by Carter Ashby
"It's all so perfect," Zoey said. "Or it will be when Addy gets her man."
"How is Dr. McDaniel, by the way?" Maya asked coyly.
Addy rolled her eyes. "Would you two get off of that? I'm not in love with Dr. McDaniel. I'm his teaching assistant, he's my advisor for my thesis, and besides, he's got a girlfriend."
"So many unethical possibilities," Zoey said, with a malicious laugh. At least her mind was off the packing.
"Come on," Maya said, reaching across the table and taking Addy's hand in hers. "You can't tell us you haven't at least fantasized about doing unethical things with the professor?"
Addy wished she could keep from blushing. "Dr. McDaniel cares way too much for his reputation to behave unethically toward me."
"Not what I asked," Maya said.
"That's right," said Zoey. "All we want is for you to confess, once and for all, that you have feelings for him. And then tell us exactly what those feelings are."
"God, you two are relentless." Addy drank the last of her wine and looked around for the server, who was already heading their way with the bottle. Once the glasses were refilled, Addy sighed heavily. "Of course I've had feelings for him. But more importantly, I believe I've become a friend to him, and I know he's become a friend to me, so I'm sure we're both beyond any romantic feelings at this point."
Zoey and Maya fell back in their chairs. "Bullshit," Zoey said.
"I can't believe you won't just be honest with us!" Maya reprimanded, truly indignant. "Our lives are open books to you, why won't you just tell us the truth?"
Addy clamped her teeth together, shocked to be forced to this point. Usually when they started hitting her up for information about Grey—Dr. McDaniel—Addy was able to shut them down before the conversation got too close. But Maya had just cut to the heart of the matter. Addy swallowed down a lump of unwanted emotion. "I don't tell you the truth because it's not comfortable for me," she said.
Zoey and Maya watched her in silence.
Addy drew herself up and sipped her wine. "I can't have him, so there's no sense hoping for it. Dwelling on my feelings only ends in pain."
"You won't be his student forever," Zoey said.
"Even when I'm not, Grey is not the kind of man to settle down. That's the main problem. I…as independent and career-minded as I am at the moment…eventually want to get married and have children. Grey and I have never talked specifically about these things, but he's made several comments that indicate he has no intentions of ever marrying or having children."
"That doesn't mean anything," Maya said. "He could easily change his mind."
"Not easily," Addy said. "Not Grey."
"Can I ask you something?" This, from Zoey, who'd suddenly gotten a furrow in her brow.
"Sure. Why the hell not?" Addy answered as she sipped some wine.
"When you graduated, you said you were going to get your degree and then travel. I remember some time in college you talked about joining the Peace Corps."
"That was because of Grey," Addy said. "He always gives the most inspirational lectures. My junior year I took his International Intervention class and the first week he talked to us about the Peace Corps. I swore to myself I'd go, it sounded so perfect for what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a part of something that made a difference. I wanted to give back."
"So Grey inspired you to go. And then he inspired you to stay?"
Addy looked away. This was her deep shame. "Well, I wanted my Master's degree," she said, which was true. She wanted a doctorate as well. She wanted a great many things.
"Be honest," Zoey said, "would you have gone if you hadn't fallen in love with him?"
Addy finished off her wine. "Know what? I think I'm done talking about this. Let's talk about Maya. When are you going to ask poor Jayce to move in with you?"
They both glared at her for a moment, then rolled their eyes. Maya said, "Fine. It's better than we've got so far. As for Jayce, I'll ask him when I'm ready. I just need to take things slowly. And we're trying to get the kids adjusted to having him around. He's trying to make a place for himself in their lives and he's doing such a good job."
"Well, I'm glad he'll go slow for you. But you're aware how hard it is for him, aren't you?"
"I'm aware," Maya said. "He hides it well most of the time, but sometimes I catch him out of the corner of my eye, staring at me a little too long, or looking a little too sad. He's afraid I'll change my mind. But I never will. He's the best man I've ever known."
