by Sara Mack
Ash grins. “Which coat would you have brought?”
My mouth falls open, speechless.
“Ignore him,” Madeline says. “I do.” She removes herself from his embrace and clutches my hand. “Get over here,” she chastises her man. “She can’t do this without us.”
Our return from Arkansas ends our practice for the day and, shortly after, I find myself roaming around James’ apartment sipping hot chocolate. With Madeline and Ash’s help, James has been busy making the space his own. In addition to the furniture that was already there, he’s added two barstools under the counter that separates the dining area from the kitchen. In the living room, a new stereo system complete with surround sound speakers sits on the floor, fresh from its box. James kneels among the electronics, consulting instructions and pulling wires, trying to connect everything to the flat screen TV.
As I pass one of the side tables I notice another new addition. Pictures.
“Where did you get these?” I ask, curious.
“What?” He tears his eyes away from the blue and red cables.
“These pictures.” I lean in close and study them. The first photo is of James and his family. He’s standing between his parents at an ice rink somewhere, their arms wrapped around each other’s waists. He wears all of his hockey equipment except his helmet, and his hair is plastered with sweat. It looks like they were caught in the middle of a hearty laugh; he must have just finished a game.
The second picture causes my heart to stop momentarily. It’s of us at our high school graduation. We stand with our arms around one another clutching the fake diplomas they give out at the ceremony. We’re wearing our black cap and gowns, honor cords and National Honor Society stoles slightly askew as we lean in to one another. We look deliriously happy.
“Damn it,” he groans and rushes to my side. “You found your Christmas present.”
I frown. “It wasn’t exactly hidden. And why are you getting me a gift?”
James takes my drink from me and sets it on the table. He picks up the picture of us and turns it over, so all I can see is the back. On the white photo paper I see neat handwriting:
J & E – HS Graduation – June 2008
“I was going to wrap this,” he says, disappointed. “I didn’t mean to leave it out.”
“That’s okay,” I say. “I’m the one invading your space and snooping around.”
His blue eyes lock on mine. “I always want you to invade my space.” He grasps my hand and leads me to the couch, gesturing for me to have a seat. I do and he sits beside me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pressing me to his side. He turns the picture over and holds it out in front of me. “Merry Christmas.”
I give him a small smile and tentatively take it. “Thanks.”
“I know we aren’t exchanging gifts, but I wanted to give you something from our past.” James traces the edge of the picture. “I wish I could have found something more sentimental, but my parents have packed my life away and hidden it in the armory that is their basement.”
I looked at him in surprise. “You broke into your parent’s house?”
“Not technically. I appeared inside while they were sleeping.”
I smile. “How long did it take you to find this?”
“A minute,” he sighs. “The only evidence of my existence is my senior picture that hangs on the living room wall. Besides that, my bedroom has been turned into a guest room and everything else has been boxed, sealed, and stowed.”
My heart aches. Are his parents trying to forget him? I kiss his cheek. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugs. “I know my mom was having a hard time handling things. I think this is her way of grieving. I mean, I didn’t expect to find a James shrine or anything.”
“But next to nothing?” I turn toward him. “That has to be hard. Your life should be celebrated, not forgotten.”
He smiles. “I’m glad you think so.”
I turn back toward his gift. “Tell me about this day.”
“You remember most of it, don’t you?”
“Well, yeah,” I admit. “But not this.” I wave the picture. “What did we do after this? I thought I went to Shel’s house.”
“You’re right.” He squeezes my shoulder. “We went to Shel’s house. There was a ton of people there. Remember her mom was out of town and she left ‘the plan’ for Shel in case the police showed up?”
I laugh. “Yes! The ‘toss-the-keg-out-the-back-door-and-down-the-hill’ plan?”
“The very one,” he laughs with me. “I’m glad we didn’t have to do that; our blatant disregard for the law led to our one and only karaoke concert.”
Oh lord. “Karaoke concert? As in we sang more than one song?”
