Uncle John's Creature Feature Bathroom Reader For Kids Only!

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Uncle John's Creature Feature Bathroom Reader For Kids Only! Page 3

by Bathroom Readers' Institute


  RAT TEMPLE

  The Karni Mata temple in India is made of marble, gold, and silver. But it’s known as the “Rat Temple.” Why? It’s home to about 20,000 rats who live there and run free through the place. Hindu monks feed them bowls of milk and sweets, and some people even drink from the rats’ bowls! (It’s considered good luck.) Want to go? You can…but be warned: shoes are not allowed!

  PEST CONTROL, IRISH STYLE

  In ancient Ireland, people believed rats could be “rhymed to death.” It was thought that hearing poetry would whip the rats into such a frenzy that they’d kill each other.

  RAT TO THE RESCUE

  A West Virginia coal miner became pals with a rat he found down in the mines. He shared his food with the rat and always made sure it was out of the way before he set off any explosions in the tunnel. One day the rat began to act strangely. It scurried back and forth in front of the miner, first running to him and then disappearing around the corner. The miner set down his tools and followed the rat. Just as he turned the corner, the tunnel collapsed—right on the spot the miner had been standing only seconds before!

  PAMPERED PETS

  We already have dog parks, dog toys, and doggy day care. What will they come up with next?

  WHAT’S FOR DINNER?

  At the Three Dog Bakery they’re serving Drooly Dream Bars, pup tarts, and carobchip cookies. Sound good? Sorry—these tasty treats are for canine connoisseurs only. Gourmet dog treats are not just a passing fad; Three Dog Bakery has doggy diners throughout the United States, Canada, Japan, and Korea.

  MEOW TV

  At last! Television just for cats! Researchers say one third of all pet cats watch TV, so what could be better than Meow TV? This show brings shots of squirrels running up and down trees, inspirational programs about lions and tigers, and funny home videos of fellow felines right into your living room. Purrfect!

  DOGS’ DAY AT THE SPLASH

  Hot dogs in Hutchinson, Kansas, get a chance to cool off on the last day of swim season at the Salt City Splash pool. People can go in the pool, too, but they have to stay in the shallow end. Dogs, however, can cannonball anywhere (and anyone) they like.

  ANIMAL SIGNS

  American Sign Language is a way to talk by using your hands. Can you match the sign with the animal’s name?

  1)

  2)

  3)

  4)

  5)

  6)

  7)

  8)

  9)

  10)

  11)

  12)

  a. Tiger

  b. Cat

  c. Deer

  d. Bird

  e. Elephant

  f. Giraffe

  g. Kangaroo

  h. Monkey

  i. Owl

  j. Snake

  k. Spider

  l. Turtle

  SOLUTIONS

  1) b; 2) k; 3) i; 4) l; 5) e; 6) j; 7) f; 8) h; 9) c; 10) g; 11) d; 12) a

  WHAT ARE THEY? MEERKATS!

  DID YOU KNOW?

  • Meerkats aren’t cats—they’re squirrel-sized mammals (related to the mongoose) that live in southern Africa.

  • A meerkat’s close-up vision is so bad that it often misses food that’s right in front of it.

  • When meerkats dig a tunnel, they form a line and pass dirt from one to the other, until it’s out of the hole.

  SUN WORSHIPPERS

  When a meerkat gets chilly, it stands up on its hind feet and faces the sun. That’s because the dark skin on its belly acts like a solar panel. The meerkat even has built-in sunglasses and windshield wipers. The dark band around its eyes reduces the harsh glare of the sun and, every time a meerkat blinks, a special membrane on the eye wipes away the sand.

  LIFE IN THE MOB

  Belonging to a mob is critical for a meerkat—it could never survive the African desert alone. The mob lives in an elaborate underground home that has nurseries, sleeping rooms, and even a common toilet. To keep the mob running smoothly, each meerkat has a specific job. There are hunters, teachers, babysitters, diggers, and guards.

