by Sara Mack
“Now why didn’t I think of that?” He pretends to ponder. “Oh, yeah, because that’s not what I was doing.” He pulls off the covers. “Get. Up.”
Cold air rushes over my legs, so I instinctively pull them to my chest for warmth. “Give me my blankets back!” I whine. “I just need ten more minutes.”
“Ten minutes won’t cure what you have,” Dane says. “Do you have some Tylenol?”
“In the bathroom.”
He leaves and I hear him rummaging around for aspirin. I look at my alarm. I am going to be late. I pull the covers over me and roll, winding myself inside them. My instructors think I’m out of town, my Stats teacher can continue to do so. I’ll see him on Thursday...
My eyes spring open. I have a test!
Shit.
I unwrap myself, scoot to the edge of the bed, and drag myself to my dresser. I pull out a pair of jeans and slide them on under my sleep shirt.
“Whoa,” Dane says as he reenters my room. “Did you have a miraculous recovery?”
“No, I have a test,” I grumble and yank open the next drawer to find a top. I settle for my old Western sweatshirt then dig around for a bra in my top drawer. No luck. How can they all be dirty? I look on the floor and find the one I wore yesterday. I bend over to pick it up and feel every pulse of blood my heart pushes through my veins. My head wants to explode. I wish I had time to shower.
Dane notices my pain, probably because I have my eyes smashed shut. “Do you need help?”
“Yes.” I snag my underwear with my finger. “Get out so I can get dressed.”
“Why don’t you take your test online?” he asks and sets a glass of water on the bedside table.
I shoot him an incredulous look. “You’re the one who woke me up to get to class!”
“You’re the one who insisted on going!” He takes a few steps toward me. “Don’t you remember? Last night you kept talking about seeing your instructors, picking up where you left off, things making sense again. You made me pinky swear to get you up this morning.”
“I did?” That sounds so immature.
“Yes, so make up your mind. Take your test online or move your ass.”
My eyes instinctively narrow. “I am moving my ass.” I hold on to my clothes and step around him, headed for the bathroom. Once inside, I shut the door, dress, and brush my teeth. I quickly pull a comb through my hair and tack it up in a messy ponytail. I forego my traditional lip gloss routine and throw some Chapstick in my pocket.
When I throw open the door Dane is waiting. He hands me two pills and the glass of water. I take them and swallow.
“Ready?” he asks.
“As ready as I’m going to be.” I brush past him, grab my bag and jacket from the bedroom, and then head toward the front door. I yank it open.
“Wait,” he says from behind me. “I’ll drive you.”
I turn around and watch him search for his coat, just now noticing that he’s fully dressed. How early did he get up? He lifts the blankets from his makeshift bed on the couch then eyes his coat tossed across the back of the chair. He grabs it and then picks his wallet and keys off the table. “Lead the way.”
I look him over suspiciously.
“What?”
“If I wanted to walk would you let me?”
“Absolutely not,” he says and nudges me out the door.
That’s what I thought.
Unfortunately, I have three classes on Wednesdays which does nothing to cure my aching head. I think I did okay on my test though, which surprises me. Maybe the key to my understanding Stats is alcohol; although, I don’t care to test that theory. All of my instructors seemed pleased to have me back due to the lie I told them about a family emergency. After I woke up on the island, I stumbled across the email I sent to my professors explaining my sudden absence. The guys were putting the rental house back together and wouldn’t let me help. It was frustrating, and I spent a lot of time on my laptop as a distraction.
Since my last class let out early, I pull out my phone and text Dane.
Pick me up.
After a minute he responds. Pick me up what?
I roll my eyes. Pick me up PLEASE.
As he drove me to class this morning, we got into a discussion about manners. He stated I was being ungrateful for his services, and I could at least cut the attitude after I gave him crap about not allowing me to walk to class. I told him I’m an adult and I’m perfectly capable of getting myself around; although, secretly, I don’t want to walk in the cold weather. It’s the principle of the thing. Without the memories of anyone taking care of me I’m having trouble accepting his assistance. I’ve always been self-sufficient. Or at least I thought.
My phone vibrates. That’s better.
I lean against the side of the building and decide to text Shel. With getting back, and all of last night’s confessions, it slipped my mind to let my best friend know I’m home. Okay, I’m sure the drinking didn’t help, but learning what I did threw me. On top of all the Guardian stuff, I have to come to terms with the fact that I had two relationships – serious ones – that I have no recollection of having. It’s disturbing. In a way I feel violated, but in another I feel, I don’t know, fortunate? Smug? James and Dane aren’t hard on the eyes and in my limited time with them I know they are genuinely nice guys. In my world, if someone told me to identify them from a lineup of potential suitors, I’d epically fail.
I finish my message to Shel. Hey! I’m home. Trip got cut short. I hit my head; long story. Call me when you have time!
My cell vibrates within seconds. No way! I’ve SO missed you! Will you be around tonight? I’m at the hospital now.
She must have picked up some additional volunteer hours. Absolutely. Call me whenever :)
I put my phone in my coat pocket and pull out one of two granola bars I bought earlier. I nibble on it as I wait for Dane. My stomach accepts the food, but it’s hungry for more. I’m going to have to eat when I get home.
