by Carter Ashby
Addy had made one, slight miscalculation. She'd forgotten that Jayce, whose job didn't start until three o'clock, would be there with the kids. He'd built a sheet fort with them in the living room. Addy's chest tightened at the sight. Such wholesome fun for them, but she had a much less wholesome memory linked to a sheet fort.
Last week seemed like years ago. Grey had been a different person in that place. He'd touched her and taken her as though he owned her space. He'd been unapologetic and demanding. She'd been equally so. How had they managed to cut themselves off so easily? The love was still there, but except for one near-death kissing incident, they'd kept their hands to themselves.
"Hey, ladies," Jayce said, crawling out of the sheet fort.
Maya held her arms open to him, the paper bag from the drug store in one hand. She hugged and kissed him. "When did you get the kids back?"
"This morning. I took Kellen with me. Lois hates letting me have them back if he's not there."
"She'll get used to it."
Jayce stepped back and held her wrist up, with the paper bag dangling from her hand. "What's this? You sick?"
"No, it's nothing," she said.
His expression immediately went blank. He didn't like being put off. "You okay, babe?"
"I'm wonderful. Perfectly healthy. Just girl stuff."
His eyes narrowed slightly, and he turned his penetrating gaze to Zoey and Addy. Zoey lifted her chin defiantly. Addy looked around her, trying to find something of interest to change the subject with.
"Come on, girls," Maya said, and led them back to the master bedroom which had its own bathroom.
"Maya," Jayce called after her, "if that's a pregnancy test, I've got a right to know."
Maya froze and turned to face him. "It's a pregnancy test. But it's just to confirm that I'm not pregnant, okay? Nothing to get excited about."
His eyebrows were up, his eyes intent on her.
"Yeah," Zoey said. "I'm going to take one, too. It's fun. An adrenaline rush like Russian roulette or something."
Jayce didn't look convinced. "I need you to know I'll take care of you no matter what. I want this with you someday, and if that day is nine months from now, I'm ready. Okay?"
Maya sighed. "Jayce, I know. I trust you. I love you. But I just didn't want to tell you because I don't want you to be disappointed."
"You think I'd be disappointed to have a baby with you?"
"No, I think you'll be disappointed to find out I'm not pregnant."
He didn't say anything to this, since it was likely true. Maya turned and led them back to the bedroom, shutting the door behind them.
With shaking hands, she ripped open the package and stared at it. "God, I'm not ready for this."
"Knowing's better than not. I'll go first," Zoey said, grabbing a stick and taking it into the bathroom.
"She's crazy," Maya said.
"She's right, though," Addy said. "Just the thought of peeing on one of those things and waiting three minutes for the results makes my heart-rate skyrocket."
Maya handed one to her. Addy put her hands in the air. "No way," she said.
"Come on," Maya said. "Solidarity. Do it for me."
Addy gave her a look, but then sighed. "Okay. You got a marker or something, so we can label these with our initials?"
There was a small desk in the corner. Maya picked up a Sharpie and wrote an 'M' on the cap of her test. Addy wrote her initial on hers. Zoey came out, breezy as could be, like she hadn't just done something utterly terrifying.
"Go on, Maya," Addy said.
Maya took a breath and entered the bathroom. Zoey hopped on the bed and grabbed a magazine off the nightstand. "Not concerned at all, are you?" Addy asked.
"She'll be fine. Honestly, how much do you want to see Jayce as a daddy?"
Addy found herself smiling. "I do, but not at Maya's expense. She needs this time to find herself. We forget that Damon was only three months ago. She's still got a long ways to go."
Maya came out, looking pale. "Your turn," she said.
Addy rolled her eyes and went in. There were two, used pregnancy tests on the counter, side-by-side. By the time Addy finished, Zoey's would be ready to read. Addy wanted to sneak a peek, but she forced herself not to.
She peed on the stick, capped it, and sat it next to Maya's. After washing her hands, she opened the door. "Zoey, you're up."