  WILD & WOOLLY FACT

  Meerkats can close their ears to keep dirt and sand out while they are tunneling.

  DING DONG!

  One night Amelia Roybal of Albuquerque, New Mexico, answered her doorbell and discovered a very drunk monkey swaying on her doorstep. He staggered into the house, found her liquor cabinet, and poured himself a glass of whiskey. Amelia and her husband thought they were victims of a practical joke and that someone was giving the monkey signals. But Myron the monkey was acting on his own.

  After tossing back another shot of whiskey, Myron got belligerent and refused to give Mr. Roybal back the bottle. The Roybals called the sheriff, then cornered the monkey in the laundry room, where he promptly filled the washing machine full of soapsuds and flooded the room.

  When the deputy sheriff arrived, he found Myron eating plastic fruit in the living room. Then Myron began hurling potatoes and oranges with dead-on accuracy at the Roybals and the deputy.

  It took four more deputies and seven members of the Roybal family to capture the tipsy primate, but they finally did. It turned out Myron had escaped from a traveling circus. His trainer had started him drinking the hard stuff as a way to calm his nerves before performing. (Maybe somebody needs to train the trainer.)

  AMAZING WORLD RECORDS

  • The Heaviest Dog. Zorba, an English mastiff from London, tipped the scales at a whopping 343 pounds.

  • The Fattest Cat. Himmy was a 46-pound tabby cat from Queensland, Australia, who was so chubby he had to be transported in a wheelbarrow.

  • The Oldest Dog. Bluey was an Australian cattle dog who lived to the age of 29 years and 5 months.

  WILD MEDICINE

  Ever watch your dog eat grass when it’s sick? It will sort through all the blades of grass to chew on the exact one that will give the best medicine. Other animals do the same thing.

  CHIMPANZEES in Africa get rid of parasites by carefully folding the spiky leaves of the wild sunflower plant, rolling it around in their mouths, and swallowing it whole. Chimps hate the taste of it—they make faces when they eat—but apparently they know it helps them.

  AFRICAN ELEPHANTS in western Kenya risk their lives to get to a cave in Mount Elgon just to chew on the mineral-rich rocks there. The sodium in this extinct volcano is essential for their health.

  CAPUCHIN MONKEYS of Costa Rica rub themselves with the Piper plant from the chili family to kill flies, ticks, and fleas and to numb the pain of insect bites.

  RATS can’t throw up. So when they’re feeling sick, they eat clay—it absorbs the toxins in their stomachs.

  GRIZZLY BEARS dig up the roots of the Loveroot plant (Ligusticum porteri), chew it to a pulp, and then rub the juices all over their faces and fur to treat stomachaches and bacterial infections.

  PANDA-MONIUM

  THE WEIGHTLIFTER

  Ying Ying proves he is no “girly bear” during a performance in the Chinese Acrobats Arts Festival in Beijing. This 17-year-old is said to be the only panda who can lift weights, dunk a basketball, and drive a car.

  BUFFALO PALS

  Man’s best friend comes in all shapes and sizes.

  CHARLIE was a four-day-old orphan when he came to live with Roger Brooks and his wife, Veryl Goodnight, in Tesuque, New Mexico. Goodnight was a sculptor who needed a model for the buffalo piece she was working on. Charlie was a buffalo who needed a home.

  In the beginning, Charlie was about the size of a golden retriever…and acted like one, too. He lived in the house, lounged on the sofa, and gave big wet kisses with his tongue. Even when he’d turned into a 200-pound bruiser, he tried to crawl into chairs with his owners.

  “We weren’t quite sure whether Charlie thought he was a human or whether he thought we were buffalo,” Brooks says.

  Being a buffalo, Charlie roamed wherever he pleased. Once he let himself into the house by walking through the screen door. He the
n marched up the stairs to the second floor and climbed into the king-size bed in the master bedroom.

