She climbed the stairs to her bedroom, looked at the phone again, saw there were no messages, and took the phone into the bathroom, putting it on the counter while she showered.
The heat was hypnotic and relaxing, but throughout the shower and getting ready after, all she could think about was Ryder. His hands, his eyes. That body. It was like he had bewitched her utterly.
She was still in kind of a fog, unsure what to do about the Ryder situation, feeling like her brain was just on the brink of a breakthrough about it when she headed out the door to meet Barry. She kept her phone close at hand in her pocket and wore a heavy trench that concealed her body. She hadn’t liked the way Barry looked at her.
This was exactly the kind of meeting she would have wanted to go to with Ryder. He was probably ace at negotiations and difficult discussions. It was the difference between a simple accountant and someone who made billions. That hard edge she knew she’d never have. She was too soft.
But Ryder could be soft too, when the time called for it. He’d been so gentle. Contrasted with his hard side, the in-control side, the plunging-into-her-while-uttering-oaths-of-wonder side, she wasn’t sure which she loved more.
And that was it. The whole problem. She loved him. As improbable as it was that he could love her after this short time, she was fairly certain, in an animal way deep down inside her, that she loved him back. And didn’t that leave her in a funny position?
She kept her head down as she walked down the street toward her shop. But between buildings, at a place where the woods bordered the street, someone jumped out, startling her.
“Barry!” she said, taking a step away from him. “I thought we were meeting at the store.”
“We were,” he said, eyes narrowing. “I had a change of plans.”
Her stomach coiled in response and she gingerly put one hand in her pocket to feel for her phone, making sure it was still there and she could dial it in a moment’s notice. “I’d really rather meet up at the office. I was looking forward to my morning walk. Alone.” She emphasized the last word and his expression seemed to darken.
“Fine,” he said, and he walked ahead of her and disappeared around a corner.
“Phew.” She breathed a sigh of relief and kept walking, this time at a brisker pace. She didn’t want to talk to him here. It’d be too easy for him to pull her off into the woods. Not that he had any reason to, but she just felt nervous around him.
Her heart sank and she brushed her fingers over the phone again. Had Barry left the threatening message? Because he knew if she stayed at the lodge, she’d expose him? If so, Barry was stupid if he thought Janna was the real threat. Ryder was equally capable with numbers and was clearly on to him. She shrugged, shook her head, and kept walking, but then something darted out, bit down on the back of her coat, and yanked her viciously off the path.
She screamed but was cut off when the animal brutishly jerked her around. It dragged her, stunned, into the woods, and Janna was grateful for her thick coat that protected her from the cold ground and the protruding sticks.
“Let me go!” she said, struggling against the hold on her coat that had it pulled up, almost choking her. “What are you doing?” She craned her neck and gasped when she realized it was a bear holding her. Shit! The bear from the window. “No!”
She thrashed her arms, and the bear ignored her, dragging her farther into the woods where she doubted anyone would hear her.
Even Barry, who might have been close enough to help a minute ago, probably couldn’t hear her now. If she could even scream when the coat was cutting off her air.
“Can’t… breathe,” she choked out, and the bear went a few feet and then dropped her. She yanked at her collar, pulling the coat down and preparing to scream, but the bear got in her face, snarling and snapping its jaws viciously in warning. Each time she dared open her mouth, it did it again.
She cringed away, heart stammering. But because this was her third encounter with the bear, she was determined to try and stay calm. After all, her life depended on it.
The bear paced in front of her, somehow satisfied as long as she seemed afraid. It wasn’t hard. The teeth in that massive jaw could easily tear her apart. Thinking about it was… not enjoyable.
“What do you want?” she asked. She somehow sensed this was no regular bear, and even though her rational mind knew there was no point talking to animals, she knew it couldn’t hurt. And rational thinking didn’t exactly apply to being stalked and kidnapped by a bear who didn’t seem to want to eat her.
Why would it want her, then?
Then the bear stopped, eyeing her, and she swore she could see hunger in those deep, dark depths. But not for food. She opened her mouth in shock, and the bear roared, raising a paw as if to strike her. She put up a hand to block her face and winced, bracing for the blow. This was it. There was nothing she could do.
She wouldn’t even get to say good-bye to Ryder. To find out his mystery.
The blow never came. Instead, with a roar, a large, brown, shaggy mass flew at the black bear, knocking it away from her and wrestling it to the ground. It was the grizzly from the night before. Though it was twice the size of the black bear and truly a terrifying, ferocious sight, for some reason, all she could feel was relief at its presence. She scrambled back as the bears fought, roaring and slashing at each other.
She wanted to look away, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the scene. She knew that her life depended on who won.
Luckily, it was over fairly quickly. The black bear was in submission and trying to crawl away, and the grizzly had him pinned with one paw. The black bear winced as the grizzly raised his other paw to finish the job, and then, as if something were blurring in front of her eyes, the black bear changed. She blinked and nearly missed it but could swear that black bear had just twisted and transformed into a man.
Barry. Naked.
Her eyes went wide as saucers and she covered her them as the grizzly bear let out an angry roar.
