He helped her balance while she got changed. “Maybe. Depends who Taylor is. And why you were thinking of him after we made love.”
“Ah,” she said, scooting back to sit against the headboard so she could rest while they talked. “So it was making love, was it? And that entitles you to info about my life?”
“Hell yes it does,” he growled, holding the sheets around his waist as he got up to change as well. “It matters if you’re going to say another guy’s name while you’re in my bed.”
“Ryan, I don’t get it. You’ve run from me for ages, and even now, you only agreed to what we were doing because your body wouldn’t say no, and you said it didn’t change anything. It doesn’t make sense for you to get all jealous and possessive now. I’m not what you wanted. You said so yourself.”
He scratched his head, looking adorably confused and stuck, and paced with the sheet around his low, slim hips. She got a glimpse of long, tan, muscular legs as he strode across the floor. “What if I’ve changed my mind?”
“After sex?” she asked, frowning. She shook her head. She wouldn’t have expected him to be the type to get love-struck over a good lay. She was the virgin; she was the one who was supposed to be gooey-eyed after the encounter.
And what an encounter it had been. Just the thought of it made her want to drool and drag him back onto the bed for round two. But judging by the way he was pacing angrily, that was unlikely.
“Ryan, you can’t honestly think that us sleeping together changes anything.”
He turned on her, nearly dropping the sheet, but catching it at the last moment, much to her disappointment. She caught a glimpse of the golden hair trailing down from his belly button and had the oddest urge to lick it. Whatever sex had done to him, it had made her just want more of it. Made her more okay with just living in the moment and accepting whatever came after.
But not if Ryan was determined to have one-sided standards of who had to like whom exclusively. And not if he wasn’t going to be reasonable about this sex thing.
“What if I told you that I realized something I knew all along? That you’re meant for me. That we’re perfect for each other.”
She rested her chin in her hands and leaned on her knees. “I’d say you were confused. I’m the same person I’ve been for nearly a year, while you ran the opposite way from me. You left, Ryan. You went across the world, that’s how much you didn’t want me.”
“I know,” he said. “I was stupid.”
“And what, sex makes you smart? I’d say it was the other way around.”
“Are you saying I can’t have feelings for you?” he asked, storming toward the bed angrily. “Are you saying I’m not allowed to think that the reason that was so damn good between us is because it was always meant to happen?”
“Look, Ryan. Once, I thought much the same thing. Then you left. And you came back, but only because you got hurt. For all I know, this…” She swept her hand over the bedroom scene. “Wouldn’t even have happened if you hadn’t been utterly humbled.”
“But I was,” he said, sitting on the bed with her, reaching for her hand. She tried to pull away but he caught it, brought it to his lips and kissed the knuckle. “And I’m here. And it did happen. And maybe it was all for a reason.”
She was torn. It was like something out of a fantasy. It was exactly what she had told herself not to expect after having sex with him, and thus, it was the one thing she wasn’t prepared for.
And she still couldn’t shake the feeling that it was all because he was just jealous of Taylor and didn’t like his little follower crushing on anyone but him. Not that he needed to know who Taylor really was. That was for her to disclose if and when she wanted to. And she didn’t owe anything to this entitled man who amounted to nothing more than a friend and a one-night stand.
Even if she desperately wanted it to be more than one night.
She knew he’d eventually go back to snowboarding, to the world of cheering crowds. He loved the mountains. She knew that. But he was right, they weren’t the right type. They were incredibly attracted to each other, she knew that for sure. But she’d never be able to make him happy. Never be able to keep up or impress him the way he impressed her.
And if she believed him now, when he suddenly said she was the one, she’d just be that much more heartbroken when he came to his senses.
“I can’t believe I’m finally reciprocating your crush and you don’t believe me,” he said, slumping on the bed and folding his arms as he thought it through.
“Why? Did you expect me to just fall at your feet after a few orgasms? I’m a virgin but I’m not that desperate.”
“You can’t think that was just sex.”
“It was good sex,” she said. “But that’s all it was. You made sure I knew that before we started.”
“I was an ass. I’m…” He scratched his head again and let out an annoyed noised. “I’m kind of an odd person. I’m really good at understanding people. But not myself. But when you were there, tied up beneath me, writhing, looking so beautiful, so pleasured, I just knew. I can’t explain how, and I don’t expect you to believe me, but I really did just know. We’re meant for each other.”
“So you’re expecting me to believe the you that has just had amazing sex and may be confused, instead of the you that clearly explained there could be nothing between us?” she asked. “Ryan, that doesn’t make sense. For either of us. No. I’m not doing that. There’s no point. We can’t. Now, the only question is, can we keep doing snowboarding lessons together, or is that going to be too much for you?”
He bit his lip and considered it.
* * *
Ryan couldn’t believe how the tables had turned. He hadn’t imagined a scenario in which she rejected him. It was preposterous. And for some reason, it only made him more attracted and more stuck in his position that she was his. He was determined to figure out who this Taylor person was so he could make sure he was out of the way.
