by Stahl, Shey
Somewhere between these blurred lines of our relationship, was a trust. A trust that I didn’t have with anyone but her and I knew right then, this could work.
“What are you doing?” Spencer asked when I left him standing by the bar.
“Going to talk to her,”
“In front of everyone?”
“I said I was going to talk to her,” I smiled over my shoulder. “not rape her.”
Approaching her from behind, I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her against my chest.
She jumped, her shoulder bumping my jaw.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” She sounded genuinely penitent. It wasn’t necessary.
Kissing her cheek, I smiled rubbing my jaw, slowly and suggestively. “It’s all right honey.” Whispering slowly in her ear, I heard the distinct hitch of her breath as mine blew across her neck. “You didn’t hurt me.”
She didn’t say anything, just gaped at me with wide eyes.
I gave up any pretence of making a wise decision tonight. I had to have her in some way. The need was pulling me beneath the surface I had tried to stay above for so long, consuming and confusing.
My name being sternly intoned broke my reverie. Glancing around the room, I noticed Darrin and his cousin, Kevin, step inside the bar.
“I’ll be right back.” I told Sway.
Darrin, obviously waiting for me, turned around when I approached him. “You lost?” I asked. “Last time I checked, this was an appearance set up by my sponsor.”
“Anyone can come into the bar, Jameson.” Darrin retorted sharply. From the corner of my eye, I knew who was standing next to him, but I refused to look her direction, refused to even acknowledge her presence.
“You should leave.” I warned with ominously to him and Chelsea. I was so sick of his shit that I wanted to hit him right then. My fists clenched instinctively, anticipating he’d make a scene. I couldn’t believe either of them showed up here.
“You act as though the world fucking revolves around your arrogant ass.” Darrin stepped closer to me. “Just because your dad provided the ride doesn’t mean you’re hot shit, Jameson.”
Remaining somewhat collected, I leaned back against the bar again, trying to appear as though I could give a rat’s ass to what he thought of me.
“Darrin,” I spoke slowly shaking my head, I kept my tone even and controlled giving it a more baleful hint. “Just because my father owns the team I race for, doesn’t mean I can’t drive.” My chin came up arrogantly. “Who won tonight?”
“By three tenths of an inch, hardly a win,” he snorted.
I chuckled with intent.
“Any way you want to look at it Darrin, I won.” Motioning to the bartender, I ordered another beer. “How’s second place feel?”
He stepped closer, fisting his hands in my shirt.
“Listen you little shit,” I saw Spencer appear beside me. “Stay out of my way on the track or you’ll regret it.” He spat.
There are a few things I do not like—besides substances on my skin. That includes someone shoving me and someone threatening me.
Within a second, I had a broken beer bottle pressed to his throat, his nose bleeding from where I just punched him. “Don’t. Ever. Threaten. Me. Again!”
I hated this asshole and for him to come in here and threaten me, on a night I was celebrating with the people who made this all possible for me, made me fucking livid.
Spencer and Kyle had me slammed against the wall. They knew I was moments away from destroying this entire bar to get my point across with this motherfucker.
“Calm down!” Spencer growled in my ear, his fists that were clenching my shirt tightened. “I mean it Jameson. Don’t do this here.”
“Get him out of here.” I barked at the security guards surrounding me. I’m sure my enraged manic glare was enough for them cause they moved pretty fucking quickly after that.
31. Equalize – Jameson
Equalize – Cars that run at superspeedways are required to run tires with an inner liner. This is a tire within a tire. When the inner liner loses air pressure and that pressure becomes the same as the outer tire, it’s to be equalized and a vibration is created.
It took me a good hour to calm down once Darrin left.
Between the penalties, the race, Sway, Darrin, and my feelings and emotions being all over the place, I drank. Making my way to the bar once again, Marcus, Simplex’s president, caught me.
Marcus was already drunk standing with his arm around my shoulders, dangerously waving a shot of tequila around as he told me, in no certain terms, how he thought I could improve my driving. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he had me confused with someone who gave a shit about what he thought. Eventually he offered me the half-spilled shot in his hand. I took it without hesitation. After a few shots, I was feeling pretty good and working on my courage to approach Sway.
The bar was full and crawling with pit lizards, all of who I was having a hard time getting rid of. They were always relentless after a race.
“You sure attract the ladies.” Marcus deduced after Ashley, the Fox Sports reporter, shoved her tits in my face once again that night.
Motioning toward Ashley, I said. “I’m sure she’ll show you a good time.”
And I mean “good time” by Marcus standards. Marcus thought he was some North Carolina player—he wasn’t by the way. I don’t think anyone ever told him that just because the boys in Men in Black looked okay, didn’t mean he did.
“Oh, yeah?” he elbowed me. “Know from experience, huh?”
I suppressed a sigh knowing I needed to act civilized.
“No, half the fucking industry does though.”
Yeah, I slept with Ashley once but in my defense, I was so drunk that night, I ended up sleeping on the sidewalk in front of a Safeway store—I couldn’t tell you a single goddamn thing that occurred that night, only that I dimly remember being tangled in the sheets with her at one point. I was also not going to admit this to anyone—it was none of their business who I slept with.
