by Shay Lynam
After a few minutes of silence I got up from the table and took my empty bowl to the sink.
“What are you going to do?” Ben asked me without looking away from the newspaper in front of him.
I stood over the sink and looked out the window. The sky was gray and dreary. It looked like it was going to rain. There were several cars on the street. Most of them looked beat up and abandoned. One though was black and looked new. “I think I'll go tear my hair out,” I finally said watching as a single water droplet dripped from the faucet and disappeared down the drain.
Now, my brother sighed from behind me. “I know you're bored, Jack,” he said with a tone that reminded me of the way Dad used to talk to us. “But we just have to hang tight for a bit longer.”
I turned around to face him. “How long?” I asked feeling a little irritated. “I feel like a sitting duck here.”
“Aly and I are working on a plan,” Ben assured me.
“Were you ever going to let me in on this plan?”
“Details still need to be worked out.”
I narrowed my eyes drilling them into his. “What details?”
My brother folded the newspaper in half and then again in half, pressing his fingers along the crease in thought. He started chewing on the inside of his cheek as he traced the letters on the page in front of him. Finally, he looked back up to meet my eyes. “We're going away.”
This was getting frustrating. “Where are we going?” I asked. “Quit hinting around and just tell me what's going on, Ben. Point blank.”
“I was thinking Mexico.”
I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest. “Mexico? How are we supposed to get to Mexico?” I asked him. “We need passports and money. Unless you're thinking of having someone smuggle us in the back of a pig truck, you need to come up with a better plan.”
“That's the plan.”
I shook my head. “Well, becoming an international fugitive isn't my plan,” I said to him.
“There isn't much else we can do, Jack,” Ben said raising his voice a bit. “We can't stay here. We can't put anyone else in danger.”
“What if we try getting a hold of Mom and Dad again?”
“I thought you already tried that.”
I bit my lip. “Well, I did. We could keep trying though.”
My brother let out a sigh and stood up from the table. “This is the only way,” he said then disappeared down the hall.
I stood still for a bit staring at the empty doorway. I didn't want to go to Mexico. What had Ben dragged me into? My hand smacked hard against the counter, but my anger numbed the pain so it didn't really help much.
The farthest south I had ever been was when my parents had taken Ben and me to Disneyland when we were twelve. The best part had been sitting there watching my brother try pulling the sword out of the stone in front of Merlin's Carousel. Then, when he had failed, I'd given it a go. Not many amazing things had happened in my twelve years, but pulling that fake sword out of the concrete anvil looking thing and having that cheap medal put around my neck by the old guy in the purple robe had definitely been the best. Either that or seeing the look on my brother's face as I beamed at the cheering crowd surrounding us. It occurred to me much later that the whole thing was set up and had nothing to do with my own little twelve year old strength. And it occurred to me that if I had gone up there before Ben, he'd be the one with the cheap medal hanging on his bed post and not me.
All that to say, I've never been to Mexico. And I've never had the desire to go there. There had to be another way.
* * *
That night when Aly came home, I could immediately tell something was wrong. She didn't say a word to me or Ben when either of us greeted her. Instead, she went straight to her room and shut the door behind her.
She didn't come out for dinner, which wasn't much since neither Ben nor I could cook. She didn't come out after Ben had gone to bed and I'd knocked on her door to see if she wanted to share another bottle of scotch. I stumbled back again after polishing off a quarter of the bottle to see if she just wanted to talk. But before I could bring my knuckles to rap on the door, her voice from the other side stopped me. Aly was on the phone with someone.
“I'm scared, David.” Her voice was shaky, almost inaudible. “They're already suspicious. I know I'm going to get caught one of these days and then...”
Who was going to catch her? What was she afraid of getting caught doing?
“I know,” she continued after a few silent seconds. “I know. I know...alright. I love you too. I'll call you tomorrow after work.” Then a cellphone beeped as she hung up.
Who did she love? Who was this David?
Only after Aly opened the door did I realize I was standing on the other side with my hand still up, fist ready to knock. “Uh...hi,” I finally said blinking at her slightly blurry face.
“Hi, Jack,” she sighed and rubbed her red eyes. Had she been crying?
“Who was that you were talking to?” I asked following after her as she made her way to the kitchen.
“Nobody.”
“Didn't sound like nobody,” I said. “Sounded like somebody to me. Somebody important to you, maybe?”
Aly sat down in front of the bottle of scotch and took a swig. The alcohol sloshed in the bottle. I watched her take a few gulps before putting it back down then she closed her eyes against the burn. I took a seat across from her and waited for her to open her eyes again, but she didn't. Instead she covered her face with her hands and let out a sob.
“Hey,” I finally said, reaching across the table to put my hand on her arm. “What's going on?” I asked her. “What happened?”
“Oh, Jack,” she groaned miserably. “I'm in all sorts of trouble.”
“What kind of trouble? Like you could be fired?”
Aly slid her hands down her face, pulling the skin under her eyes down. “More like I could be killed,” she whispered and bit her lip to keep it from quivering.
