by Jaimey Grant
Adam gave him such a speaking look that Miles chuckled. “Very well. I believe you. It was revenge. But why the sudden house party? And in the middle of the season, no less?”
Adam shrugged. He looked down into his glass of brandy as if the answer might be hidden somewhere in the amber depths. Then he sighed. “Perhaps because I’m still a coward.”
“A coward?” Miles scoffed. “You?”
Adam looked at him with carefully blank eyes. “I’ve always been a coward, Miles. I run from my problems instead of facing them head-on. I try to pretend that they no longer exist instead of trying to solve them. I’m a coward.”
“There is a difference between being a coward and being scared, Adam,” his cousin retorted softly. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters right now. You are planning to see Carly?”
Adam nodded. He couldn’t trust himself to speak. He wanted to tell his cousin and everyone else to go to the devil and leave him be. It was easier to run, he had convinced himself long ago.
Except, now it wasn’t. There was Bri.
“I will see Carly,” he replied finally. “But not yet. I’ll let you know. In the meantime, have Raven attend her.”
“You know, Adam,” Miles said uncomfortably, “it’s not good ton to bring your mistress into your home.”
Adam finished off the liquor in his glass and set it aside, grinning. “Oh, Raven’s not my mistress.” Miles sighed in relief. “She’s Greville’s,” Adam said with a chuckle as he left the room. He was rewarded with a groan from his steward.
Raven did as she was bid and went to meet her new patient as soon as possible. The day after their arrival, in fact. It had been more difficult than she had imagined it would be. Greville had, for some reason, taken exception to her acting as nurse to Mrs. Prestwich.
“You don’t have to, Raven,” he had commented from the doorway of her chamber when she was preparing to go to Adam’s wife.
She turned around. “Of course, I do, Levi. Mrs. Prestwich needs care. She’s beyond the doctor’s help now.”
“I mean,” her protector retorted as he entered the room and closed the door firmly behind him, “you do not have to obey Adam Prestwich anymore. He has no hold over you now.”
Raven had laughed. “He never did, my dear.”
“Are you purposely misunderstanding me?” Greville groaned in frustration. “I don’t want you jumping to do that man’s bidding, Raven. I won’t have it.”
Raven straightened to her full height—which wasn’t much shorter than Greville. She fixed a steely dark-eyed gaze on him. “You…won’t…have…it?” she said slowly and distinctly. Her eyes flashed dangerously.
Greville had never seen Raven in a temper so he hastened his own death with his next words. “Of course I won’t.”
“Who the devil do you think you are, Levi Greville? I’ll tell you who you are,” she answered herself as she stalked up to him, her hands balled into fists on her hips. “You are my protector, chosen by me, and nothing more. I don’t need a protector; I had planned on not taking another one after Adam. So, do not”—she shook an admonitory finger in his face—“tell me what I will and will not do!”
And then she had stormed from the room.
Now, as she entered the Rose chamber allotted to Adam’s wife, she wondered if the earl would drop her. It tore at her heart to even think about it. She was very much afraid she had fallen in love with the impossible young man.
Raven was, once again, playing her role of governess. Her hair was scraped back into a bun and her dress was plain to the point of severity. She bustled into the sick room with all the confidence of her breed.
As she neared the bed, Raven smiled brightly and said, “Hello, Mrs. Prestwich” before she had gotten a good look at the woman in the bed. When she finally took in her appearance, Miss Emerson, the Ebony Swan, gasped and lost all of her carefully cultivated aplomb.
Adam’s wife stared as well. And it was no wonder, Raven thought sympathetically. The woman had probably just reached the same conclusion she had. It was like looking in a mirror. Adam had been much more attached to his wife than he had let on. He had taken a mistress that could have been her twin.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Nearly a week after his arrival, Adam requested Miles to present him to his wife.
Miles was surprised by this request. It was made humbly and with some hesitation, maybe even fear. Adam appeared to be quite upset but not in the way Miles would have thought. He looked almost sad.
Upon entering his wife’s chamber, Adam felt a sense of unreality. It had been well over two years since he had seen her, longer than that since he had married her. She looked up at him from the big bed with the wide amber eyes he remembered so well. They had always reminded him of warm honey.
Lady Carlotta Prestwich greeted her husband in a voice that was low and husky like Raven’s. He realized with a start that Carly was like Raven in many ways. They had the same black hair, the same low voice, the same graceful carriage, and the same height and shape. The differences were actually small. The eyes were different and Raven’s hair was very straight where Carly’s was a riot of curls.
Was, anyway. Now her hair was dull and lank. Her eyes were still bright but there was pain there, too. Her frame was emaciated. He felt very sad that her beauty was so far gone.
He tried to dredge up some of the anger that had sustained him through the years but it was gone forever. He was only sad now.
He approached the bed and sat down beside her. “Why did you do it?” he asked softly.
The woman in the bed fought the tears and lost. They poured down her cheeks and her lips moved soundlessly. He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. This action seemed to increase her distress and Adam began to worry that she might worsen her condition if she didn’t stop soon.
“Carly, you must calm yourself. I have no desire to see you do yourself harm in this way,” he murmured. “Please calm yourself.”
