by Karin Nordin
Alice rolled her head to the side and let out an exasperated sigh. ‘I knew that imbecile was a dangerous risk. Honestly, I was afraid someone might have caught onto me sooner because of him. Thought about getting rid of him, but he was never part of the plan. Not the killing part anyway.’
‘But you nearly implicated him in the deaths.’
‘He deserved it. Do you think he’s innocent simply because he opened a holistic hippy camp? It was his drug involvement that set Emma on the wrong path. If it weren’t for him she never would have gotten mixed up with that crowd. She never would have met that bastard Emil Hermansson. And he never would have convinced her to cover for him.’ Alice clenched her teeth. ‘If it weren’t for my idiot husband she never would have ended up in your patrol car.’
Kjeld’s anger was near breaking point. He wanted to lash out, to protect his daughter, but he knew that any rash movement could end disastrously. He had to keep calm. He couldn’t give Alice any more control of the situation than she already had. ‘Why Daniel Santelmann?’
‘Two birds with one stone. He matched the pattern of Louisa and Jonny, but he also had connections to the commune’s side business. He was helping Jan-Erik cover his finances. I knew that I’d never be able to get close enough to Jan-Erik to kill him. He’s always been paranoid. That’s why he has those two buffoons watching him. But a long prison sentence is the next best thing. That’s the least he deserves.’
‘What about Andrea?’
‘She was one of them too. One of Emil and Tobias’s little runner girls. The ones they used to bring the drugs into the country. Afterwards she started working with Jan-Erik. Wellness respite, my arse. He’s been using the commune to continue the work Emil started. The same work that resulted in the death of my little girl.’
‘How did you find out about the day I saved her?’
Alice smirked. ‘Oh, that’s a good story. But sadly that’s not mine to tell.’
Kjeld steadied his weight. The rain sprinkled over his arms, dotting the barrel of his service weapon in tiny droplets. He glanced over at Tove. Her eyes were red from crying and she winced against the pinching hand on her shoulder. Seeing the fear in her face nearly caused him to lose his composure.
He had to keep Alice talking. Maybe if he distracted her long enough he could convince her to let Tove go. Or get a better angle for a shot.
‘And my daughter?’
‘I was growing tired of the game. It was taking too long to get your attention. Truth be told, it was never supposed to be her. It was supposed to be you. I thought that would have been fitting, don’t you? A final standoff. But when I saw her photograph on the news – well, I realised this was more poetic. And I knew it would be enough to push you. To get you to finally figure it out. And now that you have we can finally end this and ensure there will be no more senseless deaths like my Emma’s.’
‘The other deaths weren’t senseless?’
Alice threw her head back in another laugh, mindful not to turn the gun away from Tove. ‘No, of course not! No. Is that what you think? Goodness, you really haven’t been paying attention, have you? You really do fail to see the obvious sometimes. Spending too much time burying yourself in minutiae. Thinking too hard about the problem. Haven’t you heard of Occam’s razor? The simplest answer is often the right one. No, their deaths weren’t senseless. They were precision targets. The only people in this city who met the requirements.’
‘Being survivors?’
Alice’s expression broke into one of proud wonder. ‘Not just any old survivors. Your survivors.’
‘Why mine?’
‘Because you didn’t save my Emma. She didn’t survive when she should have. These others are a mockery of her memory. How dare they have the chance to live when she didn’t. What did they have to offer this world? A timid girl afraid to do anything with her life? An angry drug addict? A boy who gave up a promising future to dance half naked for a bunch of insipid socialites? A money-laundering arsehole who when given a second chance turns around and does the exact same thing he did before? My Emma never would have shied away from the gift of life. She would have become something bigger than herself. Something greater. The rest of them were just wasteful. Undeserving. They had to be returned to their fate. The clock had to be reset, so to speak. Only then could Emma’s soul truly be at peace.’
Kjeld took a steadying breath. ‘Emma’s death was an accident.’