Another round of shots came by—Marcus had just coaxed me into doing another, when I felt Sway behind me.
“Jameson,” she sighed. “Don’t you leavd me wit you sista again!”
Marcus removed his arm from my shoulder, inexplicably choosing now to become uncomfortable with our contact.
When I looked at Sway, three point five sheets to the wind, she was glassy eyed, bright-cheeked and cute as a goddamned cherry pie.
“What the hell happened to you?” I stepped closer to her, pulling her against my side.
She frowned concentrating on her answer.
“Oh...you...Emma...” she sighed exasperatedly. She blew a loose strain of her hair out of her eyes, and then braved on. “Spencer he...I’ll telld youd something...”
“Something?” I laughed.
“What?”
“Huh?”
Without notice, she threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. Not just any kiss, a strong determined kiss. One that I was sure my plan would work well with. My mind was reeling, maybe it was all that tequila but either way, I was spinning.
Breathing deeply, trying desperately to keep my erotic thoughts at bay, I responded with “Unless you want me to lose control in front of the entire bar, don’t kiss me like that.” A nervous laugh escaped me.
Sway took that for acquiescence and smiled. “I don’t think I’d mind.”
This was drunk Sway and drunk Jameson speaking right now and not the two “Grammy Winners” who usually spoke in something similar to Morse Code when feeling were involved.
“You want me to lose control with you?” My lips were at her collarbone. I kissed softly along the curve and then up her neck before placing a tender kiss below her ear.
“I want you too.” She pressed herself closer as the song Purple Rain began.
“Let’s dance, honey.” I chuckled pulling her toward the dance floor. “They’re playing our theme song.”
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“Team song?” her eyebrow arched in question but followed.
Laughing, I held the Purple Rain drink up.
Sway giggled before nodding enthusiastically, “Yes...letz,”
Whispering the lyrics to her was my way of trying to seal the deal—she loved it when I sang to her.
When I looked into her eyes, she had an expression I hadn’t seen before. Love maybe? Lust...I’m not sure what it was but I’m pretty certain mine mirrored hers in some way. There was a room full of people surrounding us, but I couldn’t look away from her in that moment. I’d put my life on hold, telling myself I couldn’t, wouldn’t have or ask for more than what we had. I failed to realize that I could have something with her.
I felt her sigh and lean into my embrace further and then giggle.
“What?” I asked my eyes focused intently hers.
“Nothing.” She said, her speech returning to normal; then she winked.
Could she be any more adorable?
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” I crooned against her neck as I pressed a tender kiss right below her ear, just as I’d done all night. I couldn’t pry my lips away from her skin.
“Yeah, well—you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever met. And Christ almighty can you drive a car.” Her hands reached for mine. “You sure can handle the horsepower, can’t you?”
Oh. My. God.
She had to feel my erection against her—she had to. I should have been concerned at the obvious display we were putting on but I couldn’t help it. But I cared about none of that as much as I cared about the way my body was responding to her.
Removing my hands from hers, I traced them down the lines of her hips—my fingers dug into the velvety skin and pulled her even tighter against my hips. She gasped and closed her eyes as though the sensation was exactly what she wanted.
“You wanna see how I drive your car?”
Sway’s cheeks flushed before whispering. “I’d pay money to see that.”
She had mocked my words from the night in her room.
“Is that so?” I smirked.
She licked her lips, “Oh yeah.”
Dancing seemed pointless, we weren’t even moving just kissing and touching.
“Let’s get out of here.” I finally said.
I couldn’t take this teasing any longer. It was different. While I had a plan tonight, she seemed to rouse that plan into action. Instead of fighting with me, she was flirting, instead of taunting, she was teasing.
If she wanted to see how much horsepower I had, I’d show her. I would show her just how powerful these hands could be.
Funny thing was though, she had no idea the power she held in all this.
Back at the hotel, I gave into the desires I had all those years.
“Stay,” I whispered against her calf, placing another soft kiss to her skin before she could sneak away.
My heart pounded because here was the woman I had dreamed about all my life standing in front of me in the most amazing skirt I have ever seen. I waited for her answer and then suddenly I was burning up.
Jesus Christ is it like a hundred degrees out?
“You’re drunk.” She told me crouching down next to me.
“So are you.” I leaned up on my elbows, trying to make her understand.
I could have tried to blame this one the alcohol that had severely damaged our inhibitions, but honestly, it wasn’t that at all. It was the look on her face when I asked her to stay. Everything changed in that exact moment. Our friendship would never be the same with just that one look.
Leaning forward, she kissed me. I couldn’t hold back any longer, that tenacious determined side took over, needing anything she was willing to provide.
As our kisses continued, my mouth moved frantically from her ear to her neck and down to her collarbone, then returning urgently to her lips again as if I needed her breath to breathe. Moving against her with more need than I’d ever felt in the past—I couldn’t get close enough. Sway gave back, just as stalwartly, fulfilling whatever it was I was seeking. Groaning as I moved from one spot to another on her, I was frustrated that I couldn’t get closer.
