“Show me how you use it.”
She nodded and turned it on. It was much softer, much smaller than hers, and it fit easily into the palm of her hand. Like it was made to fit between two bodies. She blushed as she realized what it was for. Then she pressed it to herself and closed her eyes, trying to get into the same place she usually was when she did this.
He growled and pressed a hand over hers, and she opened her eyes and remembered that he was there. That she wasn’t alone.
Never again.
He took over for her and it felt completely different. The same vibration, but being able to look up into his adorable blue eyes, being able to see his powerful body crouched over her, it felt like the pressure rose in her exponentially faster.
She bit her lip and tried to hold it off, but he slipped a finger in as he moved the vibe over her. After already being sensitive from multiple orgasms, there was no way she could slow things down. Her release came again, in hard ripples that were stronger now that she was even more sensitive. It was like the speed of it, the unstoppable nature of it, made it that much more intense.
This time, instead of holding her, he let her twist her hands in the sheets, completely lost to the world, as he stripped off his shirt. Her mouth fell open at the sight of his cut, sexy muscles. His square, bulging pecs, his wide shoulders, his biceps that flexed as he got back on the bed with her. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled something out of the pocket before he pulled them all of the way off and tossed them to the side.
“Thank heavens,” she said. “Finally.”
He just grinned and then lowered his head to kiss her between her legs. A long kiss, deep and hard, his tongue dipping to stroke inside her. She moaned and gave him a look that said that although this felt good, it wasn’t exactly what she wanted, and he grinned and slid the condom on his hard length. Her mouth watered as she tried to recall the exact feel of him. It was amazing, that much she knew. Totally filling. Pleasure that was just on the edge of pain.
He readied himself at her entrance and she waited, legs tensed. Then he lifted her legs up around his waist and slid into her with one smooth stroke. As he settled deep inside, hip to hip, skin to skin, she looked up at him and wondered where he began and she ended. But she didn’t care. If she could be this close to him always, she’d be the happiest woman alive.
When they were joined like this, everything was right.
And then he started to move. He held her legs so that all she had to focus on was the pleasure filling her as he moved, the sensation of his length against the sensitive spot near the front of the inside of her body. Each time he stroked over it, lighting heat moved through her, a different kind of heat compared to being stimulated from the outside, but equally amazing.
She gasped and raised a hand to her mouth, needing to do something to deal with the intense emotion waving through her as he pleased her. She didn’t want to go, didn’t want this to end.
And then he reached for the vibe.
He flicked it on with a smooth motion and then slipped it between them. She hoped he was using water based lube, but then forgot to care as she felt a vibrating pulse over her sensitive clit combining with the deep pressure of him filling her.
It was officially too much. No one could hold on through that. She went after two more strokes, letting out a scream into the night, not caring who heard. She couldn’t believe what he’d just done, couldn’t believe the power of the contractions surging in and out of her body, couldn’t believe how good it felt to contract around him, and to look up into his eyes and swear she could see love there.
She wanted to reach for him, but he wasn’t done, so all she could do was hold on to anything she could grab and ride it out.
He started to move again, and this time she waved the vibe away. He looked at her questioningly.
“Just us,” she said, reaching a hand up to stroke his hair. “I just want to focus on us this time.”
He beamed with pride as he looked over her, and then leaned forward to kiss each of her breasts. He ran his hands down along her curves, worshipping her body with his touch and his eyes. “I do too. You’re so amazing, Kylie.”
“You aren’t bad yourself,” she said, wrapping her hands around his back and letting her legs relax as he began to move again. Each thrust brought them closer together. She could feel his breath, sense his heartbeat, scent the unique woodsy scent that was all him. It reminded her of pines covered in snow. Cold and spicy. As he moved, she could see the tension building in his face. Found it so hot as his arms began to tremble, as his abs clenched as he strove to keep going. When he looked down at her, nearly over the brink, she gave in to the pressure that’d been rising again ever since he’d started moving.
As she went over the edge for what felt like the millionth time, he joined her, and she made an effort to open her eyes despite the pleasure so she could watch him go. His handsome face darkened as he came, his expression contorted as he pumped deep inside her. When he raised his eyes to hers, they were lost in a haze of pleasure, almost like he was confused by how strong it was.
She was pleased to the core that she’d made him feel even a fraction of what he’d done to her.
He gasped as he fell over her, his body still trembling lightly. He was huge but somehow her body didn’t mind taking his weight.
“Each time with you is just such a shock,” he said. “It always feels like the first time. Like I have no idea what I’m doing. Like I’m desperate to please you so that you’ll let me do it again, but like I don’t feel worthy of you.”
“Oh shut up,” she said playfully, trying to catch her breath. “It’s not about being worthy. It’s just about what we want.”
“I want you,” he gasped out, kissing her lightly over her cheeks, her neck, her lips, and her forehead. He took her face gently in his hands and looked down at her with an intense gaze. “I want you.”
She raised up to press her forehead to his. Their breaths were synchronized, both hearts still racing from their release. “I want you too.”
