by Robin Hobb
So it was that I descended the steps from the Queen's Garden, and then hastened through the keep. From the servants' areas there were six possible entry points to the hidden spy labyrinth that meandered through the entrails of Buckkeep Castle. I took care that every day I used a different entry from the day before. Today I selected the one near the cook's larder. I waited until there was no one in the corridor when I entered the storeroom. I pushed my way through three racks of dangling sausages before dragging the panel open and stepping through into now familiar darkness.
I didn't waste time waiting for my eyes to adjust. This part of the maze had no illumination of any kind. The first few times I'd explored it, I carried a candle. Today I judged that I knew it well enough to traverse it in the dark. I counted my steps, then groped my way into a narrow staircase. At the top of it, I made a sharp right and saw thin fingers of spring sunlight filtering into the dusty corridor. Stooped, I hastened along it and soon reached a more familiar part of the warren. In a short time, I emerged from the side of the hearth in the Seawatch Tower. I pushed the panel back into place, then froze as I heard someone lifting the door latch. I barely had time to seek flimsy shelter in the long curtains that draped the tower windows before someone entered.
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I held my breath, but it was only Chade, Dutiful, and Thick arriving for their lessons. I waited until the door was firmly closed behind them before stepping out into the room. I startled Thick, but Chade only observed, “You've cobwebs down your left cheek. Did you know?”
I wiped away the clinging stuff. “I'm surprised that it's only on my left cheek. Spring seems to have wakened a legion of spiders. ”
Chade nodded gravely to my observation. “I used to carry a feather duster with me, waving it before me as I went. It helped. Somewhat. Of course, in those days, it little mattered what I looked like when I arrived at my destination. I just didn't care for the sensation of little legs down the back of my neck. ”
Prince Dutiful smirked at the idea of the immaculately attired and coiffed Queen's councilor scuttling through the corridors. There had been a time when Lord Chade was a hidden resident of Buckkeep Castle, the royal assassin only, a man who concealed his pocked face and carried out the King's justice in the shadows. No longer. Now he strode majestically through the hallways, openly lauded as both diplomat and trusted adviser to the Queen. His elegant garb in shades of blue and green reflected that status, as did the gems that graced his throat and earlobes. His snowy hair and piercing green eyes seemed like carefully chosen accoutrements to his wardrobe. The scars that had so distressed him had faded with his years. I neither envied nor begrudged him his finery. Let the old man make up now for the deprivations of his youth. It harmed no one, and those who were dazzled by it often overlooked the rapier mind that was his real weapon.
In contrast, the Prince was garbed nearly as simply as I was. I attributed it to Queen Kettricken's austere Mountain Kingdom traditions and her innate thrift. At fifteen, Dutiful was shooting up. What sense was there in creating fine garments for everyday wear when he either outgrew them or tore out the shoulders while practicing on the weapons court? I studied the young man who stood grinning before me. His dark eyes and curling black hair mirrored his father's, but both his height and his developing jawline reminded me more of my father Chivalry's portrait.
The squat man accompanying him was a complete contrast. I estimated Thick to be in his late twenties. He had the small tight ears and protruding tongue of a simpleton. The Prince had garbed him in a blue tunic and leggings that matched his own, right down to the buck crest on the breast, but the tunic strained across the little man's potbelly and the hose sagged comically at his knees and ankles. He cut an odd figure, both amusing and slightly repulsive, to those who could not sense, as I did, the Skill Magic that burned in him like a smith's forge fire. He was learning to control the Skill-music that served him in place of an ordinary man's thoughts. It was less pervasive and hence less annoying than it had once been, yet the strength of his magic meant that he shared it with all of us, constantly. I could block it, but that meant also blocking my sensitivity to most of the Skill, including Chade's and Dutiful's weaker sendings. I could not block him and still teach them, so for now I endured Thick's music.
Today it was made from the snickings of scissors and the clack of a loom, with the high-pitched giggle of a woman winding through it. “So. Had another fitting this morning, did you?” I asked the Prince.
