by Nancy Warren
He grinned at the picture in his head. He could take it.
In fact, he looked forward to showing up with Lauren on his arm. She was, he was beginning to realize, the best thing that had ever happened to him.
He just needed to be very careful not to screw it up or he could lose her. He’d never had counseling after his parents were killed, but he was beginning to realize that the reason he’d never had a girlfriend longer than a year, the reason he pushed women away when they got too close, was that he was terrified of loving and losing again.
Now that he’d fallen in love with Lauren, he was determined to do everything he could to treat her carefully. He recognized that she was like him. She was as scared of getting hurt as he was. Maybe more so. He’d take it easy. Go slowly. Ease her into the idea of them as a couple.
So, he refrained from calling her as much as he wanted to. He’d left a stupid-ass note. That was bad enough. She needed a little space so she could see he could love her without needing to be with her 24/7.
He could love her.
And if the world was a just and decent place, she could love him back.
He simply needed to play his cards carefully and it could all work out.
He focused on work. Went for a run after his day was done. Wondered how Lauren was doing and once more resisted the urge to call her.
Play it cool, he reminded himself. He thought Tuesday evening would be the time. She would have had a couple of days to work uninterrupted, and maybe she’d want to talk to him. He liked the idea of a casual after-work phone call. He might feel her out, see if she was open to the idea of going to Seth and Amy’s housewarming together.
He then spent a fruitless hour online. Seth and Amy already owned pretty much everything they’d asked for in their wedding gift registry. There were a few items remaining, but he could not call himself a man and show up to their place with silver pickle forks.
His fingers itched to call Lauren. First, because she might have some ideas on what he could get. Second, because he really had to tell someone about the pickle forks.
Somehow, while he was on the gift registry site, he ended up in the jewelry section. How could there possibly be that many styles of engagement rings? He scanned solitaires, cluster rings, rings that featured a colored stone, like an emerald or a sapphire or a ruby, surrounded by diamonds.
A woman who worked with stained glass might like a colored stone. He pictured her with a ruby, thought it would suit her coloring. When he found himself seriously picturing his ring on her finger, he knew he’d made a fool of himself big-time. How many times had he told her he was never getting married?
And now he couldn’t imagine not marrying her.
How he’d gone from pickle forks to engagement rings, he’d never know, but he knew which one he’d rather buy. As for Seth and Amy, they had a fancy wine fridge installed in their kitchen. He supposed a couple of decent bottles would be as good a gift as anything. At least he could show up with wine and still feel manly. Of course, wine made him think of Napa, and that made him think of Lauren.
He was tired enough from the weekend and the early morning that he’d assumed he’d sleep like the dead. But, in fact, when he got into bed it felt cold. A little lonely.
He’d only spent a weekend with the woman. How could he miss her in his bed so keenly?
Punching the pillow didn’t help. Deep breathing didn’t help. In the end he flipped on the TV and watched a twenty-four-hour news channel for a while. Then he flipped to a golf game. That was slow moving enough that he ought to fall asleep.
The phone woke him. He was disoriented at first, wondering who was in his bedroom talking, then realized he’d fallen asleep with the TV on. He flipped it off even as he grabbed his cell phone, a smile chasing away his sleepiness. He knew who was calling. Who but Lauren would phone him at 5:30 in the morning? Who else knew he was usually up this early? He’d been right not to push her. Now she was calling him.
“Morning, gorgeous,” he said into the phone. “I missed you last night.”
Silence greeted him and he had the sinking sensation that it wasn’t Lauren on the phone. He hadn’t even bothered to look at call display, fool that he was. “Jackson, it’s Amy.”
He sat up, suddenly alert, his heart thudding as visions of car wrecks slammed him. For he heard panic in her voice, and that could only mean disaster. And for him, disaster would always present itself first as a car wreck. “What’s wrong with Seth?” He needed to know the worst right away.
“I don’t know,” she wailed. “I was hoping he was with you.”
He rubbed a hand across his face. If Seth had lied to Amy and said they were together, then he needed to tread carefully. Oh, he’d pound Seth senseless when he caught up to him, but there was a code involved here. “When did you last see him?”
“Last night! He said you two were playing squash and then he never came home.”
“You tried his cell?”
“Of course I tried his cell. He’s not answering.” Her voice rose, a combination of fury and panic. “If he’s not with you, then where the hell is he?”
The code only went so far. If Seth was in trouble or sick or in the hospital or something, he wouldn’t help his friend by lying. “He’s not here.”
“Oh, God. What if something’s happened to him?”
What if he’s sound asleep in the arms of another woman?
“I’m calling the police.”
“No. Don’t do that. Not yet.” The last thing he wanted was for Seth to be humiliated. For his father, also his employer, to find out...whatever there was to find out. And at this point, it was nothing. “Look. If he was in trouble or in the hospital or something, you’d know. He has ID on him. Someone would have called you.”
“What if he was mugged? Or murdered? And his wallet and ID were stolen? And there’s no one to identify him.”
