He stands up, pulls out his wallet, and throws a wad of hundreds on the table before pulling my chair out. “Your wish is my command, milady.”
Using my best model walk, I head to the elevator, hoping that I look sexy rather than like a complete idiot. He stands behind me as we wait, kisses my neck, and whispers, “Have I mentioned how amazing your legs look?”
I had been wondering if he’d noticed.
“Now, should I fuck you in the lift? Hmmm?” His hand snakes around and reaches up my skirt, going straight to my sex, “Still wet.” He pulls his hand away and licks his finger.
The elevator doors open with a ding. I’ve never had sex in an elevator. What if someone else comes in? When the doors close, he pushes me against the wall and kisses me hard, pushing his body against mine. His hand goes back up my dress and tears my panties off. I’m prepared for him to take me here and now when he backs away and says, “A lift ride is far too short for what I’ve planned for you.” He turns around and straightens his tie as though everything is perfectly normal.
I lean against the wall, desperately trying to catch my breath, completely frazzled by what has just happened.
He pushes my torn panties into his pocket as I hear a ding, and the doors open to a crowd of people. He grabs my hand and guides me through the mob.
He calls a cab, and we sit in tension-filled silence all the way back to the hotel. I can’t even find words to make idle chitchat. I attempt to pull myself together and try desperately to look as poised and calm as Gavin does. It feels as though I have “just been naughty” written on my forehead.
He strolls through the hotel so confidently and with such a refined grace that I actually get distracted watching him. He wears a charcoal grey suit that must be tailor-made because it fits him perfectly. The lines of the suit highlight his toned physique. His commanding strides and that sparkling smile make him seem inhumanly perfect. He’s practically a walking Ken doll. Except, of course, he has all his well-endowed male parts. I still can’t quite believe I’m the one who’s here with him.
He looks over his shoulder and catches me staring. Gavin grabs my hand and pulls me to him. He kisses me with so much fire it feels like a last kiss. When the elevator dings, he doesn’t break away, but rather picks me up and carries me onto the car. I hear a round of applause break out behind us in the lobby. I erupt into laughter, and he looks down at me, quirking an eyebrow as though I’ve gone crazy.
“How long ‘til that’s on TMZ? They won’t recognize it’s me. Every other shot they have of me I’m a disaster, unshowered, and wearing something from the FBI closet.”
“I told you. I give fuck all about the tabloids. I have one thing in mind, and the rest of the world can implode for all I care.”
We kiss all the way back to our room. Somehow, he manages to unlock the door and open it without breaking our kiss. Once the door closes, he becomes primal, as though he’s been holding it all back while in public and now it’s time to unleash the beast. His jacket, shirt and tie seem to fly off. He tugs at my dress, and I fear he’s going to tear it off me when he stops.
“I like this one, and don’t want to rip it to shreds. I’d like to see it again.” He slowly slides it off me. Once it’s put safely on a chair, he returns to me while unbuckling his belt. In one swift motion, his pants are down, and the next thing I know, he’s thrusting into me.
For having gone a few weeks without sex, Gavin has amazing endurance. He picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He pounds into me against the wall until we think we hear it crack behind me. He then lays me down on the table, pushing deeply into me as he licks my nipples. As he expertly maneuvers us into position after position, each creates more pleasure than the last.
I’m spread-eagle on the table as Gavin kisses his way down my stomach. His tongue finds my clit, and I scream his name. The time for slow and seductive has passed. Raw, carnal desire overtakes me. I greedily fuck his mouth ‘til I come hard. He flips me around and comes at me from behind, burying himself deep inside me. His cock hits that magic spot as he thrusts, and I come again. I scream his name so loudly I think all of Boston must be able to hear me.
Finally, he carries me to the bed and places me softly on it. Gavin sweetly kisses all over my body until his mouth finds me again. I can’t imagine it’s possible to come again. My body is already so sensitive, but he kisses me softly, using his finger to gently play with my clit.