He was not dazzled. He knew how I had deduced it. He nodded with weary tolerance. “Both Thick and I. It was a long morning. ”
Thick nodded emphatically. “Stand on the stool. Don't scratch. Don't move. While they poke Thick with pins. ” He added the last severely, with a rebuking look at the Prince.
Dutiful sighed. “That was an accident, Thick. She told you to stand still. ”
“She's mean,” Thick ventured in an undertone, and I suspected he was close to the truth. Many of his nobles found it difficult to accept the Prince's friendship with Thick. For some reason, it affronted some servants even more. I suspected some of them found small ways to vent that displeasure.
“It's all done now, Thick,” Dutiful consoled him.
We took our customary places around the immense table. Since Chade had announced that he and the Prince were beginning Skill-lessons together, this room of the Seawatch Tower had been furnished well. Long curtains framed the tall windows, now unshuttered to admit a pleasant breeze. The stone walls and floor of the chamber had been well scrubbed and the table and chairs oiled and polished. There were proper scroll racks to hold Chade's small library as well as a stoutly locked cabinet for those he regarded as highly valuable or dangerous. A large writing desk offered inkpots and freshly cut pens and a generous supply of both paper and vellum. There was also a sideboard with bottles of wine, glasses, and other necessities for the Prince's comfort. It had become a comfortable, even indulgent room that reflected Chade's taste more than Prince Dutiful's.
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I enjoyed the change.
I surveyed the faces around me. Dutiful was looking at me alertly. Thick was pursuing something inside his left nostril. Chade was sitting bolt upright, fairly shivering with energy. Whatever he had taken to bring him back to alertness had done nothing for the threads of blood in his eyes. The contrast with his green gaze was unsettling.
“What I'd like to do today . . . Thick. Please stop that. ”
He looked at me blankly, his finger still wedged in his nose. “Can't. It's poking me in there. ”
Chade rubbed his brow, looking aside. “Give him a handkerchief,” he suggested to no one in particular.
Prince Dutiful was closest. “Here, blow your nose. Maybe it will come out. ”
He handed Thick a square of embroidered linen. Thick regarded it doubtfully for several seconds, and then took it. Over the deafening sounds of his attempts to clear his nose, I asked, “Last night, each of us was to try Skill-walking in our dreams. ” I had been nervous about suggesting this, but I had felt both Dutiful and Chade were ready to attempt it. Thick routinely forgot what he was to do in the evenings, so I'd had small concern for him. When one Skill-walked, one could leave one's own body and for a short time experience life through someone else. I had managed it several times, most often by accident. The Skill scrolls had suggested that it was not only a good way to gather information but also to locate those who were open enough to be used as King's Men, sources of strength to a Skill-user. Those sufficiently open sometimes proved to possess the Skill themselves. Chade had been enthused yesterday, but a glance at him today showed none of the triumph he would have displayed if he had managed the feat. Dutiful likewise looked gloomy. “So. No success?”
“I did it!” Thick exulted.
“You Skill-walked?” I was astounded.
“No-o-o. I got it out. See?” He displayed his greenish trophy trapped in
the middle of the Prince's handkerchief. Chade turned aside with an exclamation of disgust.
Dutiful, being fifteen, laughed aloud. “Impressive, Thick. That's a big one. Looks like an old green salamander. ”
“Yah,” Thick agreed with satisfaction. His mouth sagged wide with pleasure. “I dreamed a big blue lizard last night. Bigger than this!” His laughter, like a dog's huffy panting, joined the Prince's.
“My prince and future monarch,” I reminded Dutiful sternly, “we have work to do. ” In reality, I was struggling to keep a straight face. It was good to see Dutiful laugh freely, even over something puerile. Since I had first met the boy, he had always seemed weighted by his station and his perpetual duties. This was the first time I had seen him acting like a youngster in springtime; I regretted my rebuke when the smile faded so abruptly from his face. With a gravity that far exceeded my own, he turned to Thick, seized the handkerchief and balled it up.
“No, Thick. Stop. Listen to me. You dreamed a big blue lizard? How big?”
