by Sandy Huth
Rachel saw the look on his face and, although she was reluctant to let go of her son, she gave him a small push towards the eighteen year old girl. He took a step towards her then suddenly she was running and caught up in his arms. Rachel felt tears prickling at the corner of her eyes and she turned away from the intimate scene. All a mother ever wanted was for her children to be happy and safe. Despite all of her reservations, she knew that this was the person who was going to provide that for David.
She turned her attention to Matthew who was being attacked by his siblings. He gave Rachel and Peter a rueful look. “If I could make it past these monsters, I would hug you.”
The younger children parted to allow Matthew’s parents access and he hugged them both at the same time. “You look so much like your father,” Rachel said. “You look just like him the day I met him.”
“I saw his grave,” Matthew said surprisingly. “I was in France and my sergeant let me hitch a ride to Moustiers-Sainte-Marie.”
Rachel gazed into Matthew’s eyes. “Was it all right? I mean, were you all right?”
“I’m good,” he assured her. “It was the closure I needed.”
“Did they bury Martine next to him?”
“Yes.”
“I’m glad.” She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “I am so glad to see you. Thank God you’re safe and you’re home.”
Matthew looked around. “I don’t see Uncle Bert.”
Peter nodded. “He’s in California waiting for Rose’s ship to arrive.”
“Any word on Alan?”
“No. They should be releasing the prisoners of war, though, so we should hear something soon.”
Matthew nodded, some of the light in his eyes dimmed. “Can we go home now?” he asked, suddenly weary.
They gathered the entire family, including David and Lorraine who couldn’t seem to let go of each other, and headed home. The next few months were spent in quiet family time. Bert and Rose arrived home, as well, although without news about Alan. When David wasn’t with Lorraine, he spent time with his father and Rachel knew that it was therapeutic for him to speak with someone who had experienced some of the same horrors. Matthew seemed to be anxious to move on with his life and asked Rachel for permission to take all of his siblings to Boston to visit Theo’s family. He hadn’t seen his grandparents for years and now felt the need to reach out to them. Lorraine wanted to go as well and meet the grandparents she had never seen but hesitated to leave David.
“Go,” David ordered quietly. “It would mean so much to your grandparents to see all of you.”
“I wish you would come, too.”
“I’m a little burned out on travel,” David said, only half-teasing. “I’ll be here when you get home.”
She went, leaving David the chance to spend many quiet hours sleeping and healing emotionally. Rachel found him one morning sitting in the barn on a bale of hay, eyes closed, leaning against a stall post. “Hey,” she said quietly, not wanting to disturb him.
His eyes opened and he smiled a little. “Do you know how much I missed this place?”
“Probably as much as we missed you.” She sat next to him on the hay bale. “Was it very horrible?”
His smile dimmed and he nodded. “I could have never imagined it, Mom. It was like living in hell.” He sighed deeply. “There was a point when I had decided that if I lived, I wasn’t coming home.”
“Ever?”
“Ever,” he said with a nod. “I felt ruined inside and I didn’t want to poison all of you.”
“David,” Rachel said with pity, “we will always want you with us, no matter what.”
“I know. Dad told me that he had felt the same way when he was in the war. He said he was afraid to come home and see everyone’s disappointment when they realized he had changed.”
“He had changed. He was more introspective and it seemed harder to make him smile. The day he came home, though, was the happiest day of my life, until you and your brother stepped off that train.”
“Matthew is going to be fine. He handled it so well, so much better than me.”
“I don’t think there’s a script of how you are supposed to handle a war. Matthew has always been different than you. He sees the world in a different way.”
“He’s like Theo.”
“He is,” Rachel said carefully, “just…better.” She felt immediately contrite. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s O.K., Mom. You don’t have to always protect us. Theo was a terrible husband.”
“Not terrible,” Rachel corrected him. “He just had needs that I couldn’t fulfill.”
“I’m glad you and Dad got back together. I thought a lot about you two while I was gone. That’s when I decided that I wanted the same thing you guys have. So I sent Lorraine that letter.” He stole a sideways look at his mother. “I haven’t talked to you about it. Are you all right with us?”
“Of course I am.”
“The night before we met Lorraine and the boys in New York, you asked me to promise you that I wouldn’t fall in love with her. How did you know?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because I had met her mother and suspected that she would be as strong and appealing as Martine had been.” She laid her hand on David’s. “The situation just reminded me so much of mine, when I was orphaned and came here. I went through some pretty rough years before your father and I eventually found happiness together and I couldn’t stand the thought of you going through the same type of pain.”
“There’s no pain with I’m with Lorraine,” he said quietly. “Only peace. She’s like a balm for my soul.”
“The two of you are not your father and me. I realized that. I couldn’t be happier for both of you.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes until she said, “Want to ride?”
“Sure,” he answered, standing and holding his hand back to help her stand.
“Rachel?”
They both looked over to the doorway of the stable and Peter stood there, looking pale and breathless. Rachel felt fear pierce her heart.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, stepping forward. “The children…?”
