My phone rang. It was Red. It rang again. I couldn’t… I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I couldn’t talk to her until I knew. If I really did that to Sophie… I swallowed back bile. I opened my eyes and sent her to voicemail. If I talked to her, I’d tell her everything. And… I couldn’t handle that. The way she’d look at me… I closed my eyes tight and took deep breaths through my tightening chest. I waited as long as I could before tapping my phone and checking my messages.
The first was just Ethan wondering where I was. I deleted it.
“Hey, Cookie Monster.” Lexie’s voice was cheery and warm. “I just finished my work today, I’ll tell you all about it later. I’m at the dog park to meet Laura and thought it’d be fun if you came out, but… you’re probably doing something. I’ll talk to ya later. Love ya.” I smiled to myself. Hearing Lexie that cheerful made me relax. I hit repeat. Her voice played in my ear again. Lexie. I closed my eyes and listened.
Why was I torturing myself? Between Lexie knowing about Sophie and that stupid fucking agreement, I didn't have a fucking chance. What the hell was I thinking? Yeah, I didn't want the guys dating her, but... I didn't know if I wanted to either. I pulled my phone from my ear, brought up her picture, and grinned. It was a selfie I had taken with her. Her arms were wrapped around my waist as she smiled up at the camera, all that copper hair back in a braid. Her eyes were bright and full of laughter. She had come out to give me a ride home from the skate park. I didn't even ask, she just knew that Ethan had the car and surprised me. We'd spent a couple of hours talking and goofing around before we headed home. That had been a good day.
It was a lie.
My grin faded.
She's just pretending. She spoke to Sophie; she knows what you did.
My chest ached deeply. It's true. There was no way she would ever... she deserved so much better than an asshole like me.
Unable to stop myself, I played her message again and held it to my ear as my eyes burned. "Hey, Cookie Monster..."
Lexie
I hung up my phone and looked around the almost empty park. It was a weekday, so it wasn’t packed, but I still couldn’t find Laura. Did I get stood up? I walked Hades around the park and kept an eye out.
Half an hour later, I still couldn’t find her. Finally giving up, we headed toward the parking lot. We were halfway down the path when Brooklyn came into sight. Great.
Her blue eyes spotted me and grew wide. She had a small dog that reminded me, oddly, of an Ewok - white with brown markings and cute as hell.
When I got within speaking distance I said, “Hi.”
She gave me a nervous smile. “Hey.” Her eyes moved to Hades. “Big dog. “
“Yeah, he is.” I gestured to hers. “Yours is cute as hell.”
“Thanks. His name is Yoda,” she offered, relaxing a bit.
I smiled. “I was just thinking that he reminded me of an Ewok.”
She chuckled a bit. Then she seemed to decide something. “Can we talk?”
What? She wanted to talk? “Um, sure,” I said, not knowing what to expect. We started walking back into the park. When she didn’t say anything, I tried to get the conversation started. “So… what did you want to talk about?”
“The band,” she admitted. “I… I know how good you were before your voice got messed up.”
I nodded.
She swallowed hard. “I-I guess… I want to know if you’re going to come back to the band?”
“I can’t,” I admitted. “My throat took too much damage. I don’t have the voice anymore.”
“Are you sure?” she asked uncertainly.
I figured it out. “You think you’re just a stand-in, right?”
Her cheeks turned pink. “Um, well, yeah. I mean, I like the band and want to stay, but… I don’t want to get so into it that if you come back…”
“You don’t have to worry about that,” I told her. “It’s not going to happen.”
She nodded.
“Brooklyn, Ethan picked you because you’re good. Your voice harmonizes with his and Ryan’s. You’re not a placeholder,” I told her. “You’re a band member for as long as you want to be.”
Her eyes met mine. “You think?”
I smiled. “I know Ethan, and Ryan and Oliver. They were looking for someone for the long haul.”
She nodded, her eyes misty. “Thanks, Lexie.”
“No problem.” We walked and continued talking for a while. Turned out she was actually pretty nice. She had two older brothers who drove her crazy, and a mother who wouldn't get off her case about her hair. By the time I left, we had exchanged phone numbers.