He nods. “I think we started with “You Shook Me All Night Long,” threw in some Black Eyed Peas, and ended with “Friends in Low Places.”
I cringe. “You’re making that up.”
He smiles. “I’m not. Ask Matt and Shel.”
I cover my eyes with my hand. Singing in front of people? That had to be the most ridiculous thing ever. “Why did you let me embarrass myself like that?”
His free hand trails across my belly and to my hip, pulling me closer. “Why wouldn’t I? It was a spur of the moment thing. Besides, you can actually sing. I’m terrible.”
We fall silent for a moment, and I contemplate what he’s told me. It sounds like we had a ton of fun together. I touch his face on the photograph. “Thank you for this,” I say sincerely. “We look happy.”
His arm tightens around me. “We were.”
My gaze shifts to him and he leans forward to kiss me softly. It feels relaxed and comfortable as I lean into him. After a minute he moves back and asks me, “What are you doing tomorrow?”
I sigh. “Shopping with Shel. We need to find dresses for the New Year’s Eve party.”
“What New Year’s Eve party?”
“Oh.” I straighten up. “The annual Bay Woods employee holiday party. It’s a masquerade.”
He face falls a little. “I take it Dane is your date?”
I swallow. “Yeah.”
His hold on me relaxes. “What about Christmas? What are your plans?”
“You know. The same old, same old. Gifts and dinner with Mike and Kate.” I hesitate. Should I mention Dane? Probably not.
He pulls the picture from my fingers, sets it back on the side table, and wraps his arms around me again. “I wish I could take you to the party. Or to anything for that matter.”
I rest my head on his shoulder. “I don’t get many invitations. It’s no big deal.”
“You’re missing the point,” he says against my hair. “I’ll never be able to take you anywhere. Not as long as I stay around this town, anyway. Not to dinner, not to a movie, not even to the damn grocery store.”
I slide my arms around his waist and hug him to let him know I understand. What he says is true. To avoid recognition, the safest thing for James to do is move out of state. And, if I want to be with him in any kind of normal sense, that means I would have to leave, too. The thought of us living in some sort of pseudo-hiding depresses me.
I change the subject and apologize to try and make things better. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you a gift. Let me make it up to you. Name something you want. Anything.”
He looks surprised. “You mean it?”
Mentally, I smack myself. That comment sounded much more innocent in my head. “Within reason,” I elaborate. “Do you have a favorite movie? I’ll get it and we’ll watch it together. Or how about a favorite band? You could blend in at a concert.”
After a few seconds gives me a tiny smile. “Stay the night with me.”
I look at him uncertainly. “Like how do you mean?”
“Like this,” he says and wraps his hand around my knee. He pulls it up, hooking my leg over his, and scoots as close to me as possible.
“Snuggled on the couch?” I ask.
“We’ll probably get kinks
in our necks,” he says. “How about we move to the bedroom and make it more comfortable?”
“Emma?” My brother waves his hand in front of my face. “Where are you today?”
I blink and refocus. Yet again, my mind has traveled back to the night I spent with James. Don’t get me wrong; all of my rules remain unbroken. We did nothing more than spend the time cuddled close, sharing an occasional kiss or two, and reminiscing about our past. It felt right, and I don’t regret it.
So, how is it that I’m super excited to see Dane today? Shouldn’t that feel wrong? Talk about confusing emotions. How twisted is it to want them both in my life? And when will they get fed up with me?
“Here.” Mike thrusts a stocking into my hands. “Let’s do this.”
I stick my tongue out at my brother. “Pushy much?” What’s his hurry anyway? Its Christmas morning. Let’s make it last.
I glance around the room to see my parents and Kate have already started gutting their stockings, so I reach into mine. The first things I remove are two pair of fuzzy slipper socks. My mom knows those are my favorite. The next item is a package of hair bands as is standard every year. Further down, I discover a gift card for the local movie theater and another for a pedicure.
