She wakes up again around three in the morning. “Why’re you still awake?”
“I can’t stop staring at you.”
“Well, I am sporting this season’s hot trend, the bruised and battered look. Cuts and contusions are very hot right now. Or maybe it’s just the fact that I haven’t showered in like a month.”
“You’re always stunning. It’s impossible for you not to look gorgeous,” I tell her.
“Says the Calvin Klein model who still manages to look like he just walked off a runway while in the hospital. How do you do that? This lighting makes everyone look bad. Except you, apparently!”
“Em made me leave the room for an hour every day to get some fresh air and shower and change. While I was gone, she filed your nails, exfoliated you, and did all sorts of other girly things.”
She runs her fingers along her lower leg. “My skin is ridiculously smooth. I was wondering about that.”
“I’m anxious to get you out of here so I can find out for myself!” I expect a witty comment back, but Lily just looks at me somberly.
“So, what happens next, Gavin?”
“Lil, do you really want to talk about this now? I mean, I will. I just thought you’d want to wait.”
“I do want to wait. But I think we need to.”
I take a deep breath, “Okay, do you want to start or should I?”
“Did you sleep with all of those women?”
I shake my head. “I didn’t sleep with any of those women. There were so many events scheduled on this trip. Since I was traveling solo, I was constantly being asked to escort someone to that evening’s event or this partner’s dinner party. Seemed like there was an endless supply of executives’ daughters and nieces who were just dying to meet me. It was insanity. I had women latching on to me at every opportunity. I couldn’t get a moment’s peace. I felt like I was on that show where there’s the one chap and the parade of batty women.”
“The Bachelor? Is this supposed to be making me feel better, because it’s not.”
I grab her hand and kiss the top of it. “I’m sorry, luv. What I’m trying to say is that, yes, there were lots of women on the trip that I had to be around for business. But that’s all it was: business. I was miserable the whole time.”
“Is that why you wanted me to come on the trip so badly? So you wouldn’t be compelled to have dinner with all the lonely hearts?”
I thread my fingers through hers. “No, Lily. I wanted you on the trip because I wanted to experience it with you. For so many years, you’ve been isolated, alone. It’s a travesty that you lost so many years, so much wasted time. You deserve better than that. I never want you to have to live like that again. I want to give you the world, one blessed memory at a time.”
Tears well up in her eyes.
“Don’t cry, luv. My intentions weren’t all sweet. I’m also a selfish bastard, and I just want you with me all the time.”
“If that’s true, why didn’t I hear from you? I called and left messages. And what the hell was up with your phone?”
I tell her all about O’s meddling, and she’s fuming by the end.
“Lil, I can’t stop thinking that if I had gotten those messages, I could have been there for you. I never would’ve left you alone if I had known how dangerous things had become. I could have prevented all of this.”
“I spoke to her. Did she tell you?” Lily asks.
“No, I had no idea.” I know I shouldn’t be surprised by anything O has done at this point, but I still am. “I had no idea you had called my office. I never spoke to Mrs. Smythe. O handled everything.”
“After you sent the flowers, I spoke to Marcus to find out where you were. I called and spoke to her. She’s a raving bitch! Let me guess, she’s the one that was in most of those pictures with you.”
“Yes. She was a part of my team, so we were together the whole time. Along with a group of twelve other people.”
“I could tell when I spoke to her she was up to something.” Lily’s face is flushed, and she has fire in her eyes.
“Luv, you’re getting all worked up. You have to calm down, okay. Please. I’ve fired her. Security dragged her out of the building. I never have to see her again.”
She lays back and closes her eyes. “You’re right. I think we’ve rehashed enough for tonight.”
“Are you okay?” I ask. Are we okay?
She smiles. “I’m better than okay. My psycho stalker is gone. You aren’t sleeping with half of Europe. For the first time in weeks, I can actually relax. Life is good.”
She pulls my hand up next to her face. Moments later, she’s fast asleep.
