by Shay Lynam
I could feel my heart hammering as I stared my brother down. “Well, why do you always get to be Batman?”
Ben’s expression changed instantly. “What?” he asked obviously caught off guard.
“It’s starting to feel like you’re always Batman and I’m Robin,” I said scratching the back of my neck. “I don’t want to be Robin all the time.”
Ben’s mouth was still hanging open as he stared at me completely confused. “We aren’t Batman or Robin any of the time.” Then he shook his head. “Just watch the door.”
“Fine,” I muttered and leaned back against the wall.
I chewed on my lip and glared at the other end of the hallway as Ben slowly opened the door so it didn’t make a sound. Then he slipped in silently. As I stuffed my hands into my jacket pockets, one of them closed around Hailey’s file. Pulling it out and unfolding the paper, I studied her picture wondering what her story could be. Her skin was lighter so she was probably from somewhere in Europe. Maybe her parents had told her what country she was from. Or maybe she didn’t even know she and her brother were adopted. No, she had to know. Especially with Ryan having darker skin like me. Maybe he and I were from the same place. Maybe our birth moms had known each other. We could have been born in the same hospital.
A scream erupted from behind the door causing me to jump. Without another second to think, I rushed into the room reaching for my gun, and crashed right into Ben. I looked past him to find a girl, that wasn’t Hailey, with a towel wrapped around her body.
“Who are you?” she screamed clutching at the towel. “What are you doing in my room?”
Ben held his hands out in front of him and opened his mouth to talk.
“This is the girls’ dorm,” she continued loudly. “Are you guys perverts or something?”
“Okay, okay. We’ll leave,” Ben finally blurted. “We were just looking for someone.”
“Who?”
“Hailey Roemer,” I said. “And we’re not perverts.”
The girl hugged the towel tighter and crossed her arms over her chest as she eyed the two of us suspiciously. “She left a couple days ago for winter break,” she said, the volume of her voice finally lowering. Surely her screaming had drawn some sort of attention. I turned around and peeked out the door to find several girls standing outside their doors, craning their necks to see into the room.
“Hey, Ben,” I whispered keeping my eyes on one girl in particular as she put her phone up to her ear.
“Do you know where she went?” he asked ignoring my attempts at getting his attention.
I hit him hard on the arm. “Ben, we should probably go.”
My brother turned to glare at me and his eyes shifted to the small crowd out in the hallway. Then he turned back to the girl. “What’s your name?” he asked her.
She lifted a perfectly tweezed eyebrow, obviously surprised by the question. “Lydia.”
“Alright, Lydia,” Ben said calmly. “I’m Ben and this is my brother, Jack.” I gave a quick wave then turned to watch the girl on the phone out in the hall. “We just need to find Hailey. It’s important.”
Lydia glanced at me again then at the people watching out in the hall. I wanted to yell at her. A person’s life was at stake. Her friend’s life! Finally, she pursed her lips into a pout and huffed at Ben. “She’s at her parents’ house.”
“Thank you,” I said quickly and grabbed my brother’s arm. Then I pulled him back out into the hall before he had a chance to say another word. We needed to get going. If we got to Hailey’s parents’ and those suits had touched even one brown hair on that perfect head of hers, they were dead. I wouldn’t need my gun. I’d use my fists.
* * *
I didn’t feel like I could really inhale until we were in the car and back on the freeway heading toward Columbia City. It was only a few miles outside of Seattle so we didn’t have far to go. I just hoped we weren’t too late. Even with the five patients we had been able to save, I didn’t know how many more failures I could take. I didn’t know how many more Ben could take.
I glanced over at my brother. “I haven’t seen you smoke since that night at Aly’s.” He didn’t respond. “Did you quit?” I finally asked after he’d been silent for a while.
His eyes darted to the rear view mirror. “I don’t know.” He shrugged. “I guess.” Ben shifted uncomfortably in his seat and exhaled heavily.
“What’s your problem?” I asked irritated. He’d been acting weird ever since we left the college.
