by Lucy Lyons
My wolf railed inside me, stalking and pressing against my skin, aching for one taste of the powerful garnet liquid. I pushed it back harder and this time, Henny’s eyes widened as she muttered a spell that seemed to shrink the power of the circle in around me until it felt like a cage.
Caroline splashed a little blood on the floor as she picked up the bowl and stood, then more as she went around the circle, until she was facing me again and the scent of her blood was cloying in my nose and throat and the beast raged until it felt like the metaphysical creature was clawing my physical insides to shreds. And I knew it could. I’d forced men to shift and watched the monster crawl out of their soft bellies, leaving the man form behind like a shell as the beast within broke free.
Too late, it dawned on me that I’d walked right into a trap laid by my hosts, who would force me into an animal form and could, if I wasn’t strong enough to prevent it, send me back to Baton Rouge with my tail between my legs . . .literally.
The pain of the magic attacking me, knifing through my skin and pulling me apart dragged a gasp from my throat and a scream. I heard howls outside the door and felt Goldie’s frantic heartbeat inside my head and her fear for me drew me back to myself enough to push the beast down again, though not nearly deeply enough to stop them from forcing the change on me with another wave of power.
I smelled the alpha as the cottage door opened, and members of the pack pacing outside in their wolf form, snarling and snapping at Goldie, pushing her back as Clay joined us in the room.
“Where are we at?” he asked as Caroline added herbs to the remnants of the blood in the bowl.
“He’s strong, Clay, strong enough that I’m going to need your blood, and your power to make this work.”
“Shit.” The alpha crouched down next to the witch and tipped his head to the side, meeting my eyes. “You hang in there, buddy. Just keep fighting, and when you can’t anymore, we’ll catch you. You won’t be able to leave the ring, you won’t hurt anybody, OK?”
“Things you could’ve told me before we started,” I hissed and doubled over in pain as Caroline sliced Clay across the pad of his thumb and pressed the wound to the glowing symbols in front of him.
“Nope. Needed you fighting your hardest, alpha-wolf,” Caroline chided me. “Now you have to fight the alpha, and I’ve never seen anyone hold their human form when he doesn’t want them to. You do that, you can go home with a shiny new shield to keep your beast behind.”
“If I fail?”
“We go to plan B.” She managed a wan smile, but I could see that the magic was costing her dearly. “We won’t let you go without something to protect you, OK?”
The beast that had been crawling its way out my throat was shocked just enough by her sincerity that I pushed it down again but so weakly I knew I would not stay human at even the slightest push from Clay. I bellowed my anger and frustration at the ceiling and slammed my fists into the floor splintering wood and driving the pieces into my hands. My blood joined theirs and the circle of power flared to life with a flash of light too bright too bear.
I threw my arms over my head and collapsed to the floor, shielding my face from the magical supernova I’d accidentally set off in the tiny space, and prayed that the humans hadn’t been damaged in the blast.
All around us was silence. The wolves had ceased their bickering outside the door and while I could sense them there, no one moved or made a sound. Even Goldie was still, but I could see the outline of her power behind my eyelids and knew she was nearby.
When I finally moved my arms away from my face I blinked rapidly, expecting the room to be too bright to stand, but it was dark, even the candles that Henny had lit were out, wisps of smoke dancing from the cooling wicks. Clay was staring at me with his eyebrows up in his hairline, and Caroline had been rocked back onto her butt, where she sat cross-legged, her forearms resting on her knees.
“Your arms are healed,” I rasped, my throat still raw from the magic and screaming. I must have been badly damaged for it to still hurt, but as I felt healing move through my body, I knew the throat was the least of my concerns.
“Your legs aren’t,” she replied, and I glanced at my thighs, covered in angry red burns.
“What in the name of hell did you do to me?” my throat was less tight, but my words still came out in a growl.