Any drunken feelings I'd had were long gone now. I stared for a moment at her shaking hands and she clasped them and unclasped them then finally just laid them flat in front of her. Her knuckles turned white as she pressed hard against the table and I could see all the tendons and veins under her skin. Finally, I looked up at her downcast eyes. “What do you mean you could be killed?” I asked steadily.
“I mean,” Aly started then took a deep breath, keeping her eyes on her trembling fingers, “I've been doing something for the past couple days that, if certain people find out, could get me in some seriously deep trouble.”
“What are you doing that could get you in deep trouble?” I asked her covering her shaking hand with my own. Finally, she met my eyes and leaned in a bit.
“I think I've found a way to make you and Ben disappear,” she said.
“Really? You think this could all stop and we could come out of hiding?”
Aly nodded. “I think so. But it's risky. Really, really risky.”
“Like get-yourself-killed kind of risky?” Now I found myself leaning in as well. “What do you have to do?”
“There's this new list they've put me in charge of,” she said. “And you two are on it.”
“Both of us?” I asked a little shocked. “I thought they were just going after Ben.”
Aly leaned back again with a sigh and took another swig from the bottle of scotch. She offered it to me and I took it, tipping it back and letting it burn a path of fire down my throat. “No. You're both on it. But I'm working to get you off of it.”
I nodded still trying to process that I was in this just as much as my brother was. What had I ever done to get on some hit list? I didn't have any enemies, at least that I knew of. I'd never done anything risky or stupid that could get me in trouble.
“And, Jack,” she paused until I was looking at her again, “you can't tell Ben I told you this.”
I leaned back in my chair and narrowed my eyes at her. “And how should I say I came
about this information?” I snapped. “Divined it from a bowl of Fruit Loops?”
Aly shook her head. “You can't say anything, Jack. Your brother can be…irrational.”
“True,” I muttered.
“I'm trying to keep you two out of trouble, not bury you deeper,” she said as she tipped the bottle back again. “What time is it?” she slurred as her eyelids drooped.
I glanced at the glowing numbers on the oven. “Two thirty,” I said sliding the bottle toward myself and pouring scotch into my mouth. Feel the burn.
Aly groaned and put her head down on the table then immediately lifted it again. “I suppose I should go to bed,” she said standing up and pushing her chair in. “Thanks.”
I set the bottle down, flicking my finger across my chin to catch a drip. “For what?” I asked after an awkward couple seconds.
Aly shrugged. “I don't know,” she said. “I feel a bit better than I did earlier.”
“You can thank your gifted Scottish relatives,” I replied holding up the bottle like I was giving a toast.
A small smile stretched across her face for a second then disappeared again. “Cheers, Jack” she said then headed for her room.
“Goodnight, Aly,” I called after her hearing her bedroom door close.
I got up after that, taking the bottle of scotch with me back to the extra room. When I got in there, the mess of blankets and pillows on the floor was empty and the window was open. I found Ben sitting out on the fire escape sucking on the butt end of a cigarette. The two of us sat in silence as he blew out the last bit of smoke then flicked the stub into the cold, night air. We watched as it dropped three stories to the concrete ground below.
I swung the bottle in my hand from side to side like a pendulum, watching the amber liquid catch the moonlight when it reached a certain angle. “I don't want to go to Mexico,” I said finally, then tipped the bottle back and let the last of the scotch warm my insides.
“I don't either,” Ben replied with a sigh.
chapter five
Aly was already gone the next morning when Ben and I woke up and untangled ourselves from the nest of blankets on the floor. I was really beginning to miss my bed back home. I also missed my clothes, my TV…my sanity, for that matter.
“What shall we do today, my dear Watson?” I asked twisting until my spine made a satisfying cracking sound.
Ben stood up and stretched his arms above his head so his fingertips almost brushed the ceiling. “If anything, I'm Sherlock and you're Watson.”
“Why do you get to be Sherlock?”
My brother started out the door. “Because I'm older and far more intelligent.”
It's hard to keep yourself occupied and distracted when you're stuck in a tiny apartment all day. Especially after three days. I would say I ran out of things to do, but that would mean I'd had something to do in the first place. There were a few bookshelves in the spare room where I'd been sleeping so I spent a good portion of the morning skimming over the titles, pulling out any books that looked interesting and then putting them back again when I found they weren't as interesting as I hoped. Getting to know Aly over the past couple days, she hadn't struck me as the religious type, but a lot of the books on these shelves were old, Scottish literature on Christianity. I ran my fingers along the spines, feeling the sunken letters in the soft leather.
Our parents had never really talked to us much about religion. I think they wanted Ben and me to figure things out on our own so it was never really brought up. I don't know what Ben believed, but I've always kind of hoped there was something or someone somewhere keeping an eye on things down here. If anything, at least it made me feel less alone in this messed up world.
Ben popped his head in interrupting my thoughts. “Want some lunch?”
I put the book I'd been holding back in its spot on the shelf. “What are we having?” I asked him.
Ben shrugged. “Whatever we can find.”
“Whatever we can find” turned out to be more chili from a can. I also grabbed a loaf of bread from the cupboard and put some chili between two slices. “I'm going to pretend this is a double bacon cheeseburger,” I said squishing the two pieces of bread together so the chili oozed out the sides. Ben smirked as I took a big bite and shut my eyes.
