by Anna Martin
Still, there was no denying the two of them were lovers. Hadley certainly knew, so he didn’t have a ready excuse to get out of the big family dinner. Also, Adam didn’t seem opposed to the idea, so Jared decided to go with it.
They had gone their own ways after school on Friday, parting with only a brief kiss and a “see you later.” Jared wondered if he could ask Adam what he should wear, then decided he would almost certainly be made fun of if he did, so he wasn’t going to bother.
After finishing his homework for the weekend, Jared dragged himself into the shower and stood under the hot spray for as long as possible. He ran his hand over his jaw, decided he could get away with not shaving again, and went back to his room to stand in front of his open closet and pout at what was there.
He still had the white striped shirt from the white party which was nice, but Adam had seen him in it. Plus, white and the danger of spilling things made him wary. In the end, with the clock ticking down, he pulled out a dark red button-down Oxford shirt his grandma had bought him for Christmas and paired it with dark jeans. He used unscented deodorant, a habit he’d picked up when living in dorms with other teenage boys. The last thing he wanted was to smell like a teenage boy.
Instead, he slicked a tiny amount of expensive cologne on his throat and styled his hair with something he’d found in Adam’s bathroom. The small black pot contained a goo that was perfect for mussing his hair, and he’d used it for a few days before deciding to invest in his own. After one trip to three different drugstores and a supermarket, he gave in and called Adam to ask where he’d got it. Adam had laughed down the phone, then said it was only available online. He gave Jared the website, and they hadn’t mentioned it again, although Adam had taken to rubbing his cheek over Jared’s head, and Jared thought he liked the smell of it.
Sneakers were too casual and shoes too much like what he wore to school, so Jared pulled on his boots, thinking Chris would approve, and grinned to himself.
“Jared!” Hadley called up the stairs. “Are you ready? We’re going to be late.”
“Coming,” he called back, and checked his reflection in the full-length mirror before grabbing his phone and wallet—habit, now—and jogging lightly down the stairs.
“You look nice,” Hadley said, a grin in her voice.
“Thanks. So do you.”
She was wearing a black fitted dress—classic and classy—and sapphire and diamond studs at her ears. It was casual enough to be appropriate for a family dinner. Her long hair tumbled down her back, and Jared was oddly relieved. If she’d tied it up in some elaborate style, it would be even weirder somehow.
“I’ll drive,” Hadley said. “I thought you might want to stay over tonight.”
Jared nodded once and tried not to blush. He locked up while Hadley got her red, sporty BMW out of the garage and met her outside.
“How are things with Adam, then?” she asked as they pulled on to the road.
“Good.”
“Oh, come on, Jared. Give me the juice.”
He laughed at that. “We’re really good. You were right, you know,” he added on impulse.
“Oh?”
“He was worth waiting for.”
Hadley’s eyes didn’t stray from the road, but a genuine smile crept at the corners of her mouth. A few moments later, the Hemlocks’ drive came into view, and Jared pointed it out so she didn’t miss the turning. It was a good excuse to stop talking about sex, and Jared grabbed the opportunity with both hands.
“Wow,” Hadley said as she pulled up outside the house. “This place is gorgeous.”
“Juliette designed the whole place. She’s an architect.”
“I’ll make sure to compliment her on it, then.”
They climbed out of the car, and the heavy front door opened as they were still walking up to it. Adam had gone with the jeans and a shirt combination too, which relieved Jared, who smiled at him.
“Hi,” Adam said and gestured them inside. “Mom’s in the kitchen. She said to go on down.”
“Oh, I’ll find the way,” Hadley said. “Don’t mind me. Would you take my jacket, Adam?”
“Yes, of course. Sorry,” he said and Jared grinned at his sudden turn of charm.
She gave them both a knowing smile and strode off in the direction of the stairs on extremely high heels.
“She decided to have the sex talk with me on the way over,” Jared said, appreciating the grin that spread over Adam’s face.
