"It was like being stuck by lightning; I resisted my feelings as long as I could, but it was hopeless. I'd never felt like that about anybody before," he had said.
"She must have been devastated," Liz continued, returning to the present.
"I'm not sure. Certainly she was hurt, but there was no passion between us -- not the blazing kind of fire that you and I had. Caroline and I grew up together. We were like brother and sister; there was no spark between us. We got married because that's what our families expected. It was inevitable that one of us would meet someone and fall in love. As far as wanting a divorce, what she wanted was never a consideration, any more than what I wanted. She was every bit as powerless as I was; her parents told her what she would do, and that's what she did."
"Given all that, I don't understand how the two of you ended up putting out to sea on Isis," Liz said.
"Well, after I went to work for her father, my situation became intolerable. He treated me like a dog -- not even a dog. It was worse than that. Every time he belittled me publicly, he gloated. Caroline said we were in purgatory, but it felt more like hell to me. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I quit; I told them all I was through and just walked out."
"What happened then?"
"I went to our house to pack a few clothes and told Caroline what happened. She decided to come with me. We had a little bit of money -- enough to buy the boat, and a little left over to live on."
"Where is she?"
"Beats me. She couldn't take living on the boat. She got seasick; she missed being rich. We were almost out of money, and we decided to try running some charters down here. I'd been working on that, trying to line up deals with some of the resorts for day charters and get listed with the charter brokers -- working my ass off. She just bailed out on me a few weeks ago. I came back to the boat one day and she was gone. She left me a note saying her folks sent her a plane ticket. Guess the price of freedom was just too high for her."
"So what will you do now?" Liz asked.
"I'm going to try the charter thing. I've got some backing from some local businessmen to help me get going. My first charter's in three days, but I've got to come up with a mate who can cook. Know anyone who might be interested?"
Liz shook her head.
"How about it, Liz?" he asked, bowing his head and looking up at her from under his eyebrows. "You'd be perfect."
"No, Robert, I'm…"
"Please," he whined, "just hear me out. I know I treated you horribly. I still can't sleep at night; I'm so ashamed of what I did. I'm not asking you to take me back. I don't deserve that. I'm just asking you to help me try to get this business off the ground. Come with me to pick up the people in St. Vincent. I'll give you your space. You could help me through this first charter -- strictly business -- and we'll see how it goes between us. Don't give me an answer now. I know I'm asking a lot. Just think about it, okay?"
Liz shook her head, annoyed at her racing pulse, hoping that he couldn't see the flush she felt spreading over her cheeks at the thought of being alone with him on the boat. "I'll let you know tomorrow. I've got to go now to pick up my friends in Ste. Anne," she said, pushing her chair back as he rose quickly to his feet.
"Thanks, Liz," he said softly.
She hurried away to the dinghy dock, blinking back tears at the same time she clenched her teeth in anger.
****
Dani and Connie sat at the dining table in Vengeance's saloon as Liz bustled about in the galley making a pot of tea. "Sandrine thought Dani's suggestion of violence was right on target," Connie said as Liz joined them at the table.
Liz smiled as she squeezed a lemon wedge into her steaming mug of tea. "I feel better, but I'm more confused than ever," she said, taking a cautious sip. Setting the mug down, she summarized what she had learned from Robert.
"I can't believe he had the nerve to ask you to be his crew," Connie said when Liz was finished with her tale.
She looked at Connie. "When he first mentioned crew, I thought of telling him about you. It didn't cross my mind that he was asking me until later."
Dani studied the surface of the tea in her mug, lost in thought. She looked up at Liz, but Liz avoided her gaze. "You're thinking about it, aren't you?" she asked.
"Yes, damn it," Liz acknowledged. "I can't understand it, but I keep picturing how it would be to sail with him. In my imagination, though, we're on Vengeance and I'm the skipper."
Dani laughed. "Ready to flog him for the slightest transgression, no doubt."
Liz smiled. "I'm the one who needs flogging. I'm annoyed with myself, but my pulse races when he looks at me."
Connie said, "Of course you're thinking about it. Don't be so hard on yourself. The kind of feelings you had for him don't just go away. When a serious, long-term relationship ends so traumatically, it takes a lot of time and thought to work your way through your feelings. What did you tell him?"