“How's it taste?” he asked me after a bit.
My eyes popped open again and I dropped the sandwich into my bowl. “Worst burger I've ever had,” I said disappointed. “I want my money back.”
Again, Ben smiled and grabbed a slice of bread from the loaf in between us. He spooned some chili on it and held it out in front of him. “Maybe this pizza will be better,” he said then took a bite. After a second, he shook his head. “Nope. Terrible pizza.”
“Pizza sounds so good right now,” I muttered pushing the bowl of chili away and putting my head in my hands.
Ben dropped the bread into his bowl and pushed it away too. “Maybe we can get some on our way out of the country.”
That's right, he didn't know about Aly's plan to get us off that list she'd mentioned. I wondered how that was going. I bit my cheek, debating if I should say something to Ben or not. Aly had told me to keep my mouth shut about it, but I really didn't want to go to Mexico. “When are we leaving?” I asked.
Ben shrugged. “I was thinking tomorrow night,” he said and my gut twisted into a knot. Aly didn't have much time. “It'd be better to move when it's dark so we don't attract much attention.”
“I guess,” I muttered. “But maybe there's another way.”
Ben shook his head as he pulled his bowl back toward himself and took a big bite of chili. “This is the plan, Jack. We're going through with it,” he said with his mouth full. “It'll be alright. We'll let Aly know when she gets home tonight.”
I really hoped Aly was successful with this.
I looked down at my chili again and immediately felt sick. Maybe going to Mexico wouldn't be so bad. Especially if I could get some decent food. I got up and took my bowl to the sink. The sky was dark and rain was coming down in sheets. Summer was officially over here in Seattle.
Ben stayed in the kitchen while I went back to Aly's bookshelves. She had a lot of old literature. Tolstoy, Orwell, Steinbeck. I pulled a Hemingway novel off the shelf and cracked it open. I'd never really read anything outside of school. I remembered this one from eleventh grade though when we were studying old literature. An old man spends the entire time trying to catch this big fish and in the end, he does, showing everyone that he's still got it. Way to go old man. At least I think that’s what happened. I never finished it.
I lost track of time and before I knew it, the sky was black and Aly still wasn't home from work. Even though it had only been a couple of days, something in the pit of my stomach told me she should have been home by now.
When I got into the kitchen, Ben was up pacing nervously and looking out the window every time he made it around the table.
“Aly isn't home yet,” I muttered.
“Ya think, Sherlock?” he spat in reply.
“I thought you were Sherlock.”
Ben shot me a look that had me backing into the wall. “Do you think something happened to her?” I asked after he had rounded the table a few more times.
My brother pushed his fingers up into his hair. “I don't know,” he sighed anxiously. “I hope not. God, I really hope not.”
My brother's anxiety grew as the hours slowly ticked by. I tried my best to keep myself distracted, flipping through Aly’s old books. Ben, on the other hand, was switching between pacing around the table and sitting down, taking apart Dad's gun and putting it back together repeatedly.
Finally, I couldn't take the constant clicking of his shoes on the tiled floor and the constant clicking of the gun as he released the clip then slid it back into place. I could hear it all the way from down the hall and it was beginning to get into my head.
I snapped whatever book I was pretending to read shut and headed for the kitchen. Ben ha
d his head down on the table and his hands were mechanically working the magazine in and out of the grip. I made my way around him to Aly's liquor cupboard. “Drink?” I asked as I grabbed two bottles down.
Ben didn't reply so I took it as a yes and set one down in front of him. He finally sat up and stared at the bottle with bloodshot eyes. “No thanks,” he muttered.
“You need it,” I replied and unscrewed the cap.
He sat there for a moment working his jaw as he stared at it. Maybe he was debating on whether or not we should go through with the plan. Maybe he wanted to leave that night. For a second, panic washed through me, but then he brought the bottle up to his mouth, tipped it back and took a couple deep drinks. I felt my body relax a bit. We were staying put. At least for now.
Two o' clock rolled around but sleep never entered either of our minds as we sat drinking in silence. I'm sure we were both thinking the same thing: if they'd gotten to Aly, they were probably coming after us next.
“How soon are we leaving?” I asked after a quarter of my bottle was gone. I was having a hard time controlling my tongue so my words came out slurred.
Ben just shrugged and traced the raised letters on the side of his own bottle. “I don't know if we can,” he finally said.
“Why not?”
He took another drink. “Because there's been a car sitting outside for the past four hours and I'm pretty sure they’re here for us.”
Trying to keep my balance, I got up quickly and looked out the window over the sink. It was pretty dark but I could still make out the outline of a car parked on the street below us. “That car has been there at least since yesterday,” I slurred falling back into my seat.
My brother swore and put his head back down on the table. “This is a nightmare,” he muttered. “I'm sorry I dragged you into this.”
“You didn't,” I said and took another drink. This caused Ben to sit back up.
“What do you mean?” he asked narrowing his eyes at me.
I swiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “Aly told me both of our names are on a list. She didn't want me to tell you but I guess it doesn't really matter now.”