“I think–”
I waited for him to finish his sentence but his attention was diverted to the mirror again. “What?” I asked loudly. “You think, what?”
“I think,” Ben started again, his eyes still glued to the mirror, “I think we’re being followed.”
chapter nine
I spun in my seat to look out the back windshield. There was a red minivan right behind us. “What, we’re being tailed by soccer mom?” I asked.
“Behind the minivan, moron,” Ben muttered clenching his teeth. He swerved into the next lane over and I watched in horror as a black car slipped out from behind the minivan and got into our lane.
I couldn’t help but swear as I turned around and sank down into my seat. “What do we do?” I asked feeling my heart drop into my stomach.
Ben tapped his thumbs anxiously on the steering wheel and his eyes darted from the road to the rear view mirror as he thought. I could almost see the gears turning in his head and then something clicked. “Hang on,” he said quickly then jerked the wheel to the right, sending the car swerving toward an off ramp.
Even as we gained speed and blew through a red light, the black car stayed on us. This couldn’t be happening. It all had to be a dream or a sick joke. Glancing at my brother though, seeing his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel, sitting forward trying to figure out our next move, this was anything but a joke. I looked back to find the suits gaining on us.
“What do we do?” I asked again turning around to face the front. It was dark now and our headlights weren’t letting us see very far ahead. Ben needed to do something or we were going to crash. Then we’d really be done for.
Light flooded the cab as the suits gained on us. We needed to do something. “Ben!”
“I’m thinking,” he yelled back at me and jerked the wheel to the left. I slammed hard into the window then was thrown the other way when we straightened back out. “Alright,” Ben said, “get ready to jump.”
“Are you crazy?” I screamed rubbing the sore spot on the side of my head. “Do you want to kill us?”
“Got a better idea?”
I stared at my brother for a second, watching as he tried to keep the car under control. “Alright,” I said looking forward again.
Ben leaned over the wheel in anticipation as the dead end of the road loomed ahead. A wall of trees rose up in front of us and when we were about ten feet away, Ben yelled “now!” I threw my door open and dove as far away from the car as possible. I was still in the air when it smashed into the trees. My ears filled with the sounds of crunching metal and shattering glass and squealing brakes as the suits tried to avoid the wreck. Instead, they smashed into our car just like Ben had planned. I didn’t move from where I landed until I heard Ben call to me from somewhere in the darkness.
“Come on, J,” he said and I lifted my head to find him crouching on the road. “We need to get out of here.”
My body protested as I slowly, painfully got to my knees and brushed loose gravel off my coat and pants. Porch lights had already begun coming on and a couple people were standing in their doorways trying to see what happened. A groan of metal had me looking back at the wreck and I watched with wide eyes as both suits made their way out of the passenger side door. Time to go.
I scrambled to my feet and Ben and I took off into the woods before anyone could stop us.
“Great plan,” I said out of breath after we were far from the wreck. “Now, not on
ly will the suits be on our butts, the police will be after us now for a hit and run.”
Ben whirled around and got in my face. “At least we aren’t dead,” he snapped narrowing his eyes at me. His close proximity was making my heart pound and I pushed him hard to get some space between us so I could breathe. Ben apparently took it differently and grabbed the front of my shirt, wrenching me toward him. “I seem to be the only one capable of making decisions here, Jack.” He spat my name in my face. “And unless you want to start calling the shots, I suggest you quit questioning everything I say.” I didn’t respond, just stared at my brother and breathed hard through my nose. “Got it?” he asked shaking me.
My stomach was churning. I didn’t like being this close to him. I didn’t like how dark it was or how he was pinching my skin with my shirt. I didn’t like how he was talking to me like I was a child and he was my parent, but I also didn’t think I could control myself if I opened my mouth so I just nodded in response.
He let me go and let out a heavy sigh before walking past me muttering to himself. I only caught a few words but I definitely heard “useless” in there.
That was it.