“Emma?”
I turn around. My housemate from upstairs, Samantha, is headed my way. I wave.
“I haven’t seen you in forever!” she gushes. “Where have you been?”
I swallow and smile. “Out of town.” I only remember hanging out with Samantha once, but the memory is hazy. “How are things?”
She sighs in an exaggerated way. “Todd and I broke up.”
As I recall, I didn’t like her boyfriend much, but I say “I’m sorry” anyway.
“I’m not.” She flips her blonde hair over her shoulder. “I wasted far too much of my time on that jerk.”
I nod, because I remember Todd. “So things are good then?”
“They could be better.” She smiles and steps closer to me. “I’m glad I ran into you because I’ve been meaning to ask…are you and Garrett together?”
I look at her dazed. “Um, no.”
“You guys aren’t dating?”
“Why would you think that? No, we’ve never dated.” I think. A miniature version of myself appears in my head and starts rummaging through imaginary files. I can’t find anything on Garrett and me as a couple. But then again, he’s a former Guardian, and I don’t remember those.
“Yay!” She claps her hands which embarrasses me. I look around to make sure no one is watching our exchange.
“I so want to ask him out, but he hasn’t been around, and then you weren’t around, so I figured you two were together, because you seemed really close and…”
I block her out as she babbles. Garrett and I were close? How close? My stomach starts to feel like lead. He mentioned he was my neighbor and James’ mentor; a Guardian becoming human. But that’s it. I couldn’t possibly have been involved with him too. Right?
“…so do you know where he is?”
I snap back to Samantha. “Yes. I mean no. I mean he should be back tomorrow.”
She notices my odd response. “You don’t mind if I ask him out do you? Is he seeing someone?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t think he’s seeing anyone.”
She beams. “Good!”
My eyes are distracted as Dane pulls to a stop along the curb in front of us. “There’s my ride,” I tell her as I push myself away from the wall. I can’t help but notice how wide her eyes get as she takes in his gray Camaro. “Good luck with Garrett,” I offer as the passenger door swings open from the inside. I start to make my way to the curb and she follows.
“Who’s your friend?” she asks.
I reach the open door and peer inside to find Dane leaning across the center console expecting me. “This is Dane,” I say as she crouches down and sticks her head in the car.
“Hi! I’m Samantha,” she eagerly introduces herself. “I live upstairs from Emma.”
Dane smiles. “Nice to meet you.”
“Same here!” She turns to me and pretends to whisper. “You should really bring your friends around more often.”
What?
She faces Dane again. “How long have you known Emma?”
My expression twists behind her back. Is that really any of her business?
“Awhile,” he says and looks at me, his eyes lighting up.
“Really,” she draws out the word. “Are you guys together?”
I scowl. What’s it to her?
“If she’ll have me.”
My mouth falls open at Dane’s honest response.
She glances back to give me a sour look then turns to give Dane a flirty one. “I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t!”
I picture her offering her services if things don’t work out with me, so I decide to end this conversation. “Well, it was good seeing you,” I say, pushing myself forward and forcing her back. I slide past her and into the seat, reaching for the door handle. “Let me know how it goes with Garrett.” Like I care.
“Totally.” She flashes her smile more for Dane’s benefit than mine. “If it works out we should double.”
I give her a sarcastic smile and slam the door. Dane snickers and tries to hide his amusement by biting his lower lip.
“What’s so funny?”
He laughs as he pulls away from the curb. “If you can’t figure it out I’m not telling you.”
“What? You like her flirting with you?”
He shrugs. “She’s cute.”
I groan. “Just a FYI: her eyes aren’t blue and her boobs aren’t real.”
Dane’s eyebrows shoot up. “Not that I could see her, ah…chest, but how do you know?”
I recall the one time we hung out together at the bar when she revealed she wore color contacts. I remember thinking her hair and her body were just as fake for some reason. “I don’t,” I concede. “Just a guess.”
“You shouldn’t spread rumors about people,” he chastises me. “It’s not nice.”
“And you shouldn’t keep private jokes.”
He sighs. “I was amused by your reaction, okay?”
I frown. “What reaction? I didn’t say anything.”
He shakes his head. “Actions speak louder than words. Think about it.”
My confused expression melts as the light dawns. He thinks I cut off the conversation because I was jealous. I open my mouth to dispute his thoughts, but then close it immediately. Samantha was annoying me and I want to go home to get rid of this headache. But, was jealousy my true motivation? I decide to change the topic.
“Samantha said something that bothered me.” I cross my arms.
“What’s that?”
“She asked if Garrett and I were dating. I told her we never did, but she said we were close.” I look at Dane. “I was never involved with Garrett, right? Please say I wasn’t.”
Dane smiles. “No, you weren’t involved with Garrett. As a matter of fact you texted me once – and I quote – “Garrett is not hot.”
“Why would I discuss that with you?”
“It was a mistake. You thought I was Shel.”
Hmmm. I didn’t think Garrett was hot? I conjure up a picture of his face and wonder why. I mean, I guess he’s not hot, but he’s a good-looking guy.