“That’s all I need,” he said, resting against her. “That’s everything.”
She stroked his hair, wondering at the fact that he was really with her, and had to agree.
Chapter 13
This time she stayed awake in his arms, not wanting to sleep since last time that had caused drama. Should she explain the Taylor thing now?
Maybe not. She didn’t need him acting jealous and messing everything up. She’d explain when things calmed down. He got up to clean up and then came back to her in his boxers. She loved the feel of him spooning behind her and didn’t want to sleep anyway if it meant missing this awesome snuggling.
His body was large enough to wrap around her from all directions. She felt safe and warm and finally at home for the first time in her life. She could sort of understand how he had felt so different after their first time together. She’d been too absorbed in the physical side of it, too busy trying to figure out if it was really happening, to truly feel the connection between them.
But this time she had. It was in the way he touched her, loved her. It was as insistent and sweet as his presents, his sending of flowers. But much more private and personal, something for them and them alone.
He snuggled against her with a little sigh and she loved how adorable he could be despite his size. He wasn’t a larger than life snowboarder to her anymore. Now he was just hers. At least it seemed to be that way. They’d said it multiple times between them as they’d made love.
And she knew now that was exactly what they’d done. If you could tell how a man felt about you by the way he loved you, then Ryan was definitely into her. Intensely so. She stroked his arm lazily and just enjoyed the quiet sound of his breathing, the feel of his chest rising against her back.
“I’m ready to tell you my secrets,” he said. “If you’re ready to be mine.”
She nodded, a little thrill of anticipation moving through her. But she wasn’t afraid
. Whatever he had to tell her, it couldn’t be that big of a bomb. “I was always ready. Even when I was pissed at you, I never could think of anyone else.”
“That’s because you were meant for me,” he said in a growly voice. “Meant for my bear.”
She froze and went rigid. Did she seriously hear what she thought she just heard? “Your what?” she asked, trying to keep her voice neutral, trying not to show the panic she was starting to feel.
“My bear,” he said softly, keeping her tightly against him as if he was worried she’d run away. “I… I can turn into a bear. I’m a shape shifter.”
Her eyes went wide and she was glad he was at her back and couldn’t see her. “Oh. Right.”
“Do you have any questions?” he asked.
Her heart thumped in her chest. He wasn’t right in the head. She’d known it was too good to be true. Him being fully healed, him being suddenly in love with her. She believed that he wasn’t making up the bear story. She knew without a doubt that he felt what he was saying was true. There was a depressing amount of sincerity in his words. But it wasn’t possible, right? Which was more likely? That Ryan had some serious effects from a traumatic brain injury that should definitely have caused some issues, or that humans really could turn into bears and she’d just been unaware of it all these years?
Sadly, her heart knew which was more likely, as much as she wanted to believe the opposite. “Can you transform into a bear and show me?” she asked quietly, knowing he couldn’t, but wanting desperately for the opposite.
His voice was slightly pained. “I can’t. Not unless you agree to be my mate. If I show you and you refuse, then they would wipe your memory.”
“Who?” she asked, feeling a chill run through her at how deep his delusions went.
“The people who run bear society.”
She let him keep his arms around her and didn’t make any sudden moves. She could feel how tense he was. Feel him trembling slightly as he waited for her make up her mind. But what could she possibly say? She couldn’t possibly agree to a man who thought he was a bear. Plus, that would only lead to him doing an embarrassing attempt to shift into something that wasn’t possible.
She would save both of them the trouble. But right now, she just wanted to lay in his arms. She didn’t want to ruin the moment, even though now she wasn’t sure how injured he was in his mind. How much of what was between them was because of his accident and how much was real love.
She should have known it would end up too good to be true. No one changed their mind that instantly. Not after months of ignoring someone. She felt tears wet her cheeks and hoped he wasn’t looking. But when she couldn’t keep back a small sniffle, she saw him peek his head over to look down at her.
The stricken look on his handsome face nearly killed her. “What’s wrong?”
She swiped at her nose clumsily and pulled the blanket up over her. “I don’t know.” What should she say? She didn’t want to freak him out. Should she just tell his brothers tomorrow? They might be as unaware as she was that there were still some issues with his head. “It’s just a lot to take in.”
“I know,” he said, pulling her close to him. He felt so strong, so real, so there. Nothing made any sense. But how was she supposed to believe he was a bear when he wouldn’t even show her?
“Do you want me to show you?” he asked. “I can. You just have to promise you’ll accept me. I don’t trust the people who will get involved if you don’t.”
She shook her head. Her heart broke at what she would have to say, but she said it anyway. “No, don’t show me. I don’t think it’ll make a difference.”
His voice was low. “What do you mean?”
She sniffled. “I don’t think I can be with a bear.” She hesitated before the word bear. She hated having to resist him at a moment like this, after what they had just shared. Maybe when he didn’t believe he was a bear anymore, they could reexamine things. Her heart was still in shock at how things had changed.
“I really didn’t think you’d reject me,” he said scornfully, tugging his shirt on. “Don’t you believe me?”
