“Lucky for you, your dad kept us late after practice,” I tell her. “So I just got here myself.”
I don’t mention all the other times I’ve come looking for her, hoping she’d show up, waiting too long and then feeling pathetic as I left.
It’s been a few weeks since our literal roller coaster ride, and things have seemed shaky between us. We’ve barely been able to see each other. We’d arranged to meet here in what has become our secret hiding place as often as we can— every evening after practice, if possible. But more often than not, it hasn’t been possible for one or both of us. Usually her, it seems.
There are plenty of explanations for why we haven’t gotten to see each other as much as we both would like. I’ve been busy with practice and games, since mid-season and the extra training is nearing its peak and the team is doing really well. We’ve been winning most of our games and it looks as though we’ll have a real shot in the post season, for the first time in the school’s recent history.
And I know that Chelsea has been just as busy, preparing the cheerleading squad for its upcoming competitions. Not to mention all the exam prep we’ve both been doing.
But the fact that we have to sneak around— and not let Coach Thompson find out that we’re seeing each other— is one of the huge hindrances. It remains an elephant in the room most of the time, and Chelsea hasn’t brought it up since the first time she’d asked me to meet her here to essentially tell me that she wanted me to be her dirty little secret.
I was fine with that, of course— and I’d told her so, trying to psych myself up with the excitement of that arrangement— but I can’t help thinking I wanted more. Then, and now.
She pulls herself close into my hug and I lean down to give her a kiss. For a brief, passionate second, it’s just as if we’re picking back up the day after the amusement park, like we should have been able to do. If we were a real couple.
But I have an idea that I hope will fix that problem. Sure, it won’t make us be able to properly see each other, but at least we’ll see each other again.
“I’ve been thinking,” I tell her. “That it’s about time you watched me play something other than football.”
“Oh yeah?”
She glances up at me, her beautiful blue eyes shining with interest. I love how big and bright they are. Especially when she’s looking at me.
“Yeah. Did I ever tell you that I’m a member of the college Ultimate Frisbee team?”
“What?” she laughs. “No, you didn’t.”
“Well, that’s because it just started up a couple weeks ago, and it’s not an official sport.”
I wink at her.
“I see.”
She laughs, which was exactly my intention. I love the light guffaw she always gives me— goofy but natural, a contagious laugh that makes me want to laugh right along with her.
“Yeah, it’s actually just a bunch of guys getting together to run around the field like idiots, throwing a Frisbee to each other and chasing after it. Much like dogs do.”
There’s that laugh again.
“I’d love to see that spectacle,” she says. “When is it?”
“It’s this Friday night,” I tell her.
It’s perfectly timed, because it’s the team’s rest week so there’s no game for me to play in or for her to cheer at. And even though I know the cheerleaders have a big competition coming up, it’s on Sunday, so my stupid little Frisbee game won’t be interfering with that.
But her face drops.
I realize what the problem might be.
“The other guys on the team aren’t football players,” I hurry to add, to sweep aside any fears she might have in that department. “So your dad won’t find out we’re hanging out. Well, except for Christian, whom I’ve sworn to secrecy. These are mostly friends of his, and I’m trying to make some friends who aren’t in football.”
“Too much alpha male competition?” she guesses.
“Something like that. But anyway, a lot of these guys are soccer players, and it’s at the soccer field. Not the football field.”
“That’s good,” she says, but she still doesn’t sound too promising.
I assume she’s still worried about her dad finding out about us, no matter where we go or what we do. If it’s on campus, it’s probably a no-go for her. Guess I might have to endure another roller coaster ride at her beloved amusement park.
“We’ll probably grab some drinks after the Frisbee game, as that’s what we usually do,” I tell her. “And you’re welcome to come to that too.”
“I’ll try to make it, but that’s right before the conference competition…”
“I know,” I tell her. “I didn’t mean…”
Her phone vibrates, and she pulls away from me before I can explain that I hadn’t forgotten about her own weekend plans. She reaches into her bag to see who is contacting her on her phone.
“I’m so sorry to rush in and out,” she tells me, “but something’s come up. With the team.”
Uh huh.
So she’s giving me the blow-off, I suppose. And coming up with a lame excuse, at that.
This never fucking happens to me.
Never, that is, until I let little miss Chelsea Thompson creep into my head and my heart.
Most girls want to be my girlfriend, yet I never want commitment.
I’m usually the one telling a buddy to call me and make up some reason I can leave a girl in the dust.
“It was nice seeing you, though,” she says, with a smile that’s almost half convincing. “And I really will try to come watch you and the other doggies play fetch.”
“Ha,” I say, trying hard not to laugh at her joke, even though it’s funny.
As she quickly heads towards the door, I feel like an idiot for even inviting her. Clearly she doesn’t have the time. She’s already moved on. And I’m dumb for thinking we could be anything more than rushed, secret hook-up buddies.
“Don’t worry about it,” I tell her. “It’s really no big deal.”