“My mom did the same thing last night.”
Jared laughed and took advantage of the opportunity, leaning in to brush his lips very lightly over Adam’s. Adam reached up and cupped Jared’s cheek, then parted his lips, taking the kiss just one millimeter further before pulling away.
“Let me put this somewhere safe,” he said, lifting Hadley’s jacket in explanation. Jared nodded and watched Adam tuck it away in the little security control room. They walked down to the kitchen with their hands loosely entwined. They had nothing to hide, here.
Dinner was fun. It was somewhere after the main course and before dessert that Jared realized he hadn’t laughed this much in a long time. Juliette had prepared the whole meal herself, all four courses, and was clearly delighted to have the opportunity to show off her French-inspired cooking.
The four of them sat around one end of the huge dining table where Jared and Adam had eaten the first meal Adam ever cooked, and Juliette’s eyes shone with humor while Jared recounted the story to her.
“I’ve been trying to get that boy to cook something… anything for years now,” she said. “You must have different tactics from me.”
“I’m sure he does,” Hadley murmured under her breath, making heat rise in Jared’s cheeks.
“No!” Adam exclaimed, slapping his hand down on the table hard. “No. You don’t get to make that dirty. It was one of the nicest, sweetest things anyone’s ever done for me. It’s not a sexy thing, it’s an eating thing.”
Juliette laughed and reached over to touch her son’s cheek. “Do I need to cut you off?”
“No, you need to top me up,” he said petulantly, pushing his wine glass toward her.
She grinned at him obligingly and did as he asked.
“You’re very calm about them drinking,” Hadley said, twisting the stem of her glass of Bordeaux with delicate fingers.
“It’s a French thing,” Adam said in explanation. “Kids over there start drinking wine with dinner from when they’re about eight. It’s not a big deal.”
Juliette looked like she was going to argue, then acquiesced. “We create a drinking culture in this country,” she said lightly. “By making alcohol something taboo, it’s what teenagers gravitate to when they want to rebel. In Europe drinking isn’t such a big deal. In England you can buy wine or beer for a sixteen-year-old in a restaurant if it’s to go with a meal. I like the attitude there a lot better.” She glanced at the clock. “Who wants dessert?”
“Um, me,” Adam said with a grin.
“Hadley, could you help me please?”
The two women pushed back from the table and went to the kitchen on stocking feet, the ridiculous heels abandoned.
“I think I love your mother,” Jared whispered conspiratorially. “Can she adopt me please?”
“No, because that would make you my brother, and that would be weird.”
“I hadn’t thought of that.”
They were sitting next to each other, meaning for the past few hours they had been playing footsie under the table, resting hands on knees or thighs, stealing kisses when no one was looking.
Jared was pleasantly buzzed. Not drunk like he got at parties, but full of a warm, fuzzy feeling that came from good wine and amazing food. He leaned over on impulse and caught Adam’s mouth with his own, tasting and teasing and taking the full, plump bottom lip into his mouth.
He was about to slide his tongue between Adam’s parted lips when an emphatic throat-clearing forced them apart.
“
Sorry,” Jared said, pulling away and blushing more.
Juliette winked and set a glass dish in front of him.
“Is this tiramisu?” Adam asked, immediately poking at the layered, creamy dessert.
“Yes.”
He grinned widely. “Thanks, Mom.”
After dinner they moved into the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher together, the four of them, like a family rather than as guests. Then, instead of moving to the living room for coffee, they drank it sitting on the tall stools around the island in the kitchen, sharing a huge plate of sugar cookies that no one was really hungry for.
Jared was surprised at how easy it was. The conversation between Hadley and Juliette was fun and friendly, and they teased him and Adam good-naturedly. It was almost midnight by the time Hadley called a cab, saying she’d pick up the car tomorrow, and leaving Jared at the Hemlock house with an exaggerated wink.
“I’m going to bed,” Juliette said with a sigh as she shut the front door and locked up. “That was a lovely evening, but I’m exhausted.”