"Do me a favor?"
"Sure," Maya said.
"Remind him. Frequently. He deserves that much."
At first, Maya appeared annoyed, but her expression softened. "I will. He's so tough on the outside, sometimes I forget to take care of his soft, squishy center."
Addy laughed. Maya had been the only person in their group oblivious to Jayce's gentler feelings. For the longest time, Addy had imagined marrying him herself. He wasn't really her type, but he was a good friend. They'd already promised to be each other's backup plans. Which sucked, because now she didn't have a backup plan.
"Is Grey the best man you've ever known?" Maya asked.
Addy dropped her head to the side and arched a brow. "Will you please drop this?"
"Is he?" Maya asked, grinning and all but giggling like a little girl.
"No," Addy answered, surprising herself with how quickly the word came out. "You two got the prizes. If Grey was so wonderful, he would let me go."
Her friends' smiles vanished. Addy realized she'd said something out loud that she'd never even voiced in her own thoughts. She also realized that her friends wouldn't let her get away with it. With a deep, painful breath, Addy shook her head. "Please don't make me talk anymore."
She felt Zoey's arm around her shoulder and Maya's hand on hers. Thankfully, they let the subject rest for the time being. But Addy couldn't help but remember all the ways that Grey had subtly kept her on a leash, over the years.
CHAPTER THREE
Spring break arrived, a week after helping Zoey move—or rather keeping Zoey occupied while Kellen and Jayce helped her move. Now Addy found herself with a weekend free of plans.
Spring break had meant little to Addy when she was an undergraduate and even less now as she worked through her Master's degree. She would still have work to do, mid-terms and essays to grade. Her parents wanted her to come spend some time with them. Even though St. Louis was less than an hour away, she still lived in the city and went home on weekends rarely.
It was hard to avoid the bigger breaks, though. Addy hated to hurt her parents' feelings, but she was just happier in her little one-bedroom apartment in the city where there were no rules or expectations but her own. Still, it would be nice to hang out with Zoey and Maya for a while. If she could separate them from their boyfriends.
Addy sat at her small desk in Dr. McDaniel's office organizing her files. She taught Political Science 101 for Grey—Dr. McDaniel. After talking about him to her friends, she'd gotten in the habit of thinking of him as Grey. She mentally berated herself and determined to get back in the habit of calling him Dr. McDaniel. She was prioritizing her work on her laptop so she could take it home with her when he walked in.
Addy glanced back and smiled. Though she tried not to be in the office with him when he was there, sometimes their schedules overlapped. He looked fantastic as always.
A raggedy professor, he kept his hair a little too long and his clothes a little outdated. His glasses came off sophisticated, rather than nerdy, but the way he shoved them up the bridge of his nose frequently softened his image. His face, though, was achingly beautiful. A strong nose and jaw, sharp angles and the perfect amount of stubble. A slim, fit body which she'd had the occasional privilege of seeing in gym clothes. When he went to the gym, he pulled his hair up in a stubby ponytail that was somehow adorable and sexy at the same time.
Addy just couldn't stand to look at him. It hurt too much.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Hart,"
he said.
"Good afternoon, Dr. McDaniel." She'd already turned back to her computer screen.
But then the door clicked shut. She jumped. Frowned. It was unlike him. Whenever they were together in the office, he always left the door open. He was very conscious of propriety. Just last year a well-known professor in the psychology department had been caught in a scandal involving two of his freshman students, a male and a female. Drugs had been involved. The publicity had seemed to never end.
Dr. McDaniel had more than his fair share of young, female admirers, but he was always extremely formal and distant, never wanting to invite scandal. Even a rumor could destroy his reputation, and maybe his career. The dean had been on a personal mission to eliminate all incidences of improper fraternization between teachers and students. Just the fact that Addy was the teaching assistant to a single, good-looking professor automatically put her and Dr. McDaniel on the dean's radar.
So for him to close the door seemed a major lapse in judgment. She shook it off, continuing the task at hand. She'd be leaving in a few minutes anyway.
