Pete and Sam were so completely different that I had no idea how they were friends. We didn’t catch up often, every month or so, because it seemed a shame to lose a friendship just because life got in the way.
“No. I ran into her at my sister’s. Well, at the cabin,” I explained, grabbing a handful of nuts from the plate in the center of the table.
“So you’re not seeing her again?” Pete almost sounded disappointed for me.
“Well, she is kind of staying at my apartment until she finds a place,” I said, bracing myself.
Pete howled with laughter. There it was: the reaction I’d been expecting. “A chick staying with you? How will you cope not walking around naked all day?” His eyes gleamed. “Or maybe she likes that, huh?”
The thought of Mia seeing me naked made my cock twitch, but Pete’s leering eyes snapped me out of it. Pulling out my phone—which had just buzzed—I was surprised to see one message waiting there from Mia. I opened it, and chuckled.
This might be inappropriate, but I have to ask. Why in the hell do you have a bikini line waxing kit in your bathroom cabinet?!?
I snorted, typing back to her as I replied to Pete. “Think for a moment about what I do for a living. I think I can handle a woman living with me. Besides, it’s only till she finds her own place.”
Pete nodded knowingly. “Uh-huh. Sure,” he grinned.
I resisted the urge to slap that smile off his face.
Some things are better left unsaid. This is one of them. What are you doing? I’m out at Adam’s Apple with a couple of friends if you’re up for a drink?
A reply came back right away.
Be there in fifteen!
“Can we talk about something other than me?” I complained, popping a few more nuts in my mouth and shoving my phone back in my pocket.
Pete nodded, and pointed at a cute blonde sitting alone by the bar.
“Sure. Let’s talk about how that little beauty over there is going to be riding the Pete machine tonight.” He licked his lips as he gazed at her.
Sam and I exchanged glances as I groaned. Maybe it was better if we talked about me.
Exactly fifteen minutes later on the dot, I spotted Mia coming through the door. Right about the same time Pete spotted her.
“Holy fuckballs, check out the brunette who just walked in,” he mumbled, letting out a low whistle. “Check out those cans!”
“Keep your pants on, dude.” I stood up as she approached the table.
She gave me a hug and smiled at the guys.
“Mia, this is Pete and Sam, two of my buddies from college. Guys, this is Mia.”
Pete stood up and smiled, extending his hand. “We’ve heard so much about you, it’s wonderful to finally meet you.”
“You have?” she raised her eyebrows at me.
“Yeah,” Pete nodded, his hands resting on my shoulders. “This guy doesn’t shut up about you.”
Mia giggled as I turned and shot Pete a warning look. He backed away from me, his hands raised.
“Can I get you a drink?” I asked her.
“Sure, a lemon soda would be nice. I start work tomorrow, so avoiding alcohol is probably a smart idea.” She made a face.
I walked up to the bar and ordered two lemon sodas. Leaving her alone with Pete was probably a bad idea, but I didn’t have much choice. I glanced back to see her laughing uncontrollably.
What the fuck was he saying to her?
I walked back over with our drinks, trying to hide the fact that I was so pissed off. And I didn’t even know why I was so annoyed—because they’d been laughing? Or maybe it was seeing Mia laughing with another guy. Or maybe it was Pete, knowing he’d d anything to get her into bed…and I wondered if she’d let him.
“Here you go,” I said, placing her drink on a coaster in front of her. She smiled up at me, her dark lashes fluttering. Oh god, don’t look at me like that. I could barely contain myself around her as it was. I didn’t need to be staring into those amazing eyes.
“Mia was just telling us a few things about you, Coop,” Pete chuckled as he took a mouthful of his beer. “Or should we call you Squirt?”
“Seriously?” I groaned, turning to Mia. “You had to tell them that?”
“They asked, and I felt pressured to answer,” Mia said, barely managing to keep a straight face.
“Squirt” had been something I had repressed for years. In sixth grade, I had fallen asleep in history class. My teacher had woken me up by demanding I come up to the front of the class and answer a question on the board. As I walked up, the entire class, including the god damned teacher, began to laugh. I glanced down and realized I’d had a wet dream.
God, even thinking about it brought back those same feelings of embarrassment and terror. For months, everyone referred to me as ‘Squirt.’ As if my life wasn’t hard enough back then, being as skinny and weird as I was.
“You’ll pay for this,” I said, narrowing my eyes at her.
She giggled, pursing her lips in mock horror. “Come –on, Coop. It was funny.”
“It might have been funny to everyone else, but to me? Horrifying. The worst experience of my life,” I grumbled.
Pete, still howling with laughter banged his hand down on the table. “And it’s even more hilarious now, considering your line of work,” he panted.
I glared at him. His mouth dropped open as he realized what he’d just said.
“Why?” Mia asked, confused.
“Because insurance isn’t the most sexy profession around,” I replied smoothly.
She giggled, buying it.
I sighed. That was way too close. Again I felt that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I hated lying to her. I needed to get her away from Pete before he had anymore to drink.
“I think it’s time for me to head off,” I said, getting to my feet.
Pete looked at me apologetically while Sam just sat there awkwardly.