* * *
I pulled up in front of Rory’s house behind Zeke’s Jeep. What was Zeke doing here? I thought he was busy today. I got out, closely followed by Hades. He was scratching on the door before I even reached the lawn.
The front door opened. Hades jumped on Zeke and went into crazy-happy-tail-wagging mode. He moved into the house and out of the doorway. I hurried into the air-conditioned heaven and closed the door behind me. Zeke was on his knees, playing with Hades as he went nuts. He grinned as he played.
“How was your first day?” he asked as Hades chewed on his hand.
“Good, the artists were awesome, except one but apparently he gets grumpy when he gets interrupted.” I said as Hades finally started to calm down. I dropped onto the couch. “So, what’s going on? You usually never show up unless I’m here.” He’d been trying to avoid Tara for months now.
He looked up at me, his shoulders tense and his face hard. “I need a favor.”
I raised an eyebrow.
* * *
I was biting back a smile as Zeke walked into the department store at the mall with me. He had cursed under his breath the entire drive here. Since he had grown two inches, his shirts were now too short and were annoying the hell out of him, not to mention they were tight in the shoulders now, too. And from the bitching I was hearing, he hated shopping. I resisted the urge to rub my hands together in joy. This was going to be fun. Zeke led me to the big-and-tall section of the store.
“So, are we just getting shirts?” I asked as he moved through the racks of clothes.
“Yeah,” he grumbled. I sighed. He stopped at a wall of shirts. He gestured at the wall. “Which are the black ones?”
I smiled to myself before pointing to the row. “Right there.” He started going through the shirts. “Do you know what size you need now?”
“Probably just a size up. Two-XLT,” he growled. He really didn’t like this. Naturally, I had to poke.
“You should try a shirt on just to make sure,” I told him. He shot me a look over his shoulder. “What? Do you want to come back and return them simply because you didn’t take five minutes to try it on?”
He scowled at me before turning back to the wall. He picked out one shirt then turned. “Fine.” He started away from the wall. I moved quickly and grabbed a dark blue V-neck and hurried after him, fighting back a laugh. I caught him before he reached the dressing rooms.
“Wait, try this one.” I held it out to him with a straight face.
He scowled at me. “Why?”
“Because you grabbed a crew neck and I’ve noticed you pulling at your neckline lately,” I explained in a rush. It was true but, well, I wanted to fuck with him and make Sylvie's week.
He grumbled as he took the shirt and headed in. I stood at the doorway that led to the fitting rooms and pulled out my phone. “Come out when you try it on.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?” he snapped.
I smiled and pulled an excuse out of my ass. “Well, if you don’t lift your arms, you won’t be able to tell if it’s too short. I can make sure.” I brought up the camera on my phone. If he came out, I only had a few seconds to take the pic before he killed me.
It only took a minute or so for him to come out in the dark-blue V-neck. My breath stopped. The dark-blue shirt that hugged his muscles brought out his eyes even mo
re. Oh… fuck… My heart raced, my body tingled.
He fingered the collar. “You were right about the crew neck.” His voice brought me back to the mission at hand.
I held up the camera. “Zeke.” He lifted his head to look at me. I snapped the pic fast.
His brow came down, his shoulders grew tense. Oh, he was pissed. “What the fuck are you doing?”
I started snickering as I quickly sent the pic to Sylvie. “Nothing, just… um.” I dissolved into laughter as I hit send.
Zeke stalked towards me. “Lexie.” I backed up and darted down the hall of empty dressing rooms. “Give me the phone.”
I was laughing so much that, when I reached the mirrors at the dead end of the dressing room, I was breathless. I turned around and tried to breathe.
His face was hard as he moved towards me. “Who did you send it to?” He demanded as he got closer.
I snorted and planned my escape. He finally got within arm’s reach. I darted left, jumping over the arm of a couch and trying to hurry past him.
Zeke's hand grabbed my arm, stopping me. “Give me the phone.” He held me steady on the couch as he reached to take my phone from me. I dropped it out of his reach and he tried again.
“Nope!” I stuffed the phone into my bra as I kept smiling up at him.