“No, no,” he assured her. “They’re fine. Bert got a telegram.”
“Shit,” David muttered. “Shit.” He dropped back to the bale and buried his head in his hands.
“Alan’s alive,” Peter said surprisingly. “He’s alive.”
Rachel lifted her hands to her mouth and began laughing and crying at the same time. David jumped up, looking a little like his old self as a grin broke out over his face. “Where is he?”
“In California. Bert and Rose are packing right now. He’s in the hospital, so they’re going to go out and bring him home when he’s ready.”
“Is he hurt?” Rachel asked.
“He was injured,” Peter said carefully.
“Tortured, you mean,” David said, his joy turning to bitterness quickly. “What did they do to him?”
“There are some serious injuries to his neck I believe. There weren’t many details.”
“I’m going with them,” David announced. “Alan is going to need someone who’s been there.”
Rachel looked at him in surprise. “David, are you sure? I thought you didn’t want to travel right now.”
“I think that’s great idea,” Peter said. “Bert and Rose could use the support.”
Bert didn’t even try to dissuade David. He only paused in his packing for a moment then nodded briefly. “Thanks, Dave. I’d appreciate it.”
Rose, standing in the doorway, was wordless, but threw herself in her cousin’s arms. Rachel was proud of her son and knowing the exact right thing to say and do. They left that evening, promising to call as soon as they arrived and saw Alan.
Standing in the front hallway, Rachel turned into Peter’s arms. They were alone but before very long, the entire family would be back together
for the first time in years.
Chapter 32
It was quiet with everyone away. After the stress of the past four years, Rachel found that she enjoyed being alone with Peter and having no other responsibilities besides work. Peter had turned fifty this year but to her eyes he was more handsome than he had ever been. She felt herself falling in love with him all over again.
“It’s like being on a honeymoon,” she said over breakfast one morning. “We can pretend that we’re a newly married couple with our whole lives in front of us.”
“Well then,” he retorted, “I think we are not having nearly enough lovemaking time.”
“I don’t remember any complaints last night,” she shot back with a smile.
“Touché,” he said with a chuckle. “God, I love you, woman.”
She felt a warm glow wash over her and she sighed happily. “Let’s both call in sick and go horseback riding.”
His eyebrows shot up. “I am shocked. I have never known you to want to skip work. I must have been really, really good last night.”
“You were. Now, are you with me? Are we going to play hooky?”
He pretended to be torn but Rachel knew she wouldn’t have to convince him. They called their respective offices then dressed in riding clothes, packing a lunch, and informing Smythe that they would be gone all day. They rode for hours, laughing and talking, and enjoying the fall weather. When the sun was high in the sky, they lounged under a tree and ate their lunch, Peter lying with his head in her lap. His eyes were closed.
“I’m glad we did this,” Rachel said, stroking his hair, which was now more gray than black.
“I never dreamed I would ever be this happy,” he told her, growing unusually emotional. “You saved me, Rachel Warner.”
“Saved you from what?”
“From settling for a mediocre life.” He opened his eyes. “You know, I was happy once, when I was a child and still living with my grandparents. The day that Norris and Helen came and tore me away from them, I decided that I would never be happy again. If I was happy, then I could be devastated again.”
“That’s why you married Blanche.”
“Yes.” His mouth curved up in a smile. “She was awful, wasn’t she?”
“The worst wife ever,” Rachel agreed. “You always deserved better than her.”
“It took you to prove that to me. In case I’ve never said it before, thank you. Thank you for convincing me to live the life I should be living.”
She leaned down and kissed him repeatedly while saying, “You..are..welcome.”
“You know, I don’t know if I have ever told you this, but I admire you so much. Those first days after you came to live with us, you were so vulnerable and scared, and I thought that there was no way you could survive in our harsh world. Not only did you survive, you fought back. Every year, every knock down, I saw you get stronger and stronger. You told the world to fuck off and became the strongest woman I have ever known.”
She felt emotional, her throat tightening. “That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”
“It’s the truth. Despite all of the hard times, I’m so grateful for all the experiences we’ve had together. I wish we could have had another baby. It would have been nice to be there with you from the beginning.”
“Well, I’m forty-two. I’m not saying that it’s impossible, but I would assume that if it had been possible, we would have already welcomed a baby.” She had seen the doctor a few times and he couldn’t explain their lack of conception. “I think the seven children we have take up most of our attention, anyway. Before you know, we’ll be playing with our grandkids.”
“That will be the happiest day ever,” he said, stroking his finger down the line of her cheek.
“Remember when we were in France, getting ready to meet Martine, and you said that when it was all over, and we were back home, we needed to find our happiest day again?”
He nodded. “Then we married, and that became our happiest day.”
“You’re wrong,” she corrected him. “Every day has been our happiest day. Every day that I got to be your wife was better than the day before. So, when we hold our grandchildren in our arms, it will just be a continuation. We have a whole lifetime of happiest days waiting for us.”