“We put you through a fight for your life,” Clay answered for her as she watched me, and I noticed her eyes tighten as though she could feel the pain in my body. That’s because she can, he continued silently, and I flinched at the sound of his voice in my head. Don’t worry, we’re not bonded, I’m just telepathic, a little.
“Shit, you people are even weirder than I thought,” I coughed and spit out blood. “How bad do I look, really?”
“Like three-day old barbeque left out in the sun,” Caroline observed drily. Her tone made me laugh aloud and the pain sent me into another coughing fit.
“Y’all put me in this circle so I couldn’t kill you if I survived, huh?”
“That too.” Clay crossed over the line of symbols as if it were nothing and sat beside me. “Of course, we blew the circle to hell, so it wouldn’t have been much protection if you felt a little murderous.”
I shook my head and took the hand he offered, righting myself. “Nah. I feel like I almost died, but my wolf is squarely locked away, for sure.”
“Yeah, well, from the way your shields are locked in, and the damage you took . . .” Caroline sighed. “I’m sorry for that, Orson, it was arrogant of me to assume you were weaker than we are. I know better than to make such stupid mistakes, but you feel so young in my head, I just . . .”
“I’m only twenty-three, witch, I’m supposed to feel young, ain’t I?” Clay laughed and Caroline looked chagrined.
“Well, you are all young to us, and I didn’t expect you to hold out either,” Henny broke in from the corner of the room. “Just between us, that Thaddeus character has a good reason to fear you. Even if he’s stronger than you,” she said, “and perish that thought, even if he’s stronger, I can’t imagine his will is nearly as great.”
“She’s right,” Clay added. “I would’ve gone wolf. Anyone in camp would’ve.” He glanced around and scoffed. “Hell, Caroline would’ve gone wolf, and she’s never been bitten.”
I chuckled and was relieved to note that it was painless. The red rash of burns across my legs had faded and I felt almost normal again. “Your magic is more painful than the bokor, our witch, back home.” I shook out my legs, flinching automatically when my ankles crossed the blue symbols on the floor, but their magic was spent and they didn’t even shimmer as I stretched out.
I was so focused on the sensations of my body I didn’t realize I’d shut Goldie out too, until the dull thuds of a large furry body against the door of the cottage became a golden blur flying through it. She leaped over Clay and Caroline and landed on top of me bowling me over backward so I was laid out flat underneath her as she licked my face and snuffled my hair and neck and chest and counting my fingers with her tongue like a worried mother making sure I was whole.
Moments later, when she’d calmed down enough to see I was OK, she whirled on her alpha and Caroline and stood over me, with her tail tucked low so it brushed my chin as she growled at them.
“I’m going to let you handle it, Clay,” Caroline huffed, and I looked around Goldie’s hind legs to see the witch push herself backward with her hands and feet so she was sitting with her back resting against the leg of the table. She looked completely relaxed, but I knew if Goldie moved even a hair, that table would come flying at us and Caroline would be on her feet and ready for the attack.
Goldie, I silently called to her but couldn’t break through the shielding I’d been forced to put up to protect myself from the onslaught, and had to settle for placing my hand on one quivering thigh, her muscles tight as springs beneath her thick coat.
“Goldie,” I said, grateful that my voice had returned to normal, �
�simmer down, Cherie.”
She stopped growling but I could feel the tendons under my hand vibrating with the effort to control her rage and not leap at the other woman’s throat. I glanced at Clay for him to control his wolf. His face was drawn in concentration, beads of sweat forming on his forehead and temples.
“Sorry Orson, she’s all yours now. I can’t even get through to her on any substantial level.”
“Well, neither can I, since you forced me to build the Great Wall of China in my head without teaching me how to take it down again.”
Clay’s lip curled, but he didn’t argue. “Sorry man, we had a limited amount of time and had to spring it on you. Telling you about it would’ve lessened your feeling of danger.”
“Maybe you should’ve still told her.”