“You can’t kill me while I’m human,” Barry stammered weakly.
Her heart pounded and her brain struggled to comprehend his words. While he was human? She looked at the grizzly.
The grizzly looked angry, frustrated by Barry’s cowardice, but it stepped back to let him go. Barry put his hands up as the bear stared down at him.
“I’m going. I promise. I didn’t think she was your mate. I thought you were just playing with her. I’m not stupid enough to come between a grizzly and his mate. But I didn’t think you’d take a human with so little bear in her…”
The grizzly roared, and Janna felt lightheaded at what she was hearing. But the weirdest was yet to come.
“Mess with my mate again, and I’ll make you wish you were never born. Human or not!”
Janna recognized that low, growly voice. But had never heard it sound so angry.
“Ryder?” she asked, wondering where he was hiding. Why was he somewhere in the woods when she was being attacked by a bear?
The bear looked at her with something like guilt in its ageless eyes. Eyes that were shadowed by a long, shaggy pelt but nevertheless looked right into her soul with a piercing shade of sapphire blue.
What. The. Hell?
“I’m sorry, honey,” the bear said, mouth moving unnaturally.
That’s it. She was hallucinating. She scooted back another step, then looked over at Barry as he took advantage of the bear’s attention on her to run screaming from the scene.
Somehow, she didn’t think they’d have to worry about him anymore.
“Don’t be scared,” the bear said, coming closer. “It’s me.”
Her heart stammered wildly and she let out a little squeak as she scrambled back. Then the bear blurred in front of her face, as the other had done before Barry appeared, and she found herself looking at a pair of large, naked thighs.
Ryder sighed and dropped to crouch in front of her, eye to eye. “I’m sorry, honey. I tried to tell you.”
>
Her head went light. “Oh, so you’re the bear,” she said weakly, barely certain if the words were coming from her own mouth at this point.
He nodded.
“Ah,” she said faintly. “That makes sense.”
Then she fainted dead away.
Chapter 16
When Janna woke up, she was back in her bedroom. It was bright outside, with shards of light penetrating the curtains drawn closed at her window. But it was dark in the room. The light was off, and a shadowy figure was sitting next to her bed on a chair brought up from kitchen.
The figure was tall, dark-haired, and familiar.
“Ryder?” she said, sitting up and rubbing her head. Her hair was frizzy and out of control, and she fumbled on her nightstand for a hair band and pulled it into a rough ponytail. Then she flicked the switch to turn on the lamp. “What are you doing here?” She sighed. “I had the weirdest dream.”
Then she noticed the scratches on his face, the dirt on his clothing.
Maybe it wasn’t a dream.
“I should have told you sooner,” he said quietly. “I’m usually a good strategist. Completely in control. Able to execute a plan just the way I want. But that all went out the window when it came to you.”
“Didn’t you think I’d want to know you were a bear before I started dating you?” she asked quietly. Then she shook her head. When was a good time to spring that on someone? “I mean, at least after we were intimate the first time, you could have mentioned it.”
“And you wouldn’t have run away screaming?” he asked quietly, his handsome face calm and resigned. “Don’t lie. You fainted when you saw me. But I couldn’t help it at that point. I had to shift or you would think another bear was threatening you.”
“So you were the grizzly bear outside the window?” she asked, putting a hand up to her lips. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. Thank you for saving me.”
“Of course,” he said seriously.
She put her hands over her face. “What a mess.”
“It was bad luck, I admit.” He shrugged. “All I was thinking about was how to keep you safe. And now that you’ve seen my grizzly up close, you see why me shifting in that tiny room would have been a bad idea. My claws could have caught you.”
She nodded, trying to calm the part of her that kept screaming this shouldn’t be possible, that she must be dreaming. But she wasn’t. She had clearly just woken up. And Ryder Hart was really in front of her, flesh and blood, talking about being able to turn into a bear.
“Your brothers, are they like you?”
He nodded.
“Oh my gosh. The world’s hottest movie star is a freaking bear.”
“I wouldn’t call him the hottest,” Ryder said. “For now, he seems to be doing well with the romantic roles. But the world is fickle that way.”
“Maybe,” she said. “But that doesn’t change that he’s a bear. A freaking bear.”
His jaw twitched. “And what’s wrong with bears?” He took a deep breath and relaxed back on the chair, long legs stretched in front of him as he folded his arms. “Never mind. Honestly, if I was more used to shifting, I probably could have handled the situation better. In a way that made you feel safe but still kept you safe. But I’m a city bear. I panicked and I let my bear take over. And he just wanted to go out and beat off the bear that was threatening you. Bears fight for mates, you know.”
She nodded. Did she know that? How much did she really know about bears? How much did she think about them?
“So how often are you a bear?” she asked. “Like, do you have to live as one sometimes?”
He shrugged. “I would think not. I haven’t had a lot of bear time growing up in Silicon Valley. I remember shifting more when I was little. When Dad was around to take us out into the wilderness.”
“What happened that made you move?”