Carly valiantly tried to stifle her tears. She finally succeeded. In a broken voice, she said, “Why did you never ask me to explain then?” Her voice was slightly accented and thick with her tears.
“I was hurt, Carly, obviously,” he replied with a tinge of sarcasm. “Why Steyne? I could have dealt more easily with anyone but him.”
She blanched. “You don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
She tried to answer but her frail body was wracked by a violent fit of coughing. Adam procured a glass of water for her and lifted her up to drink. He was reminded of another young lady he had helped in just such a way and was surprised at the feeling of tenderness that he actually felt for this woman who had betrayed him in the worst possible way. She swallowed the water, thanked him gravely and tried to shrug out of his embrace. He wouldn’t let her.
“Tell me what I don’t know, Carly,” he commanded gently.
“Very well, Adam.” She shifted slightly against him until her cheek rested against his chest. “The first time with Steyne was my fault, I admit. I was seduced by his words and empty promises. But I realized how very much you loved me and tried to break it off. He threatened to kill you or me if I left him. So I stayed. And when you found us, I saw the look on your face and knew you would leave. I was glad. I wanted you to move on with your life, to find somebody worthy of you.
“I admit with shame that I developed an addiction to opium as a way to cope with my sorry life. It was that habit that nearly destroyed my little Calandria.”
“Where is she?”
“She is here, Adam. She is installed in the nursery with your old nurse. She is three years old and walking and talking as much as her mother was wont to do. I am so sorry, Adam. Can you forgive the stupidity of a lonely and selfish girl?”
“I was not a very good husband to you, Carly. I should have talked to you instead of assuming you were with him out of choice.”
“I was with him out of choice in the beginning, Adam. I was one of tho
se females you hated. I was greedy and opportunistic. I treated you badly and you deserved so much better.”
“Carly, you are dying,” Adam said after a few silent moments.
“Yes,” she replied. Her voice was a mere thread of sound.
“Do you forgive me for leaving you?”
“Yes, Adam,” she breathed. “But only if you will forgive me for my unfaithfulness.”
“I forgive you.”
“And my lies, Adam,” she added.
“What lies, sweetheart?”
“About Callie.”
Adam felt his heart skip a beat. “What about Callie?”
But Carly didn’t answer. Her breathing grew labored and her hand tightened spasmodically on his arm. He seemed to feel her slipping away from him. He wanted desperately to know what she was about to tell him about her daughter.
“Carly, love, tell me about Callie,” he commanded hoarsely. “Carly?” He shook her and raised his voice. “Carly?” But he knew it was already too late. Carly was dead.
Adam directed Miles to make funeral arrangements. He also informed his cousin that he would be taking care of Carly’s daughter. Miles had sent him a perplexed look but agreed nonetheless.
Everyone avoided Adam until the day of the funeral. He had been so pensive, so thoughtful that no one had wanted to disturb him. He would wander around the house, ride out on the moors, and sit at the piano in the music room, displaying a talent that no one had even suspected.
Bri would have worried if she hadn’t sensed that he was at peace within himself despite his odd silence. She assumed he had had a chance to talk with his wife before she died and she was glad. He had to put his feelings of guilt behind him if he were to achieve any sort of happiness in his life.
Adam didn’t realize all the speculation he was causing. He was too lost in thought. She had been about to tell him something about Callie. She said she had lied. He remembered her telling him during one of their many fights that the baby wasn’t his. Was that the lie? Dare he hope?
He found it too painful to hope for that. And he couldn’t bring himself to visit the little girl. He had told Miles at the funeral that he wanted the child to stay but she was to be kept from his sight. He just couldn’t bear to see her and find that she looked just like Steyne.
Thinking of the viscount caused a spasm of rage. Damn, but he should have killed the bastard when he had had the chance!
He was sitting at the piano one day playing in a desultory fashion when the doors opened to admit Bri. She paused on the threshold and just stared at him. He just stared back.
How much time passed in this fashion was anyone’s guess. But suddenly, Adam was standing stiffly and Bri was hugging him as if trying to disappear into him. He hugged her back, ignoring the stiffness in his leg and the soreness of his ribs.
“Talk to me, Adam,” she said against his chest. “Tell me what has you wandering the house like a specter. Tell me what happened before Carlotta died.”
With a sigh, Adam walked over to a sofa in the corner. He lowered them onto it without releasing her. He actually lifted her and settled her in his lap. She made no protest, cuddling into him instead.
He told her in a low voice all about his marriage, how it was Steyne who had been with his wife, how the bastard had tricked her, and how Adam had abandoned Carly to her fate along with her unborn child. He told her of his very last meeting with his wife, how she had died in his arms and despite the fact that he had not loved her the way she needed, a part of him had still died with her.
When he explained Carly’s last words and how she had been unable to tell him what she had lied about, Bri sat up and stared at him in amazement.
“Do you mean you have not been to see little Callie yet?”
“No,” he replied. “I couldn’t bear the thought of her looking just like Steyne.”
“Oh, my dearest,” the countess breathed. She leaned forward and touched her lips to his briefly, very gently. Then she smiled. “Come with me, Adam.”