He stopped trying to grab it. “I will go after it,” he warned.
I burst out laughing. “No you won’t. You’re a terrible liar.”
He narrowed his eyes at me.
I snickered.
“What did you do with the pic?” he asked.
I gave him a big smile. “I sent it to Sylvie.”
He cursed. I chuckled. My footing on the cushions shifted. He reached out and steadied me without a thought.
“Who else did you send it to?” he demanded as he kept me from falling.
“No one,” I admitted. I was still smiling at him when he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It looked like he was searching for patience. “I just wanted to make Sylvie’s day.”
Those ice-blue eyes opened and met mine. My heart skipped as I held his gaze. His grip on my arms eased.
“Are you really mad about the picture?” I asked, my voice quiet.
“Gonna delete it?” he asked in that deep, quiet voice he used with me every once in a while. Chills ran down my spine - in a good way.
“Do I have to?” I grinned up at him, hoping he’d say no.
“Yeah,” he growled. Then he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. “Please get rid of it.”
My curiosity piqued. "Why have you been saying please so much?"
He sighed. "It's my homework for the week."
I grinned. "Really?"
"Yeah." He gritted his teeth as his grip softened. "I... know I can be a controlling asshole. So... I'm trying not to be a controlling asshole and order you around."
I looked him in the eye and said in a matter of fact voice, "It's not like I usually listen anyway."
He glared at me with his jaw clenched. "I'm aware."
I gave him a big smile.
"Now, delete the pic, please,” he asked again, his voice strained.
“Zeke, come on,” I tried again. “It’ll make my day.”
“Fuck no,” he snapped.
Giving up, I sighed and reached into my shirt. I pulled my phone out of my bra and handed it to him. “Here. Delete it. Grumpy pants.” He took it from me as I stepped down onto the floor and headed to the front of the dressing room. If he didn’t trust me with it then it was okay, but I thought he knew me better than that. It was just a joke anyway.
Eventually, he followed me to the doorway and handed me my phone before going back into his dressing room, all but slamming the door behind him. I tapped my phone and started looking through my stuff, wondering if Zeke might have gotten some revenge. I was almost done when I found the picture of Zeke in the blue shirt. I blinked. I thought… under the photo was a caption.
If one of the guys gets this, you’re dead. -Z
I smiled to myself. He let me keep the pic.
In the end, Zeke ended up buying a dozen or so black, V-neck T-shirts. He asked me three times if they were black. I had to promise him they were. He almost called Miles to confirm, but eventually believed me.
We were halfway to the Jeep when my face gave a familiar ache. I caught the first drip of blood.
“Shit.” I dug in my pocket for tissues. Before I could pull them out, Zeke was handing me his handkerchief. I took it and held it to my nose. Zeke was silent as we got into the Jeep. He turned it on and blasted the air-conditioning. I put on my seatbelt and waited for him to start driving, only he didn’t. He sat there watching me, like a wolf eyeing a trap.
“A ghost?” he asked.
I looked out the window. “No… I, uh, think it’s just the dry air.”
“Lexie.” His gravelly voice had me turning back to him. His brow was drawn down, his eyes worried. “What’s going on?”
There it was. The perfect opportunity to tell him what was happening. I had to tell him. I couldn’t keep it to myself. Come on, Lexie. Open your mouth and say, ‘It’s getting worse.’ I opened my mouth to tell him but nothing came out. Say it! My throat closed. I closed my mouth and looked out the windshield. Fuck! “It’s just, you know, the dry air and heat.” You fucking wuss. Zeke watched me for several more minutes before starting the car.
“Okay,” he said. I closed my eyes as he drove out of the parking lot. He believed me. Shit. Guilt hit me hard. Why couldn’t I nut up? I cursed myself all the way home.
* * *
By the time Zeke pulled up in front of the house, I was tired again. Seriously, this was getting annoying as hell.
“I’ll wash your handkerchief and get it back to you with the others,” I told him as I undid my seatbelt.
He nodded, his eyes on the road. “Thanks for helping.”
I smiled. “Thanks for the pic.”
He glared at me. I snorted as I got out of his Jeep and headed in.