Thirty-Six
Lily
I finally get to check out of here. If I thought I had to stay one more day in this fishbowl, I might slaughter the next person that asks me “how we’re doing today.” There ain’t nothing “we” about this crap. I’ve never been so excited to put clothes on in my life! My skin has started rebelling against the scratchy hospital gown. But Em has been kind enough to bring me yoga pants and my Oxford sweatshirt. Heaven!
Five days of observation after my return to consciousness, McDreamy feels it’s safe for me to blow this pop stand. He’s ready to have his hospital back as well. Between Gavin, my FBI boys, all the protective custody people, and all of the extra “staff members” that are really plants from Lorenzo or Carlos hanging around, I think the hospital will be at max capacity as long as I hang around.
I’m more than ready to get Gavin out of here too. I can tell he’s carrying around a mound of guilt, and it’s clearly sucking the life out of him. Sometimes, he seems fine, but if he has too much time to think or if anything at all reminds him of the past month, he goes to a dark place. I hope that once we get out of the hospital, a constant reminder of what happened in itself, he’ll let it go.
“Ms. Clark, make sure you follow up with your cardiologist in two weeks and then once every three months after that. You need to do everything in your power to keep your heart rate low. Get plenty of rest, drink tons of water, no caffeine. Alcohol is okay in small doses. Limit your activity. And that means all kinds of activity,” McDreamy says, looking over at Gavin, who’s waiting for me by the nurses station. “You may be better, but it won’t take much to put you back here.”
I hold a hand to my chest, feigning shock. “What? You don’t want me to come back?”
“I never want my patients to be repeat customers, Ms. Clark. But you especially.”
I tap my finger on my chin. “I’m not sure if that was an insult or a compliment.”
“Don’t overthink it. Just take care of yourself. Now, get the hell out of here,” he says with a laugh.
“The British invasion has finally come to an end. You get your flock of ladies back.” I hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek. “Later, McDreamy.”
I find Gavin sitting in a chair by the nurses’ station. Sometimes I forget how stunning he is. His blond hair is messy and yet perfect at the same time. He manages not to have even the slightest hint of a dark circle under his eyes, despite the lack of sleep. And that smile. Oh, that smile could melt the polar ice caps. He may single handedly be responsible for global warming. He finally catches sight of me, and I get to see those sapphire pools that make me melt.
Three nurses at the desk are falling over themselves trying to get his attention, but they don’t manage more than a polite smile out of him. He only has eyes for me. I love getting the opportunity to break up “flirt with Gavin” time. I walk up to him and sit right in his lap. “Mr. Edwards, would you please do me the honor of getting me the hell out of here?”
He smirks at me and scoops me up, giving me the kiss to end all kisses. I’m sure I can hear the whole floor stop to stare at the spectacle he’s making. He does like to make a scene. I’m not sure if the show is meant to piss of McDreamy or if he just wants to leave all his admirers something to remember him by. Or maybe he’s just really missed me. Either way, I know I’m not th
e only one that could use a change of panties after that kiss.
“Sorry, luv. I’ve been waiting to do that for a long time.”
“You are such a show off.”
“No, luv. That was entirely for my benefit. In fact, I think I’ll do it again.” I was wrong. This is the kiss to top all other kisses.
I hear McDreamy yell, “I said all activity, Ms. Clark!”
“Will you two get a room? My God!” Em shouts at us. “You’re lucky I love you, Lily, because for over two weeks, I’ve had to put up with him and his wrecked state. And now all this kissy face? I wouldn’t tolerate this for just anyone, you know.”
She won’t admit it, but I know Em’s been the glue that has held everyone together. She made sure the boys ate and occasionally showered. She claims it was all for her benefit, that she didn’t want to smell them any more than she had to, but there’s a nurturer underneath that hard façade she puts up. I’m so glad she’s here.