‘Was it? I’ve been through every statement and every testimony of that day. The only thing that makes sense is that you left the door unlocked. You chased her across the highway. You’re the reason she was hit by that truck. I tried to get you to admit to that in therapy, but you’ve somehow convinced yourself that it wasn’t your fault. Just like you’ve convinced yourself that the end of your relationship wasn’t your fault. Or the death of your real father.’ She paused. ‘And the Kattegat Killings.’
Kjeld stared at her. His thoughts wanted to frantically search his memory for any truth to her claim. Was she right? Had he made a mistake? But he shook the doubts away. ‘You know how fucking crazy that sounds, right?’
Alice grinned. ‘I never expected you to understand. You couldn’t because you haven’t been where the rest of us have been.’
‘And where’s that?’
An odd, almost obsessive gleam crossed her eyes when he asked his question. Kjeld couldn’t quite place what it meant or where he’d seen it before, but it unnerved him.
‘To that dark place where survivors go. To that jagged corner of your subconscious where you ask yourself, “Why me? Why did I survive when others didn’t? Why should I have to suffer my fears over and over again?”’ Alice’s voice lowered, hypnotic. ‘You don’t know what that’s like. You walk away from your fears and your troubles just like you walked away from all of them. From Emma. From Louisa. Daniel, Jonny. Your father. Bengt, who you walked away from when you thought he was dying. Even your precious little Tove. You couldn’t cut it being a father so you handed off the responsibility to someone else. Why bother saving them if you’re just going to forget about them?’
Kjeld watched Alice carefully. There was a steadfastness in her face that unsettled him. She believed what she said. And even though it didn’t make any sense, he could see the obsession in her eyes. This had been her truth for years. A truth she was willing to stake lives on. This was a woman he would not be able to negotiate with. The realisation of that caught in his chest and it tightened. How had he not seen this madness in her before? All of those private discussions in her office and he never once suspected that there was anything wrong. Had he been so wrapped up in his own problems that he didn’t notice? Or was he truly so easy to fool?
Kjeld looked quickly at Tove, her eyes wide with fear. It was the same look he saw in his nightmares after arresting Nils. Thick red curls soaked in the rain, a pleading whimper on her lips. Only this time it was real.
‘I’m sorry I couldn’t save Emma, but none of this can change that,’ Kjeld said. He managed to keep his tone level and clear, but he could feel his confidence wobbling. He was fully sweating under his coat. ‘You don’t have to do this. Emma wouldn’t want you to.’
‘How would you know what my Emma wanted? She would have wanted to live! She would have wanted the opportunity to finish high school. To go to college. To get married. Have children. She had a beautiful and gracious spirit. She was innocent, caught up in something she couldn’t possibly understand. And it was your job to protect her.’ Alice let go of Tove and pulled back on the hammer of the gun. From his angle Kjeld couldn’t tell if the safety was on, but he assumed it wasn’t. One wrong move and the gun could go off.
Tove took a small step away from Alice.
‘Don’t move!’ Alice snapped at her. Tove stopped in place, fearful tears welling in her eyes.
‘Alice, please. Let’s put down the guns and talk about this. Explain it to me. Help me understand how killing four innocent people can make up for the loss of you
r daughter. Because you’re right. I don’t understand. I don’t understand how this will change anything.’
‘This is all your fault!’ she yelled, unconscious tears sliding down the sides of her face as she waved the gun at him.
‘Tell me how I can fix it.’
‘You can’t! It’s too late! You were supposed to protect my Emma. That was your job! Instead you frightened her. And you failed to follow protocol. It was your recklessness and inexperience that prevented her from being here now!’
Kjeld had gone over the events leading up to Emma’s death over and over in his mind for years. Of all his cases it was the one that still plagued him with uncertainties. But it wasn’t just his word against Alice’s. There was no proof that he’d made a mistake. He’d locked that door. He couldn’t explain how she got out. Nor could he have stopped her from running. That was a decision Emma made. One he’d never understand and had to live with every day for the rest of his life. ‘I did everything by the book.’
‘Don’t lie to me!’ Her voice cracked. ‘I know you forgot to lock the door!’
Kjeld shook his head. ‘I wasn’t even driving. That was Nils.’