As I head home, I try to tell myself the same thing, about everything— about us.
But it’s really hard to convince myself.
Chapter 31 – Chelsea
I can’t believe the text I’m looking at.
It’s from Mandy’s mother.
Mandy’s been hospitalized. She won’t be able to make the conference competition.
I’ve had to read it several times to make sure it said what I thought it said.
Poor Mandy.
And she’s one of the most talented cheerleaders on our team. Our conference competition that can make or break Nationals is right around the corner.
It took me a minute to catch up with reality, right when I was in the middle of seeing Wesley again. I’d been hanging back and avoiding him lately, not wanting to be pushy and annoying like the cheerleaders at his old school. And not wanting to be as silly as they were, thinking that he and I had something serious going.
But when I saw him, I couldn’t believe how much electricity still exists between us. I want to believe he’s as happy to have seen me as he looked.
I was a bit disappointed when he hadn’t seemed to remember my upcoming competition. Then he’d said he’d remembered it but that it was on a different day than the Frisbee game to which he was inviting me.
He obviously didn’t seem to understand that it took a lot of planning and practice and wasn’t just a one day deal. But I guess a lot of non-cheerleading people wouldn’t. So I’m willing to cut him some slack for that.
There’s no time to dwell on any of that now though. I’ve got to think about Mandy. And the rest of the squad.
After I break away from Wesley and as I hurriedly leave the pool, I text back: Where?
I text Taylor to meet me at the quad, and then I get another text from Mandy’s mom.
We’ll let you know shortly. We ask for no visitors at this time. Please keep this information confidential among only the captain
s for now until we figure out more information.
By the time I reach the quad, I’m a mess.
“Taylor!” I say, hugging her hard.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, holding onto me.
It’s also been a while since I’ve talked to Taylor. I was annoyed with her for butting in so much between Wesley and me. But now I just need her support.
“Look,” I tell her, showing her my phone with the texts from Mandy’s mom.
“Oh my god. That’s awful!”
“I know!”
We both cry, unable to hold back our sobs.
“I hope she’s going to be okay,” I say.
“I’m sure she will be,” Taylor reassures me. “Whatever’s wrong with her, she’s young and in good health.”
“I hate to mention it but…”
“Yeah,” Taylor says. “What about our routine?”
The routine I’d planned for the upcoming conference competition pretty much literally revolves around Mandy.
“I’m going to have to plan a new one,” I tell her. “There’s no way around it.”
“Couldn’t someone else just take her part?” she asks.
“No one else can do those tumbles and acrobatics. Plus, the lines would be all uneven.”
“This sucks.”
“Tell me about it,” I say. “I’ve been so torn trying to decide what to do about Wesley. Then my dad tells me he’s in super deep with your mom. Then this happens, which causes me to worry both about the future of Mandy and our conference competition chances. I just don’t know much more I can take.”
“Hold on,” says Taylor. “Back up. Your dad said he’s in deep with my mom?”
“Oh. Yeah. I mean, he didn’t come out and say it but he certainly implied it.”
I feel dumb. But clearly Taylor knew this information way before I did. It’s not like I was keeping a secret from her.
“And how exactly does that fact get added into the list of bad things that happened to you?”
I grimace.
Oops.
“It’s not a bad thing. It’s just that…”
“I knew it,” she says, practically exploding. “I knew there was a reason you’ve been so distant from me. You can’t just be happy for my mom. And your dad. Everything has to be about you.”
“Woah!”
Now I’m the one fuming mad.
“That is not true,” I tell her. “At least, not all of it. I haven’t been keeping my distance from you. Or if I have, a little, it’s just because…”
“Because what? Because I tried to give you some common sense advice about Wesley?”
“No!” I almost yell, frustrated beyond belief.
I hear Wesley’s voice in my ear, telling me how Taylor’s always acts like my mother figure. Maybe I just need some space from my “mom.”
Because you’re always trying to tell me what to do, I want to tell her.
But I really need Taylor right now. Neither of us may feel like best friends at the moment, but we are. We always have been, and we always will be.
“I’m sorry, Taylor,” I tell her, calming down long enough to give her a hug, which, thankfully, she returns.
“You’re right. I just… I just need a little freedom to make my own mistakes, I guess.”
Did I just admit that Wesley was a mistake?
“Okay,” she says, holding up her hands. “I’ll try to remember that. I just can’t help but give you my opinion and try to help.”
“I know,” I tell her. “And usually I appreciate that. I really do. Right now, though, I just need a hug.”
“Now that I can definitely do,” she says, as she keeps holding me tight.
Chapter 32 – Wesley
“And, he tosses the flying disc into the air for perfect victory,” Stan shouts, as a Frisbee whizzes just over my head.
Stan is a soccer player, and he’s in a science class with Christian and me.
“But his teammate fails to catch it, and they lose,” Stan finishes, as the Frisbee falls flat on the ground by my feet.
“Sorry, Dude,” I tell him, leaning over to pick up the Frisbee.
