“Get away from me right now, Miriam! I’m not asking again! This has nothing to do with you, so stay the fuck out of it––”
“Hey.” Dex’s face turned bright red, even as he held up a hand to Black, his voice shaking with a low anger. “You can’t talk to her that way, Mr. Black. I mean it. You have no fucking idea what she’s been going through these past few weeks...”
Black turned on him, his gold eyes flashing under the street lights.
But I’d seen enough.
I couldn’t read him right then, or even feel his light very well, but I could feel and hear enough to have a glimmer of what was going on with him. Stepping out from behind the door, I left it open, walking directly towards him.
“Kiko... Dex... keep away from him. I mean it. Don’t get too close.” I gritted my teeth, but my voice came out firm, almost my clinical voice. “He’s not in his right mind right now. We have to get him out of here.”
“Miri... stay away from me! I mean it!”
“I’m not going to stay away from you.” I snapped. “You need to get in the fucking car! Now, Black! We’re not discussing this here! This isn’t the time... or the place!”
When he backed away from me, I stopped walking. When I glared at him, he glared back, his chest heaving slightly through the red T-shirt he wore, his pupils dilated so that his irises were nearly black. Now that I could see him up close, I saw muscles rippling on his arms despite the fact that he’d dropped weight. He looked like he’d been working out obsessively.
“You’re not firing Kiko,” I said. “You’re not firing Dex. You love them, and they did every single thing right while you were gone. You’re getting in the car with me... now. And all four of us are getting the fuck out of here. Do you hear me?”
Both Kiko and Dex had backed away from both of us by then.
I saw Dex looking between us, his face still red, most of it from anger, but now a lot of confusion too, maybe partly from what I’d said. Kiko was looking between us with an alarmed expression, like she was worried Black’s mind had snapped.
“Get in the car!” I said again, pointing at the open door. “Now!”
That time, something in my words seemed to reach him.
He looked me over, and that relief I’d seen on him when he first realized I was alive came back in a disjointed rush, even as the shock I’d felt coming off his light hit me in another wave. This time, I was positive I recognized the feeling, at least the basics of it. Something like this had happened with us before. When we’d first slept together, he’d flipped out on me like this once, only that time, it had been in the middle of a restaurant. That time, too, he’d been yelling nonsensical shit at me, that fear and shock coming off him in erratic waves.
Seeing that lost expression coming to his eyes now, I softened my voice.
“Get in the car, Quentin,” I told him. “Please. Please. Just get in the car, honey.”
That time, he looked away. I saw his throat move in a swallow, right before he nodded.
He didn’t look at Kiko or Dex, or even me. He walked past me instead, crossing the asphalt without looking back. I watched him until he climbed into the back of the limousine. He left the door open for me once he had.
Exhaling, realizing my own pulse had gone through the roof in the middle of our shouting match, I turned to Kiko and Dex.
“You’d better take us to a different airport,” I said. Swallowing, I went on, a faint apology in my voice. “One further away than New Orleans, I mean. And maybe blast some music up front with the windows open while we drive. I don’t think we can wait on dealing with this until we get back to California, so I need to talk to him now. Before we get on a plane.”
Dex frowned, his expression confused as he returned my gaze, but Kiko seemed to understand what I was saying. Squeezing my arm, she gave me a sympathetic look, glancing over her shoulder at the limo.
All she said was, “How long do you need?”
I SLID INTO the back seat of the car, giving Kiko a last smile as she closed the door behind me. I watched as the window rose between the front and back seats, followed by the opaque divider that cut us off from them totally. I smiled involuntarily when someone up front cranked up the radio, blasting what sounded like the Beastie Boys.
Only then did I look at Black.
He was leaning into the corner by the opposite door, as far away from me as he could get without leaving the car. His hands were planted on the leather seat on either side of him. When he wouldn’t return my gaze, I found myself staring at the collar.
“Brick told me I could get that off,” I said. “Do you know how?”