Without thinking, I sprang forward wrapping my arms around my brother’s waist and the two of us went crashing to the ground. Air rushed out of his lungs as I landed on his back, his gun jabbing into my hip. My anger dulled the pain so I barely felt it.
“Get off me,” Ben growled trying to get his arms free. One wiggled from my grasp and he reached around, gripping the material of my coat and yanking hard.
I was jerked sideways and the side of my face smacked into the dirt. Then Ben was on my chest, crushing my lungs. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t think. I needed to get away. In a panic, I swung a fist blindly and felt it connect with bone. Ben let out a sickening grunt and fell. Immediately, I rolled so I was over him. My fist struck his face over and over again. Once. Twice. Three times before he was able to grab ahold of my shirt and pulled. His forehead slammed into mine and my vision went black. I didn’t even feel my body hit the ground or my brother pin me down on my stomach until my arm wrenched behind my back and my face was in the dirt.
I squirmed and thrashed trying to get him off of me but the more I struggled, the harder Ben squeezed my arm, and more dirt got in my mouth.
“Jack, shut it,” he hissed, spitting blood right next to my ear.
I froze, hearing angry voices getting nearer. Then Ben’s grip on my arm loosened and he was pulling me to my feet. “Go, go, go!”
My vision was still blurry but it helped having Ben’s fingers like claws digging into my arm to pull me behind him. We wove in and out of the trees, the trunks barely visible by the light of distant streetlights, covering the short distance out of the woods and onto a residential road. I was able to pull my arm out of Ben’s hand and catch up so I was running right next to him. Our feet pounded against the pavement and we were only a few houses from the end of the street when the first shot was fired.
Ben veered to the left and I followed close behind, the two of us cutting between a couple houses and into an alley. Other than the sounds of our footsteps on the concrete and our ragged breathing, the night was silent. It wasn’t going to last long though. Those suits weren’t far behind us and we needed to go or hide or something. My eyes skimmed along the houses close to us then settled on a shed. I pointed to it. “There.” And the two of us hurried over and slipped in through the door.
Neither of us moved once we’d made it inside. It was pitch dark and I was afraid my foot might hit something and give away our hiding spot so I stayed still. A few moments later, I heard the sound of footsteps crunching on gravel. They were getting closer. A window was set in the wall just across from me and all I could see was the streetlight, but if I craned my neck I could see the top of the fence across the alley from us. Then a head popped into view.
“We know you’re in there,” the suit said looking at the shed but not at the window.
I shifted uneasily and my brother put his arm out to make me still again. “Ben,” I whispered looking in his direction. He put a finger to his lips, cutting me off. They’d found us. They knew we were here. We were done for. Hailey was done for. The rest of the patients were done for.
I stretched my neck again so I could see the man. My heart started hammering as he walked slowly closer to the shed. Every step he took was like a punch in my gut. My insides boiled and my breath came out in hard, quick puffs of cold air. Slowly the man walked, taking his time like he had the rest of his life to find us. Finally after what seemed like hours, he stopped right in front of us. Right in the window so he took up almost the whole thing. His head blocked out the light from the streetlamp and cast long shadows on both my brother’s and my bodies. I watched as his jacket rustled, I’m assuming, as he pulled out his gun. Then his face tightened and he jerked. A loud metallic sound caused me and Ben to jump, both of us swearing under our breath as the suit kicked over a couple garbage cans against the wall.
They clattered to the ground and the suit stepped back, aiming his gun. Everything was completely silent for a few moments.
“They’re not here,” he finally said angrily and kicked one of the garbage cans again.
“Let’s keep moving then,” the other one sighed. “These two are turning out to be a giant pain in the neck.”
Neither of us moved an inch until the sound of their footsteps faded into the distance. The air rushed out of Ben’s lungs first as he finally let go of the breath he’d been holding. My own lungs ached and I exhaled too, feeling the blood rush out of my head.
“Are they gone?” Ben asked, motioning with his head toward the window.