His eyes grew serious. “Promise me something, Spider.”
“Anything.”
“Promise me if anything were to happen to me, that you’ll keep on searching for those happy days. Don’t let it be the end.”
It was as if a dark cloud moved over the sun. Rachel swallowed hard. “How morbid. Why would you say something like that?”
“I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want to know that you’ll always be happy, no matter what.”
“I’ll be happy no matter what as long as you’re with me. Do you plan on going anywhere?”
The serious look left his face and he grinned, looking like a teenager again. “Only if you’re going with me.”
“Well then, we’re on the same page.” She gave his cheek a mock slap. “Let’s go, lazybones.”
The rode the rest of the afternoon until the sun started to dim. “We’d better head home,” he told her, turning his horse.
“It’s getting a bit chilly,” she agreed. “I hope there is an amazing supper waiting for us.”
He turned and looked over his shoulder at her. “Race you!” he said, as he had been saying for over thirty years.
“No fair!” she called when he took off without waiting for her and she laughed gleefully. Fifty or not, that man was still a cheat.
Home was in sight when it happened. She saw Apache stumble and heard a loud crack, and then Peter go flying over the horse’s head, landing with a sickening thump. She reared back, halting her own horse, dismounted, and raced to where Peter lay motionless on the ground.
“Oh my God, oh my God,” she chanted, falling to her knees. “Peter, can you hear me? Peter?”
He groaned and rolled his head side to side. She laid her fingers on his neck and felt a strong steady pulse. Laying her ear next to his mouth, she could hear him breathing.
“Peter,” she said again sharply. “Open your eyes. Can you hear me? Open your eyes.”
He struggled to open them and winced. “Damn it,” he hissed. “What happened?”
“Apache fell and you went over his head.”
His eyes opened further. “Is he all right?”
She turned and looked over her shoulder, feeling guilty that she had run right past the injured horse. Apache lay on his side, barely moving. She looked back at Peter. “I don’t know, Peter. It doesn’t look good.” When Peter tried to sit up, she pushed against his shoulder. “Don’t move! I’ll go get help from the stables. Promise me you won’t move.”
He nodded and closed his eyes again. “Hurry.”
She ran to the stables and called for help. Gaffney, the stable master, appeared immediately and, after hearing Rachel’s quickly relayed story, grabbed his rifle. “Come on, then,” he said gruffly. He called over his shoulder to one of the stable hands, “Call Dr. Miller for Mr. MacGregor.”
They ran the short two hundred yards to where Peter and the horse lay. Gaffney knelt next to Peter first. “Anything broken, Mac?”
“I’m fine. Take care of Apache.”
Gaffney moved over to the horse and did a quick assessment of the thoroughbred. He was slow to come back, his shoulders hunched. “Sorry, not much to do besides put him out of his misery.”
A tremor ran through Peter. “Do it,” he ordered. “Be quick about it.”
Rachel bent to hold her husband in her arms while his horse was euthanized. She felt his body jerk when the shot was fired and she murmured against his cheek, “I’m sorry, darling.”
Gaffney came back then, laying the gun on the ground. “Let’s get you to the house. Do you think you can walk?”
“I know I can walk,” Peter retorted.
They helped him stand and he weaved a lit
tle, holding his head. “Christ Almighty,” he muttered. “I’m going to have one hell of a headache.”
“If that’s the worst that happens, then we’ll accept it,” Rachel said firmly, supporting him with an arm around his waist.
“Easy for you to say.”
They got him to the house and laid him on the sofa in the living room. “I’ll stay with you, ma’am, until the doctor gets here. I know a little first aid if need be.”
“Thank you, Gaffney.” She felt shaky and weak now that they had him home. “Jesus, Peter, you scared the hell out of me!” She sank down on the floor next to where he laid.
“Scared the hell out of myself. I saw my whole life flash in front of my eyes while I was flying through the air.” He opened his eyes again and winked at her. “Damned if you weren’t in every scene.”
“Stop trying to be a flirt. Now is really not the time.”
“Gaffney, just a few hours ago, this woman was telling me how I made every one of her days happy. Now listen to her. Typical fickle woman.”
Gaffney laughed appreciatively. “I think he’s going to be just fine, ma’am.”
Dr. Miller concurred after he arrived. “You’re going to have one hell of a goose egg for a while,” he said, palpating the side of Peter’s head, above the ear. “No blood, though.”
Peter winced. “Are you trying to draw blood, Doc? That hurts.”
“I’m sure it does. Do you hurt anywhere else?”
“No, but I’m sure tomorrow will be a different story.”
Dr. Miller nodded ruefully. “I’m afraid so. You’re not a kid anymore, Peter. Stop racing horses in the dark.”
“I’m like a kid in love,” he clarified. “It makes me do goofy things.”
Rachel rolled her eyes. “Is he really O.K., Doctor?”
“Seems to be. I would like you to bring him into the hospital tomorrow, though. I’d like to take some x-rays, make sure we’re not dealing with any small fractures.”