She took his good hand and led him from the room, up the stairs and to the nursery on the fourth floor. When he realized where she was going, he held back.
Bri stopped and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Do you trust me, Adam?” She asked gently.
“Yes,” he said without hesitation. And he was very surprised to realize it was true.
“Then come with me. As soon as you see Callie, you will see what I saw and all your worries will vanish.”
Her words did not reassure him but he followed her anyway. The nurse stood up upon their entrance and curtsied awkwardly.
“Master Adam, my lady, what can I do for you?”
Adam’s brows lifted at the woman’s greeting and then he smiled. She had been his nurse when he was a child and he had actually not seen her for many years. Probably close to twenty-five, in fact. She still looked exactly the same as he remembered her.
“Is Callie awake, Mrs. Bowers?” Bri asked.
“Yes, my lady,” the old woman replied with a smile. “And expecting you for the past hour. She is in her room getting something she wanted to show you.”
“Wonderful.” Bri smiled. “Adam has come to make her acquaintance.”
The old woman nodded and smiled. “I will leave you alone with her then, my lady.” She curtsied again to them both and left the room.
“Is this really necessary?” Adam asked his beloved. “Cannot you just tell me what it is I am about to discover?”
Bri smiled enigmatically and released him. She crossed the room and disappeared through a door on the other side. After a few moments, she returned with a very small, black-haired girl in her arms. The little girl giggled at something Bri said and Adam found the sound enchanting even though he tried desperately to harden his heart against the pain he knew was coming.
Then they were before him and Bri asked him if he would like to hold her. He noticed the child looked down at her hands the whole time. He shook his head.
“I insist,” Bri said happily as she switched Callie from her arms to his. He took her reluctantly and glared suspiciously at Bri. That young woman just grinned in obvious delight.
“Sir Adam, allow me to introduce you to Miss Callie Prestwich. Your daughter.”
Adam sent her a half-angry look. She smiled brightly, completely calm. Then she redirected her attention to Callie. “Look up at your father, dear.”
Callie lifted her head and Adam gazed into eyes the color of a storm washed sea. They were wide and bright, gray-green just like his own. And she was the spitting image of his youngest sister. He felt a lump form in his throat and he had to swallow hard against the threat of tears.
He failed miserably. Hugging the little girl to him, he cried even as he smiled. Bri cried too and he gathered her to him as well.
“Thank you,” he whispered to no one in particular.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Callie was quickly a favorite among Adam’s guests. Connor and Verena’s twins were delighted by the company in spite of their being so much younger. Verena was delighted with another child to mother although she never overstepped what she considered Bri’s authority. Bri had already fallen in love with the child even before introducing her to her father.
Connor’s sisters, Gwen and Jenny, spent nearly as much time in the nursery as Bri and Verena. They were nineteen and everything to do with children was their secret delight. Raven visited often but she was usually found in company with the duchess, which was a surprise to everyone except Connor and Denbigh. Greville was young enough to find children somewhat bewildering and more than a little annoying. So he spent most of his visit with the duke discussing everything from politics to farming.
Adam, who now used his title since Verena had accidentally let Bri in on the secret and that young lady insisted that he use it, tried to stay away from the nursery. But his steps invariably led him there. He would stand in the child’s room while she was sleeping and just stare at her in wonder and regr
et the lost years with her.
He was glad he had come home to see Carly before she died. A great weight had lifted from his shoulders. He knew even after her apology that he had never really been in love with her. His love for Bri seemed to make his feelings for Carly pale in comparison.
He had not yet discussed with Bri his feelings for her. He wanted to marry her more than anything, immediately, but he was unsure of himself and her. He should be in mourning for his dead wife. And he was, actually. But Carly had told him that she had wanted him to move on years ago. Carly had known that he had moved on. How could she not?
A few weeks after Carly’s death, Adam’s guests decided it was time to return to Denbigh. They included Adam and Callie in their plans to leave as well as Bri and Greville. The twins insisted that Raven be included in the invitation and were so persistent that Lady Denbigh finally agreed just to have a little peace. It helped that the duchess was impressed with Raven’s air of gentility, as well. Adam went along with their plans as he had ever since the death of his wife. He offered no argument, no resistance, and no complaint. He just went.
His reaction worried everyone. Adam was no longer the cynical, sardonic Adam that everyone had come to know and love. He seemed to have retreated into himself and no one knew what he was thinking since he refused to talk to anyone.
The twins thought that perhaps he had loved his wife very much indeed and didn’t want to face life without her. Connor wondered if Adam’s feelings for his wife had been stronger than he had thought. Verena was a little closer to the truth. She thought Adam carried a feeling of guilt around him like a shroud and instead of forgiving himself for whatever action it was he was ashamed of, he wallowed in it. The duchess was inclined to stay out of Adam’s troubles and Bri was just too worried about him to do aught else.
Everyone hoped that things would change upon their arrival at Denbigh Castle. Unfortunately, after placing his daughter in the nursery under the care of the loyal Mrs. Bowers, Adam retreated to his apartments and was rarely seen by the other occupants of the castle.