I was halfway up the stairs when I noticed my door was open. Oh, come on! Taking a deep breath, I climbed the rest of the stairs. I leaned against the doorjamb and crossed my arms. Tara was rifling through my research books. Stay calm. Don’t kill her. I eyed Hades. The big lug was on my futon watching Tara calmly. The traitor.
She sat in my desk chair and opened my bottom drawer. My supply drawer. She pulled out my research journal. It was nothing big, just what I had found that worked against the dead and what didn’t. She opened it and began to read. Yeah, it wasn’t important, but it still pissed me off.
“What are you looking for?” I asked. Tara jumped to her feet and spun around. “Because I took my really expensive supplies and rare books over to Miles’ place days ago.”
She put my book down on the desk. “Why are you so determined to keep this stuff from me?”
Was she fucking serious? “You tried to blackmail me just the other day. Why would I tell you anything?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I deserve to know.”
“Why the sudden interest?” I asked, my voice tired.
She pressed her mouth together and looked everywhere but at me. “I’m having nightmares.” I stood there, stunned that she actually answered. “They won’t stop.”
I tilted my head to the side and eyed her. Was she trying to play me? Or was she telling the truth? “What kind?”
She shook her head. “I’m driving to the cemetery,” she whispered before she met my eyes. “Then I tackle you and choke you.” Oh fuck. But she wasn’t done. “Then I’m burning, as if I’m on fire.” My heart stopped. Mary Summers. When her body was salted and burned. That feeling still haunted my dreams. I never thought Tara would remember it. Shit, shit, shit. What the fuck was I going to say to her?
“You need to talk to your dad about this,” I tried. “He’ll be able to help.”
Her eyes flashed as they met mine. “You know something,” she stated. “What is going on?”
“Tara… you really should talk to Rory,” I repeated.
“No. You tell me. Now!” she hissed.
I sighed. Fine. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have the right to know. “In October, there was this ghost. There were circumstances that gave her more energy than she should have. She was determined to take over my body or kill me.” I met her eyes. “She found you at that one party, she possessed you, and used you to drive to the cemetery. She tried to take me over again, and when that didn’t work, she used you to attack me.” She gaped at me in horror. “It wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could have done about it. Rory thought it was best that if you didn’t remember, then we shouldn’t tell you.”
She took deep breaths and looked down at the floor. “Why do I remember burning?” she asked, her eyes filling with tears.
I stepped closer, not knowing how to comfort her. “Because, while she was attacking me, the guys… the guys did something to get rid of her. Her anchor, her connection to this world was severed. That was the burning you felt.”
She looked away from me as tears fell down her face. “It was… so painful…”
“I know,” I said quietly. Her eyes snapped to mine. “I felt it too.”
Her gaze ran over me, her face filled with jealousy. “Why you?”
“What?”
Her blue eyes were burning as they met mine. “Why you? You get Asher, you get Zeke. Why do you get the abilities too? Why do you get everything?” she spat out.
“I don’t have Asher. Or Zeke,” I told her, my heart aching as I realized the truth. “What I do have is an expiration date.” She narrowed her eyes at me. “I’m going to die before I turn thirty. That’s the record. Hell, the tests are saying sooner.”
“What?” she asked, her eyes clearing.
“That’s what happens, Tara. The dead either take over your life or you go out being jumped by the dead and your brain gets fried.” My eyes burned as a vise clenched my heart.
“How do you-”
“Because our grandmother died that way. So did our Aunt Claire, and she was only eight years old. Plus, Dr. Peltier’s test confirms it. I’ll probably die before I even graduate.” I took a deep breath. “You think these abilities are so great? Take ‘em. ’Cause I’m going to die early. You’re going to graduate. You’re going to get the chance to get married, have a family. Fuck. You’re going to get to grow old.” Tears fell down my face as my heart filled with envy and pain with every word. “While you get to do all of that, I’ll be six feet under. As worm food.” I shook my head and wiped my face. “You’ll get to live. You got fucking lucky, Tara. So stop acting like a little brat who isn’t getting what she wants.” I wiped my face, resisting the urge to hit her. “Now, get the fuck out of my room.”
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