The intensity of the Prince's question drew Chade's glance. But Thick was confused and offended by how quickly Dutiful's tone and attitude toward him had changed. His brow furrowed and both bottom lip and tongue jutted as a sulk settled onto his face. “That wasn't nice. ”
I recognized the phrase. We'd been working on Thick's table manners. If he was to accompany us on the trip to Aslevjal, he had to learn at least a modicum of courtesy. Unfortunately, he seemed to recall the rules only when he could rebuke someone else with them.
“I'm sorry, Thick. You're right. Grabbing isn't nice. Now tell me about the big lizard you dreamed. ”
The Prince was smiling earnestly at Thick, but the change of topic was too fast for the little man. Thick shook his heavy head and turned away. He folded his stubby arms on his chest. “Na,” he declined gruffly.
“Please, Thick,” Dutiful began, but Chade interrupted. “Can't this wait, Dutiful? We've not that many days before we sail, and we still have so much ground to cover if we are to function as a Skill coterie. ” I knew the old man's anxiety. I shared it. The Skill might be essential to the Prince's success. Neither of us put much weight on his truly slaying some buried ice dragon. The true value of the Skill would be that Chade and I could gather information and convey it to Dutiful to smooth the path for his wedding negotiations. “No. This is important, Chade. I think. Well, it might be. Because I dreamed a big blue lizard last night, too. Actually, the creature I dreamed was a dragon. ”
A moment of silence held as we considered this. Then Chade hesitantly attempted, “Well, it should not surprise us if you and Thick share the same dream. You are so often Skill-linked throughout the day, why shouldn't it bleed over into the night?”
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“Because I don't think I was asleep when it happened. I was trying to do the Skill-walking. Fi— Tom says it was easiest for him to bridge over to it from a light sleep. So I was in my bed, trying to be asleep but not too asleep, while reaching out with the Skill. And then I felt it. ”
“What?” Chade asked.
“I felt it looking for me. With its great big whirly silver eyes. ” Thick was the one who answered.
“Yes,” the Prince confirmed slowly.
My heart sank.
“I don't understand,” Chade said irritably. “Start at the beginning and report it properly. ” This was addressed to Dutiful. I understood the double prong of Chade's anger. Once again, the three of them had attempted an exercise, and both Thick and Dutiful had experienced some success while Chade had failed. Underscoring that was the mention of a dragon. There had been too many mentions of dragons lately: a frozen dragon for Dutiful to unearth and behead, the dragons the Bingtown contingent had bragged about (supposedly at the beck and call of the Bingtown Traders), and now a dragon intruding into our Skill-exercise. We knew far too little about any of them. We dared not dismiss them as legends and lies; too well we recalled the stone dragons that had rallied to the Six Duchies' defense sixteen years ago, yet we knew little about any of them.
“There's scarcely enough to report it,” Dutiful replied. He took a breath, and despite his own words, began in the orderly way in which Chade had schooled both of us. “I had retired to my chambers, exactly as if I were going to sleep for the night. I was in my bed. There was a low fire in the hearth, and I was watching it, unfocusing my mind in a way that I hoped would invite sleep and yet leave me aware enough to reach out with the Skill. Twice I dozed off. Each time, I roused myself and tried to approach the exercise again. The third time, I tried reversing the process. I reached out with the Skill, held myself in readiness, and then tried to sink down into sleep. ” He cleared his throat and looked around at us. “Then I felt something big. Really big. ” He looked at me. “Like that time on the beach. ”
Thick was following the tale with his jaw ajar and his small round eyes bunched with thought. “A big fat blue lizard,” he hazarded.
“No, Thick. ” Dutiful patiently kept his voice soft. “Not at first. At first, there was just this immense . . . presence. And I longed to go toward it, and yet I feared to go toward it. Not because of any deliberate threat from it. On the contrary, it seemed . . . infinitely benign. Restful and safe. I was afraid to touch it for fear that . . . I'd lose any desire to come back. It seemed like the end of something. An edge, or a place where something different begins. No. Like something that lives in a place where something different begins. ” The Prince's voice trickled away.
“I don't understand. Talk sense,” Chade demanded.