In return, she clawed at me clinging to me in any way she could. I clenched my eyes shut at the heightening of every sensation that I was already feeling. Some part of me collapsed internally as I realized I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. I was on completely unfamiliar territory here. Yeah, I’d had sex before, but I was always mechanical about it, searching for one need and one need only.
Now, here was the woman that meant the world to me lying in my arms, panting against me. Watching her lose control, the same control I was losing, was something I’d never felt before.
Could I please her?
That was certainly a concern of mine. The faded memories of the women in my past, told me that they did a lot of screaming but was this pleasure from my movements? I never took the time to consider that before as I didn’t care.
Could I give Sway an orgasm?
Just imagining what she’d look like in the midst of an orgasm was enough to send me over the edge right then. I wish I could say I was fine and not scared shitless but that was a lie.
I was unsure and scared. Two more things that were completely unfamiliar to me.
For whatever reason, we seemed to both be letting go, slowly rising with the passion. Letting go of insecurities, boundaries, whatever ties that constrained us before were falling away with each kiss. Everything I had been skeptical of before seemed so silly. If I could have this with anyone it was her, she understood me and understood what I was working for. More importantly, I was comfortable with her and this felt so right.
Complete shock took over at the scene that lay before me. On the center of the bed reclining on a sea of white pillows, was my girl. My imagination as to what she looked like completely naked didn’t do her justice.
Her dark luxurious hair fanned out on the pillows framing her porcelain face. Her emerald eyes held mine with a burning intensity that had never appeared before. A furious blush bloomed over her cheeks, and my eyes followed its path down to her heaving chest. I sucked in a tortured breath and fought to control the lust that shot through me at the sight of her milky white breasts. Pale moonlight splashed across the flat planes of her abdomen and reflected off the sheen of sweat on her damp skin. My eyes were drawn lower to the bare expanse of skin that of her slightly crossed legs. All that flowed through me now was a raw desire to claim the woman that lay before me.
Her skin glowed with the slow rising sun and my hesitation got the best of me as I begged her to stop. I know inside this was my way of making this her decision. If she told me to continue, she wanted me just as much.
“Tell me to stop.” I whispered gauging her reaction. It took a herculean act of self-control but I pulled back to look at her, lying in my arms on the bed of my hotel room. “Please,” my voice broke at the end. “Honey...tell me to stop.” My fingertips grazed her soft lips, begging for permission to continue but asking her to tell me otherwise.
Her long legs wrapped around my waist, pulling me even closer.
“Don’t.” she mumbled softly. “Please don’t stop.” Her voice shook with her labored breathing.
I was fumbling and shaky, another part of me that was unfamiliar. But just as hesitant as I was, she was acting the same. She was scared.
Resting on my elbows, I looked down at her. “Sway I...”
I wanted to tell her so badly that I loved her. Beg her not to break my heart and convince her that I wouldn’t knowingly break hers in the process.
She simply nodded as if she heard me, breathing, “I know,” Against my cheek. “I want you.”
If I wasn’t listening close enough, you wouldn’t have heard it, but I did.
“I want you too.” I whispered back looking into her eyes.
There was no going back and I don’t think either one of us was reasoned enough to understand that right now. A
ll we knew was what we were feeling.
Soon, I let go of everything I’d been feeling, everything I’d been fearing and want bubbled to the surface overpowering and consuming. Feeling her small body underneath me was almost too much to handle. I’d never felt sensations this unbelievably intense before and I still hadn’t entered her.
I had to seek her permission though because this was different from all those one-night stands. I knew they wanted it. With Sway, though her body was telling me she wanted it, I had to know. I couldn’t do this without confirmation she wanted it just as much.
“Are you okay...I mean...are you sure, Sway? We’ve never...”
I couldn’t believe how badly I was shaking, it was sad.
Stop shaking asshole, you’re not a virgin! I told myself.
He didn’t listen, nope, he was far too engrossed in this woman before him offering herself up to him in the most intimate way. Now look at me, I’m shaking like a fool and speaking in the third person.
Pull yourself together! I told him sternly.
“Are you sure? We’ve never discussed...friends with benefits before.” My voice was so weak it didn’t even sound like me.
Sway smiled shyly, nodding.
“Sway?”
Please honey, see what I feel for you. Look into my eyes and I’ll show you.
“Yes?” she wouldn’t look at me, but the nervousness was there.
I wanted to say, “You’re nervous? Hah! How do you think I feel!” but I didn’t.
Instead, I settled on something more simple and vague.
“Are you sure, honey?” my voice was rough. I tried to clear my throat quietly. I don’t know why I kept asking but I had to be sure.
“Yes.” She croaked softly, her eyes searched mine.
That’s all the encouragement I needed, I was naked lying in between her legs, believe me when I say I didn’t need much encouragement any more. I was one sigh away from crumbling and telling her how I felt.