“Time to jet. I can’t deal with these fluorescent lights for another second,” she states. She blows a kiss to McDreamy. “Later, Doc.” She says there’s something going on between them, but I think it’s just to piss Max off. It works, and Max storms off, mumbling something about getting the car.
When we’re finally ready to leave, several agents escort us to a back entrance to the hospital. It sounds like the press has been an ongoing parasite the whole time I’ve been here. I had blissfully forgotten all about the press during my stay, but that daydream has come to an end. Reality is such a cruel bitch.
Max picks us up in a souped-up FBI Suburban with pitch-black tinted windows and flashy rims. I feel like I need to have released a hip hop album to be worthy of such a ride, but I’ll take it. The ride home is weird and toxic with tension. No one knows what to say or how to act now, and it’s beyond frustrating. Em tries desperately to spark a casual conversation and fails miserably, which only draws attention to how strange everything feels.
We arrive at the condo to find the press camped out at the building as well. Max says they haven’t left in weeks. We park in the underground garage, but a few reporters still manage to chase us down there. Between the press and the awkward tension, I finally snap once we’re in the elevator.
“Enough, boys. I’m not dead. I’m not broken. What I am is pissed off that you are both acting so weird. Get over your guilt and do it quick.”
“Thank you, Lily,” Em says with an exaggerated sigh as we enter the condo. “I’ve been dealing with your broody butts long enough. Granted, you both look sexy as hell while you’re doing it, but real life is not a cologne ad. Broody gets old real fast. Lily’s alive! She has gone through hell and back and come out in one piece. She’s free of Cocksucker forever! Can we please start to celebrate that? I think this calls for tequila!”
“You think everything calls for tequila,” Max and I both say at the same time.
“Really, boys, I need you to snap out of it. You both have jobs to do,” I inform them.
“Jobs?” Max asks.
“Yes. Max, you’re going to run out and buy me french fries, onion rings, two milkshakes, and a big-ass burger. All that is for me and only me. If you want something, order your own, because I’m not sharing. Gavin, you’re going to help me pack.”
“Pack?” they ask in unison.
“I used to know two highly articulate men. Now I have parrots. Yes, pack. Do either of you think I’m going to stay here one more day with all this madness? Hell no! I’m getting on a plane to London tomorrow morning.”
Max smiles and goes to order my take out. Gavin just looks at me, confused.
“All right. Hop to it. I’m going to take the longest shower of my life and try to scrub this hospital stink off me!”
When I get out of the shower, Gavin’s waiting in my room.
“Why are you going to London?” he asks.
“Because I hear it’s lovely this time of year,” I say sarcastically. “Why the hell do you think I would go to London? I clearly can’t stay here. Being in the US has proven to be detrimental to my life expectancy.”
“Thank God you’re finally getting with the program, Lil,” Em says, appearing in the doorway. “And G, don’t even think about helping her pack. This’s my department. You just sit there and look pretty.” She heads back out to the kitchen to criticize Max’s choice of food—to give us some space, I suppose.
“It’s time for a change of scenery,” I explain. “You Brits are supposed to be more genteel, right? I’m hoping that means fewer people will try to kill me on a regular basis there.”
“When did you decide this?”
“After the last time we spoke. I mean, the last time before all this stuff happened. The whole kidnapping and coma thing has really sealed the deal though. You don’t seem excited about this at all. Have you rescinded your invitation? Given away my side of the bed?”
He runs his fingers through his hair and sighs in what I guess is frustration, confusion, or tension. Maybe a combination of the three. “No, of course not. It’s all just quite a surprise. This is about the last thing I expected to hear from you. After everything you went through and how you thought I’d just disappeared. You needed me and I wasn’t there for you. Just another example of my drama causing you harm. I thought you would need time.”
He raises good points, but I’m not deterred. Before all of this went down, I’d been crushed by his actions. Or what I’d thought were his actions. But even before he explained to me what had really happened, I’d gotten over it. He was here by my side every day. Each time I wake up and see him beside me, I know where I need to be. But is it was he wants?