  As Charlie got older, Brooks felt the 400-pound furry beast should spend a little more time outdoors, so he often took the buffalo for walks into the hills (or rather, Charlie took him). Brooks would follow Charlie and depending on the buffalo’s mood, they’d stroll or just stand still. It was up to Charlie to decide. “The old saying about buffalo is that you find out where they want to be,” Brooks explained, “and then you put the fence around them.”

  Charlie, who eventually topped the scales at 1,800 pounds, was finally weaned from his indoor home and went to live outdoors with two other tame buffalo on Brooks’ ranch.

  BUFFY THE WATER BUFFALO has been living with her family, the Bellingers, on their ranch near Humpty Doo, Australia, for over 18 years. Like most teenagers, Buffy is always hungry, gets in trouble a lot, and is really hard on the family car. She likes to rub her head up against the car (which puts dents in the hood). She won’t stay outside because she hates the rain, so she lives inside with the Bellingers.

  Her worst habit? Pulling freshly washed clothes off the line and chewing them. Buffy loves the taste of laundry soap, which probably makes the Bellingers wish they never heard the song that goes, “Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam…”

  OLD MACDONALD HAD A…

  HORSES breathe only through their nostrils.

  Twelve or more COWS are known as a flink.

  GOATS’ eyes have rectangular pupils.

  PIGS have four toes on each hoof but only two touch the ground.

  SHEEP can recognize as many as 50 other sheep by sight.

  PIGS are very clean. They always poop away from where they live.

  MULES always lift their tails before they bray.

  The underside of a HORSE’S hoof is called a frog.

  SHEEP have a built-in instinct to follow the lead ram. If a ram jumps over a stick and you take away the stick, every sheep after the ram will jump over the place where the stick was.

  DONKEYS’ eyes are set in their heads so they can see all four feet at once.

  FAINTING GOATS

  This breed has bulging eyes and long, upright ears, but otherwise they look and act like most goats. Except for one teensy little problem…

  When fainting goats are startled, their muscles stiffen and they fall over. The condition is called myotonia. It can be so extreme in some goats that even the noise of a passing car will make them keel over and faint. After 10 or 15 seconds, the goat gets up and walks away.

  Shepherds used to keep fainting goats to protect their sheep. If a wolf attacked the herd, the goat would faint, which would attract the wolf and give the sheep a chance to escape. So who would protect the goat? Guess he was out of luck.

  THE NOSE KNOWS

  POLAR BEARS can smell a seal on the ice 20 miles away. No wonder they’re nicknamed “noses with legs.”

  ARCTIC HARES can smell dwarf willow leaves beneath several feet of snow.

  SQUIRRELS can smell the tiny acorns they buried the previous autumn.

  DOGS can smell one drop of urine in a swimming pool full of water.

  WOLVES can smell prey more than a mile away if the wind is right. They can also smell the presence of an animal three days after it’s left.

  PIGS can be trained to find truffles—prized edible fungi that grow underground. (Some police departments use pigs to sniff out drugs.)

  COONHOUNDS can smell when a raccoon’s track was made, how fast it was traveling, and in what direction.

  BLOODHOUNDS can follow a scent that is four days old.

  DOGS can point out a sick catfish to fish farmers and even smell if there are termites in the house.

  UDDERLY RIDICULOUS

  MOO-SIC LOVERS

  The municipal band of Cortina d’Ampezzo, Italy, was marching through town one day when a herd of 25 cattle suddenly broke out of their pasture and deliberately butted the band members to the ground.

  Then, to everyone’s surprise, the cattle stood around affectionately licking the instruments.

  BEASTLY EXPRESSIONS

  Where does Grandma come up with the crazy phrases she uses? Here are the origins of three of them.

  DON’T LET 'EM GET YOUR GOAT.

  Meaning: Don’t let them upset you.