He spoke soothingly. “Here’s what I want you to do. Make some tea. Try to stay calm. Keep your phone with you in case he calls. I’m going to start calling Seth’s buddies. What do you bet he ran into an old friend on his way home and stopped off for a few drinks? You know what a lightweight he is. He’s probably passed out somewhere and he’d be super embarrassed if you made a big fuss.”
“But what about work? What will I say if his father calls?”
“Maybe, if it’s his dad, don’t answer the phone. Look, I’ll get right on this. We’ve got a few hours. I bet he crawls home soon, hungover and sorry for himself.”
“You really think so?”
“Yes.” At least he hoped so.
He dragged himself out of bed, wished for a shower and plodded to the kitchen, where he put coffee on. Then he tried to think. If he were Seth, where would he go?
The fact that he’d lied about where he was going last night seemed pretty suspicious, but Seth was not a devious guy. At least he never had been. Jackson would have sworn that Seth was the last man to have an affair, especially when he’d been so crazy about Amy. But if he wasn’t with another woman, then where the hell was he? And where had he been all night?
He picked up the phone. He’d call Seth. That seemed the best place to start. Maybe he hadn’t picked up when Amy called because he knew he was in deep shit. But for his old buddy? If Seth was in any shape to answer the phone, Jackson had to believe he’d answer to him.
He barely had the phone in his hand when his intercom buzzer went.
He was across the room in a second. “Yeah.”
“It’s Seth.”
“Thank God. Come on up.”
When Seth arrived he looked awful. Pale, rumpled, scared. He wore athletic shorts and a shirt suitable for playing squash, which pissed Jackson off. He didn’t want to be the guy’s alibi.
The second he walked in, Seth said, “You have to help me. Tell Amy I was here all night.”
“Sorry, dude. She already called.”
Seth lost all the color in his face. He was unshaven, bleary eyed and his usua
lly styled hair was a mess. His clothes were creased. As though he’d slept in them. “I told her I was with you.”
“I know. That’s why she called here.”
The coffee was ready so he turned back to his galley kitchen and poured two mugs of strong coffee. He figured they both needed it. Seth’s hand shook a little as he picked up his mug with a muttered, “Thanks.”
“I covered for you for last night. I let her believe we’d played squash, but I couldn’t lie and say you were here all night. What if you were really in trouble?”
“No. You’re right. I get it.” He looked up at Jackson with appeal. “I don’t know what to do.”
“First thing you’d better do is call your wife. She’s worried sick. I think I talked her out of calling the cops, but I’m not sure.”
Seth grabbed his phone. Stood looking at it. “I don’t know what to tell her.”
19
THE RINGING PHONE dragged Lauren out of a very nice dream. She blinked sleepily. Wow. Her first night without Jackson beside her in bed, and she’d dreamed about him. A very hot dream. Her clock told her it was just after five-thirty. She only knew one person who got up that early. She rolled over, feeling sexy and wonderful. She picked up the phone. “You’d better have a good excuse for calling me so early. I was having the best dream.”
“Lauren, it’s me,” a very panicked, very female voice cried.
Okay, not Jackson. She sat up knowing that Amy calling her this early could not be good news. “What is it?”
“Seth never came home last night.” And then her best friend, the person she’d loved like a sister for the better part of two decades, burst into tears. “I don’t know what to do. He’s been acting so strange and then last night he went to play squash with Jackson and he never came home.”
“Did you call Jackson?”
“Yes. Seth’s not there. Jackson said not to panic, he’s going to try and find Seth, but I can’t stand it. I’m climbing out of my skin. What if he’s dead or in the hospital with amnesia?” She caught herself on a sob. “Or what if he’s with another woman?”
“Don’t move.” She was already throwing her legs out of bed. “I’m on my way.” She doubted very much that Seth had amnesia, unless it was the kind of amnesia where you forgot you were married.
“Should I call the police?”
She considered that for a second. “No. Not yet. If he’s in some kind of trouble, you’ll get a call.”
“That’s what Jackson said, too.”
“Well, two smart people can’t be wrong. Try not to worry. I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
“Thank you.”
As she stuffed herself into clothes, and grabbed her bag and phone, Lauren had never so regretted living an hour’s drive away from her best friend. And that was if the traffic cooperated.
She drove as fast as she dared, pausing only once to hit a drive-through coffee shop to buy a venti dark roast to keep her awake.
When she arrived at Amy and Seth’s, she got out of her car and paused. If there was some kind of marital crisis going on between them, she had to be careful sticking herself in the middle. Her job was to support Amy. She had to remember that, even though she was so angry with Seth she could belt him one.
It was six forty-five in the morning. Lights were on in most of the houses in the neighborhood. A BMW pulled out from the driveway next door and a guy in a suit sent her a curious stare. Well, if she didn’t want to get arrested for vagrancy, she’d better move.
After taking a deep fortifying breath, she headed for the front door.
She knocked and less than a minute later, Amy opened the door. She looked awful. Tearstained and frightened and angry. Her usually perfect hair was a mess, her pajamas splattered with coffee.
Lauren opened her arms and Amy fell into them. “Thank you for coming. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“I’m always here for you. Like you are for me.”
“I know.”
“Have you heard from him?”
“Yeah. He hardly said anything, only that he was on his way.”