She frowned. “I believe that you believe you.”
His expression darkened and he pulled away. “But you think I’m crazy.”
“No,” she said. “You hit your head. Hard. It makes sense that certain things would be wrong.”
He stood and started pulling on his clothing. She could tell she’d hurt him and she wanted to pull him back.
“I hate this,” he said. “I mean, I don’t blame you, but I have no way to show you unless you accept me. And you aren’t going to, are you?”
She just looked at him, searching her heart for the right thing to say. Apparently anything would have done, because the silence seemed to slay him.
“It’s fine,” he said, holding up a hand. “I get it. It’s all about the sex for you. Anything else is too complicated.” He started to put on his socks and shoes.
“Where are you going?” she asked, suddenly panicked that he was going to leave while he was still angry.
“I’m going for a walk,” he said. “Then I’m going back to my room. Then I’m going to spend the night trying to figure out how I’m going to cope now that the one woman I want doesn’t want me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want you,” she said. “That’s not it.”
“But you don’t believe me,” he said. “You don’t trust me when I say this has nothing to do with my head.”
She frowned. How could she answer that?
“It just proves that all this time, you were chasing me but you didn’t truly know me. As for the change in my feelings for you, it’s not as drastic as you think,” he said. “You made me feel so strongly that I run all the way to Australia.”
“That’s not exactly the kind of feeling I wanted to inspire,” she said.
He flinched. “Well, being rejected by you after giving you all of me wasn’t something I wanted to feel.”
“It’s not my fault you think you’re a bear,” she snapped out, sitting up and pulling the sheets around her protectively.
He took an angry step forward, jabbing a finger in her direction. “I don’t think I’m a bear, I am a bear. And I have no way to prove it to you because no matter what I’ve tried to do in the past week to show you how much I care, you still don’t trust me. I wouldn’t lie to you, Kylie. I couldn’t.” He patted his chest. “The bear inside me knew you were mine before I did. He’s smarter than me. He doesn’t want to let you go.”
Tears pricked her eyes but she let anger take them over. “He’ll have to,” she said. “Because I can’t be with a man who thinks he’s a bear.”
With that, he turned on his heel and walked out into the night, slamming the door behind him. Kylie fell against her sheets and sobbed. For once, she had no idea how to make things right. She wanted to go after him but there was nothing more she could say.
There was no way he was actually a bear.
* * *
Kylie rose early and checked to make sure Ryan wasn’t outside. She knew he wouldn’t be here to go snowboarding, but it had snowed heavily over the night and she was eager to go up and find some pow. She could get off the lift pretty well on her own, link turns, and get up when she fell. Ryan hadn’t said there was anything wrong with snowboarding alone, and she often saw solitary riders.
If there was ever a day for solitude and peace, this was it. She could hardly wait to get up into the mountains, clear her head, and let the cool air wipe away the stress of last night.
It had been half wonderful, half nightmare. Despite what he seemed to think, it had never been her wish to reject him. And it had never been about the sex, though that was wonderful. It wasn’t like she’d wanted to just keep things simple. Wanted to just be another fan girl trying to screw Ryan Hart.
No, what they had was so much more than that.
Up until the bear thing.
She got ready quickly and was pulling her gloves
on and heading for the lift when she looked up to see Ryan talking to the lift operator. He was facing away from her so she flashed her pass at the operator and skated to stand in the loading zone, waiting for the lift to pick her up. Just as the chair arrived and swept under her legs, picking her up, Ryan turned around to look at her, eyes wide.
He stepped forward, but the lift was already carrying her away. He looked angrily at the lift, like he meant to follow her, but he didn’t have his board on him, so he just moved out of the way and stared helplessly as she was lifted up and away from him.
She watched him for a moment, just standing there with folded arms, and wondered if he’d follow. Would he be paranoid that something could happen? He needn’t be. People did this alone all the time. And she couldn’t think if he was there. Definitely didn’t want him there today.
And she didn’t want to be with anyone else either, because she didn’t know whom she could tell without invading Ryan’s privacy.
She wondered if the bear thing really had happened because of the accident, or if he’d always just thought something like that. She should ask his brothers. But she hated the idea of going behind his back. She also hated the idea of walking away from him.
Was the bear thing really possible? The more she considered it, the more a part of her wanted to just believe it. Just believe and accept him and see what happened.
But she’d been too practical her entire life to give in to something like that. All she knew was that something had to give, and she didn’t know what.
When she reached the top of the lift, she looked down and didn’t see him on any of the chairs. A few other boarders or skiers, each solitary since it wasn’t likely many people had work off to ride in the middle of the week, but no Ryan.
Perhaps he really had written her off. Not that she wanted him to follow her. It was just a little odd that he hadn’t.
She got of the lift and did her new tactic of just crouching onto her knees immediately and scooting off the runway so that no one would have to worry about running her over. She scooted to the side of the hill and looked longingly over at the trail she and Ryan had often taken to the pow.
Beary Sexy: A BBW Werebear Boxed Set Page 40