new battery was working and the engine had power. He turned the key all the way and the engine coughed, then caught. The roar cut through the silence, shattering the serene beauty of his surroundings. Nate sighed. He should feel overjoyed it had started. Inst
ead there was an empty place in his heart.
“See, Suzie?” he said aloud. “If you’d trusted me, I would have got you there.”
But she hadn’t trusted him. No, Suzie had jumped ship the first chance she’d got. She’d left without giving him a serious chance.
Every time Nate had loved someone, it had damn near destroyed him. First his mother. Then Yasmina. Worst of all had been the endless years he’d spent waiting for Harrison to kill himself. And still, like a fool, he’d opened his heart up to Suzie. What had he been thinking?
She’d got him so turned around, he didn’t know what the hell he wanted anymore. No regrets? That was a joke. If he could wipe the last few days out of his memory and go back to the way he was, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Anything was better than this.
Instead of using the electric winch, Nate lifted the anchor by hand. He wanted to sweat and strain and forget about Suzie. His software was what mattered. He’d prove it worked, go back to New York, and throw himself into creating something special.
Nate secured the anchor, then went to the steering wheel and put the engine in gear. As he motored away from the rocks, he had to force himself to keep looking forward, and not glance back at the place he was leaving behind forever.
18
“Holy mother of mess ups.” Suzie put her hands over her face and tried not to panic. “It’s all going wrong.”
Marianna took a piece of calamari out of Suzie’s frying pan and chewed. “The flavor’s good, but it’s tough. Did you leave it on the heat too long?”
“I don’t know what I did,” Suzie moaned through her fingers. “Damn, damn, damn.”
“It’s okay. Look, we have all the ingredients for mini quiches, and you’ve prepared them a hundred times. Honestly, it’s safer not to make anything so fancy. The bride might have been okay with the switch, but I’m sure she won’t mind if you go back to the original plan.”
Suzie took a deep breath, trying not to cry. Her last chance to do something different on Friday night was blown. Marianna was about to leave for her holiday, and the recipe Suzie had been going to wow her with was a disaster. She was a failure. Again. And this time it was official.
Marianna checked her watch. “I’m sorry hon, but I only have a few minutes before I have to go. You’re a great cook when you make the usual things. Now’s not the time to try something new.”
Suzie nodded, her throat too tight to say anything.
“You’re going to do great tomorrow night,” Marianna got her lip gloss and compact out of her handbag. “I only wish I could be there to enjoy it. I’ll be back on Saturday morning and I want a full report.”
Suzie’s cellphone rang, and she fished it out of her handbag to check the display. Nate. When he’d called yesterday, she’d been so shocked to hear his voice that she’d made an excuse and hung up.
“Don’t you want to answer it?” Marianna slicked gloss over her lips and pressed them together.
“No.”
It stopped ringing. Suzie waited but it didn’t ding. No message. She wanted to talk to him, but she wasn’t ready yet. First she needed time to think things through.
Marianna dropped her makeup back in her handbag and snapped it shut. “Was that the guy you’ve been so upset about? Why won’t you talk to him?”
“Because he’s not who I thought he was. I mean, I thought he wasn’t a regular guy. But it turns out he’s as far from regular as its possible to get.”
“What do you mean?”
Instead of answering, Suzie picked up her phone and found one of the articles that had come up when she’d Googled Nate. An eight-page article in Newsweek, devoted entirely to Nate. It was titled, The Industry Disruptor and included pictures of him lounging in a huge penthouse apartment with spectacular views over New York.
“That’s him?” Marianna asked, peering at the screen. “And that’s his place?”
“One of his houses.” She swiped through another article, this time in People. It showed Nate at different social events with a variety of women. All were gorgeous. Legs up to their eyebrows, just as she’d imagined. But actually seeing the proof of them was a million times worse.
“He probably has to go to parties for work,” said Marianna. “And I’m sure he’s not serious about any of those women. They’re probably just casual dates. Besides, the photos had to have been taken before he met you.”
“I don’t care about those women,” lied Suzie. “That’s not why I don’t want to talk to him right now.”
“Then what?”
She pointed to the cold, tough squid, congealing in the pan. “Because of that. Because as hard as I try, I can’t get anything to work out.”
“Oh, sweetie. That’s not true.”
Suzie pulled up a third article. The Twenty Most Influential People In Technology. Nate was number five.