"Got big spring break plans?" he asked
She laughed because it was funny. She didn't need to explain to him why it was funny, he already knew what a tame life she led.
When he didn't say anything else, she found her fingers hovering over her keyboard, waiting. But waiting for what? He was still there. Standing back by his desk, she suspected. What was he doing?
She turned. He was facing her, but not looking at her. He was frowning down at the floor and holding an envelope.
Her heart sped up. She began running through possible scenarios. Had she done something wrong? Had he done something wrong? Did that envelope contain bad news? Did somebody die? Get fired?
"Is everything alright?" she asked.
He looked up as though just realizing she was there. "What? Oh, yeah. Everything's fine." He leaned back against his desk, blinked, and looked away.
"Oh," she said. "Okay. Good." She hesitated and turned back to her laptop.
"I'm going on vacation," he said.
Um, okay. "Oh, cool," she said. "Taking the girlfriend?" She couldn't say the name of the woman Dr. McDaniel had been dating the past few months. She'd met her. Seen her around. She was gorgeous, mid-thirties like him, sophisticated and pretty much perfect in every way.
"No," he said.
Her fingers paused again. "Oh." She went back to typing up a work schedule for herself.
"I have this cabin out in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Nobody there knows me. It's quiet. Secluded."
She checked her email one last time to make sure she hadn't missed anything. "Sounds real pleasant."
"It is. I'm flying. In the morning."
She nodded, then shook her head at the amount of work she had to do. "Well I hope you have fun. I'll be doing all your work for you, it looks like."
She'd meant it as a joke, but he hadn't laughed. Huh. Weird.
"And you don't have to think about this now, or anything," she said, "but when you get back, I think you're going to have to meet with that Gwen Morris. Yesterday she gave me this lecture about how her father paid for her to take 'Dr. McDaniel's poly-sci 101 class…not Addison Hart's.' I'm sorry. I don't know what I did to piss her off, but she's got it out for me."
"I'm sure you'll handle it," he muttered.
"I can't, is what I'm saying. I mean, I don't know what she wants or believe me, I'd give it to her just to shut her up—"
"Addison?"
He rarely called her by her given name. It was usually Ms. Hart to him. She swallowed and turned, frowning up at him.
"Um. This is for you." He crossed the room and handed her the envelope.
She took it and stared at it.
"Like I said, I'm leaving in the morning. Have to be at the airport at nine to get through all the security. But…again, this place. Nobody knows me. Or you. It's…it's really nice. I just…I wanted you to have that…" He nodded toward the envelope. "Just in case."
Then he turned and just left.
Addy sat twisted in her chair, staring at the door he'd left open. What the hell? She opened the envelope. Inside was a round trip ticket to North Carolina. "Holy shit," she whispered.
"What the hell kind of a proposition is that?" Addy shrieked. She paced the floor of her apartment in her socks, sweatpants and t-shirt. Maya and Zoey sat on the sofa and watched her, their heads turning side-to-side like they were watching a tennis match. "He just hands me a plane ticket less than twenty-four hours before the flight. I mean, my God!"
"Okay," Zoey said, "but we're kind of burning daylight, right? Don't you need to pack?"
Addy froze and turned to face her friend. "You think I should go? You think I should just throw away three years' worth of good behavior on a whim?"
Her friends gawped at her.
The moment of panic suddenly drained, and Addy collapsed into an armchair.
"Addy, this is a one-time opportunity," Zoey said sternly. "Believe it or not, most women go their whole lives without their secret crushes dropping plane tickets into their laps. I mean, it's so suave and worldly."
"Worldly?" Addy laughed. "He was a nervous wreck. Didn't even make eye contact most of the time. But you do have a point. Grey dates a lot of rich, sophisticated women. He'll have expectations, if I do go."
Maya winced. "I hate to see you think like that, Addy. He liked you enough to invite you on a trip. He doesn't expect anything from you."