“Well, that’s good, right? He’s not in the morgue or the hospital.”
Amy didn’t look as relieved as she might have. “Which narrows down the possibilities of where he was all night. I’m voting for he was with another woman.”
If there were a polling booth, Lauren would be ticking the yes box on that one, too.
“Before he shows up, why don’t you wash your face and put on some clothes? You’ll feel a lot better not facing him in your pajamas.”
Her eyes widened. “You’re right. I was so upset I spilled my coffee all over myself.”
“I’ll make you some fresh coffee while you get dressed. Then I’m going. This is between the two of you.”
“No. Please don’t go. I need you here for support. If that rat bastard’s sleeping with someone else, then out he goes. I’m serious. You know what I’ve been doing since he called?”
Packing his things would be her first guess.
“Searching the internet for divorce lawyers.”
“Well, don’t make any calls yet. Now go get dressed.”
As she brewed coffee in the fancy new machine in the fancy new kitchen in the fancy new house, she wondered what was going to happen. Maybe Seth wouldn’t have been her choice, but he was Amy’s. And he’d hurt her best friend. She wanted to take the gleaming, razor-sharp carving knife out of the fancy new carving set and shred Seth into ribbons for wrecking Amy’s dream marriage.
Amy was back almost as soon as the coffee was ready. If she didn’t look her usual self, she looked a lot better in a pair of black trousers and a black top. Her face was pale without makeup, but she’d brushed her hair. In all that black she looked as though she were going to a funeral. Maybe that was the point.
While they drank coffee, Amy ranted. And Lauren, like a good friend, listened.
Before long, they heard the front door open and slam shut. Lauren reached over and laid her hand on Amy’s forearm. “Before you start yelling, hear what he has to say.”
Amy pressed her lips together hard and nodded.
Seth walked into the kitchen looking pale and scared. He wore some kind of tennis outfit, which made him look like a truant schoolkid. To Lauren’s surprise, Jackson was with him.
Their gazes caught and she felt her heart bump against her ribs. He gave her the ghost of a smile, and then turned to Amy, who was glaring at her husband without saying a word. “I’m here because Seth asked me to come in with him, but you say the word and I’m out of here.”
“Me, too,” she agreed. Fervently hoping the newlyweds would give them both the boot.
But both of them shook their heads.
There was silence. Seth didn’t even sit down. He stood there, looking foolish and lost. Amy continued to glare. Lauren had no idea what to do. Jackson took charge. “I say, let’s all get some coffee and take this into the living room.”
“Don’t you have to go to work?” she asked him.
He shook his head. “I called in. Took the day off.”
She nodded, recognizing that she’d likely be taking the day off, too. “I’ll get the coffee,” she said, accepting the role of assistant mediator in this strained mess of a marriage.
Seth finally found his voice. “Amy?” He gestured to the living room.
“Yeah. Okay.” She rose and stalked into the living room. Seth followed.
Jackson stayed behind a moment. “How mad is she?”
“While she waited for me to get here she was researching divorce lawyers on the internet,” she whispered. “Where was he?”
Jackson shook his head. “He hasn’t said. I’m glad you’re here.” He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
Why didn’t you call me? she wanted to snap, but thought maybe a guy not calling for one day rated pretty low on the scale compared to the fledgling marriage imploding in the other room.
She found a t
ray, a wedding gift probably being used for the first time, and put two fresh mugs on it. She filled them with fresh coffee and topped up hers and Amy’s. When she opened the fridge, she found cartons of both milk and coffee cream. She poured some of each into two of the cream jugs. Amy seemed to have a lot of cream and sugar sets. She knew she was stalling for time. She did not want to face this. There was both white sugar and fancy Italian coffee sugar already in bowls, so she added those to the tray along with some silver coffee spoons. Jackson hefted the tray and they walked into the living room.
Amy had chosen to sit in one of the armchairs. Seth sat across from her on the couch.
By unspoken agreement, she took the chair beside her friend and Jackson placed the tray on the coffee table, then sat beside Seth.
She’d often heard the expression “you could cut the silence with a knife,” but she thought this one needed a jackhammer.
She put the cream and fancy sugar into Amy’s coffee since she knew exactly how she liked it. She even stirred the brew for her friend. She passed her the mug and patted her knee in support. She passed Jackson a mug, knowing he liked it black.
“Seth? Cream and sugar?”
“One cream. One sugar.”
“Right.” She felt as though she were putting on a one-woman show since she was the only one doing anything and the other three all seemed to be watching her.
She passed Seth his coffee. Took her own and sat back down beside Amy.
Finally, Seth said, “It’s not what you think.”
Amy replied, “Where the hell were you all night?”
While everyone stared at him, waiting for an answer, Seth grew red in the face and shuffled uncomfortably. One of his sports socks had slipped down his ankle. “I was sitting in my car, outside your old apartment. I fell asleep.”
Whatever Lauren had been expecting, and admittedly the range was pretty narrow, she’d never imagined that.
Amy said, “You were doing what?”
Seth leaned forward and looked down at the floor. “I know it’s stupid. I go there and look up at the window where you used to live. And I remember how it was before, you know.”