“You’re going to have to explain it to me,” said Marianna. “What I’m seeing is a rich, successful hottie. So why are you running the other way?”
Suzie breathed out. The minute she’d gotten back in the land of wifi, she’d spent several hours looking up everything she could find on Nate, as any sane woman would. There was a whole lot more than she’d ever dreamed there’d be. The articles she’d shown Marianna were just a tiny fraction of the ones she’d found. And with each new gushing article she’d pulled up, her hopes had shrivelled a little more.
The man staring back at her from a hundred different magazine features wasn’t the Nate she knew. He was someone from a fantasy world. A man who didn’t even breathe the same air as she did.
“How could we possibly make a relationship work?” she asked. “When we talked about it, he didn’t even suggest leaving New York. His work is so important, he didn’t question the fact that I should be the one to move. But I like working for you, and I don’t want to leave LA and have to start again in another city.” She glanced at her dog, lying in the hall with his head on his paws, his ears cocked toward her. “And can you imagine Rocky living in a New York apartment?”
Marianna looked startled. “Good lord, please don’t leave. We’re too busy and you’d be too hard to replace.”
“See? Neither of us can move, so there’s no future for us anyway.” Suzie wiped her hands on her apron, using it as an excuse to hold her face down and hide the turmoil of emotions that had been making her feel ragged and on edge since she’d got off the yacht. Even if she could find a way to spend time with Nate, she’d still be lost in his shadow. He’d been on the cover of Time magazine, for heaven’s sake. She wasn’t even in her high school yearbook.
“If you like him that much, you must be able to work things out.” Marianna’s tone was firm. “Only don’t leave, okay? Not unless you give me several months notice.”
“I’m not going to leave. What’s the point, when I’m not the right woman for him?”
The kicker had been one of the articles that talked about how successful the self-drive system Nate was working on would be. If they were a couple of picture books, he’d be Mr Invincible and she’d be Little Miss Mess. They didn’t belong on the same shelf.
Marianna put a consoling hand on Suzie’s arm. “I hate to see you looking so sad.”
“I’ll be okay. Working will probably keep my mind off it. All I want is to forget about him and concentrate on making sure tomorrow night is a success.”
“It will be. I have absolute confidence in you.”
That was more than she had in herself. “Thanks, Marianna,” she said sincerely. “Now go, and don’t worry about a thing. I’ll see you on Sunday.”
“Don’t forget to switch on the alarm.”
“I won’t.”
The door closed behind her boss, and as if he knew it was safe to let their real feelings show, Rusty lifted his head and whined. He was strictly forbidden from going into Marianna’s kitchen where they did all their food preparation, but he was lying in the hallway as close as he was allowed to get.
Suzie wanted to thr
ow her arms around him, bury her face in his fur and sob. But she couldn’t afford to, not when she had three hundred mini quiches to prep for tomorrow night. She was scraping calamari into the trash and managing to drop most of it on the floor in the process, when her phone rang.
Nate again? How was she ever going to be able to concentrate on anything else when he kept calling her? And how on earth would she get over him? This had to stop.
She took a breath and answered it. But instead of hello, she said, “Yes?” in a cold tone.
He was silent for a moment. Then, “I’ve caught you at a bad time.”
Suzie tried to run her hand through her hair, accidentally pulling a hunk of curls out from the bun she wore while she was cooking. “You have. I’m sorry. Things aren’t going well.”
“What’s wrong?”
“The calamari I cooked is about as edible as the tires on my car, and all my plans were for nothing. I’m about to make three hundred mini quiches. You?”
“I miss you,” he said simply. “It hurts and I hate it.”
This was exactly what she was afraid of. “Nate, I can’t do this now.”
“It’s not why I rang. I wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow night. I’m sorry your preparation isn’t going well, but after the meals you cooked on the yacht, I can’t believe the wedding will be anything but a complete success.”
Her hand tightened around her phone. If only he were right. And now, just to add to her misery, she felt bad for snapping at him. It wasn’t his fault everything had turned to crap.
“How did your test go?” she asked.
His tone lightened. “It worked perfectly. My business partner and I have a meeting with the car manufacturer tomorrow, and we’re going to turn down their offer.” He laughed. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Great. He was happy about turning down fifty-five million dollars. No doubt because he knew he’d make plenty more than that, and get to live his dream while he was doing it.