“Thanks!” I smile at my mom and dad. “How did you know my feet are gross?”
“With the amount you’ve been working out lately I figured they might need help,” my mom says from her perch on the couch.
I’ve been covering up my Larvatus training sessions by lying. I told my parents I was taking a self-defense class which they allowed due to “Patrick the Outlaw.”
I reach to the bottom of my stocking and discover some dark chocolate. Again, another favorite.
After our stockings are empty we tear into our presents. Kate loves the gift card and earrings I got her – score! – and my brother appreciates his long sleeved tees from American Eagle. Both of them went in together and got me the most gorgeous cashmere sweater. Talk about soft.
After my parents thank us for their gifts, my brother, Kate, and I are blown away when they present us with identically shaped boxes. They bought us all iPads. I think James probably heard our collective gasp of surprise the next town over when we opened them. How incredibly awesome are my mom and dad?
Once the paper is cleaned up, Kate and I head to the kitchen to start brunch. We’ve never been early risers, so it’s brunch instead of breakfast. My brother stops us before we leave the living room though.
“Can you guys come back here for a minute?”
I turn to look at him, and he looks paler than pale. Upon further inspection he looks a little shaky, too. I glance at Kate, and I can tell she notices. Concern flashes across her face.
We step back into the living room and Mike reaches for Kate’s hand, pulling her ahead of me. He stops in the center of the room, near where my dad is seated in his recliner. He takes a deep breath and drops to one knee.
Oh my God.
“Kate,” he says, still holding on to her, “every minute of every day I love you more.” He pauses and lifts his free hand. Pinched between his index finger and thumb is a sparkling diamond ring. “I think you know what this means but…will you marry me?”
Kate yanks her hand away from his to cover her mouth in surprise. Tears dance in her eyes as she stares at him. After a few seconds she utters a barely audible “Yes.”
“What was that?” My brother leans forward with a hint of a smile.
“Yes!” She grins. She lowers her left hand to him, which is now shaking, and Mike slides the ring on to her finger. He beams up at her; I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so happy.
He stands and Kate throws herself against him in huge hug. Immediately, my mom, dad, and I descend upon them. My mom wipes the tears from Kate’s cheeks as they laugh and hug; my dad shakes Mike’s hand and slaps him on the shoulder.
When I pull away from hugging Kate I snag her hand to study her ring. “Wow,” I say and I mean it. My brother did an amazing job. A round diamond sits in the center of a platinum band, completely surrounded by smaller stones. The band itself has four diamonds that extend down each side and the entire ring shimmers. “It’s beautiful.”
I look at my brother, who I’ve never regarded as so grown up. Stepping forward, I gently punch him in the arm. “It’s about time!”
He laughs as I wrap one arm around him in an awkward hug. Happy tears prick my eyes. “Seriously. Congratulations,” I say into his shoulder.
He pats my back. “Thanks, Em.”
Hours later, I lie on the couch playing with my Christmas gift. I’ve already downloaded two books, messed with the camera, and set up my email, so I can check it with one touch. I love my iPad.
Around five o’clock the only thing that could distract me from my new gift occurs which is a knock on the back door. I spring up to answer it.
“Ah. I see lover boy has arrived,” Mike teases me.
I shoot him a look. “Please behave.”
I pass through the kitchen, where my mom and Kate are busy talking, while dinner bakes. When I open the door to find Dane on the stoop I can’t help but bust out in a huge smile. “Hey.”
He grins at me. “Nice sweater.”
“Thanks.” I look down at myself. “Mike and Kate got it for me.” I step back to let him inside and close the door behind him. “Want me to take your coat?”
“Sure.” He hands me the gifts he’s carrying which causes me to mentally frown. Why did he bring presents? He shrugs out of a black pea coat and then exchanges it for the packages. I turn and open the coat closet to hang it up. Surprisingly, he steps behind the door with me so we’re blocked from the kitchen. I look at him, and he plants a quick kiss on my lips. “Merry Christmas,” he says and smiles.