Black swiveled his head from where he’d been looking out the window. He stared at me, his gold eyes glowing faintly in the streetlights.
“‘Brick’?” His voice grew cold with sarcasm. “Did your buddy Brick tell you that, Miriam? How incredibly fucking fascinating.”
I frowned, but I didn’t bother to answer.
Sliding towards him on the seat, I ignored it when he raised his hands, warding me off. I leaned against him once I was close enough, biting my tongue at my reaction to the proximity with him, even as I tried to get a look at the collar. He fought me every step of the way. He moved out of my way, avoiding my hands, not touching me more than he absolutely had to, but managing to block me at every turn.
When I tried to get behind him, he shifted his back, keeping his hands in front of him. When he pushed me gently away a second time, I turned my frown on him.
“Do you want to keep wearing it?” I snapped. “Is that it?”
“Don’t take it off me right now, Miriam.”
“Why the fuck not?”
He looked up at me. When he did, the anger drained out of me completely. Seeing the expression on his face, my throat tightened, enough that I couldn’t breathe.
“I don’t want to hurt you, goddamn it.” His eyes grew bright, even as his voice roughened. “Do you understand me, Miriam? I don’t want to hurt you.”
Taking a breath, I softened my voice. “You’re not going to hurt me. You’re not. So tell me how to open it.”
He sat there, not looking at me.
Now that I was so close, I felt the pain on him, too. Even with the collar, it was almost more than I could stand. It was bad enough that the echo effect from my own pain was making it hard to breathe. I felt him struggling with having me so near to him too, but I could also feel him fighting to control himself.
“I’m really hungry,” he said, wiping his face with the heel of his hand.
“We’ll stop for food,” I said, soft.
“I’m not talking about food, Miri,” he growled, looking at me. Gritting his teeth, he shook his head. “Although I want that, too.”
There was a silence, then he looked away.
“I’m really fucking hungry...” he said. “If you take it off me, it’s going to get a lot worse.” He met my gaze again. “Miri. There’s a lot you don’t know still about seers and sex. There’s a lot you don’t know about me... I tried to tell you that.”
I nodded, rubbing his chest with my hand. I did it without thinking, but I saw pain harden his features when I did, right before he winced outright, almost like he’d been shocked.
“Is that the collar?” I said, my voice colder.
He nodded, still not looking at me.
“How do I take it off, Black?”
He sighed, leaning his head against the door. “Gaos, Miriam. You’re trying to fucking kill me right now.”
“No, I’m not. I’m trying to help you. Do you really want to wear that damned thing for even a second longer?”
I saw him think about my words. Then I felt him conceding what I’d said. He exhaled, gripping my arm with one hand. Then he exhaled again. After another pause, he sat up, still avoiding me with his eyes. Before I could ask him again, he turned his back to me, leaning his head forward to expose that part of the collar.
“There should be a switch there... at
the base of my neck.” His voice came out low, almost gruff. “That should open the panel. He said your ring finger. Left hand.”
“Cute,” I muttered.
“Guy was a goddamned prick.”
“I know.”
When Black craned his head, looking at me, I shrugged.
“You were right,” I said, calm. “I met him. Briefly. But not in a sit-down, like you said. We broke into a vampire’s house, looking for you, and he was there, waiting for us.”
I felt Black wanting to ask, but he clenched his jaw. I also felt another wave of anger off him, that one directed at Dex and Kiko. In the end, he didn’t say anything about either thing. Turning away again, he stared straight ahead, not speaking.
I was already leaning against his back to peer at the collar, running my fingers over it, trying to find the switch he’d mentioned.
After feeling over the area at the base of his neck twice, I finally found a tiny lever. I had to use my fingernail to slide it sideways, but once I had, a small panel opened.
A flat piece of illuminated glass stood there, pulsing with red light.