Dane interrupts my thoughts. “I know you two were friends and he helped you a lot with Guardian stuff. Other than that, I have no idea.”
I uncross my arms. “Well, that makes me feel better. I was starting to think I had personality amnesia. I can’t imagine myself attracting two guys let alone three.”
Dane shoots me a look. “You underestimate yourself.”
I choose to ignore him.
He turns into the parking lot for my apartment building and cuts the engine. I reach for my bag then the door handle.
“Hold on.” He grabs my arm. “I have something I want to run by you.”
I give him a questioning look.
“This afternoon, I was thinking about your memory and how to bring it back.”
I scoff. “Nothing good on TV?”
He lets go of my arm and moves his hand to my wrist where the bracelet I was given hangs outside of my coat sleeve. I have yet to take it off, and he hooks his finger beneath it. “I need you to remember,” he says as he stares at it. “I don’t think you understand how important it is.”
My face falls. “Of course I understand. Huge chunks of my life are gone; I’d like to have those back.”
“Do you understand how important your memories are to me, though?” He meets my eyes. “There’s so much we’ve shared I can’t possibly relay every detail. You would believe everything I tell you if you experienced it again.”
“I don’t think you’re lying to me if that’s what you’re worried about,” I say. “I trust you.” I don’t know why I trust him, but I do. I have since I met him again.
“Well, that’s something,” he says and pulls his hand away from my wrist.
He looks melancholy, which I don’t like, and I decide to entertain his thoughts. “Did you come up with anything good?” I ask. “To resurrect my past?”
“One thing,” he says quietly. “But you have to be open to it.”
Um, okay. I’m not sure I’m comfortable with how this sounds. He reaches for my hand and I allow him to take it, but I don’t grasp it back.
He prefaces his idea. “Don’t be mad...”
I’m not sure I’m going to like this.
“…but I think we should kiss.”
Evidently, I was holding my breath because I let it out in a rush. “That’s it?” I ask, relieved.
“Well, yeah. What did you think I was going to suggest?”
Blood rushes to my face. “I don’t know. The way you were talking…something more serious.”
He cocks an eyebrow and smiles. “Really? No, I wasn’t going there. Although, if you want to I wouldn’t say no...”
I smack his arm with my free hand. “No! I don’t want to.”
He laughs. “I thought kissing you might unlock something. You know, shake some memories loose.”
I wrinkle my nose as Snow White and Sleeping Beauty jump to mind.
He frowns. “You don’t like the idea?”
“It’s not that.” I shake my head. “I just had a Disney moment. Have you been watching fairytales?”
He smiles and releases my hand to bring his to my face. He traces my jaw and then gently holds my chin as he brings his mouth to mine.
“Wait,” I say, stopping him in his tracks. “You’re going to kiss me here? In the car?”
He leans back. “Why not? We’ve kissed here before. I thought a familiar location might help.”
Of course we’ve kissed in his car. What haven’t we done? I make a face.
He drops his hand. “What’s the matter?”
“It’s just… I don’t remember kissing anyone. It’s like this is my very first kiss ever. I don’t know what to do; I’m out of practice.”
“You weren’t out of practice last week,” he says and cradles my face again. “It’s like riding a bike.”
“A bike I don’t remember.”
He leans
forward and my heart begins to race. My throat constricts and my mouth goes dry. “Listen…” I stop him again.
“What?” He holds his face inches from mine.
“What if it’s not the same as before?” I’m grasping at straws. “What if it’s terrible and…”
“You’re stalling,” he says and brings his mouth down on mine.
I don’t know what to do, so I tense up and allow him to kiss me without much participation. Seconds pass and I begin to relax; as his mouth molds mine I follow his lead. Okay, I think, this isn’t so hard. No memories flash behind my closed eyes, so after a minute or two, I decide to make new ones. According to my brain this is my first kiss after all. Feeling more confident, I lean into his hold and press myself forward, reaching out to lay my hand against him, at his collar. Warmth radiates up my arm when I feel his skin beneath mine and spreads through my body. He realizes my hesitation is gone and his kiss becomes more urgent. Was this how it was before? Because this is pretty good.
Dane pulls his lips from mine just far enough to speak. “Anything?” he breathes.
I shake my head and try to find his mouth again.
BAM! BAM! BAM!
Three loud knocks on the car window startle us, and we spring apart. My head snaps to the right, and I see James standing outside my door, clearly pissed off. I glance quickly to Dane’s side and see Garrett.
My face flushes from embarrassment. Guess who’s back early?
Chapter 3
Why do I feel like a child who’s been caught by her parents?
I meet Dane’s eyes. He feels something as well, but it’s not shame. Its more disappointment mixed with irritation. The first thing that comes to mind slips out. “What do we do?”
He sighs. “Get out of the car.”
I reach for my bag and catch James staring at us with his arms crossed. “Can’t we just drive away?”
Dane looks out the windshield. “The curb’s kind of high…” He turns to me and smirks. “But, it’s the thought that counts.”
I make a face and reluctantly push the door open. James steps back as I emerge, but then walks forward as I stand. He fixes his clear blue eyes on me and asks, “Has your memory returned?”