“I’ll call you guys, yeah?” Turning to Mia, I smiled. “Can I walk you back?”
She nodded and slipped off her stool, taking my arm.
“It was lovely to meet you,” she said to the boys. They exchanged goodbyes as I left, with her following closely behind me.
“I’m sorry, Coop. I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” Mia glanced at me, her expression anxious. In her defense, I hadn’t spoken since we left the bar.
We walked down the sidewalk side by side. I softened, not wanting her to think the weirdness in there had been her fault. “It’s fine,” I chuckled. “I hadn’t thought about that in years, to be honest. And I’d rather never think of it again.”
“Thanks for inviting me out,” Mia smiled.
“Thanks for saying yes,” I replied. “I hope my friends weren’t too painful for you,” I chuckled.
“No, they were fine. They seem like good guys. Are you close?” she asked.
“Not really. I mean, they’re my closest and oldest friends, but we only catch up every month or so. I don’t really have any close friends. I spend a lot of time with Nic and Jake and then there’s work. I don’t really have many guy friends I can just call up for a drink, if that makes sense.”
Good one, Coop. Now she thinks you’re some kind of loser with no friends.
“It makes perfect sense,” she smiled. “I get what you’re saying. That’s pretty much my life you’re describing right there. And any friends I had through Aiden, he seemed to take possession of during the divorce.”
It was the first time I’d heard her mention her ex-husband’s name.
“What happened between you guys? I mean, don’t answer that if you don’t want to.”
“No, I’m fine talking about it.” She shrugged. “We just fell out of love, I guess—or at least he fell out of love. I’d been with him for so long that he was really all I knew. We’ve been separated for the last year, so it’s not like it was sudden or anything. The divorce went through just before I moved back.”
“Still, it must’ve been
hard to move on.”
“Yes, but it was better than staying a part of something that wasn’t making me happy.” She shrugged. “Besides, moving back here meant reconnecting with Nic. And you,” she added shyly.
I reached for her hand, letting her fingers entwine into mine. I hated feeling like this. Vulnerable. Open to getting hurt. The idea of letting someone in scared the hell out of me.
“For what it’s worth, its his loss, letting you go,” I mumbled, keeping my eyes on the ground. I saw her smile out of the corner of my eye. She squeezed my hand as we continued to walk.
“So what about you? You were married too yes?” she asked.
I nodded. “Just out of high school. Way too young. We lost our baby late pregnancy which led to things just breaking down from there. Neither of us knew how to deal with it.” I shrugged. Se squeezed my hand.
“Wow, that must have been rough, she mumbled.
“It was, but things happen. You can’t change them, you just have to learn from them.”
She smiled up at me. “You’re so positive,” she murmured softly. “I should take a leaf out of your book.” I chuckled. It wasn’t that I was positive, I just tried not to dwell on things I couldn’t change.
Back at the apartment, Mia hugged at me. I stood for a moment, frozen, before curling my arms around her, breathing in the smell of her musky perfume. My heart was beating so loudly I was sure she could feel it. She pulled back and smiled at me.
“Night Coop.”
We now stood outside her room, still holding hands, neither of us showing any signs of moving. I moved her arm around my waist as she stared up at me with those eyes. I rested my head against hers, breathing in the smell of her hair, her perfume. My lips touched her neck. She moaned softly as I began to work my way down over her collarbone. All I wanted to do was feel myself inside of her, but I couldn’t get rid of the guilt I felt from lying to her about my job.
My hand touched her cheek as I leaned in to kiss her. Our lips meshed together in perfect sync.
“‘Night,” I mumbled, pulling away from her, knowing if I didn’t leave her right then, I’d regret it tomorrow. I leaned against the wall and watched as she disappeared into her room. Fuck, watching her leave me was so hard.
I couldn’t sleep. I’d been tossing and turning for two hours, and every time I closed my eyes, I saw her. All I wanted was to fall asleep and dream about being with her in every possible way.
Throwing the sheets back in frustration, I climbed out of bed and put my robe on. I walked past her room, the darkness under the door telling me she was probably asleep. In the kitchen, I grabbed a can of soda and gulped half of it down in one hit. Walking over to the balcony, I opened the door and stepped out onto the cool concrete.
I sat down in the far corner of the balcony, my head resting against the brick wall as I took in the city lights laid out in front of me. Next to me sat my half-drunk can of lemonade.
I didn’t make a habit of sitting out there in the freezing darkness, but I felt like I needed to clear my head. I could hear police sirens in the distance, which was not unusual for a Friday night.
My head was aching, probably due to the lack of sleep. I’d managed less than five hours of broken slumber each and every night since Mia had crashed back into my life.
A coincidence? Maybe.
Hell, I had no idea what I was doing. Wait, yes I did: I was falling for a woman who deserved more than I could ever give her. Not only that, I was lying to her, just like I’d lied to my family for the past eight years. Mia understood me. We talked, and I felt heard. She talked and I wanted to listen. I looked at her and thought I could share my life with her. Then I’d come crashing back down to reality and remember I was a fucking escort—like there’s any other kind—who was supporting his sick mother.
God, my life had become a plot for a really bad movie.