“Your head is not in this game at all,” he says. “Good thing you’re not playing in a football game right now.”
“Ha. Yeah.”
It’s only a silly Frisbee game, but I feel bad for letting him— and my team— down. We’ll lose bragging rights for sure.
But I can’t snap out of it. Even though Chelsea had seemed distant the other day and I hadn’t seen her since then, part of me was really hoping that she would show up.
I imagined her joining us on the field, running around in cute short shorts and a tight sporty t-shirt, working up a sweat and helping us win an amazingly important game of Frisbee.
But she’s nowhere to be seen.
“I’m going to call it a night,” I tell Stan, nodding to the other guys on the field.
“No Buddy’s afterwards?” he asks.
“Not for me,” I tell him. “Not tonight.”
The plan was for us to grab a beer at our favorite local watering hole after the game. But I’m too distracted, and I just want to be left alone.
I’m still anxiously looking up at any girl who walks by, thinking that maybe Chelsea did make it after all. But none of them are her of course.
I’m losing my mind and I’d better get out of here before any of the guys can figure out what’s really up with me and start busting my balls about being hung up on some girl.
I’m not hung up on her, I tell myself.
Or at least, I won’t be any more.
It’s clear I should go back to my old ways. Being a player worked out better for me than getting too caught up with the idea of Chelsea. Even if she did want to date me seriously, her father would never approve of me. And it’s clear that she doesn’t want to date me seriously. Or even, apparently, at all.
I’ve never been stood up before— sure, I know she only said she’d try to make it, but she didn’t even let me know she couldn’t come— so this is a first. Letting my guard down for a girl was also a first. I’m going to be sure that that part never happens again.
Chapter 33 – Chelsea
I arrive late to the Ultimate Frisbee game, but I’m happy to see that the guys are still playing, even though things seem to be winding down. I’d spent the last few hours coming up with a new routine for our competition on Sunday.
In fact, I’d spent all of my free time from the last time I’d seen Wesley— and had to rush out after getting the text about Mandy— until now planning a new routine, with Taylor’s help. I’d made the team come later than usual for practice today, so that they could start learning it as soon as we’d finished it.
But it’s a disaster and we’re going to have to spend all day tomorrow ironing out a ton of kinks. I should be re-doing certain parts of the routine instead of coming to watch a Frisbee game that by the looks of it is already over. But I feel bad for running out on Wesley the other day and I want to show him he’s important to me and explain what happened.
I scan the field but there’s no sign of Wesley. Christian, either.
Shit.
“Hey there,” says one of the players, obviously checking me out.
I decide, desperately, to snag this opportunity.
“Have you seen Wesley?” I ask him.
“Wesley?”
He scratches his head.
“The name sounds familiar, but I can’t place the face…”
“He’s a friend of Christian Lewis’,” I add. “They were both supposed to be here at this game.”
“Oh, Christian, sure,” the guy says. “And I know who you’re talking about now. Wesley. The new guy. Football player.”
He looks me up and down again.
“It figures you’d be here looking for him.”
I don’t know if he means that as an offense against Wesley or as an expression of jealousy and I don’t want to bother finding out.
/> “So have you seen either of them?” I press.
“They were both here earlier,” he admits, giving up his pursuit. “You might want to check Buddy’s. The plan is to go there after we’re done here, and some of the guys have already gotten a head start. Because technically this game’s already over. We’re just shootin’ the shit.”
“Okay, thanks,” I tell him.
At least he confirmed two things I wanted to know. Wesley was in fact here, and the place they’re grabbing drinks afterwards is Buddy’s.
It’s not somewhere I usually go— a college sports bar frequented mostly by frat boys— but it’s only a short distance away and I want to apologize for and explain my absence to Wesley.
I hope he’ll understand. I don’t want to mess things up further between us.
Chapter 34 – Chelsea
But when I walk into Buddy’s, Wesley isn’t here. Christian is, though.
“Hey Chelsea,” he says, not looking very happy to see me.
He’s with a couple of guys I don’t recognize. They must be soccer players. They were in the middle of hitting on the bartender when I arrived and I’m sure I’m cramping their style.
“Sorry, I was just looking for Wesley,” I tell him. “Is he here?”
“No, he didn’t come,” Christian says. “He decided to head home early.”
I look at him dubiously.
“You told him I was going to be late to the game, right?” I demand.
“Yes, of course,” he says.
I have a science class with Christian and I’d told him earlier today to let Wesley know I planned to be at the Frisbee game but that I’d be late, and if I wasn’t able to make it, I’d meet them for drinks afterwards.
When I’d asked Christian where they were going for drinks, he’d said Caddyshacks, another sports bar by the city’s biggest golf course. They must have changed plans. Which makes sense, since Buddy’s is much closer to campus than Caddyshack’s. So I’m glad the guy at the Frisbee game had filled me in.
“And Wesley just… left the game early and went home?” I clarify.
SEAL's Virgin: A Bad Boy Military Romance Page 86