Carefully, I placed my left ring finger on it, pressing it flat, like I was leaving a fingerprint mark. The red light scanned over my finger in a bright line... then clicked off.
I watched, both disgusted and fascinated as the ends separated to the right of the panel. The oddly stone-like green metal reconfigured as I watched, two prongs coming out of the back of Black’s neck like metal worms. They melted back into the ring of the collar and then the whole thing went inert. The red light switched off.
Gripping the collar in both hands, I pried it open all the way, pulling it off his neck.
Once I had it free of him, I threw it on the floor with a grimace. A large part of me wanted to throw it out the window, but I knew I couldn’t do that, for a lot of reasons.
When I turned back to look at Black, two marks bled at the base of his neck, like teeth marks. That’s when I noticed those weren’t the only marks on him.
“Jesus, Black.” I traced another set of what looked like teeth marks on his shoulder, feeling my throat close. They were fresh, less than a day old. Tears came to my eyes. “What the hell did they do to you?”
He didn’t answer.
I felt him struggling though, and realized that his light was coming back. It didn’t happen all at once, like I’d expected, which is maybe why it threw me. I could feel him faintly... then less faintly... then all of a sudden, it wasn’t faint at all. His heat and presence flooded into me like a dense cloud, cutting my breath.
I clung to him once it had, wrapping my arms around him.
I didn’t think... my brain pretty much shut off as his light flared out around me in another liquid wave. Then he was turning around, and he had me pinned to the seat, his hands wrapping around my legs, gripping my thighs as they curled around his waist. Then he had his hands all over me, pulling on me roughly before they clenched on my waist and rear, yanking me hard up against him. He let out a heavy sound when my own hands slid under his shirt, then he was pressing against me harder, fingers fisted in my hair.
His voice came out so deep I jumped.
“I won’t be able to pull it back,” he said in that heavy voice.
My pain flared hotter. I shivered just from that voice and his eyes. I watched his eyes close where he hung over me, his face tightening as I gripped his back.
“You might have to use your hand, Miri... or let me fuck you in the ass... but I might hurt you that way, too...” Embarrassment flushed his light. “Goddamn it. I don’t even trust myself with your mouth right now...”
I felt him imagining it, even as he pressed up against me, harder, letting out another thick sound from his chest. He had his other hand inside my clothes then... then his fingers were inside me and I cried out, arching up against him.
The combination sent another hard jolt of pain through both of us, bad enough that I couldn’t answer him. His light was smothering me now, crashing into me from all sides, even as he took his fingers out of me long enough to grab my hand, putting it on his cock. Aggression came off him in a heated wave as soon as I had, so intensely I closed my eyes, feeling my own light slide out of control.
I let out a broken cry, gripping him harder.
“Black... please...” I didn’t know what I wanted to say to him. Pain exploded over me as I realized he was really here. I’d been so focused on him, on getting that collar off him, some part of me hadn’t caught up to that simple fact.
The pain grew worse, excruciating, as his light pulled on mine.
He had his whole weight on me then, pinning me to the seat, his arms wrapped around me as he thrust his lower body against my hand. When he lowered his weight, groaning, he leaned his face by mine, gasping into my ear.
Fuck me... gaos Miri... please...
I didn’t think about it before I did it.
I bit him... sinking my teeth into his shoulder.
He let out a broken groan.
It startled me, the sheer volume of sound coming out of his chest––it was loud enough and pained enough that it vibrated my whole body. I felt so much behind it, for a moment I got lost there, lost in his light.
Then he was jerking violently against me, his light invading mine as he opened. He groaned again, and I felt myself lose control; I cried out, gasping, watching his face grow soft where he hung over me. I wrapped most of my body around him when I felt that light in him turn submissive. Feeling the surrender there, I realized he was coming and held him tighter, fighting the urge to bite him again.
“Don’t,” he groaned. “Don’t, goddamn it...”
I felt shame coming off him in a dark cloud, an almost debilitating self-loathing. The feeling overwhelmed me, growing so strong I found myself gripping him roughly in my hands.
