by Watkins, TM
I turned as I pulled back the bed covers, Jaxon was standing at the door.
“Hey, uh are you using the shower?”
“You can go first if you want. Did you want something to sleep in?”
Say no. Say I like to sleep naked.
“It's cool, I'll sleep in my shorts.”
Damn it. What moron invented shorts?
I sat on the end of the bed and stared at the closed door, hoping that it might ignite from my penetrating gaze. No such luck. I could hear the water hitting the metal pan, sometimes louder than normal, sometimes in great waves of sound. It was torturous to know that he was naked in there. So close yet so far. My phone lit up, a message from Nate.
Nate: No reports of him leaving, something you want to say Kaylee?
Kaylee: Yeah, none of your fucking business.
Kaylee: Okay, so nothing at all. We are in the zone people, the friend zone.
Nate: Lol, the crowd goes wild with delight.
Kaylee: He's in the shower.
Nate: Cheerleaders chanting your name.
Kaylee: Tried x-ray vision, heat ray vision, mind powers. Nothing. I know you've called me a mutant before but I think you lied.
Brad: I called you a mutant. Nate called you a freak.
Kaylee: You're ganging up on me as well?
The sound of Jaxon opening the glass door of the shower caught my attention. Crap.
Kaylee: Got to go, stop talking about me bitches.
I then deleted all messages that related to Jaxon. This I did not want to get out.
The door opened and a waft of steam floated out, Jaxon stood at the doorway in just his boxer shorts. God. Damn. It.
“Your turn.” he offered with a grin.
I nodded, slowly collecting my bed clothes as I watched him cross the room. Muscle overload. I found myself biting my bottom lip as I watched the back muscles contort as he walked. Recorded and ready. I dashed into the bathroom, shut and locked the door. Water on and naked in seconds. Sweet relief.
When I opened the bathroom door I was rather surprised. The almost naked Jaxon was sitting on my bed. Not under the sheets or anything, just in the center with his legs crossed. He was tapping a message on his phone, a deep frown on his face.
I dumped my dirty clothes into the wash basket, alerting Jaxon to the fact that he was no longer alone. His eyes rose up from the phone, his mouth a little slack as he looked up at me. My bed attire was rather unflattering, shorts and a shirt. The ones that I usually wore were covered in blood from last night's drunken binge and the aftermath, now I was stuck in the laundry day pajamas. They were a little tight.
“Uh hey.”
“Hey.” I smiled. “On my bed for a reason?”
“Your lounge is too small. Tried it, legs hang over the edge. You don't mind, do you?”
Well isn't that an interesting question? Do I mind? Well that depends on how things turn out.
“It's cool.”
Not really. No doubt you'll be a complete gentleman and keep your hands and all other wandering parts of your body to yourself and I'll spend the night laying there wishing you'd misbehave.
“Great.” he grinned and climbed under the sheets.
I turned off the lights and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing moisturizer into my hands.
“So that's why I smell vanilla all the time.”
The bed shifted and a shadow loomed near me. I turned to see him sitting back on his legs beside me, analyzing the tube.
“Where do you put it?”
“Up my nose.”
He laughed, the light from the window behind me showed off his gorgeous smile. Lengths of his hair fell to one side, slightly over his face.
“I meant like, just your hands.”
I shrugged and looked at him, his eyes raising to mine. With a shriek, a pair of brutish oversized hands were on my legs and a whole lot more laughter, I fell onto my bed. I felt like groaning as his fingers pressed hard into the soles of my feet, rubbing the moisturizer in.
“Did you remember what today is?”
Not his birthday, that's months away. Mine isn't until Saturday. I shook my head, looking up at the man that had my right foot in his fingers.
“Four years.”
He smiled softly at me, pressing the thumb deeper.
“Four years to the day, a few days before she turned eighteen. She's come a long way, hasn't she?”
I nodded, staring at him. He took my other foot and more cream, rubbing it deep. Like he knew the pain that certain shoes caused, he didn't stop at the feet. He went as high as the knee, rubbing hard against my calves. Thank fuck I had my waxing done on the weekend. It was ahead of schedule but I needed a good cathartic scream. Well, not a scream maybe a high pitched complaint.
“I don't think she's thanked you enough for it.”
“She has.”
“You're wrong, she hasn't. She was starving, lonely and lost. If you hadn't done what you did, she could have been a victim of so many crimes.”
It was true to say that I was lucky. I hadn't been attacked, I was just pushed away. I sat up, pulling my feet away from his hands. As much as I would like to pull him closer and put those hands on my body, I didn't. I refrained from what I wanted deep down and behaved myself.
“You gave her a family when her own stole from her and cast her away like she was dirt. She will always be indebted to your generosity.”
I pulled the sheet back for him, watching as he climbed under the sheet. Life wasn't exactly fair but if there was any positives to be found tonight, I could find these few moments. He was in my bed, there would be no sex but I got something that I had always wanted. To lay beside him.
Closing my eyes I kept my mind active in the hope that he would fall asleep before me. No such luck. I could feel his gaze on me as he laid on his side. Opening my eyes I saw those expressive blue eyes watching me, shadows and silvery moon light washing over his taut body. I was a pile of mushy and squishy bits but he was like an Adonis.