“Point taken.” He cleared his throat and roared. It was a sound I would’ve expected from a lion, not a wolf, but it had the desired effect of startling Goldie into giving him her attention. When she turned, I felt her leg relax just enough that I knew she’d gone out of kill mode. I gave him a small nod to continue and he barked sharply at her. Instantly, she sat, and I made a whooshing sound as she dropped her butt on my stomach and forced all the air out of me.
“Yeah, mate, I think we’re good,” Clay laughed. He gave me a wink and sauntered out of the cabin. “But I’d like to see you try leaving now.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Caroline and the others followed Clay’s lead and vacated the cabin, leaving me prone with a disgruntled wolf on my chest that I was unable to communicate with. As the professor closed the door behind him, I shoved on her rear, encouraging her to move, but she warned me to stop with a low growl and a baleful glare of her amber eyes over her shoulder. There were fangs showing too, but I didn’t believe she was that angry. Then those eyes narrowed at me and she spun around, and shifted so that she was straddling me wearing nothing but a frown.
“What the hell were you thinking?” she finally sputtered. “I, all I felt was pain and rage and the next thing I know, half the pack is in wolf form and I want to be too.”
“I heard you outside, felt you too, at first. But the magic was too much and I had to shut everything out.”
“I thought Caroline was killing you.”
I pulled her down to my chest and held her close. “I’m sure she thought of it at some point, but no, nothing they did was going to kill me.” I thought for a moment, feeling her heart slow down as I cradled her against my chest. “If I’d changed and gone berserk, I don’t think any of them would’ve hesitated, though.” It occurred to me that I’d never been in a place where my people would’ve hesitated to kill me, taken that extra, precarious second to wonder if there was another choice.
“They wouldn’t have hesitated, no,” she whispered. “But they would’ve hated having to do it, and we would have grieved the loss of a great alpha and good friend.”
“But we’re not friends, are we, Goldie?”
“You could’ve forced me to go with you the moment you were freed. Part of me wanted you to, just to absolve me of the responsibility of making a hard choice with no good outcome.”
She pushed up onto her forearms and looked at me. “You’re leaving me here, aren’t you?”
I nodded and tucked her long, silky hair back over her shoulder, dragging my fingertips over her skin as I did. “It’s too dangerous to take you back. Porter is probably already dead. I will be the moment I set foot in the ritual space.”
My body was too exhausted to show her how much I appreciated her naked body against me, but I pulled her face down to mine and I kissed her, softly, then harder as she shifted and pressed her knees against my hips.
“Then don’t go. Let us send an emissary to retrieve Porter, tell them that you’ve joined our pack as a condition of me accepting you as my mate.”
I laughed and held her as I rolled us both so she was under me, and she wrapped her legs around my waist and clung to me as I sat up on my knees. “Thaddeus would think me weak, he might even send more of his men to hunt me, and you, if he decided that.” I kissed her again, soundly, and smacked her bare bottom before releasing her and standing.
“You think this is funny?”
I shook my head and slipped my pants on, pulling them up while I chose what to say next. “We’re an old tribe, Goldie, and Thaddeus hasn’t always been in power. My father would’ve taken over in time, but that was stolen from him. Someone has to make Thaddeus step down before whatever’s wrong with him infects them all. It’s violent and unforgiving, but that’s life as a shape shifter.
“That’s what my old alpha used to say to justify keeping us in cages and forcing us to sleep with his lieutenants.” She shook her hair out over her face and body and hugged herself, her arms across her chest like she was hiding herself from me. “That isn’t the right way to be a pack.
Without thinking, my palms slapped the table next to my shirt and I cursed under my breath. “Not every pack that does things the old way is full of perverts and psychopaths, Goldie. My grandfather led us with pride and tradition, my father would have as well.”
“Maybe, and maybe you would too. But I won’t ever let one wolf decide my fate again.”
“You’re one wolf, Goldie, and ain’t nobody on earth going to decide your fate but you.” I jerked the shirt over my head and shoved my arms through the sleeves, tearing one in the process.