‘Stop it! Don’t lie to me!’
‘I’m not lying. Listen to me. Maja—’
‘No!’ Alice tightened her grip on the gun, edging it closer to Tove’s head. ‘You’re only saying that to confuse me. But I know you, Kjeld. I know how you think. I know the way your mind works. I’ve seen it. You’ve told me as much yourself in our sessions. You’re trying to turn everything around on its head like you always do. Trying to make yourself look like the hero in all of this. But it’s not going to work. I’ve been waiting years for this. Ever since I drove my car off Lemmingsgatan bridge and into the river. You won’t take this from me.’
‘Don’t do this. It’s not worth it.’
‘It’s the only thing I have left. The only thing I can do to avenge my Emma.’ She paused long enough to catch her breath. ‘Now you can know what it feels like to lose them. All of them. Your precious survivors. And the daughter you pretend to care about.’
Tove looked from Alice to Kjeld, her expression stricken with horror and confusion. Kjeld tried to offer her a reassuring glance, but every tendon in his body was pulled taut. He needed to make a decision. And he needed to make it fast.
‘And now we finish this,’ Alice said, her tone suddenly calm and composed, her earlier rage swept from her features.
Kjeld trained his focus on Alice, hammer cocked, finger on the trigger. He could wing her in the shoulder, but not without risking Tove also being shot. There was another option, but he didn’t like it. And it went against everything he’d learned as a police officer. He could lower his weapon. He could try to convince her to give up. But, as she said, she’d been waiting years for this moment. And that waiting had distorted her perception of everything around her. He’d never be able to reach her.
But he had to try.
He slowly lowered his weapon.
‘You’re an intelligent, educated woman, Alice. You understand hurt and grief more than anyone. Losing a child? I can’t imagine that pain. I wouldn’t be able to survive as long as you have if anything happened to my little girl. If anyone knows that, it’s you. As you said, I’ve told you everything. But if you truly believe that I am to blame, then blame me.’ Kjeld nodded to Tove. ‘Not her. She’s just a child. She deserves the chance to grow up and be better than me. Let her go. Let me pay the price for Emma’s death.’
Alice hesitated. The muscles in her cheeks slackened, exposing the weariness beneath the taut skin. Kjeld still didn’t recognise her as the mother of the teenage girl from fifteen years ago. She’d lost at least half of her previous body weight and put on enough muscle to allow her to carry the bodies of the unconscious victims. And while she was physically fitter than she had been in the past, her face showed signs of ageing. But it was the callous determination in her eyes, built on grief and festering hatred, that struck him the most.
‘I can’t do that,’ she said, resolute. ‘That’s not enough. It’ll never be enough. The only way to even the score is to make sure you live with this forever.’
Alice turned her gaze away from Kjeld and onto Tove.
Kjeld’s arm jerked upward and he pulled the trigger.
Alice’s stare wavered, surprise shining through impassioned eyes. She looked like she was possessed, driven to this decision by all the pain and guilt she’d suffered from the loss of her daughter. The gun fell from her hand, blood seeping through the fabric of her coat. Then she stumbled backwards. She stretched her arm outward, grasping for Tove. Kjeld pulled the trigger again. Another shot cut through the air and Alice tumbled into the railing and over the edge.
‘Daddy?’
Kjeld holstered his weapon and rushed across the motorway. He swept Tove up into his arms and held her against his chest. She buried her face into his jacket. A sense of relief tried to wash over him, but his mind was slow to respond. His body was tense, his thoughts swirling in delayed panic. But Tove was safe. She was unharmed. She was going to be okay. Still, that didn’t stop his arms from shaking.
Chapter 69
The sleek linoleum floor glistened back at him with a tawny glimmer from the fluorescent lighting overhead. At the end of the corridor the chatter of nurses droned on between the beeping of monitors from open rooms. Kjeld glanced down at the toe of his boot where a smudge of Alice’s blood – no, Maja’s blood – had spattered after he’d shot her. He replayed the look on her face in his mind over and over. She’d been so calm and collected. So rational in her madness. That was what bothered him more than the spray of blood on the road. The sheer composure of her mental state.