“Merry Christmas,” I whisper. “Why are you kissing me in the closet?”
“Because I can’t do it in front of your family.”
I laugh.
“Dane’s here,” I announce as we enter the kitchen and my mom smiles his way.
“I’m glad you could join us,” she says. “I hope you like ham.”
“Thanks for having me,” he responds politely then holds his stomach. “Of course I like ham.”
“Dane, this is Kate. My brother’s fiancée,” I emphasize the word.
He raises his eyebrows. “Did this just happen?”
She grins and nods like a little kid.
“Congratulations,” he says and extends his hand to shake hers. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” she responds.
He juggles the gifts in his arms. “Do you want me to take those?” I ask. “Why did you bring presents anyway?”
“Because it’s the polite thing to do,” he says like I should know better. He smiles as he holds out a small rectangular bag to my mother. “This is for you and your husband.”
She takes the gift reluctantly. “You shouldn’t have.” She sets it on the counter and pulls out a bottle of wine. She looks impressed and thanks him.
He smiles at her and then turns to me, holding the remaining gift out of reach. “I guess you don’t want yours.”
“Why did you get me something?” First James, now Dane? Someone could have filled me in on the gift-giving! I feel like an inconsiderate jerk.
“Because I wanted to surprise you,” he says. His eyes widen.
“You might want to open this in private.”
Hmmm. Where could we go? “Let me introduce you to my brother and give you a tour,” I say and grab his hand, leading him into the living room. My mom and Kate will think I merely wanted to change the subject.
“Dad? Mike? Dane’s here.”
Both my father and brother pull their eyes from the television to look at my guest. “Nice to see you again,” my dad says. Mike simply waves.
I continue to lead Dane past them, toward the stairs. “Are you going to let me say hello?” he asks.
“Yeah. Where are you going?” Mike says as I step
on the first stair.
“I’m showing him around the house,” I say. “He’s never been past the kitchen.” I think.
As we ascend the stairs I hear Mike ask my dad, “You’re going to let her take a boy to her room?”
Gah! What are we? Sixteen?! He’s never cared before! “Shut up Mike!” I holler behind me.
I hear him laugh as Dane snickers. At the top of the stairs, I point out the rooms as we pass them. “Bathroom, Mike’s old room, my room,” I say as we enter.
He pauses as he studies the place I grew up. I admit it’s kind of girly – all of my furniture is white, and my bed set is sage and ivory with a little pink around the edges. My clothes hamper overflows and LB’s toys are scattered around the floor. A few boxes from the move still sit in one corner, and my closet door is ajar. Okay. It does look like a teenager lives here.
Dane’s eyes finally land on me and they look amused.
“What?” I cross my arms. “I know it’s a mess. I wasn’t expecting to bring you up here.”
“It’s not that.” He smiles. “I can just picture you growing up in this room. Protective older brother down the hall, loving parents in the kitchen. Running down the stairs on Christmas morning.”
I eye him suspiciously. “Since when did you turn into a Lifetime Original Movie?”
He chooses not to answer me and presents his gift. “For you.”
Warily, I take it. “Is this going to embarrass me?”
“It shouldn’t.”
I sit on the bed and set the box on my lap. Well, two boxes. There’s a small one on top of larger one, wrapped in thick gold paper that looks like a tapestry. A stunning red bow made of fabric holds the two together. “Did you wrap this yourself?”
He takes a seat beside me. “I wish I could say I did, but no. I had help.”
“Teagan?” I joke. She’s been working him around the clock.
His expression twists. “No. Cynthia from Accounting.”
I nod like I know who Cynthia is. I slide the bow off the present and set it aside. I pull the smaller box away from the first and carefully tear off the paper. When I remove the lid I’m speechless.
“I know you’re not big on jewelry,” Dane says and pulls the item from the box. “But this reminded me of you.”