At first, I’m too sensitive. One touch and an intense jolt shoots through me, more pain than pleasure. I squeeze my legs closed, but he gently pushes them back open. “Trust me,” he says before kissing me. My body is on overload, every muscle is tense. He gently traces a lazy pattern along my thigh, “Relax,” he whispers.
After a few moments, my muscles soften and my legs fall open. He runs a fingertip down my leg, from my ankle to my core. He grazes my clit. I’m still sensitive, but I don’t push him away. The sensitivity turns to desire, and I want nothing more than to come. I gyrate my hips in rhythm with his fingers. I’m moments from falling apart when Gavin turns me to lie on my side. He lies behind me and pushes himself deep inside me. His hand reaches around and touches me, resuming my nearing orgasm. He feels so good inside me that I don’t want it to end, but yet I’m desperate to come. One last hard thrust pushes us both over the edge.
My body is spent. Every muscle pushed beyond the brink of exhaustion. Every nerve feels blissfully numb. My brain is in a euphoric haze. Fucking Gavin gets me higher than any drug, and is far more addictive.
When I catch my breath, I look over at him and say, “So, you like the dress?” We both laugh, spent, and slowly surrender to sleep.
When I wake up at three o’clock in the morning, I’m starving. Thinking back, I realize I never got to eat dinner. So, I sneak out of the bedroom to the living room to order room service. While I’m ordering, Gavin stumbles out, arching his back in a big yawn.
I hang up the phone. “I’m sorry. I tried to be quiet.”
He wipes the sleep from his eyes. “Lily, stealth is not in your skill set. Plus, it’s nine in the morning London time, so I’m a bit jumbled anyhow. Did you—?”
“Order ice cream? Yes. And yes, there’s enough to share. I kind of went on an ordering spree. We have a munchie smorgasbord coming. ”
“That’s why you’re aces.” He scoops me up in his arms. “Back to bed with you, luv.”
We spend the next few hours talking and catching up on all the things we haven’t had time to share on the phone. These casual moments with him, when we’re both relaxed and enjoying being with each other, are even better than sex—I know it’s a bold statement considering how good the sex is, but it’s true. These quiet moments spent together have reminded me why the pain of the long distance is worth it.
Before we know it, the sun starts to come up, and we know the countdown to takeoff has begun. We’re both tired but don’t go back to sleep. As we lie there, it occurs to me I haven’t told him the biggest news.
“Hey, guess what! I’m now the proud owner of a two-bedroom-plus-a-den condo in DuPont Circle.” Gavin doesn’t respond, which I find strange. His silence makes me feel uncomfortable, so I ramble on, trying to fill the quiet. “Max says he isn’t moving in, but he totally is. It has twenty-four hour security and a pool in the building. Not as nice as Mer’s or The Four Seasons, but nice enough. Greene and Sully give it their approval.”
He looks at me through narrowed eyes, seeming confused and maybe slightly irritated. “You’ve done what?”
“I… bought a condo,” I stammer. “I had to do something. Mer’s moving out in two days. It didn’t make sense to rent. Rentals are so expensive in the city it’s like throwing money away. I finally got the money from the sale of the land, so I bought something.”
He seems deeply unsettled by this, but I can’t understand why.
“I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up sooner,” I say, trying to smooth things over. “We haven’t spoken very often i
n the last few weeks, and it all happened so fast. I just signed the papers before I came up here.”
His face turns red, and he bites his lip—not in a sexy way.
“Hey, Oxford. You want to tell me what is cooking in that pretty head of yours? You don’t look like you’re thinking about what to get me for a housewarming gift.”
He throws the covers back and stands. “Nothing’s wrong. I’ve got to shower.” He walks away, leaving me dumbfounded.
Should I follow him and push the subject? Should I let it go? I choose to get dressed, as there’s nothing quite as humiliating as being naked with someone who’s pissed at you.
He returns from the bathroom dressed in his suit, looking painfully handsome. He busies himself but doesn’t look as though he is really accomplishing anything. Just a lot of crashing and banging.