  Story: Racehorses and other high-strung Thoroughbreds are sometimes given goats as stall-mates. The goats seem to calm the horses down, especially before a big race. At one time, crooks who were betting against a horse would steal its goat as a way to upset the horse and make it lose the race.

  WHO LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG?

  Meaning: Who revealed the secret?

  Story: In medieval days, piglets were taken to markets and sold in sacks. Some crooks would stuff a cat into the bag and try to pass it off as a piglet. If the cat escaped in front of the potential buyer, so did the secret.

  HE’S A STOOL PIGEON.

  Meaning: He’s a traitor.

  Story: Pigeon hunters would use tame birds, tied to stools, to lure wild pigeons to come close and be caught.

  AND THE WINNER IS…

  The LARGEST HORSE on record: a Shire gelding named Samson. In 1850, at the age of four, Samson measured 7 feet 2 inches high (at the shoulder).

  Samson was also the HEAVIEST HORSE on record. He weighed 3,360 pounds.

  The SMALLEST PONY in history was a stallion named “Little Pumpkin.” He stood 14 inches tall and weighed only 20 pounds.

  The OLDEST HORSE on record: an English barge horse named “Old Bill.” A horse’s typical life span is 25 years. Bill was 62 when he died in 1802.

  The LONGEST TAIL was on an American palomino named Chinook. It was 22 feet long.

  The LONGEST MANE was 18 feet long and grown by a California mare named Maude.

  The FASTEST PONY EXPRESS RIDE was 7 days, 17 hours—it was carrying President Lincoln’s inaugural address.

  ANIMAL NEWS

  HAM ON THE LAM!

  In 1998 two red-haired pigs escaped from a slaughterhouse in the town of Tamworth, England, by squeezing through a fence and swimming across the icy Avon River.

  The British dubbed them “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Pig” after the famous Wild West outlaws.

  For the next six days TV crews and helicopters searched the countryside for the two escaped swine.

  The huge outpouring of support for the runaway piggies gave their owner a change of heart—he spared their lives and sold them to a London newspaper for the rumored sum of $24,500. The famous porkers were finally placed in an animal sanctuary and immortalized in a BBC television movie, The Legend of the Tamworth Two.

  AND SPEAKING OF PIGS…

  In the 1800s, families used to spend most of their money on a pig. Their pig acted as a garbage can by eating all the family’s food scraps and also gave them pork, bacon, and sausage. When asked if he had any money, a farmer would reply, “No. All my money’s in the pig.” When people stopped keeping pigs they made a replica of their pig to put their money in. Hence the practice of saving money in a…

  ANIMALS TO THE RESCUE

  TRIXIE THE NURSE. Jack Fyfe of Sydney, Australia, lived alone, with only his border collie, Trixie, for company. So when he woke up one morning to discover he’d suffered a paralyzing stroke during the night, he thought he was a goner. He knew it might be days before anyone would find him. To his amazement, Trixie took care of him. The collie brought him water by soaking a towel in her water bowl and draping it over his face. After her bowl ran dry, Trixie soaked the towel in the toilet. The faithful dog kept Fyfe alive for nine days, staying by his side until his relatives finally found him and got him to a hospital.

  CAT ATTACK. Bringing the family cat along on vacation saved two-year-old Janey Kraven’s life. Janey was playing in front of her family’s Adirondack Mountains cabin when a black bear seized her in its jaws and shook her like a rag doll. Jasper the cat sprang onto the bear’s head and scratched at its eyes. The enraged bear let
go of Janey and chased the cat into the woods. When Jasper came home two hours later, unharmed, he received a hero’s welcome.

  MAD COWS

  PLANE SILLY

  A British couple who left their antique airplane in a pasture while they went to lunch had a rude awakening when they returned. While they were chowing down at the local pub in Hereford, England, a herd of cows was enjoying their own meal: the airplane. Apparently the cows really liked the taste of the old canvas covering the vintage plane’s metal frame. Those cows had expensive taste—their meal cost $15,000.

 

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