Ryder flinched, and she almost wished she hadn’t asked the question. But if she was going to open up with him, she needed to know all she could.
“My mother died in a car accident. I don’t even know what caused it. I was on the computer, messing around like usual. I was a prodigy even then, better with electronics than people. More interested in making money than making friends. But I heard Riley’s scream. I came downstairs. Dad was standing there.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said, knowing the words were wholly inadequate but knowing with grieving people, sometimes it was best to just apologize and let them speak.
“Dad wasn’t around a lot. I think we blamed him. We hadn’t seen him for a week when he came home with the news. He hadn’t been with her when it happened. The police had called him.”
“Where was he?”
Ryder pressed his firm lips together and sat forward with clasped hands. “My dad was raised in a different generation. Bear shifters were getting so rare; there was a lot of pressure to mate with as many people as possible. Rather than take one life mate. It wasn’t until I read the letter in his will that I understood.”
“So he was off cheating?” She dropped her jaw but pulled it back up with some effort. Ryder didn’t need her judgment right now. He’d clearly struggled with this for years. “Sorry, what did the letter say?”
“It said not to make the same mistake. That we should try and find happiness at Bearstone Park, like he did, but this time, not mess it up.”
“And you all agreed to come?”
“He was our father. Of course we did. Bears may be solitary creatures, but they are loyal. In the wild, there’s never enough food for them to travel together. But when they see each other, they are often happy to cuddle or greet one another. When my mother died, my father finally realized everything that had been told him was wrong. He knew he should have mate claimed my mother. But you have to understand, back when he was growing up, only wolves mate claimed. Bears were considered too rare and encouraged to be promiscuous, like they were in the wild.”
“Mate claim? What’s that?” she asked, feeling a prickle of anticipation at the thought.
“It’s when a shifter claims a mate, essentially saying she’s his for life and he’s hers alone. I think my father knew my mother was his mate, but he fought it, trying to do his duty while keeping her happy as much as he could.”
“How did she cope with that?”
“Well, I think she knew she was the one he loved. I liked to think that. She never showed us a sad face. She probably kept that to herself. When they were together, they were truly happy. And she had us.”
“Hm, I see,” she said, thinking if Ryder meant to propose something like that, she’d tell him where he could stick his promiscuity.
“But in that letter he wrote me in his will, he said he knew what a mistake it all had been. He’d lived an unhappy life, away from his mate when she truly needed him. When he could have been protecting her. And she was the only one that ended up giving him children anyway.”
“So you want me to have your kids?” she asked skeptically. “I don’t even know if I want that. At least not yet.”
He shook his head. “Just listen. Look, I realized what my dad said when I first laid eyes on you. And from then on, I was destined to follow you, just like a male bear would follow a female in the wild. You were the one. I knew it when I saw you, just like my dad knew it when he saw my mom.”
“How?” she asked. “Is this what you meant when you said you knew in some special part of you that we were made for each other? How did you know?”
He shook his head, and his dark hair fluttered, catching the morning light. The sight made her catch her breath. The fact that everything had been crazy didn’t change the good times they had together. The times everything felt right. And how undeniably handsome he was. She just needed to hear a little more before she made a decision.
Even if her heart was already leaning toward Ryder.
“What do you want from me?” she asked when he didn’t answer.
“All of you,” he said gravely, meeting her eyes with hi
s intent sapphire irises. “Is that too much to ask?” He laughed hoarsely and sat up in his chair. “As for how I knew… I just did. I can’t explain it. The same way I know what to invest in and what to sell. Instinct, but on a much stronger, deeper level. I thought my dad was full of it when he talked about love at first sight, but I knew how wrong I was when I saw you.”
“That’s ridiculous,” she said as much at her own joyful response to his admission as to his declaration itself.
He moved forward, taking her hand. It nearly disappeared in his huge fingers and made her think of other places she’d felt that warm, comforting touch. “Do I really seem like a flippant man to you? Do I seem like the type that would completely abandon my work to go after just any woman? Do I seem like the type that would make love to her, say I love her, and ask her to spend her life with me, all for a lay?”
She frowned. That was true. But even though she now knew he wasn’t a coward, her heart was still trying to move into untrusting mode. “How do I know you won’t be like your dad?” she asked.
“Because I’ll mate claim you. The mate claim is a serious promise. It means that I die when you die, and it means I never mate with another. And you don’t either.”
“Sort of like marriage for humans?” she asked.
“Yes, but more serious,” he said. “Mate claims are no joke in the bear world. Especially since there have been relatively few cases of it. We’ve known how to do it but haven’t wanted to for many years because we were afraid the race was dying out. But if it’s going to die out anyway, we may as well be happy. Honestly, I didn’t care if the race died out if it was the reason my mom and dad fell apart.”
“Understandable,” she said, feeling a prickle of excitement for what was coming. “So how do you mate claim?”
“It’s a little complicated,” he said. “It’s two part.”
“Okay, what is it?”
He shook his head, kissed her hand, and placed it back on her knee. Then he stood and placed a hand on either side of her on the bed. “I can’t tell you yet. Not until you agree.”
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