Ben frowned, “Cam I am not rushing you into anything am I?”
Camille knew she had started this dinner off wrong because of her fears. She had to make it right. “Of course you haven’t Benjamin, it’s just, I have always been independent, with my dad being overseas. Now after just a few months, I find myself not just wanting you to confirm every decision I make, I feel like I need your approval.” Camille dropped her head and picked up her fork and starting digging into her salad avoiding Ben’s gaze.
“Camille, look at me.” Ben said sternly. Camille lifted her brown eyes up to his, with a look of an adorable little girl. “Camille when something is real, it does not take forever to know. I dated Lauren for seven years and could not commit to her. Did I love her? Yes, I always will. However, I knew deep down it was not the real thing, that would last for the rest of my life. In one night, as tragic as it was, I felt it with you.” He reached for hands and she quickly gave them. “Cam we can slow down if you want, because you have to feel this too. However, I don’t need any more proof, that you are my missing rib. Camille James, I am willing to wait seven years plus seven more, if that is what it takes for you to feel we are meant to be.” He kissed the inside palm of both her hands and began eating his food.
Camille set there stunned in her seat. She literally could not move; those words were felt in her soul. She only moved when Ben said “Cam, Sweetie, eat your dinner. We will move at your pace.”
Camille ate her food and thought to herself, “What a Man,” and although she was not ready to verbally admit it, she felt it too. She was Benjamin George Adams’, missing rib. They continued their meal, discussing current events and their best friends’ breakup. They both thought the breakup was for the best but they both knew Kevin and Paige were not done yet. They vowed to one another, to not let their friend’s mess of a relationship, filter into their blossoming love.
Later that evening, when Benjamin had returned home. He received a text message from Camille that said, “Goodnight Adam, from your Eve. I feel it too.” With that he screamed Thank you Jesus to the top of his lungs and did a Holy Dance in his home office. Then he settled down and texted back. “Goodnight, My Eve, I love you.”
Camille could not stop the tears as she read “Goodnight, My Eve, I love you.” She asked the Lord to give her the strength and wisdom to be what He wanted her to be and to show her how to be what Ben needed her to be. She then texted back a happy face and “sweet dreams.”
***
Earlier that Evening at Capriccios Restaurant
Dawn and Autumn had taken Nikki to some of the downtown toy shops to start their spoiling of her, right away. Therefore, it was only Shayla and Frankie left at the table drinking coffee, after their meal and dessert. Shayla began the conversation with, “Nikki is a beautiful little girl, very intelligent for the rough start her life had. But she is cut from your cloth and we will help her develop to be a young lady, as Dawn and Autumn are.”
Frankie could not believe his ears, “what rough start are you speaking of Shayla?” He asked with an attitude and raised eyebrows.
Shayla, smiled and said, “Don’t get upset. I just mean clearly her mother lacks judgment. You said yourself you were not notified about the pregnancy and birth of Nikki, because she did not know your complete government name.”
Frankie said firmly, “Shayla, I did not know hers either and between Nikki’s two parents, Karen is by far, the most fit. My little girl is smart and not lacking in any area, because of her mother. Karen may have made a mistake one night with me, but since then, she has been EVERY WOMAN to Nikki and herself.”
“Frankie please lower your voice, you barely know this girl. Yet you parade her in here, like she is some angel sent from above. Don’t forget who has been there for you. Me and our girls have been to hell and back with you; not Miss one-night stand.”
Frankie sighed, and said “there it is.”
“There what is?” Shayla said firmly.
“You are jealous.”
“What do I have to be jealous of Frankie? Tell me”
You, my dear Shayla, are jealous that I have found something with Karen. Yes, our first night together was less than ideal but we made someone beautiful together. For the first time in our lives, you had nothing to do with something wonderful for me and you can’t handle it.”