“Gavin,” I say as sweetly as possible, hoping to hide my annoyance at his childish behavior. “Clearly something’s bothering you. You’re pouting like a teenage girl. Can we talk about whatever’s bothering you? Please. I don’t know when the next time I’ll be able to see you is. Please don’t leave like this.”
He slams a few more things around and then finally says, “You’ll never come to London, will you?”
Whoa, holy outta left field Batman! I stare at him, hoping an explanation might scroll across his forehead like the ticker at the bottom of the screen on the news channels. “What are you talking about?”
He puts his hands on his hips, looking down at me. Damn, he’s intimidating when he’s angry. Those glacial blue eyes bore into me as though trying to capture my heart, holding it in a vice until he decides what to do with me. “Have you thought about it? Have you considered coming to London?”
I should have expected this reaction, but I didn’t. It never even crossed my mind. Disappointed in myself for not anticipating how the news would affect him, I avoid his gaze. “I told you. I need time to—”
His terrifying glare is unrelenting. His arms flail as he speaks, driving home just how angry he is. “Not now. I mean ever. Is that ever something you think you’ll do? Although, with everything going on, now does seem like the rational choice. But let’s put that aside because why would we ever want to do anything rational? Is coming to London something you will consider doing?”
“I know that’s where you need to be. I know that if I want to be with you, that’s where I will need to be. Beyond that, I don’t know. I don’t have a date in mind or anything. I’m just living one moment at a time.”
“Lily, I don’t think you have any intention of moving to London. I’m beginning to doubt if you’ll even come for holiday.”
Tired of feeling bullied, I stand, ready to go toe-to-toe. I will not let him think he can bully me. “Why the sudden need for an answer now? What happened to not pressuring me?”
“I don’t want to pressure you. But I can’t be blind and deaf either. I don’t think you’ll ever move, and I can’t leave. This relationship is a train wreck of heartache waiting to happen.” He turns his back on me and walks toward the window.
My stomach churns as I feel him pulling away. “I can barely think about tomorrow, let alone the future. I still have people after me. I-”
Gavin spins, the exasperation is written all over his face. He shouts at me, “You wouldn’t if you came to London! I can keep you safe. For Christ’s sake, I own a goddamned defense company. My house’s a bloody fortress. Fuck, Lil. I’ll pay the damn debt myself if it puts an end to this.”
I shout back louder than I should. “I’d spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. That’s not a life! I won’t do it. I need to see this through ‘til the end.”
“Define ‘the end’,” he demands. “When they kill you? That’s what you’re hanging around for? And you expect me to just sit here and watch it happen? If you think I’m going to stand by and watch that happen, you don’t know me very well.”
I throw my hands in the air. “If you think I’ll be bullied into abandoning something that’s important to me, you don’t know me very well!” I bark back.
He lowers his voice dramatically. “What about us, Lil? Are we important to you? Will you see us to the end?”
“I don’t want us to end,” I say just above a whisper.
He folds his arms across his chest. “Then we have to be allowed to start. That can’t happen with an ocean between us.”
We stare at each other from across the room, the tension palpable. The room phone rings, and our connection breaks when he turns to answer it.
“My car’s here. I must catch my flight,” he says, replacing the receiver. “I’m sorry we spent our last few moments having a row, but you really need to think about this. I’m sorry the entire burden is on you, but I cannot leave London. I have tens of thousands of people who count on me. You need to give some thought to what being together will actually mean. I’m too emotionally invested in this to keep going if there’s no hope.” He gives me a hard, angry kiss and then leaves, slamming the door behind him.
What the fuck just happened?
Twenty-Two
I have the room until late checkout at four, but I’m so hurt and angry with Gavin that I may just take up residence and have the hotel send him the bill. I call down to room service and order up a bottle of Dom and some orange juice. It’s a shame to waste good champagne on a mimosa, but that’s just the sort of spiteful mood I’m in. It’ll go perfectly with the eggs Benedict with the added caviar I ordered. To cap off the spending spree, I order a pay-per-view movie I have no intention of actually watching and crash on the bed. He’s always wanting to pay for things. Well, here you go, Gavin! I hope you get the bill and choke on it.