He couldn’t explain how it had felt to be holding her, thinking of her as his, picturing the happy ending, and hear her say another man’s name. He had just stayed there, seething, waiting for her to wake up so he could ask her who the hell this other man was, that she’d be thinking of him after being with Ryan.
He could feel the dominant bear in him stirred up. The alpha. He was the youngest of his brothers, but the most dominant, the most intense. His brothers knew it. Other people seemed to sense it. His testosterone level also applied to his risk-taking ability with his sport.
But it had the odd downside of making him intensely possessive and competitive. She was his, and from the moment he’d decided it, it had been written in stone.
He could be a silly person. In denial, missing what was dead in front of him. But he wasn’t a person who could forget something he’d decided and go back into denial. No, once out he was out. He grated his teeth together and tried to think of his next move.
The little minx looked cool as a cucumber, while he was burning with irritation. Should they continue their snowboard lessons, she wanted to know. Ha! Let her try and get out of them.
He supposed it was only fair, since she’d been the one to chase him hopelessly, that now it was his turn. And he’d do it. He’d do whatever it took to win her over. Because she had a point. It did look weird, him waking up seemingly in love.
She didn’t know that he was a shifter, and that sometimes mates were just destined to be, and it was just a matter of the shifter realizing it. He’d been the one to help his brothers realize it, because they weren’t in touch with their shifter sides. But as someone who had grown up close to his bear side, he should have expected better from himself. Truthfully, he’d thought he knew what his bear wanted. Strong, athletic, another bear. He’d forgotten to just be quiet and listen to the instinct inside him that had never led him astray in his life.
Dammit, he’d just been thinking way too hard and missed what was right in front of him.
But an
y time he tried to think otherwise, the image of her sprawled on his bed, blond hair splayed over his pillow, tortured him with the knowledge that it was definitely her alone. But, watching her calmly dress and ask if they should even keep hanging out together, he had to ask himself, with a small sense of dread, if he was too late with her.
“What if I at least want to take you out?” he asked. “What about that?”
She frowned but seemed to consider it. He couldn’t blame her. He just hoped he’d be half as patient with her as she’d been with him. Which would be hard, considering his bear was all ready to take her back to the cave and claim her.
“Where?”
“The bar?” he asked. “Anywhere you want to go?”
She sighed and looked at the clock by the bed. He was losing her, and he didn’t even know why.
“Look, I know you can’t believe in insta-love, but can you at least believe that I want to start over for us?”
“Why?” she snapped, turning on him. “Because you feel bad for me? You’ve been acting differently ever since you saw my leg.”
“What about it?” he asked. “You aren’t the first amputee I’ve known, and it doesn’t change anything for me. Well, it changed my opinion in that I have a lot of respect for how you were willing to show me something like that just to help me pull out of my funk.”
“Fine,” she said. “Then what is different?”
I found out my bear wants to do you. No, that was bad. I found out my bear wants to do you, and only you, forever? I found out my bear is in love with you, and no other woman will do?
He tortured his hair with both hands, trying to think of any explanation that didn’t involve the bear thing. Because he couldn’t dare tell her that until he was sure she would accept him. There were serious consequences if a human who wasn’t a mate was told. Consequences that often involved abduction and brain washing, and he’d never let that happen to Kylie. He’d die first.
Damn, he’d die to protect her. He didn’t even have to hesitate. She was definitely his mate. And she was definitely still angry.
It made sense. Just because she’d been willing to drag him out of the house and snowboard with him, it didn’t mean she was willing to put everything behind them. And what if she’d only had sex with him because she was attracted? She had agreed to the one time thing. That didn’t seem to be a good sign for him getting her to commit.
Dammit, this was supposed to be simple. When he’d been making love to her, he’d thought it would be. Why was it so much easier to figure out everyone else’s relationship than your own?
“You’re struggling over there, aren’t you?” she asked. “Look, Ryan, whatever you’re going through, I sympathize. But honestly, you still have a head injury… I can’t…”
“You think it’s because of my head injury?” he burst out. “What the hell?”
“You’re supposed to have a traumatic brain injury,” she said. “You’re not supposed to be fully functioning for a while. You may look and seem fine, but you might have some wires crossed.”
“And you say this after sleeping with me.”
“Yeah well, you seemed perfectly okay then. Now, I’m not so sure.” She pouted.
“I’m offended,” he said. “I’m in possession of all of my faculties.”
“Then how come you can go from saying we can’t work to saying you’re in love with me in all of 3 hours?”
He scowled. She was right but he didn’t like it. “I didn’t say I was in love with you. I just said I think we’re meant to be together.” No, wait, danger Will Robinson. This was not going well.
“That’s even worse,” she said, throwing up her arms. “Look, I don’t know what caused this change. I don’t know if it’s just because you’re depressed about your career and grabbing hold of the only thing you know, or if there is brain damage, or if you simply can’t tell the difference between love and sex.” She stood and pulled on her coat, gathering any spare things she’d brought around her. “But I’m out of here. It’s too confusing. Thanks for a wonderful morning, but…”
Before she could leave the room, he moved in front of the door, blocking her.
“Not so fast,” he said.