Shayla was shaken at his bluntness. Since being sober, Frankie had never had cross words with her. He always treated her with respect as his ex-wife and children’s mother. If ever he didn’t, it was because of drinking and/or drugs. But this Frankie, was stone sober and their relationship was ending right before her eyes. Pure hatred swelled in her chest for Karen and Nikki. How could he think of moving on? No she did not want to remarry him because of the Hell of his addiction but she was not going to marry anyone else. Since his recovery, they were better than ever, sharing everything, being there for the girls. A couple of times, they even made love and that did not change the nature of their new friendship. How could Frank move on with some tramp who got high and drunk and conceived a bastard child? Nikki was nothing more than a whining little crack head herself. No she would not allow it, nor would she continue to sit here and let Frankie treat her this way. She began gathering her things as she spoke, “Frankie, you go ahead and play family with this little girl. When you find yourself lost drunk and alone, just remember it was you, who chose this.” Shayla with her purse under her arm, stood and stormed out of the restaurant. She had ridden in with her daughters, so she called a car service and left alone.
Frankie was amazed that Shayla would not want him to find happiness. Surely, she did not think their friendship with occasional benefits was healthy. Frankie paid for the check and called Dawn to find out where they were with Nikki. He explained he and Shayla had words and told them he would drop by in a day or so to check on her. They were pleased with that and told him their mom just needed time.
Meanwhile, Nikki was elated to now have every Shopkin from season one and two and all the accessories. Uncle Ben had bought her some, but her big sisters finished the entire set. She could not have been happier. She jumped in her Daddy’s arm and said, “I love you and my sisters and my mommy. I am so happy.” That brought tears to Frankie’s and his two grown daughters’ eyes. They walked to their cars, arms linked together. Frankie could not be a prouder dad.
Frankie carried his sleeping baby girl up the stairs in one arm and her bags of toys in the other, while he climbed the stairs to Karen’s apartment. He was definitely winded, as he lifted the brass door knocker to alert Karen they were outside. Karen opened the door with a smile. Her beauty and smile took the rest of Frankie’s breath away.
She told him to follow her to put Nikki into her bed. Frankie did as she instructed. He could not get his brain to function enough to tell his mouth to say something, so he just followed like a puppy with his tongue hanging out. Upon entering Nikki’s bedroom, he was overwhelmed with pride. Karen had given their little girl a room for a princess. Everywhere there, was sugar and spice and everything nice. Her room had a beautiful pink canopy twin bed with a rail. Her walls were painted as a mural with the sun and clouds in the sky. She had a dry erase board mounted on her wall, where you could see Nikki’s drawings and her practicing her name in manuscript. There was a little grocery store set up, a kitchen, and play area, where all things were Shopkin. Finally, he could speak,
“Karen, you have our baby girl’s room so beautiful. Thank you for loving her, when I was not around.”
Karen blushed and waived him off, “Frankie would you stop bringing up that you haven’t been here, stuff. You are here now and that’s what matters.” Come on, let’s take her shoes and socks off, so she can finish her nap.”
Frankie did as he was instructed and after Nikki was tucked in, he kissed her forehead. He followed Karen out, after she turned on Nikki’s bed lamp and closed her door.
Sitting on Karen’s sofa, Frankie and she shared a glass of sweet tea and began the
much needed conversation. Frankie took the lead, “Karen, I want to apologize for Shayla’s behavior today. She was out of line and I told her as much.”
Karen was happy he addressed Shayla but was hoping it was not in front of their daughters. “When did you address Shayla? I hope not in front of the twins and Nikki.”
Frankie shook his head emphatically, “of course not, the twins had taken Nikki shopping and she should have all that Shopkins stuff now.” He and Karen both chuckled at that. “Anyhow, when they left, I asked Shayla what her problem was and can you believe she is jealous?” Karen looked at Frankie as if he had two heads. “Karen, why are you looking at me like that?”
“Frankie, surely you are not this clueless. Shayla is still in love with you. It was all over her face.”
“I was clueless until she started ranting about how she can’t believe I would move on.”
Karen took Frankie’s hand and looked him directly in the eyes.
“Frankie are you ready to move on, can you?” He gave her a look of love and admiration.
“Karen I can move on, if you are ready to take this step with me.” He said that as he caressed her hands that were now in his and leaned in watching her, to see if she would draw back. He did not have to watch long as Karen closed in the gap and they enjoyed their first kiss of passion without alcohol or drugs and it was one full of emotions and hope for a new beginning. Frankie was the first to pull away, “Karen, I like the way you just responded but I prefer you answer my question verbally.”