"From my personality, no. But in terms of looks and behavior, I'm sure he's acquired specific tastes. I only wish I knew what he liked."
"You need to do what makes you comfortable—" Maya started to say.
She was interrupted by Zoey who bounced forward. "Does this mean we're going lingerie shopping?"
Addy stared blankly at her.
A few minutes later, they were in Addy's Mercedes, driving to the mall. Zoey practically danced down the corridors to Victoria's Secret. Addy and Maya rolled their eyes at each other and tried to maintain a little more dignity. Of course, Maya lost all self-control the moment they walked in, and Addy was left to herself, trying to decide just how slutty to dress for the professor.
"Addy!" Zoey shouted from across the store.
Pressing her lips together, Addy thought how much she felt like a mother embarrassed by her children whenever she brought her two friends shopping.
Zoey was holding up a black, strappy bra and thong set of some sort. "You gotta get this!" she shouted.
Addy circumvented the rack of nighties in front of her and wound her way to Zoey. "Could you attempt to be a little more discreet?"
Zoey simply snorted. "Look at this." She held it up and demonstrated the way the straps would fit. "This is the kind of thing you put on under a fur coat and be all like, 'Hello, Professor.'" She lowered her voice in mock seduction, which made Addy laugh.
"I think she should wear this," Maya interrupted, holding a fur-trimmed, sheer chemise against her body. She turned to the side, stuck her ass out, and said, "I'm just an innocent little thing, Professor, won't you educate me in the worldly art of physical pleasure?"
Addy laughed even harder, her face turning bright red. "Stop it, both of you. Seriously, I'm just going to stick with black lace. You can't go wrong with black lace."
"Sure," Zoey replied, "but get something more adventurous, just for fun. Like this." She grabbed a lace baby doll with pink hearts that would just cover her nipples.
"God, no."
"Why not?"
"Because it's not me."
"Oh, that's crap. We both know this is totally you. There's a wild, slutty minx beneath that prudish exterior."
Maya, holding a black, cutout bustier said, in her mock-sweet voice, "Professor, you just bring out the animal in me."
"For God's sake," Addy berated. But she had to admit, they weren't wrong. She wanted to be naked in front of Grey. She wanted to seduce him with sexy lingerie. The thought excited her. Thrilled her in un
expected ways. So, with a sigh of frustration at knowing how much they were going to keep teasing her, she grabbed the bustier from Maya and the babydoll from Zoey.
In the end, they all left with something nice to wear for their men. Addy had far more than she needed for a one-week love affair, but the experience had been fun.
After that, they bought at-home waxing kits and went back to Addy's apartment. Once again, Addy found herself in foreign territory. She stood in her bedroom staring at the box while Zoey and Maya laid out towels and warmed up wax. "I just don't feel right doing this. I've never…groomed…in this manner," she said.
"You're gonna be glad you did," Zoey said, as she warmed the wax in a miniature crock pot on the dresser.
"Hold on," Maya said. "Addy, this is about you and your comfort. If you want to go au naturel, then that's fine."
"I just don't know what he expects."
Maya rolled her eyes. "Look, he doesn't have expectations. You'll show him who you are and as you two get to know each other, you'll learn each other's preferences. So…this is about how you want to prepare yourself."
Addy thought about it. Being her first time ever thinking about it, she wasn't sure how to say what she wanted to say. "I…I don't think I want to be completely bare," she said. "But I wouldn't mind sort of…touching up some areas…if that makes any sense."
"Perfect sense," Maya said and hugged her friend. "Here, let me hug you once more. Because after we go through this together, I don't think we're gonna be looking each other in the eyes for a while."
They wound up each choosing a private corner of the bedroom. After cleaning and prepping, they spread wax where they wanted, waited for it to dry, counted to three and ripped.
Screams followed by wicked cursing followed by laughter. And then they repeated the process.
"My vagina hates me so much right now," Zoey said, as they lay sprawled on Addy's bedroom floor.
"It's actually your vulva," Addy said.