“Ryan,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Don’t make this harder on both of us. I’m trying to do the right thing here. For both of us.”
“How can it be right when you know we’d be good together?”
“You’re right,” she said, shrugging. “I always thought we’d be good together. But I was wrong. You were right. There’s attraction between us. Strong attraction. But don’t mistake it for something it’s not. People don’t change their minds like that.”
Shifters do, he wanted badly to say.
“Anyway, I’m going back down the mountain. I don’t think I’m in the mood for snowboarding today. I’m going to get some work done at home.”
He just stared at her, wondering when she had grown such a spine with him. When he had started to have so little effect. It felt like just yesterday he could snap his fingers and she’d be there. She was there even when he didn’t snap his fingers.
But that was before he was gone. Before he was injured. She thought he was damaged goods. Well, that was fair, because most of the world did. But didn’t she know him well enough to see that he was himself? Even if she didn’t know about the shifter stuff, couldn’t she see that he was the same person she knew and seemed to love before?
The roles were just reversed. Now he was the one in love and she was the one who couldn’t seem to believe it or make sense of it.
He ground his teeth and started to get changed so he could take her back down the mountain. He’d spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how to win back the woman he never should have lost in the first place.
She’d forget Taylor then.
Chapter 7
“Snowboarding lessons with Ryan?” Leslie let out a low whistle and jostled the ice in her decaf iced tea as they sat in one of the booths at the lodge bar. “I can’t even imagine.”
“I know,” Kylie said, eyeing her coffee as thoughts swirled in her head about the mysterious morning she’d had with the most beautiful man in the world. If only she could believe what he said, but she couldn’t. It just didn’t make sense.
“So, how’s that going, anyway?” Leslie’s dark eyes were knowing as they studied her, and Kylie found herself squirming slightly under that intense gaze.
“Fine,” she replied, feeling a blush work its way up into her cheeks.
Leslie set down her drink and leaned forward, a grin spreading her red lips as she rested her chin on her tented fingers. “Hm. So why are you turning beet red? Could it be Ryan is teaching you a little more than snowboarding up on that mountain?”
Kylie was saved from answering by the entrance of another woman, Janna, who looked harried and tired and was carrying a diaper bag in place of a purse. A stylish diaper bag, but still a reminder that only a couple of months ago, she and Leslie had given birth. Both had had boys. Adorable, dark haired boys with sweet curls.
It caused a slight ache in Kylie to spend time with them, because it reminded her just how much she did want a family and children.
“How’s Jace?” Kylie asked as Janna sat down.
“He’s in a mood. Poor Ryder looked a little lost when I left him, but it’ll be good for him to get used to taking the baby more often.” Janna sighed and eyed Leslie’s drink. “Decaf?”
“Yup,” Leslie said, holding up her cup to toast with a grin. “Join us?”
“Sure,” Janna said. “Sorry I’m late.” She brushed wispy, unruly curls back into the low bun she was wearing, but they just popped right back. “So what did I miss?”
Leslie grinned. “Ryan’s teaching Kylie a little more than just snowboarding up on the mountain.”
“Is not,” Kylie grumbled, not sure why she felt she had to hide it from her friends. After all, they’d gone through similar things with Ryan’s brothers. But they had
n’t been rejected for a year like she had.
“Ooh, look how red she is,” Leslie said, laughing.
“Am not,” she said grumpily, but she softened when she saw concern in Janna’s eyes. Janna always was the more sensitive one among them. “Okay, maybe a little red. I don’t know what’s even going on.”
“Do tell,” Leslie said, pushing her unsatisfying drink to the side so she could lean forward for the details. “Deets please.”
“Yes,” Janna agreed. “Deets.”
Kylie sighed and sat back in the booth. It felt odd to be the one people were asking about her love life. She’d always been the one on the sidelines, joking about stalking Ryan while grilling her friends, or watching them grill each other, about what was going on with their current men. Now they were married with a baby each and all the attention was on her.
It was a little uncomfortable. “Um…”
“Does he have some awesome tricks? A long…board?” Leslie wiggled her eyebrows and Kylie went beet red and then burst into laughter. How could she be so serious about this when it wasn’t any different than the way she’d teased them about their own sexual experiences.
“Let’s see,” she said, tapping her chin as Leslie and Janna leaned forward eagerly. “It’s definitely no half pipe. More like a super pipe.”
Leslie wrinkled her nose and Janna laughed. Okay, their double entendre game was a little weird with snowboarding terms.
“Should I keep going?” she asked.
Both nodded their heads vigorously.
Kylie laughed. “It’s not like you don’t have your own Hart brothers at home,” she said. “You know what it’s like.”
Janna shook her head. “Ryan’s different. There’s something about him. He’s just really…intense.”
“That he is,” Kylie said. “Let’s see. He prefers the score to be, um, tied up.”
Leslie’s eyes widened. “Bondage?”
Kylie blushed and looked away. “Maybe. Nothing hard-core. Let’s just say it was my um, first run, but I feel like his technique deserves a gold medal.”
Beary Sexy: A BBW Werebear Boxed Set Page 34