Karen swallowed and looked up at Frankie with her light brown eyes focused on his lips, then his eyes. “Yes Frankie, I would like to move on with you and see what we can become. You, me, and Nikki.”
Frankie then pounced onto Karen with an aggressive kiss. That led to so much passion, that again they were caught up in one another and moved to Karen’s bedroom to begin their relationship, with the act of making love.
***
ITS Transit Systems
Camille sipped her hot green tea as she listened to Karen, recap her romantic night with Frankie. Karen spoke about Frankie as if he was truly her knight in shining armor. While Camille was happy that Nikki had her father and Karen seemed to have found love, she was not happy about the way Karen consented to sex without validating where the relationship was leading to. In fact, Camille, wondered did Karen give any thought to their agreement to stay celibate until marriage. All of this went through her mind as Camille tried not to show any judgmental expressions. She certainly understood how abstaining could be difficult because she had several thoughts about Ben, in that manner. However, she resisted temptation by setting limitations with Ben’s agreement, on how far they could go physically. For starters, Benjamin does not enter her bedroom when he is visiting, nor do they sit in one another’s arm while watching television or movies. They had tried that once and the kissing and foreplay got out of hand, but they stopped themselves and made the pact not to go that route again. They pray every night together in person or over the phone. They have weekly bible study together at the kitchen table at one of their homes. The hardest thing for them to do, was to leave one another’s home by ten p.m. It was challenging to do that because they enjoyed each other’s company and time sped up when she was in his presence. Another great thing about their relationship was, they both were busy with their careers. Both Camille and Benjamin were normally exhausted by 9pm, after dinner and their evening walk. Obviously, Karen and Frankie did not intend to set any boundaries. So much for Karen keeping her temple holy, she thought.
“Camille, did you hear me?” Karen exclaimed with a look that said her patience with Camille was wearing thin.
Camille, replaying Karen’s last words quickly tried to remember the question Karen asked. “I heard you, and no Benjamin and I have not been intimate yet. We don’t plan to have sex unless we are married.” Camille raised an eyebrow at Karen. “I also recall you being on the altar with me at Liberty Fellowship, vowing abstinence until marriage, as well. Did you discuss that with Frankie, before you two fell in bed together?” Camille regretted sounding so motherly because Karen was in fact, a grown woman. It just seemed she did not attempt to resist fornication but just jumped in bed because Frankie told his ex-wife off and said he wanted to try with her. It was hard for Camille to believe he wasn’t only trying to make a move on Karen.
“Camille, you are not seriously trying to tell me I am wrong for making love with the father of my child.” Karen said this with attitude that was palatable. “If you are, I can promise I will not be sharing anything else with you. I am a grown woman and I love Frankie, you cannot tell me this is wrong.”
“Karen, I am not trying to tell you what you should or should not do or with whom you can do it with. However, I am asking you about the spiritual commitment you made to serve Christ and to avoid fornication. “We learned in bible study together, that we were cleansed from our sin by Jesus’s blood and we accepted him as our savior and the Holy Spirit as our comforter. I want to know did you give thought to that commitment that you made.”
“Camille, Frankie being the father of my child, is a sign from Jesus Christ himself, that he is who I need to be with. He is no longer the random dude, I had a one-night stand with, after getting drunk and high to deal with my pain and grief. Frankie made a commitment to me and Nikki that he will be there, like he has been, since he found out about her. If giving him sexual gratification is what he needs, then I will be giving it to him. I also learned in Bible study that we should not judge and that God sees our hearts. Clearly, you don’t practice everything taught in BIBLE. STUDY. NOW. DO. YOU. CAMILLE?” Karen was now beyond angry and her voice was elevated loud enough that Camille knew the employees could hear them. “I can’t believe I came in here thinking you would be happy for me, but no, Ms. Always Perfect and Right has something negative to say about poor Karen. Camille you were there for me when I found out I was pregnant and you did not judge me when I told you the circumstances of her conception. You just loved me and helped me. Now because I had passion with a man that could very well be my future husband, you stand there holier than thou, judging me. Well guess what Camille, let’s see how long Ben stays around while you play Ms. Chasity Belt.” Karen did not give Camille a chance to utter a word before she got up, said she had a meeting to get to and slammed Camille’s office door behind her.