She tossed her hair and peered at me through the veil it created. “Do I say thank you, or tell you to fuck yourself?” she asked. She closed the distance between us and played with the fabric hanging from my shoulder. “We have clothes that are suited for shifting in. They’re much harder to ruin. I’ll have Clay send you with some.”
The finality in her voice made me ache where my own decision to leave hadn’t. I knew it was the right choice, but it hurt that as a wolf she’d been willing to take on the most powerful creatures she knew to protect me but as a human couldn’t wait to be rid of me.
With a nod I let her lead the way out, half expecting to be jumped outside by the pack members I’d forced to into an unscheduled change as I’d tried to protect myself. Instead, we were greeted by some packmates in wolf form playing together in the sunshine as others in their human form watched us with a kind of detached curiosity that told me they were used to much stranger shows of magic than what I’d just been part of.
Clay and Bernie sat on folding chairs outside the main house with beers in their hands and a cooler between them as we approached. The alphas both gave me knowing looks at the sight of my torn shirt and Bernie held out a beer for me.
“We have better clothes for you to take with you, Orson,” he offered—and I chuckled.
“Goldie mentioned it.”
“Perhaps a gift would soften your alpha’s disposition?” Ash came out of the door and smiled at us, her hands splayed on her belly to support the babies inside as she walked.
I shook my head, no and took the beer. “If I wasn’t planning to dethrone him, maybe. But to show up with a gift like a Trojan horse would be dishonorable, and us southern boys must always be honorable.”
“Of course,” she sighed and glanced at her husband. “It seems to be a common thread among shifters. But I still have a few things being set aside for you to take with you, as well as some of our homemade jerky and some of Bernie’s whiskey.”
“Corn liquor, Ash, don’t try to pretty it up, I’m sure this boy’s been around a still or two.” I chuckled and drank my beer slowly, knowing that I’d never see that kind of camaraderie in a pack again. It wasn’t the teasing that made it different, I’d been picked on by older packmates for as long as I could remember and given as good as I got once I learned how. But I knew I’d never recreate the feeling of this new pack without help. They were as much a family as my brother was to me, and that seemed an impossible task in a pack as old and fraught with paranoia as mine.
“I’ll finish this beer and be out of your hair, Ms. Ash.” I tipped the bott
le toward her and then drained it before setting the bottle in the recycling bin for glass they had up against the wall. “Back home, we’d tie some of these into the trees and make them into wind chimes. The glass is real pretty when the light shines on them just right.” I glanced back at the trio and shook my head. “Don’t know why I figured that would be interesting to you.”
“I used to always stall when my breaks were over and I had to leave my mom’s to go back to school,” Ash offered. “It means that you like it here.”
“What’s not to like?” I replied, ignoring the tightness in my throat. “The woman I’m meant to be with is here, you’ve got rare steaks and cold beer, and no one wants me dead, or I would be already,” I half-joked.
“I wish you would accept more of our help,” Ash complained. “Let us send someone with you. We’ve dealt with kings who’ve been on their thrones too long before.”
I gathered my things and went back out to them, still in the same spots I’d left them, but they’d been joined by Caroline and the pack, even Henny and the professor. Everyone but Goldie was there to see me off. The numb, tingling sensation the magic had left me with was fading, and I tried to get a sense of where she was, but all I felt was her anger and confusion, somewhere in the woods just out of sight.
Ashlynn had set a stack of the clothes her pack was so proud of by my duffel bag and the assorted food items she’d rattled off, and I dutifully packed them and slung it across my back but kept on the shirt with the torn sleeve as I walked out the door and down to the outdoor fire pit. The pack would see me leave the way I came, not showing any handouts or ill-gotten gains of their friendship. I wished I’d had time to bring gifts for their alphas so I could change and keep my self-respect, but as with every other intersection with the pack since my arrival, being chased across the country hadn’t left me time for it.