“Good night Jaxon.”
I rolled over and closed my eyes, feeling the bed shift slightly I smiled to myself.
“Night Kaylee.”
Chapter Seven
My body was upright before I was even awake. Sweat poured off me as my heart raced, my body heaved as I struggled to take in air. Tears streamed down my cheeks as the vivid memories came flooding back.
“Hey.” a soft voice cooed in the dark.
I found myself being crushed into a hard body, the warmth of his arms was soothing. He pulled me back down to the bed and didn't let go for the entire time.
When I woke again, I had rolled onto my side. This time it was a more natural awakening. The sun was up, the birds were tweeting and life was still shit. Except that Jaxon hadn't let go. Even though I had rolled out of his arms, he still found his way to me and wrapped his arm around my body.
“I know you're awake.”
I smiled, more so when his grip on me tightened.
“What was the dream about?”
“The car accident. All I can see is the truck coming straight for us.”
“You should see someone.”
With a huff of a laugh I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah, the day I go and see a shrink will be the same day you go to AA.”
“Fine.”
I rolled over and looked at his serious face. Deadly serious.
“I'll go to AA, so today you can pick your shrink.”
He sat up on the bed which I wish that he hadn't. Not only did I no longer have physical contact with him but I was faced with his torso. A phoenix sat over the shoulder of the right arm, its tail feathers trailing down the arm. It didn't seem like a tattoo that he would have, the ones on his back were skulls, crosses and naked chicks but I knew this one had meaning. His father found him in Phoenix, he'd been dumped on his maternal aunt who was just as bad as his mother. That was the reasoning behind the bird, his father saved him from an unknown fate, the bird symbol
ized rebirth, new life and a fresh start.
There was a gap of bare skin over his heart, I knew the meaning of that too. He had said once when he was far too inebriated for a teen girl to understand that when he found his heart the space would be filled.
I got up from the bed and padded across the floors. His instant acceptance to go to AA was a little shocking. Either he didn't believe he had a problem or he thought that dealing with it was okay so long as I went to a shrink.
As I waited for the coffee machine to finish filling, I took a careful peek out the window to the street below. There were a few paparazzi still hanging around. This was going to be an interesting morning.
Half an hour later we stood by the main door to the apartment building, beyond the frosted glass was a frenzy waiting to happen.
“Ready?”
“Yep. Let's get this over and done with.”
As soon as he opened the door it started. I stepped out and was blinded by the morning light, deafened by the questions and the constant whirs and clicks of the cameras. They were like a mob, instantly in my face. Jaxon held me to his body to help me through but it only made the situation worse. All he was trying to do was protect me but now it looked like there really was something going on.
The door was closed amid the scramble to get a shot of me. How Jaxon kept his cool in this situation I do not know. He rounded the car as best he could and got in the driver's seat. It was a miracle that they actually got out of his way, they didn't seem to care that they might get run over.
“Well that went well, don't you think?”
“Yeah, sure.” I laughed.
We arrived to a welcoming committee. Not just the paparazzi but the entire band, wives, children and my family. They were just as interested in what was going on as what the rest of the world was. Sadly there was nothing to report. Jaxon made that quite clear and I silently slipped away, not wanting to hear him say that we weren't together, that nothing was going on.
My heart was quietly breaking into a thousand pieces again. Last night and this morning had repaired it, now he'd broken it. El was the first up the stairs, looking at me with that motherly love mixed with a bit of sympathy.
“Abbey's going to fill in until things die down. In the meantime you're on holidays.”
“Oh mom, don't be ridiculous. I need to keep my mind active, not moping around the apartment.”
“Nonsense Kaylee, we're going dress shopping today. It's Wednesday and you still haven't picked a dress.”
She ran her manicured fingers along the counter, watching me as she slowly rounded the desk.
“You can't just wear any old thing darling, it's black tie. That means you need a really pretty dress. Tomorrow we're going to be doing some pampering and Friday we will be checking over the preparations. Saturday is at the hair dresser and getting ready.”
I looked up at El, she had been blessed with two great sons and a wonderful husband but never a daughter and I think that she wishes that she'd had one. Jerry had a daughter from his first marriage but she lived with her mother in California when she was a child, so they only saw her on school holidays. El loved Nate and Brad but I knew that she wished that there was just one more child in her brood. Now I was that one more, I was the daughter she never had. So I sighed slightly and nodded, accepting her insistence and her love.
She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me hard, I felt my body sag into hers as the weight of it all finally hit me.
“We didn't.” I said as I wiped the tears. “Just so that you know.”
“Darling it's not my business what you do. You are a grown woman now and who you invite into your life is your own choice.”
“Yeah I know but in case they had some heat cameras or something that crazy, he did sleep in my bed. The lounge is too short for mister tall pants so I let him but I had a nightmare and he did hug me.”
El's face dropped with sadness.
“What was it this time?”
“The truck again.”
“Oh Kaylee.” She said sadly as she hugged me again. “Darling I am so sorry.”
“Said I should go and see a shrink.”