She was crazy, of course. Kjeld wasn’t a psychiatrist so he wouldn’t even begin to fathom how to diagnose her, but he had no doubt that something had snapped in her years ago when her daughter died. Something that lingered and poisoned her mind into believing the absurdity she’d spouted as an excuse for committing one senseless murder after the next. But it was that calm in her expression and her behaviour that rattled him and left a permanent shiver at the base of his spine whenever he recalled her face in those final moments. It was a calm he’d only ever seen once before. On the face of his best friend. In the seconds before Kjeld shot him, too.
‘You can go in now.’
Kjeld looked up at Liam. He hadn’t heard the man approach. His normally broad-shouldered posture was slumped and leaning. His face was ragged, eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and incessant sobbing. Kjeld, on the other hand, hadn’t shed a tear. He was still in shock, mind reeling from the image of Tove with a gun to her head. And his emotional core, which had always been a bit slow to respond, hadn’t quite caught up to him yet.
Kjeld stood up from the harsh plastic chair. Liam placed a hand gently on his shoulder and Kjeld was surprised that he didn’t flinch in response. He looked into Liam’s dark brown eyes, sombre but grateful.
‘Thank you,’ Liam said. He dropped his hand from Kjeld’s shoulder. ‘Thank you for not giving up.’
Kjeld nodded and stepped around the larger man, making his way into the private room across the corridor. The curtains on the window were drawn open, but the sky outside was cloudy and dark, belying the early hour. Kjeld crossed the room to the bed and took a seat in the chair Liam had just occupied. It was still warm.
Bengt sat in the chair beside him. Tove lay in the hospital bed, asleep. The pillow beneath her head was crooked and Kjeld instinctively adjusted it for her. Then he sat back and exhaled an exhausted sigh. When the paramedics arrived on the scene, they’d insisted on taking Tove to the hospital to have her checked. Thankfully she wasn’t injured. Her cast had to be replaced, however, after sustaining so much exposure to the rain. And instead of the hot pink colour it had once been it was now a soft blue. No one had written on it yet. According to the physician on duty she could be taken home, but the entire experience had been so physically draining that none of t
hem seemed to have the energy to get up.
Bengt reached out and took Kjeld’s hand in his own, weaving their fingers together the way he used to. Kjeld looked him in the eye and tried not to think of the self-blame on Bengt’s face when he discovered that Tove was missing. And the terror when he realised she was in the hands of a serial murderer. Kjeld pinched his eyes shut and shook the thought away. It wasn’t important anymore. What mattered was that Tove was safe. That they all were.
‘I don’t know what I would have done if—’ Bengt hung his head.
‘It’s not your fault,’ Kjeld said.
‘I know.’ Bengt brushed a loose strand of Tove’s curls back behind her ear. She stirred, but didn’t wake. Then he looked back at Kjeld. Dark shadows discoloured the skin beneath his eyes. He looked like a man who’d been to hell and back. Kjeld could only imagine how he looked in return. ‘And I know it’s not your fault either.’
Kjeld winced. Even though it wasn’t meant as an offence, he couldn’t help but feel responsible for the tragedies of the last few weeks. If he’d done better on Emma’s case, if he’d been more aware, perhaps none of this would have happened.
‘And I’m glad you’re here,’ Bengt said, giving Kjeld’s hand a gentle squeeze.
‘Where else would I be?’
Bengt quirked a sarcastic smile. ‘Work.’
‘Touché.’ Kjeld brought Bengt’s hand to his face and placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles.
Bengt’s face saddened.
‘What?’ Kjeld asked. ‘Don’t tell me I’ve crossed a line.’
‘No, it’s not that.’
‘Then what is it?’
Bengt averted his eyes and Kjeld felt a tightness in his chest. The kind that preceded bad news. And his fingers inherently clenched around Bengt’s hand. He didn’t notice he’d done so until Bengt winced from the strength of his grip. Kjeld loosened his hold and inhaled deeply through his nose, waiting for Bengt to begin speaking before allowing himself to exhale.