Zoey hopped off the bed, leaned over her stick, and shrugged. "Negative. No bun in the oven. Maya?"
"I've still got a minute left on mine," Maya said. She was hovering on the far wall, as far as she could get from the bathroom.
"Poor baby," Addy said, going to her and taking her in her arms. "Come on." She slowly walked her over to the bathroom. "Don't forget to breathe, I don't want you passing out."
Maya finally made it to the bathroom and leaned over the sticks. Addy stood back and waited. Maya gasped and gripped the doorframe for support. "Oh, my God."
Addy exhaled. "Maya, you've got a good man who will love and support—"
"I'm not pregnant," Maya said. Then she turned and stared in horror at Addy.
"What is it?" Addy asked.
Zoey rushed past them both into the bathroom. Then she barked an incredulous laugh. "Oh, my God."
"What?" Addy shrieked. She shoved Zoey aside and stared in horror at the little pink plus sign on her stick. It was faint, but it was there. "No," Addy whispered. "No, that's not possible. Must be a faulty test."
"Do you have any idea how rare that is?" Zoey asked.
"You have to take another one," Maya said.
Addy was shaking her head. "No. No, I'm not pregnant. It's not possible. Besides, I'm five days from my period…it couldn't pick up the hormones that soon."
"Maybe that's why it's so faint," Zoey said.
"I'll send Jayce out for another test," Maya said.
Addy stared at the test, stunned into silence. She listened as Maya delivered the news to a definitely disappointed Jayce and then sent him to the drugstore for another test. Zoey went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water for Addy, who downed it not because she needed to get ready for another test, but because her throat was suddenly parched.
Fifteen minutes later, Jayce arrived. Addy was huddled on the bed between her friends. She took the test from Jayce, the moment utterly surreal. She went back into the bathroom to try again. This time she stayed in the bathroom with the door closed and watched the second hand on her watch tick by. After three minutes, she looked at the stick.
Positive.
She gripped the counter, dropped her head, and said, "Fuck." It took her a couple minutes to get herself composed, and then she went back out. Three faces turned to her. "Positive," she said.
She didn't realize her legs had given up until Jayce lunged toward her and caught her under her arms. He lifted her, carrying her to the bed. She was dizzy and nauseous, but it had nothing to do with the physical pregnancy. She simply couldn't wrap her mind around a reality in which she'd been knocked up during an illicit affair with her professor who didn't love her.
"God, why?" she groaned. "I do one bad thing. Why couldn't I get away with one bad thing?"
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Grey walked into Erika Richter's office with his head held as high as he could possibly manage it. He was dressed casually, in jeans and that t-shirt, because he'd lost track of time and hadn't had time to change.
"Well?" Erika asked.
Grey shrugged. "What do you want me to say? I kissed Addison on Tuesday. We'd lie about it, but because of the circumstances, more than one person heard her confess it. As to the rest, it's bullshit."
"Doesn't matter. It's out there. Your credibility is undermined. Now I have to allow Dr. Markham to investigate Addison's thesis to make sure no favoritism has occurred. You're off her thesis committee. You're officially no longer her advisor. God, I can't believe this." She closed her eyes and massaged her temples.
"How bad is it for her?"
/>
Erika threw up her hands. "You know how this is, Grey. It's not a legal issue, it's an ethics issue. If she's truly done the work herself, and the committee is convinced of that, then she'll receive her degree without a problem. Of course, the damage to her reputation is unavoidable. I know Addison fairly well, and I'm certain this is going to be very hard on her."
Grey knew it was. Addison was proud of her image, proud of her reputation. He only wished he could take this off of her. "Okay," he murmured. "How bad is this for me?"
"I think we need to shut this girl down. I have a meeting scheduled with her parents on Monday. We'll talk about the consequences of libel and see if we can resolve this as quietly as possible."
"My job?"