I craned my neck one more time and looked out at the alley in both directions. It was clear. “Yeah, they’re gone.”
“Good.” Then I was pushed hard in the chest and my back slammed against the wall. “What was that back there?” my brother yelled at me.
I couldn’t catch my breath and my heart was hammering. “You called me useless,” I yelled pushing him back into the shadows. He was swallowed into the blackness. This place was so dark. So small. I could almost feel the walls closing in and my throat started closing in along with them. A weird sound escaped as I tried to inhale.
“Jack?”
“I can’t–” I gasped clutching at my chest. “I can’t breathe.” My throat was closing; my lungs were being squeezed by the room, by the darkness. I couldn’t inhale. My body was shaking so bad, the window showing the alley outside looked like it was vibrating. Something was coiling around my chest like a rope, like a snake constricting. Crushing. Breaking my insides.
“Alright,” Ben whispered. “Alright, Jack. You’re alright. Just try to breathe.”
I wasn’t alright. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe. It was too hot, too small in there. I needed to get out. “Let me out,” I croaked and stumbled toward the door.
Ben stopped me, putting one hand on my chest and the other on my back sandwich style. “No,” he said sternly. “We’re not leaving. Not until you get this under control.”
“What about…Hailey?”
“Nope,” my brother said. “You’re more important.”
I shoved my fingers up into my hair as my breathing quickened even more. “You can’t. You can’t think like that,” I gasped squeezing my eyes shut.
“I have to think like that.”
I tried to inhale and choked on my own spit as it filled my mouth. I was going to throw up, or pass out, or die. “Let me out!”
“No! Just focus on breathing. You’re alright, Jack. Just calm down.”
I could feel the rope around my chest tightening. Tighter. Tighter until my head felt too light and my knees buckled under me. I would have crashed to the floor if Ben wasn’t holding on. He guided me onto the floor and I crumpled, resting my head against the cold cement. My breaths were still shallow and fast, sweat slicked my head and under my arms and my heart was pounding lik
e a jackhammer against my ribcage and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe. The darkness was too thick. Like someone was holding cloth over my face and pressing.
“Calm down, Jack,” Ben repeated with his hand on my shoulder. “You’ve had panic attacks before.”
“Not like this,” I gasped clutching at the back of my neck.
“Well, what do you normally do?”
I shook my head, grinding my forehead into the ground. “I don’t know,” I cried and ripped my hands through my hair. “I can’t think.”
A car drove past the window and I looked up as it illuminated the inside of the shed for a second. Looking at the walls, the angles were alarming. They seemed to be toppling slowly inward. “It’s just so hard to breathe,” I whispered. My chest was heaving. The walls were pressing against me, smothering me in the center of this airless room. I pushed back against the wall but my hands were shaking and I had no strength. I needed to breathe. Ben needed to get out of my way. I needed to go.
I staggered onto my knees and pushed Ben with all the strength I could muster up. My breathing was still haggard and I was so dizzy, I barely moved him. Instead he grabbed my shoulders and shook me. “Look at me, J,” he commanded. I squinted hard, trying to focus on my brother’s silhouette. “Okay, think of a happy memory.”
I let my head fall forward as a wave of nausea hit me. “Like what?” I gagged trying to swallow it down.
Ben sighed heavily as he tried to think. “What about that one Christmas we got that dog? No, he died like three months later, didn’t he?”
“Not helping!” I cracked and slipped back down onto my hands. How had my heart not exploded yet?
“Alright, alright. Remember when Dad taught us how to ride our bikes?” Our dad who had disappeared with nothing but a crumpled letter to remember him by. “Jack, do you remember?”
“Yeah,” I gasped between breaths. “Yeah, I remember.”
“What happened?” he continued. The tightening in my chest was making it hard to think. My head felt like it was the size of a basketball and getting bigger. “Think,” Ben ordered, his voice right next to my ear. I squeezed my burning eyelids shut as I tried to bring the memory to the front of my aching brain. “What do you remember?”