“I think we’re going to go up too,” Adam said, looking to Jared for confirmation.
Juliette kissed them both on the cheek before heading up to her rooms. When she was safely out of sight, Jared wrapped both arms around Adam and held him close.
Chapter 20
By late Saturday afternoon, the rain was a steady patter against the windows and inside, it was as dark as if it was early evening. In Adam’s living room, it was warm, cozy bliss.
Jared sprawled on Adam’s chest, pressing his cheek against the steady rise and fall of his breastbone, and napped. Adam was watching something on TV, a documentary that didn’t interest Jared in the slightest. He wasn’t bothered about the choice of entertainment; the week had left him exhausted, and he was grateful for the opportunity to get some extra rest.
Now things had changed between them and the world outside this room, Jared felt invincible. This relationship had been built on a rocky foundation, and that was usually a recipe for disaster, but Adam was willing to put the effort in and fill in the gaps. They weren’t exactly going slow; there was an understanding they had to make up for past mistakes. Both of them.
When there was a change in the room, Jared started to wake up a little but couldn’t find the energy to move, so he stayed where he was. The gentle fingers smoothing through his hair didn’t stop their dreamy caress, so really, he didn’t need to move at all.
“You look good together,” a soft, female voice said.
Juliette, Jared’s brain helpfully supplied. Beneath him, Adam hummed, the noise vibrating in his chest.
“I hope….” she started, then moved closer to the couch. “I hope you know what you’ve got here, Adam. Don’t throw it away.”
“I won’t,” Adam said.
“This is probably a silly question, because I think I know the answer.”
“Go on.”
“Do you love him?”
Jared was sure they must know he was awake, or awake-ish, at least. The hands in his hair didn’t stop, though, and he felt Adam lean down and kiss the top of his head.
“Yeah, I love him. A lot.”
“I never thought you’d have this, Adam. You were a selfish boy, and love can’t be selfish. You have to give with no expectation of anything in return.”
“I know.”
Juliette said something else, and Jared didn’t hear her murmured words this time, then she left. A few minutes later Adam wriggled, and Jared stretched out of his nap.
“Hey, sleeping beauty,” Adam teased.
“Hey,” Jared croaked. He leaned up to brush dry lips over Adam’s, then moved off his makeshift, moving pillow.
Jared padded off to the bathroom, and when he got out, Adam had moved onto his bed. Now he was done with his nap, he was feeling too refreshed to sleep again, but was more than content to lay down to talk for a while. There was something he’d been meaning to ask.
“Would you tell me about your dad?” Jared said as he settled next to Adam.
Adam gave him a funny look. “It’s not really a secret,” he said with a frown.
“I know,” Jared said and shifted on the bed so they were facing each other, sharing a pillow. He tucked his hands under his cheek and waited.
“He died when I was a baby,” Adam said with a shrug. “I think I was about two. I don’t remember him at all, but my mom talked about him all the time when I was growing up so it feels like I know him. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah,” Jared said, because it did.
“He was a marine. He married my mom when she was nineteen and he was twenty-five, which was apparently a big deal to Mom’s family. She was only twenty-two when she had me, and my dad was at home completely by coincidence when I was born. He got cancer.”
Adam sighed and reached for Jared’s hand, tugging it out from under his cheek and lacing their fingers together.
“It was bad,” Adam continued. “Inoperable. He died only a few months after they found it.”
“That’s so sad.”
“Yeah. Yeah. He was technically still serving when he passed away, so he was buried with full military honors. I think that was important to my mother. Their relationship—well, I only know what she’s told me. But when I was a kid, she used to tell it like a Cinderella story. She was the uptown girl, and he was this blue-collar guy, and they fell in love after meeting at a diner in Tacoma. They got married really quickly and he was already in the military, so for the first year they were married, they were apart more than they were together. I know my mom wanted more kids. She never intended for me to be an only child. But after my dad died, she didn’t want any more children without him. I don’t think she’s ever loved anyone else.”