El nodded in agreement as we walked down the stairs. One day they might fix the elevator. I don't think it's ever worked properly.
“I agree Kaylee, you know I've been saying it for years now. I should have been more insistent but you were always so independent, you seemed to be coping. Once the party is over and done with we will revisit this and find you someone to talk to, okay?”
“Sure mom.”
We walked past the group of people talking, the children were in the main area of the warehouse running around, screaming and laughing.
“We're off dress shopping.” El said as she waved rather regally, walking to the door.
I meekly followed behind, wondering if he was watching. There was a crowd of paparazzi along the fence, as soon as El stepped out they were clicking away. Once I joined her in the sunlight the frenzy started up. Yelling questions at me, asking me for comments. I ignored them all.
El pulled out onto the street, frowning at the foolish photographers.
“Do you think that he looks at me?”
“Darling, I don't think he takes his eyes off you.”
“Then why doesn't he do something?”
“Maybe he's just as scared as you are. Maybe he doesn't think that you like him. Maybe he'd rather have your friendship than lose you all together, fearing the worst. Sound familiar darling?”
El had a wicked smile as she watched the road ahead.
“Nathan and Bradley are collecting a few things for you. It would be wise to stay with us until the weekend at least.”
Great. I pulled out my phone and messaged freak number one.
Kaylee: Stay out of the blue draws.
Nate: Why? Got a double ender in there Kaylee? B did mention a humming noise, did you forget to turn it off?
Kaylee: Haha. Look if you want but it will spoil the surprise for your birthday.
Nate: Oh I love you.
“Bastard.”
“What's the matter Kaylee?”
“I told Nate to stay out of a set of draws that had his birthday present in it and he went and looked anyway.”
El laughed, grinning broadly as she pulled into the car park.
Brad: I hope your planning on buying me season tickets K.
Kaylee: Absolutely.
I wandered along the racks of dresses as El discussed suitable options for my skin tone with the clerk. She was all over El the second she stepped into the shop, me not so much. But El dressed like she had money, I dressed to fit within my budget. Sure, I was paid a pretty wicked pay but I was saving to buy a place. I already had a deposit that would be sufficient but I wanted more in the bank before I committed.
The woman swanned over to me and looked at me with a little haughtiness, a little bit of professionalism and a warm smile that made me want to cringe. It was a little creepy.
“I have a few dresses in mind, follow me and we can get started.”
She pulled a few dresses off the rack and led us to the back of the shop to a rather large dressing room. A large round pedestal sat in the center with several mirrors around the room, chairs sporadically placed as well.
“Which would you like to see first?”
“Uh, the green one.” El said.
The woman nodded with a grin and pulled the dress of the hanger. It was actually two pieces, a bodice and a fluffy skirt but when put together it looked like one dress. The green was a deep jade color, diamante stones scattered across the chest.
I looked at El as the woman fluffed the skirt out at my feet.
“Oh darling it's so pretty.”
“I think I'm going to need to be taped in.” I groaned as I looked down at my breasts trying to escape.
Oh squishy bits, you could make him so happy. If only he took notice of you.
“I like that dress Kaylee, it suits your colors.”
/> The woman nodded in agreement.
“Sure mom, it's great.”
“Do you want to try on the other dresses?”
I shook my head with a soft smile, feeling the soft material of the skirt.
“This is fine, thank you. But my mom needs a dress too.”
“Oh Kaylee, I've got plenty.”
El crumbled the minute I gave her the frown. The Kaylee frown that said she wasn't impressed at the attitude or the statement.
“I'll go find a few choices.”
The woman smiled and turned out of the room. As soon as the door was shut I changed back into my clothes, feeling much more comfortable.
“Do you really like it?”
“Of course, it's great.”
She took my hands and pulled me onto the chaise lounge beside her, tucking a strand of loose hair behind my ear.
“When you stood on my doorstep I knew that there was someone wonderful underneath the dirtied clothes and sad eyes. We took you in because we could see what he could see, the diamond in the rough. The soul that needed to be loved. He could have kicked you out of that building. He could have called the cops or child services. You think that he doesn't love you but you're wrong. It might not be the kind of love that you want but it's there, I promise. He spoils you rotten, doesn't he?”
I nodded as the door opened and the woman swanned in with arms full of dresses.
“What man do you know would willingly spoil someone if he didn't love them?”
She gripped my hand hard with that smile of motherly love. Sadly, she was right. He did offer his own version of love, just not the one that I wanted.
Chapter Eight
Not working for the rest of the week happened to disrupt Nate's plans for lunch dates with his so called friends. In his opinion it was full steam ahead and forget about the paparazzi hanging around the front of the building. Nate and his wonderful and albeit good intentions really were a pain in the ass.
I had to be ready and at the clubhouse by no later than eleven in an attempt to throw Jaxon off the scent. Lunches were always at twelve according to Nate and he said that he had declared it yesterday, loud enough for all to hear.
The second attempt at a lunch date arrived with timed precision, right on eleven am. Nate smiled broadly as he greeted the man. I could feel the gaze of the few band members that were here, looking at Nate's selection for today.