Replaying the morning in my head, I can’t figure out where we went off track. The night and the early morning had been exceptional. The perfect balance of sex and sweetness. Then out of nowhere, it all went to hell.
If I’d thought about it, I should’ve seen it coming. I know that any future between us will have to be in London. I’m not against that at all. I’m actually excited about it. The thought of starting over, somewhere fresh, is exciting, but I’m just not ready.
This isn’t the first time I’ve had to start over. When my parents died, when I went to college, when I moved to DC—each time, I was dependent on others for my survival. I had to be what they expected me to be. This is the first time the thing I have to be is me. Now, I just have to remember who that is. If I jump into moving to London, I’ll morph into who I think Gavin wants me to be. It won’t be a conscious choice; it’ll just happen. I hope to hell I don’t lose him, but if I don’t take this time for myself, I know I’ll lose me. I won’t go through that again. Not for him, not for anyone.
Perhaps I should plan a trip across the pond, though. Maybe that’s all he’s been waiting for. I’ve shot the idea down every time he’s offered without even considering it. It might salvage our relationship if I just pick a day and tell him I’m coming—if he still wants me to, that is. Right now, I have no idea where things stand.
The early morning mimosa and emotional brain scramble give me a headache, heartache, and heartburn. The bathtub calls out to me. After filling the mini-pool up with bubbles, I just sit and soak. An hour later, I wake up to a pounding on the door. I listen for a moment. The banging continues, and I think I hear the doorknob rattle. The oxygen is instantly sucked out of my lungs when I realize I haven’t set the security latch.
What if Max was wrong? Maybe the men from the cartel have been sitting here waiting for Gavin to leave so they can pounce…
Shrugging into my robe, I tiptoe to the door with my back to the wall. The pounding finally stops, and I breathe a sigh of relief, until I hear what sounds like someone trying to use a key. Maybe it’s some jackass trying to get into the wrong room. Or maybe it’s a psycho killer here for my head. I know I should hide, but I can’t. I have to know who’s there. I look through the peephole just as the door flies open, smacking me right in the nose. Bloo
d squirts everywhere, and I see stars.
“Bloody hell! What have I done?” says a voice that sounds very much like that of the man who’s supposed to be on a plane right now.
I pull up the bottom of my robe and hold it to my nose as I stumble toward the sofa and sit down. “Gavin? What the fuck?”
“I’m so sorry, luv. Just stay right there.” I hear him scurrying around. When he returns, he pulls my robe back, and blood gushes down my face. He presses a cold towel packed with ice to my nose. “I couldn’t get on the plane,” he says, cleaning the blood off my face. “I couldn’t leave like that.”
I wince when he touches a tender spot. “Well, isn’t that peachy? Now you get to take me to the ER! Lucky me!”
He continues to clean, even when I pull away. “This isn’t quite how I thought this would go,” he replies.
“You broke my heart. You didn’t think breaking my nose would be the icing on the cake?”
“I deserve that,” he replies with a sigh. “I was being a prat. I couldn’t leave without saying I’m sorry. My plan was to give you a good rogering until you forgot all about my temper tantrum. I hear multiple orgasms can cause memory loss.”
I fold my arms across my chest and try to look as angry as is possible with an ice pack on my face. “Well, clearly that isn’t on the agenda any longer.”
“Can I take a look at it?” he pleads. “Please. I actually know quite a bit about broken bones.”
“Really, where’d you learn that? Did they give bone structure training on the set of a Calvin Klein shoot?”
“Cheeky monkey,” he says under his breath. “You know I was a medic in the military and completed three years of my physician’s training, smartass. Are you going to let me look or aren’t you?”
I slowly pull the towel away to let him look. “That’s right. I forgot.”
“Look, I’m sorry for the way I reacted. I’d like to blame it on how little sleep I’ve gotten this week and how thinly stretched I am, but there really isn’t an appropriate excuse. I overreacted. I should never have behaved that way.” He sits down beside me to get a better look.
When Fates Collide Page 23