“That’s… wow.”
Adam brought their combined hands to his lips and brushed a kiss over Jared’s knuckles. “A few years ago, I started to nudge her into dating. She’s a beautiful person, you know? She should date. I don’t want to think of her alone, ever, and I know she’s a social butterfly, but it’s not the same. I want her to have someone.”
“You asked her about some guy. Guillem?”
“Yeah.” Adam smiled. “I met him the last time I was in Paris. He took us out to dinner. He’s an artist and a good one, despite being one of those people who have never worked a day in their life. Disgustingly rich, which is all I could possibly hope for my mother. He’s very charming and nice, and I think my mom likes him, but she won’t ever tell me about stuff like that. Even though I tell her that’s why she’s got a gay son, for girl talk.”
Jared laughed and leaned in to steal a kiss. “Best of both worlds.”
“I’m best of all the worlds, darling.”
“That you are.”
“Tell me about your family.”
Jared groaned. “They’re fucking awful.”
“Come on. I spilled. It’s your turn.”
Sighing heavily, Jared moved onto his back, pulling Adam with him so they ended up with Adam’s head on his shoulder, snuggling like a koala bear. Brushing his fingers through Adam’s hair was reassuring, so Jared did it rhythmically until he’d soothed himself.
“Youngest of three kids,” he started. “Two older sisters. My mom is a society girl, probably like yours. Her branch of the family tree is Irish, actually. I’ve always wanted to go to Ireland.”
“I’ll take you,” Adam promised. Jared huffed a laugh.
“My dad was really strict when we were growing up, and that gave me the perfect route of rebellion. I knew exactly what would piss him off from a very young age, and the main reason I came out was because I wanted to see what their reaction would be.”
“Really? That doesn’t seem like you at all.” Jared couldn’t decide if he was being sarcastic or not, so he dug his fingers in Adam’s ribs. “Really!” Adam exclaimed. “You’re so chilled.”
“Well, I am now. I don’t have anything to rebel against any more.”
“I suppose.�
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“Plus, I don’t want to piss Hadley off. She’s been really good to me. I’m not about to fuck that up.”
“All right. Go on. What happened when you came out?”
“Oh, it was at dinner,” Jared said, smiling at the memory. “We’d just finished dessert, and I set my spoon down and told them I had something I needed to tell them all. Then I said, ‘Mom, Dad, you should know that I’m gay.’ No one said anything. They just stared at me, so I said, ‘I’m attracted to men.’”
“Of course, my mother threw a fit, and I was sure my dad was going to have a heart attack; his face actually went purple. He started screaming and told me to get out of his house. Then my mom was wailing and saying he couldn’t throw me out, and my sisters just sat there smirking at me.”
Adam laughed. “You’ve got style, I’ll give you that much.”
“Thanks.”
“Did they kick you out?”
“Of course not. My grandmother loved it. She still does, actually. She’s in her eighties, and my dad has always had a very tense relationship with her—she hasn’t approved of him in a long time. Says he’s got a bad temper, which he does, of course, but he doesn’t like his own mother telling him off about it. Grandma loves me.”
“You’re lucky. All my grandparents passed away years ago.”
“I’ll share mine if you’d like. Grandma would love you too, you know. Actually, I should take you out to meet her. She’d get a kick out of that.”
“Where does she live?” Adam asked, shifting to look up at Jared.
“New York.”
“Oh, I’ll definitely go there,” Adam said and sounded relieved. “I thought you were going to send me to the back end of nowhere in Michigan.”
“Have you ever been to Michigan?”
“No, and I don’t intend to.”
Jared snorted. “Well, you’re safe. Grandma lives on the Upper East Side.”
“Nice.”
They watched each other for a moment, then together their eyes fluttered closed and with the smallest movements, shifting on the bed, they were kissing. This was slow and easy, no pressure, all sweet caresses, and Jared adored it.