I heard the door slide open and looked up in surprise. Mia’s head popped out.
“Coop, are you okay? I got up for a drink and saw the door was unlocked.” She stepped out, wrapped tightly in a thick pink robe with white stripes. God, she even wore matching slippers. What hope did I have when she looked so fucking adorable every time I saw her?
“I’m fine,” I sighed. “I couldn’t sleep, so I came to get some air.
She disappeared inside and came back carrying a blanket. “Scoot over a bit.” I did, and she plopped down next to me, covering us both with the blanket.
“Thanks, but you don’t have to be out here. Don’t you start work tomorrow?”
She nodded. “But not until the afternoon.” She looked up at the dark sky, which was lightly dusted with tiny sparkling stars. “When I was little, I used to think when people died they became a star. I’d go outside and lie down on the porch for hours, watching all these people who lived before me. I’d make up lives for them.” She turned to me. “Is that weird?” she asked, crinkling her nose.
I chuckled. “A little bit, but that’s part of what I like about you so much.”
She smiled and rested her head on my shoulder. I reached for her hand, enclosing mine around it. How was she so warm?
“I used to love staring at the stars when I was little,” I mused. “I still do. There is something so relaxing about it. No matter what my day has been like, the world will stop for a moment if I just forget about everything and focus up there.” I stared up at the sky.
“Anything in particular bothering you?” she asked after a minute.
“Nothing…everything,” I admitted. “I don’t know. I thought I had things all figured out in my head, but then things change so quickly, without any notice, you know?”
“I know what you mean. No matter how well you plan your life out, things will inevitably change. Sometimes it’s bad, but sometimes change can be good.”
“Are you happy?” I blurted out.
She looked taken aback by my question.
“I’m sorry. I used to think I was happy, but maybe I was only happy because I didn’t realize what I was missing.”
She seemed to ponder over my words. “I had a cousin who was born deaf. She was the happiest person I knew. She saw the positive in everything. Then, when she was twenty, she had surgery to restore her hearing.” She paused and smiled. “I was there the first time she heard her fiancé tell her he loved her. I guess what I’m trying to say is you can make the best of your situation, and still appreciate that there may be better things out there to come.”
“That must have been amazing to share that moment with your cousin.”
“It was,” she said with a grin. “I will never forget the look on her face as he said those three little words that so many of us take for granted.”
“I needed this,” I said, turning to her. “Thanks. Considering it’s one in the morning, we should probably get some sleep, huh?” I got to my feet and put my hand out.
She smiled and took hold of it, letting me help her to her feet. “Anytime, Coop. Anytime you want to talk, about anything at all, I’m here,” she said earnestly, tucking a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear.
“Thanks, I appreciate it,” I said, my lips brushing past her cheek. I trudged off to bed, curling up into my blankets, her words playing over and over in my head as I fell asleep.
If only I could be sure you’d still be there for me after you listened to what I have to tell you.
Chapter Thirteen
It was one of those days where I wanted to do nothing, and I had achieved just that. It was eight in the evening as I stood in the bathroom, staring at my reflection. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, then I grabbed a couple of Tylenol—a preemptive attack on the fatigue headache I knew was coming.
Reaching for the clothes hamper, I took it into the laundry room and unloaded the contents into the washing machine. I stopped, staring at the object on top: a light pink, lacy G-string.
My heart began to hammer as I picked it up. Yes, I realized how creepy it was to be holding Mia’s underw
ear, but it could’ve been worse; at least I wasn’t sniffing them. I closed my eyes and imagined her wearing them, parading around in front of me in this little piece of fabric…
“Coop?”
I jumped and spun around. Mia stood there dressed in that sexy fucking cream blouse and a black skirt. I hadn’t even heard her get home. Bleary-eyed and looking confused, her eyes went from me, and back to my hand.
Shit! This was bad…
“Just putting in some laundry,” I mumbled, my face red.
She raised her eyebrows, letting me know she wasn’t buying it. “I was just checking to see if these could go in with the normal wash…?” I pretended to focus on the label, feeling pretty impressed with my quick thinking.
She stared at me for a good few minutes before her lips broke into a smile. “They’re fine in the normal wash. Thanks for taking such great care of my underwear,” she added lightly, her eyes twinkling. “I might watch some TV,” she added.
Hmm. That sounded an awful lot like an invitation.
I watched as she walked over to the sofa, my eyes on the curve of her ass. She sat down, placing one leg over the other, and stretched her arms out. I stared directly at where her hardened nipples were showing through her skimpy bra—until I realized that I was staring at her nipples and looked away, embarrassed.
“Why don’t we go for a run?” I suggested brightly.
She eyed me strangely. Maybe a touch too much enthusiasm.
“Um, because it’s dark? And cold? And I hate running?”
“Well maybe it’s time you changed that,” I said, raising my eyebrows.
She looked at me suspiciously. “Change what?”
“Go get into some running clothes.” I clapped my hands together. “We’re going running.”
“What?” she squeaked. “No! I can barely manage walking.”
“Okay then, we’ll go for a walk,” I shrugged, making it clear I wasn’t giving up.
“I walk enough at work,” she grumbled, narrowing her eyes at me.
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