by Skyla Madi
Calista walked by the empty kitchen and living room. She took a quick peek in the bathroom and saved the bedroom for last. “Time to get up.” She’d automatically assumed that she might be napping, but apparently, she wasn’t home. “Hm,” Callie blew some hair out of her eye and checked the time on her cell before she texted Mel.
Calista: She’s not home. I’m going to stick around for a bit until she gets here.
Melody: K, keep us posted. We’ll meet up same time as planned. I got the booze, Dee has the junk food covered. We’re golden.
An hour passed by in a blur, then two, and it was getting dark out. No matter how many times she tried to call Harlow, there was no answer, and she was beginning to worry. This was so unlike her.
Callie called Mel first, and she picked up on the second ring.
“Hey, have you heard from her? I’ve got nothing, and I’m starting to worry.”
“I wish,” Melody said. “Hang tight. I’ll call Dee and see if she’s heard anything. We were supposed to meet up in a few anyway and head over to Harlow’s for girl’s night. It’s probably a long shot, but you never know. If that doesn’t pan out, I’ll call in the guys, see if we can figure out a plan to find her.”
“Thanks, Mel. I’ll stay here, let you know if anything changes, and try to think of places she might be. Call me back soon as you can.”
***
Melody
“Dee, we have a situation. Calista can’t get a hold of Harlow. She’s not home and not answering her cell. It’s getting dark, and this is not our girl’s norm. Calista’s getting worried, which is getting me worked up too.”
“Whoa,” Dee said. “First off, take a deep breath. I’m leaving now. Meet you at her place with Calista. You want to call the guys for some help with this, or should I?”
“The more people looking, the better. I’ll call Carson. You try Rebel,” Mel replied. “Then I’ll get a hold of Toby. He’s an ass, and I’m still upset, but I know he cares, and he’ll want in on this.”
“Got it. See you shortly.”
“Right.” Mel hung up and raced to get her jacket. She was just locking up her door when she got a hold of Carson.
“Hello, you’ve reached Carson Tyler. Best brother, God’s gift to women, and number one tattooist. How can I help you?”
“Yeah, right.” Mel snorted. “Are you available?”
Carson chuckled. “Oh, how you wound me, baby sister.”
“You’re only older by three minutes. Now listen up, chucklehead, I’m going to need you and the rest of the guys to meet us at Harlow’s place. Dee’s calling Rebel now. I’ll have to call Toby when I’m done with you. Calista went over to her place this afternoon to talk her into a girl’s night, only she wasn’t home, and that was hours ago. We still can’t find her. It’s getting dark. It’s cold out, and there’s no answer on her phone.”
“Okay, hold on a minute. I’m with Rebel and Toby right now at his place, and it looks like he’s filling Toby in—”
“Mel, what the fuck? Is she okay? Tell me she’s good.” Toby sounded panicked. “I’m putting my shoes on right now.” The phone shuffled, and she could hear him talk to her brother. “Lock up and meet me there. I’m taking the bike. It’s faster.”
“I’m calling because I don’t know, Tob. Calm down and meet us in one piece. Calista’s thinking of places she might be, in the meantime, then we’ll go search if she isn’t home yet. Capiche?” Mel slammed her car door shut and started the engine. “See you in a few, yeah?”
“Fuck, Mel, I’m going out of my mind.” Toby cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he said before he hung up. And, right then and there, Mel knew there was hope yet for the troubled couple. But first, they needed to find the missing piece.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Dear Harlow:
How do you make it up to someone after you’ve made a stupid mistake?
I met this amazing woman, but as soon as she told me she loved me, I freaked out and ended our relationship. I let those words scare me off and took the coward’s way out. I wasn’t ready to face how much I loved her in return.
~Sincerely, Once Burned~
*
Dear Once Burned:
That makes me wonder what made you finally decide you were ready to admit you love her back?
Sounds to me like you need to communicate with a few people. The woman you love, for one. Talk to her, explain why you were scared, and it probably wouldn’t hurt to give her a grand gesture to prove you won’t pull that stunt again.
I know what it’s like to be in this situation. It hurts something fierce, but if she loves you like you claim she does, I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.
Now, the next person you should think about talking to is a trained professional. There are clearly underlying issues that made you freak out, to begin with, and you need to work through that. This way, you can have a healthy relationship going forward.
Feel free to email me and I’d be happy to give you a list of resources.
Best of luck,
Harlow
***
Toby
“What the hell is he doing here?”
Calista’s accusing tone was the first thing he was greeted with as he entered Harlow’s apartment, and it made him growl. He was already out of his mind with worry knowing Harlow was out there somewhere, and everyone else seemed to be panicking right along with him. Toby didn’t need this shit, too.
Mel walked in behind him seconds later and clapped him on the shoulder. “The more people looking, the better. Right, Calista?” She eyed his woman’s best friend and continued to speak. “And he’s here because he loves her. He was just too idiotic to figure it out sooner. Don’t you, Tob?”