Camille set their amazed but before she could gather her thoughts and process what had occurred with Karen. The receptionist buzzed in that Mr. R.D. James was is the lobby waiting to see her. Camille elated, told her to send him in.
“Hey Daddy, what a pleasant surprise.” Camille said while rising to her feet to hug her dad.
“Hey Camille, how is daddy’s girl feeling?”
“Daddy I am well, back at work and everything.” Camille said that as she rolled her eyes. She would forever be the twelve-year-old, to her dad. She went behind her desk to sit, as R.D took a seat flanking her desk. “So what brings you by daddy?”
R.D. cleared his throat and played with the cufflinks on his dress shirt. This was so unlike him, Camille thought, he normally looked eye to eye, when in conversation. Never had she seen him behave in this manner. “Daddy,” she called out, to get him to look at her. “Tell me what’s been bothering you, besides my accident.” R.D. looked up at his girl and said, “It is Karen. I believe I am her father.”
Camille pushed back from her desk and walked around to sit next to her in the matching chair, net to her father. “Daddy, what are you talking about?” Camille said this with a cracking voice, surely she had misheard him.
“I need you to tell me if her mother’s name is Cynthia Locke.” Camille gasped and put her hand across her mouth. Could this day get any worse?
“Yes daddy it is. How did you meet her?”
R.D. looked at his baby girl filled with guilt and said “It’s best I keep that to myself.” Bam, that was her answer. Yes this day could get worse. She had just pissed off one of her best frie
nds and that best friend could be her half-sister. “Wow!” Was all Camille could say or think for the moment.
Chapter 4:
Confessions, Obsessions, and Progressions
“Let me make sure I have this correct daddy.” Camille gave R.D. a puzzled look. “You are coming to me, asking Karen’s mother’s name and telling me she may be your daughter?”
“Yes,” R.D. said firmly.
Camille waited for more but that wait was in vain. She saw that she was going to have to drag each detail out of him for herself. “Daddy, you have to give me more than this. Karen, is one of my best friends and not to mention my Executive Business Assistant. I am her daughter’s god mother, Nikki calls me Tee-Tee, now by the little you have shared. I may be that… literally! Daddy you are going to have to come better than this!” Camille was losing her temper and knew she could not disrespect her father but if he did not start sharing. She was going to lose it.
“Camille calm down, you don’t need to get worked up, okay.” R.D. knew he was being sketchy with his delivery but he simply did not know how to explain. But by the look on his baby’s girl face, he was going to have to explain. He took Camille’s hands and said, “Camille remember when your mom was sick when you were young?” Camille nodded her head yes. “Well I did the best I could by taking care of her and loving her until she succumbed to the breast cancer. When I lost Rachel, baby girl, I was so lost. When Grammy stayed with us for a year after Rachel’s death, I had a fling with someone.” It was making since to Camille now, she was seven years old when her mom died, at thirty-two, she had very few memories of her mom but she knew that her parents were in love. She believed she knew where this conversation was headed but decided to remain silent and let her dad tell his story. “Camille, I was so hurt and lonely, I started hanging out at a friend’s bar and this beautiful woman was singing, Diana Ross and the Supremes’ song, Love Is Here and Now You’re Gone.” R.D. looked down at the floor and shook his head, as if trying to fight back all the demons of despair and grief. “Cynthia, sang that song with such passion. Although, Rachel had died and not simply walked away, it was true – I was that song. I had all this love with no one to give it to and no one to return it.” Camille reached out and took her daddy’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. R.D. smiled and returned the squeeze. “After Cynthia’s set, we talked and shared drinks. To make a long story short, many nights after Grammy and I would put you down, I met with Cynthia. She was a free spirit. I later learned she was a cocaine addict. She probably developed the habit from the club scene. I tried to help her but she did not want out of that life. She was only a temporary replacement for a void I have had since Rachel left this earth. After one look at Karen, I knew, she is the spitting image of Cynthia. Cynthia had some features that were similar to Rachel and that was another draw I had to her. However, I was not interested in bringing a junkie around my little girl, so I just let her go. Camille have you seen Cynthia?”
All I'll Ever Ask (The Greatest Love Book 1) Page 6