“Black!” Panic filled my voice. “What is it? What’s wrong with you?”
He shook his head, but he wouldn’t look at me.
I gripped his hair, forcing his eyes on me. “Black! Baby, no... no. I’m sorry.” Tears came to my eyes. “I’m so sorry I did that. I’m so sorry... I wasn’t thinking...”
I felt that shame on him worsen, then he shook his head, clenching his jaw as he avoided my gaze. He started to climb off me then, and it hit me we were both still wearing most of our clothes. I caught hold of his shirt, then his arm as he tried to pull away.
“Black!” When he still wouldn’t look at me, I softened my voice. “Quentin. Quentin, please... I’m sorry. Please. I’m so sorry...”
Pain coiled out of him, so strong it actually hurt me that time. Gasping, I gripped his arms tighter, trying to pull him down towards me. When he wouldn’t really let me, I sat up, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He still avoided my eyes, but I felt him trying to let me in, to relax.
Still not looking at me, he shook his head again.
“It’s not your fault, Miri.” He gave me a bare glance when I raised my head, and again I felt a coil of that shame. “I’m not mad at you. But we should talk. There are things we should talk about...”
“I know––” I began.
“No,” he cut in, looking at me. “You don’t. I mean now, Miri. There are things we need to talk about right now. They can’t wait. We need to talk before we do this...”
I caressed his face, trying gently to get him to turn, to look at me. I left him alone when he wouldn’t. I tried to decide if I should let go of him altogether, leave him alone for real, but his light was pulling on me so much, it was hard to make myself want to do it. I couldn’t decide which part of him to listen to, so I ended up listening to both... and neither.
“Okay,” I said, still watching his face. “We can talk about whatever you want. But we don’t have to do it now, Black... not if you don’t want to. We don’t have to do any of this now.”
He shook his head, closing his eyes. “Yes, we do.”
Fighting the panic that still wanted to take over my light,
I stroked his neck. “Didn’t you tell me that seers are better off not talking until they’ve shared light?” I said, softer. “You said that a lot of talking just puts up walls, that we’re better off sharing light first, then talking after... when we’re both a little more sane. We don’t have to have sex. Maybe I can just sit here with you for awhile... we can get you food, and I’ll just sit here. Okay?”
He looked over at that.
I saw him think about my words, then that harder shame returned to his eyes.
“Normally that’s true,” he said, his voice cold. “...With the light. But I don’t want to just sit here with you, Miri. I want to fuck. I want to get into your light in a real way... so badly I can’t even think straight right now.” He swiveled his eyes towards me again. “But you might feel things on me if we do. We’ve never had to talk about this before... but seers. They’re different with sex. We need to have that talk now.”
I studied his face, fighting to feel what he meant, but he still wasn’t really letting me in.
Swallowing, I struggled to make my voice light.
“Well, no shit seers are weird about sex,” I said, forcing a smile. “I kind of figured that out when we first did this...”
“That’s not what I mean.” He turned, looking at me, that colder expression still in his eyes. “We can feel it when the other person is with someone else, Miriam. Not just while it’s happening... after. It leaves imprints on our light... and on the light of the affected body parts. It’s why there are such strict cultural norms about agreements and fidelity in the seer world. It can be upsetting, for obvious reasons. At times, it can also be really damned explicit. I don’t want you to get hit with that out of nowhere...”
I stared at him, having trouble making sense of his words.
He’d said them so calmly, so utterly matter-of-fact, I was positive I must have heard him incorrectly. I looked down at his body, then back up at his face.
“What are you saying?” I said.
His eyes grew angry. “What the fuck do you think I’m saying, Miriam?”
Pain flared in my chest. Then tears came to my eyes. They came so suddenly I couldn’t even think about stopping them, much less hiding them from him.
Black And Blue (Quentin Black Mystery #5) Page 31