“It's as much sense as you can apply to it,” I interceded quietly. “I know the sort of being, or feeling, or place, that the Prince is speaking about. I've encountered such, a time or two. Once, one helped us. But I had the feeling that one was an exception. Perhaps another one of them might have absorbed us and not even noticed. It's an incredibly attractive force, Chade. Warm and accepting, gentle as a mother's love. ”
The Prince frowned slightly and shook his head. “This one was strong. Protective and wise. Like a father,” said Dutiful.
I held my tongue. I had long ago decided that those forces presented to us whatever it was that we most hungered for. My mother had given me up when I was very small. Dutiful had never known his father. Such things leave large gaps in a man.
“Why haven't you spoken of this before?” Chade asked testily.
Why, indeed? Because that encounter had seemed too personal to share. But now I excused myself, saying, “Because you would only have said to me what you just said. Talk sense. It's a phenomenon I can't explain. Perhaps even what I've said is just my rationalization of what I experienced. Recounting a dream; that's what it is like. Trying to make a story out of a series of events that defy logic. ”
Chade subsided, but he did not look content. I resigned myself to being wrung for more facts, thoughts, and impressions later.
“I want to tell about the big lizard,” Thick observed sullenly to no one at all. He had reached a point at which he sometimes enjoyed being the center of attention. Obviously he felt that the Prince's tale had stolen his stage.
“Go ahead, Thick. You tell what you dreamed, and then I'll tell what I did. ” The Prince ceded him all attention.
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Chade sat back in his chair with a noisy sigh. I turned my attention to Thick and watched his face brighten. He gave a wiggle like a stroked puppy, squinted thoughtfully, and then in a painstaking imitation of how he had frequently heard Dutiful and me report to Chade, began his account. “I went to bed last night. And I had my red blanket. Then, Thick was being almost asleep, going into the music. Then, I knew Dutiful was there. Sometimes Thick follows him to dreams. He has lots of good dreams, girl dreams . . . ”
Thick's voice trailed off for a moment as he breathed through his open mouth, pondering. The Prince looked acutely uncomfortable, but both Chade and I managed to retain blandly
interested expressions.
Thick abruptly resumed his tale. “Then, I thought, where is he? Maybe it's a game. He's hiding from Thick. So I go, ‘Prince' and he goes, ‘Be quiet. ' So I am and Thick is small, and the music goes around and around me. Like hiding in the curtains. Then I peep, just a tiny peep. And it's a big fat lizard, blue, blue like my shirt, but shiny when she moves, like the knives in the kitchen. Then she says, ‘Come out, come out. We can play a game. ' But Prince says, ‘Sh, no, don't,' so I don't, and then she gets mad and gets bigger. Her eyes go shiny and whirl round and round like that saucer I dropped. And then Thick thinks, ‘But she's on the dream side. I'll go on the other side. ' So I made the music get bigger and I woke up. And there wasn't a lizard but my red blanket was on the floor. ”
He finished his telling with a great gasp, having run out of breath, and looked from one of us to the other. I found myself giving Chade the tiniest of Skill-pokes. He glanced at me, but contrived to make it seem a chance thing. I felt tremendous pride in the old man when he said, “An excellent report, Thick. You've given me much to consider. Let us hear the Prince now and then I'll see if I have any questions for you. ”
Thick sat taller in his chair and his chest swelled with such pride that the fabric of his shirt strained across his round belly. His tongue still stuck out of his wide froggy grin, but his little eyes danced as he looked from Dutiful to me to be sure we had noticed his triumph. I wondered when impressing Chade had become so important to him, and then realized that this too was an imitation of his prince.
Dutiful wisely allowed Thick a moment or two to bask in our attention. “Thick has told you most of the story, but let me add a bit. I told you of a great presence. I was—well, not watching—I was experiencing her, or it I suppose, and being slowly drawn closer and closer. It wasn't frightening. I knew it was dangerous, but it was hard to care that I might be absorbed and lost forever. It just didn't seem to matter. Then the presence began to recede. I wanted to pursue it, but at that moment I became aware of something else watching me. And it did not feel so benign. My sensation was that while I'd been contemplating that presence, this other being had crept up on me.