"It's ultimately up to the board. I don't see them letting you go as a result of the thing with Addison…I'm assuming she's perfectly complicit in whatever it is the two of you have going. Provided she assures me that she hasn't felt coerced in any way, I'm certainly not going to recommend having you fired over it. But again, there's the damage to your reputation. At this point, it's all about reassuring parents and alumni that Gwen's accusations are a hundred percent false. If we can regain their confidence, then you should be okay."
Grey nodded, but still felt disheartened. To have this on his record was humiliating. "Have you gotten in touch with Addison?"
"I've sent her an email. I hope to meet with her on Monday as well."
He sighed. "I intend to talk to her in person about this, today." He lifted his eyes to Erika's.
Erika narrowed her eyes. "Just be discreet."
"Of course."
"Grey?"
He'd been about to stand. "Hmm?"
"Off the record…what's going on between you two?"
A bitter laugh escaped his lips. "Off the record, huh? Does that exist in this situation?"
"Honestly, it's base curiosity on my part. Off the record. Just two friends talking."
He arched a skeptical brow, but figured it didn't really matter now. "I never so much as touched her hand until two weeks ago."
"What happened two weeks ago?"
"I bought two plane tickets to my summer cabin and gave her one. She joined me. We promised to end it after the week was out, but…"
"But that's easier said than done."
He nodded once. "That kiss on Tuesday, the one that nearly killed me, that was my only indiscretion this week. I swear, I've been a goddamn saint since I started teaching here. I make one selfish, impulsive decision, and shit rains down on me. And her. She doesn't deserve this. She's an angel. I'll never forgive myself for putting her through this."
"She's a big girl, Grey. She doesn't strike me as the type to blame anyone other than herself for her decisions."
"She's not. That's one of the amazing things about her."
Erika leaned back with a sigh. "Let this mess fizzle out and then date her. A post-grad student, living independently. As long as you avoid conflict of interest, there's nothing strictly against the rules about it."
"I don't really see it going anywhere. Attraction's about all we've got. We both want different things."
Erika shrugged. "I'm just saying that there's no need to deprive yourself because of your job. If she were an eighteen-year-old undergrad, this would be a different story altogether."
He thanked her for the counsel and left, heading straight for Addison's apartment. He knocked, but there was no answer. He turned around, leaned back against the wall next to the door, and pulled up her number on his phone. It went straight to voicemail.
"Addison, call me back," Grey said. "I need to see you."
He hung up and decided to wait. Maybe she'd just gone out to eat with her friends. He sat on the floor against the wall and checked Facebook. Addison's friend had posted a photo of her two kids and boyfriend playing in a sheet fort. Grey smiled as he remembered playing in a sheet fort with Addison.
He scrolled through and saw that Addison's mother had posted something on her wall.
Tried to call you. Please answer your phone.
Addison had responded:
Sorry, Mom. Will call you back soon.
But what Grey noticed was Addison's location. St. Claire. She'd taken her friends back home. He stood and jogged down the stairs out of the building to his parallel-parked car. He needed to see her. It felt weird using information from Facebook to track her down, but he needed to give her a heads-up about Gwen, and St. Claire was only forty minutes away. Twinges of desperation were clawing at his chest. If she were here, he was certain he wouldn't feel so upset about it. Addison always managed to calm him down.
He sped down the interstate and made it past the city limits of St. Claire before he realized he didn't know where her home was. Or if she'd even be there. He searched his memory. She'd spoken of the town so often, there had to be something useful in his memory.
Harley's. The bar she hung out at. She said it was called Harley's even though it belonged to her friend Jayce. It was a few minutes after three. Grey decided to see if the bar was open. He found it fairly easily since it was right on the corner of Main Street. He parked in the lot behind the bar and walked around to the front entrance.
There was music playing on the jukebox and a few tables with customers. An old guy sat at the counter. Jayce was behind the bar, wiping it down. He did a double take at Grey and grinned. "Professor!" he said in greeting.
Grey made his way to the bar. "Jayce, right?"
"Yes, sir. I almost didn't recognize you, dressed casual like that. What can I get you?"