“Gavin, do you want me to take time? Are you trying to talk me out of this?”
“No! Not at all. You know there’s nothing I want more than to get you on British soil.”
“It always comes back to England with you!” I roll my eyes at him.
I still haven’t had a chance to fill Gavin in on the actual events that took place. It was far too risky at the hospital. Soon I will tell him, and I hope it’ll snap him out of this funk he’s been in. When he gave me the abridged version of his story, I knew he was struggling. These past few weeks haven’t been easy on him.
I catch him staring off into space. “Penny for your thoughts.”
“I keep thinking about my flight here. I had no idea if I would ever see you again. I’d never been so petrified in all my life.”
“It’s over, Oxford. We’ve got to let go of it.” I kiss him deeply. He still feels as though he’s far away, but my kiss seems to be drawing him back in.
When he pulls away, he says, “I’m trying, luv. I swear I am. Your bruises may be healing, but they’re still there. Every time I look at you, my mind flashes back to all of the horrible things you have been through... how I could have stopped it.”
“Gavin, listen. I’m only going to say this once more: this is not your fault. You could not have stopped it. You have to start being happy that I survived instead of being brokenhearted that it happened.”
The rest of the night is a very quiet one at my condo. The boys stare at the TV while Em helps me pack. I have no idea how long I’ll stay in London, but I’m looking forward to it. It seems as though I’m the only one though. Between the two boys, five words at most may have been said all night, all of them monosyllabic. I can’t imagine how awful it would be if Em weren’t here.
While the boys are lost in a football game, Em hands me a present. She’s made a scrapbook of pictures of Gavin from tabloids from over the last two weeks. There are actually some pictures of him in which he doesn’t look perfect. I can tell they’re from at the hospital. He looks distraught. Broken.
These ‘imperfect’ shots are few and far between. In most of them, he still looks like a supermodel.
“Hey, Oxford! You’re pretty sexy when you’re brooding,” I tease. Em nailed it. He does look like he’s in a cologne ad!
“Oh, Em,” he yells. “Did you really gi
ve her those rubbish papers you’ve been saving?”
“Sure did! She loves them,” Em says proudly.
I hug her and kiss her cheek. “Em, this is perfect. Just what I needed to make me smile. Thank you for taking care of my boys.”
“Anything for you. I really love Gavin, and well, you know how I feel about Max.”
“No, I actually don’t know how you feel about Max. Do tell...”
She stammers a bit. “Well, if you don’t know, then I’m not telling you.”
I snicker and allow her to change the subject.
I’d been looking forward to quiet time with Gavin after we all went to bed, but I pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow. He’s been treating me like glass since I woke up, and I’m desperate for him to return to normal. I miss him.
His strange behavior continues into the next morning as we pack up to leave. I’d thought he would be happy to be going, but he doesn’t seem like it. He’s so distant.
Em says good-bye to me at the condo. She isn’t one for big emotional airport scenes. I also think she’s had about all she can take from the broody bunch. She’s always looking for an opportunity to go to London though, so I expect I’ll see her again soon.
Max drives us to Dulles giving me the cold shoulder the entire way.
“Max, you going to tell me why you’re upset, or are we going to keep playing this game?”
“I’m just sad you’re leaving so soon. This was really hard on me, on all of us. I just got you back, and you are leaving again.”
“Max, you knew this was my plan.”
“That was before you got snatched.”
“Because I got snatched is why I need to go now more than ever. I need you to get that.”
He’s quiet the rest of the drive. He walks us into the airport looking as though someone has stolen his puppy. When we get to security, I ask him, “You going to flash your badge so you can sulk all the way to the gate, or are we going to part as friends here?”
He scoops me up into a hug so big I can’t breathe and whispers in my ear, “I love you like we’re blood. I’m going to crazy miss you. You’re taking my roommate and one of my best friends, and I hate it. At a time when I have so much to make up to you.”
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