He nodded. “I always knew. I just didn’t think I deserved her. Felt guilty, too.” He fisted his hands at his sides and faced the woman currently glaring at him. “I want to fix this rift I put between us. I’ve been working on it for days now, and I’m almost there. I will make this up to Harlow. I swear to every person here, I won’t stop till I make it right, and I vow that if I’m lucky enough to get her back, I will move heaven and earth to make her happy. Please tell me you figured out where she might be?”
“Cut him some slack, will you?” Rebel cleared his throat as they walked in. “He’s telling you the truth. He asked for our help to pull it off.” He pointed toward Carson and back to himself.
Calista eyed Toby the entire time Rebel spoke, as if she was trying to judge his sincerity. Carson moved to put his arm around her, and she seemed to finally relax. “Now can you put the man out of his misery and answer the question?” he asked.
Calista nodded as she looked at the faces around her. Diamond, Melody, Rebel, Carson, and Toby all impatiently waited for her to spill. “I called Twin City earlier, and she didn’t drop anything off at the magazine. Said they hadn’t seen her at all in a few days, but that’s normal. Harlow works her own hours. As long as she makes their deadlines, they don’t care much. There are only a few other places I can think of. The coffee shop down the street, Dark Java’s. She loves the place. She could be at Lakewood Cemetery, where her daughter is buried, or she could also be wandering Lyndale Park. They’re open till midnight, I think. She goes there to unwind and admire the butterflies, hummingbirds, and gardens. Says it’s peaceful.”
“Okay, I think we should split up. It’ll go much quicker,” Dee said. “Carson and Rebel can check out Dark Java’s. Carson’s been there before. Callie and Toby, you should team up and check out Lakewood. See if she went to visit her daughter. Mel, you and me will go to Lyndale together and then meet back up here. First couple of people to find Harlow texts everyone else to let ‘em know.”
“That’s a good idea and all, but someone should probably stay here in case she comes back,” Carson replied. “Dee, why don’t you stay behind? Mel can come with me to the coffee shop, Reb can go check out the park, and Calista and Toby will still go to the grave. Check it out.”
“Let’s roll.” Toby strode to the door and held it wide for everyone to get going. They had a plan now, and the sooner they went out looking, the better he’d feel. He wanted to quit wasting time.
In their haste to get out of the building, they almost knocked over the person they were set to look for. Carson barreled into Harlow, and she almost fell onto her butt. Thankfully, Rebel caught her before any damage was done. Toby stood there frozen to the spot to check her out, make sure she was okay indeed.
“What are you all doing here?” Harlow looked confused, worn out, and vulnerable. He fucking hated that. Before anyone could respond, his body moved into action without much thought. She was just feet away, and he couldn’t help himself. He had to feel her.
“Scared the shit out of me.” He pressed his body against hers, cradled the sides of her face as gently as he could, and took her mouth, hungrily and possessively. These last days without her had been torture. After he’d drunk himself stupid the day he confronted her and then his staff, he’d read Harlow’s letter to Mel and realized his mistake. This woman in his arms was amazing, his second chance, and for some reason, she wanted him too. Kissing her was as easy as breathing. They just clicked, and it became instinctual. Harlow didn’t see it coming, but she reciprocated and gave as good as he did. So there was that.
“Okay, Casanova, enough with the lip lock. I want some answers.” Calista crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently when Toby pulled back.
Harlow looked dazed now, and his heart swelled.
“Huh?” Harlow shook her head as if to clear cobwebs. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I also don’t know why you’re all here or why Toby is kissing me again suddenly?” She turned to him, and he winced when she glared.
“You haven’t talked to any of us in days, so Calista came over because enough is enough already. We planned a girl’s night, but when you didn’t show and wouldn’t answer your phone, we called the guys to help us look for you. Don’t ever do that to us again.” Mel wagged a finger at her and abruptly turned to go back inside the building.
“Where were you, anyway?” Toby was curious.
“I-I needed some air, and I hadn’t left the apartment in days, so I went to see Lily. I’ve been meaning to, anyway.” She sighed. “Also, my phone died the other day when I was avoiding everyone, and I never bothered to recharge it. It’s in my room.”
They all climbed the stairs to a waiting Dee, leaning against the apartment’s doorframe. “I could hear your voices carry and thought I’d check it out. There’s our girl.” She winked as Harlow walked past.
“I appreciate your concern, but if you don’t mind, I’m kind of tired. Rain check on the girl jam for tonight, okay?” Harlow looked him right in the eye then, and he could see she was still hurting.
Fuck!
“You’re all free to go now. Toby…” She gulped and lowered her head, no longer making eye contact. “As you can see, I’ll be fine. I’m sorry that you were inconvenienced tonight. I’ll make sure no one bothers you again where I’m concerned.”
“Well, that’s too bad because I’m not having it.” Harlow let out a surprised gasp when he threw her over his shoulder and marched them both toward her bedroom for some privacy. “I have some things I need you to hear before you go kicking me out.”