"Uh, just information. I'm looking for Addison."
Jayce's friendly demeanor vanished. "She call you?"
"No. As a matter of fact, I've been trying to call her, but it keeps going straight to voicemail."
"Have a seat. I'll give Maya a call, see if I can get her over here for you."
"Thanks." Grey sat and looked around at the bar. Raw brick walls. Black leather furniture and low lighting. Through an archway was another room with a stage for a band and dance floor. A sign hung next to the archway promising live music from some local band tonight.
Jayce came back behind the bar. "Addy's at her mom's, apparently."
Grey stood and pulled out his phone. "Do you suppose I could have the address?"
"To her mom's? You don't want to do that, man."
"Yeah. I really do."
"Listen, I don't think she'd appreciate you showing up on her parent's doorstep like that. Her mom will definitely raise hell with the university if she finds out about you and Addy."
It suddenly struck him. "Addy," he muttered. "You call her Addy."
Jayce shrugged. "Everyone around here does."
"She likes it? She prefers it?"
"I assume so. At least, she's never complained."
Grey frowned down at the bar, wondering why she'd never mentioned it. "I need to see her today."
"Hang out here," Jayce said. "I guarantee you after a visit to her mom's, she'll be around for a drink. She's staying over at Maya's place tonight, too, so she'll turn up eventually."
Grey glanced at the door. He could just knock on her parent's door and let her know he was in town. Still, Jayce was right. It was a bad idea.
"Come on," Jayce said. "Let's shoot some pool before it gets too busy. Hey, Janice! Come man the bar, will ya?" A blond woman made her way to the bar with a smile. Jayce led the way to an empty pool table. Grey was glad his parents had kept a billiard table in the basement. The rules of the games were different, but at least he knew how to play. He chalked a cue while Jayce racked the balls.
They played eight-ball, but didn't bother keeping score. Jayce said, "Mind if I ask you something, Professor?"
Grey did mind, but he didn't want to say so. "Shoot."
"If you had a woman say she loved you and wanted to spend the rest of her life with you, then you proposed to that woman, and she said no…what would you think about that?"
"Well," Grey said, lining up a
shot. "First of all, I'd never propose. But for the sake of the hypothetical, I guess I'd assume she wasn't ready for the commitment."
"You wouldn't maybe question her love a little?"
"I happen to believe that love is a fluid concept. It ebbs and flows. Means different things to different people. So yes, I suppose I might question her love."
Jayce took his turn, calm, but frowning slightly.
Grey shook his head and tried not to smile. "If this is about Maya, from what I understand, she's newly divorced. I imagine you just need to continue communicating with her and back off of the commitment thing."
"Yeah," he said, cracking another striped ball into a corner pocket. "I'm just ready to commit. It's hard being there and her not being there."
"As a confirmed commitment-phobe, I can tell you with absolute truth that the worst thing you can do is push her."
Jayce scratched, cursed, and handed Grey the cue ball. "You know, Addy was my backup plan."
Grey looked up at him sharply. "What?"
Jayce suddenly wore a hint of a grin. "Back when I figured I'd never have Maya. Addy was my backup. We did the whole promise thing, if we weren't married by the time she was thirty, we'd marry each other. I always figured she and I would work pretty well together. We both want lots of kids. She's hot. I'm hot." He shrugged, like it was as simple as that.
Grey felt heat in his blood, but he didn't know why. "Do you think she's too hot for me?" The question just came out. He wasn't aware he'd even had it on his mind.
"Absolutely," Jayce said with a smirk.
Grey stood to his full height. "You know, I don't get it. She seems to attract these jock-types, but Addison is an intellectual woman. She needs someone who can keep her mind stimulated. I worry she'll fail to see that and marry some Neanderthal only to find herself severely bored and burdened with babies a few years down the road."
"So marry her yourself, if you think you're so right for her."
"I'm not right for her. I don't want what she wants. I just think she's wrong about what she wants."