Harlow must have been too shocked to protest because she hadn’t put up any resistance to follow along. Toby turned to the rest of their entourage and addressed them. “We’ll need a few minutes of privacy, so make yourselves comfortable. Shouldn’t be too long.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Harlow
She watched as her friends all gave them a thumbs up and headed to her living room. Toby entered her room, kicked the door shut, and gently sat her on the bed. He stood in front of her. “Listen, Toby. I’m so emotionally drained right now, I don’t have it in me to fight with you. At least not tonight. What do you want?”
She crossed her arms and turned her head to look away, focusing instead on one of Lily’s photos on her nightstand. Her heart felt as if it had an open wound, and looking at Toby made it ache.
“Christ,” Toby cursed. “I’m such an idiot.”
Harlow gave him a curt nod. Although she could understand that he was probably trying to protect himself the other day, it was a misguided attempt. He was a fool for the way he treated her. Fool or not, she loved him. Didn’t mean she was going to make this easy on him.
“I deserve that.” He sighed, and the bed dipped when he sat beside her. She tensed when he reached for her hand, and she felt so vulnerable. He’d nearly crushed her spirit when he walked out, and now this. She was so confused, hurt, and angry. Was he toying with her? Since visiting with her daughter, her emotions were all over the place.
“Could you look at me, please?” he asked. He cupped the side of her face and gently moved her head so she’d look at him. “That a girl. Much better now.”
Harlow closed her eyes. She needed a minute to gather her thoughts, then she opened them again. “When did you get the new tattoo?” Toby lowered his hand and looked at his wrist. She’d noticed the sunflower now inked there and was curious.
“Look familiar?” Toby gave her a sad smile and touched the flower now etched onto his skin.
“Should it?” she asked, examining it more closely.
“Yeah, because it’s yours.” Toby cleared his throat. “I kept your drawing the night I taught you to draw the flower. You seemed so proud of it that it became special to me. Got it framed and put it on my mantle.” He shrugged. “Would you believe me if I told you I knew I made a mistake almost the minute I walked out your door? I’m a jackass, Harlow, but I was just so angry after I found that letter. Trust doesn’t come easily for me, and I’m messed up. I fucked up, period, especially with you. Mel fessed to writing it and going to you. I know now that it was kept personal. Should have took your word for it the first time, but I was scared. You terrified me because you made me feel things I had only felt for one other woman. It made me wonder if I was betraying her for being with you. I became happy again, and I didn’t feel like I deserved it. After I read your response to Mel, I got drunk, cried, and passed out. The next day, I gave myself your sunflower as a reminder of you always. Like it or not, you’re a part of me, Harlow, and I don’t want to let you go.”
Toby choked up on the last words, and she gulped as she tried to stop her own tears from flowing. She’d cried enough in the last week to last her a lifetime. “What’s the plan now? You hurt me, Toby. I told you I love you and you crushed me. Incinerated my heart and walked out. How do I know that won’t happen again? Especially when you can’t even say it back. I can’t compete with a ghost.”
“You don’t have to.” Toby got onto his knees and crawled in front of her. He grasped her two hands in his as if he was afraid she’d run away and pleaded, “I do love you, Harlow, but I don’t expect you to believe me right now. I plan to prove it to you, and I’m not giving up, so I’m begging you not to give up on me just yet. I get that I have issues, and I’ve set up an appointment to deal with them. I meet with Dr. Hartley the day after tomorrow for the first time. My physician recommended him. Told me he was a good shrink to talk to. I would love for you to come with me to a session, at some point, if you want to.”
“Oh, Toby.” Harlow blew out a big breath she’d been holding and smiled through watery eyes. “I’m happy for you. Dr. Hartley has established a great reputation. I’m proud of you for taking that step. It hurts me to say this because of my deep feelings for you, but I need some time to figure things out. I need to know that you’re with me for me, one hundred percent.” She cried, and her shoulders shook as she ripped her hands away from his and brought them up to hide her face. Her heart beat faster when she felt his arms embrace her, and she savored that moment while she could. “I just need time.”
“I can give you that,” he said. Harlow looked up when she heard Toby’s sniffle. He wiped his eyes on his sleev
e to dry them. “But I’ve given you enough words tonight. Now it’s time for actions. As God is my witness, by the time I’m done wooing you back to me, you will have no doubt that you’re it. My second chance, and my forever.”
Toby leaned over to kiss her on the forehead, lingering there before he placed one last peck on top of her head. He opened the door and looked back. “Take all of the time you need, but I’ll be in touch, Harlow. I love you.” The last part was on a whisper as he shut the door, and she found herself all alone again, listening to murmurs in the other room.
She flopped back on the bed and curled into a ball. Her apartment became silent, and she figured everyone was gone.
Calista knocked softly before announcing herself. She climbed onto the bed and spooned herself around Harlow from behind. Harlow appreciated the support. It’d been a long day, but tomorrow was a new one and a new start. Her fingers were crossed that Toby meant what he’d said, but only time would tell.
Chapter Thirty
Dear Harlow:
My boyfriend’s ex just moved back to Minneapolis after working abroad for a couple years. In fact, the reason they broke up was because they couldn’t make the long-distance thing work for very long.