"Well, at first I just said no, but he said he knew that we couldn't go back to where we were before he left me. He's so different now; he's like a scared little boy, almost. He always seemed so strong and sure of himself before; this new side of him is more attractive. I had to restrain myself from hugging him and telling him it'll all be okay."
"So how did you leave it?" Connie asked.
"He's got a charter to pick up in three days in St. Vincent, so he needs an answer, but I couldn't bring myself to just refuse. I think it would have crushed him."
"Which is what the asshole deserves," Dani interjected.
"Probably," Liz agreed, "but he's so wounded. I couldn't do that to him after the way he bared his soul to me. He's got nobody to turn to."
Dani was staring down at her tea again, jaws clenched. Connie held Liz's gaze and nodded slowly.
"I told him I'd let him know tomorrow," Liz said.
Chapter 5
Liz scrambled the eggs with mechanical efficiency, her mind occupied with thoughts of Robert. She tuned out the conversation between Connie and Dani, who were drinking coffee in the cockpit while she assembled breakfast. Last night had been no more restful than the previous one, her frenzied dreams mixing with interludes of wide-eyed, unfocused anxiety.
Besides the stress brought on from insomnia, she was frustrated with herself. She didn't want to harbor the feelings that plagued her. Rationally, she knew that Robert was unreliable and that courting thoughts of resuming her interrupted relationship with him could only jeopardize the pleasant life she had made for herself since he betrayed her. Emotionally, though, she realized that she was as in love with him as she had ever been. Perhaps her feelings were even stronger now because of the reversal in their roles; he was the needy one now, where she had been reeling from the loss of her father in their earlier days.
She spooned a serving of eggs onto each of the three plates on the serving tray. They were already laden with buttered toast and wedges of fresh papaya drizzled with lime juice. She added three small glasses of chilled passion fruit juice to the tray and took it up the companionway ladder. Placing the tray on the cockpit seat on the side opposite Dani and Connie, she slipped into the space beside it. She smiled as she passed the plates.
Connie poured steaming black coffee into the cup at Liz's place. "So how'd you sleep?" she asked. "Better since you confronted him?"
"I wish," Liz said, her smile fading. She felt Dani's gaze but avoided looking at her friend, instead casting her eyes down to focus on her coffee as she measured out a half-teaspoon of sugar with great deliberation. As she stirred it into her coffee, she looked up at Dani and shook her head.
"Go see him and have it out, one way or the other," Dani said.
"What do you mean?" Liz asked, confusion etched across her brow.
"Get off the fence, dammit. Jump his bones or kick his ass. You can't go on like this."
"I'm so confused," Liz said. "I can't go back to him, but part of me surely wants to."
"It's been what, two years?" Connie asked.
"A
little over that," Liz said.
"And have you had another man in your life since then?"
Dani and Liz exchanged a long look. Liz took a sip of her coffee, collecting her thoughts.
"I tried, but it worked out oddly," she finally said.
Dani addressed herself to her breakfast; Connie waited, giving Liz time to think.
"Oddly?" Connie asked after a lengthy pause.
"It's a long story," Liz said.
Connie nodded. "I don't mean to pry, but I'll listen if you want to tell me."
"You can imagine the state I was in after Robert left me," Liz began. "I finished up a project at work in a few weeks and then I resigned. I had a little money, between my savings and what my father left me, so I stored my things -- not that I have much -- and came to the islands to clear my head and get him off my mind. I hated being a financial analyst anyway. I planned to find something completely different after my holiday. I'd been enjoying life in Guadeloupe for a few weeks when I met a charming guy in Marie Galante. He had a lovely, classic wooden boat, and we spent some time sailing and he kind of fell for me, in his own peculiar way."
Connie nodded her encouragement as she chewed her eggs. Dani had finished her breakfast and excused herself to go below, being well acquainted with Liz's adventure.
"It never got physical," Liz resumed, "but that was his choice. I certainly let him know I was willing, but he somehow avoided my advances without putting me off in the least."
"That's unusual," Connie said. "Was he gay, do you suppose?"
"I don't think so. It turned out that he was crazy, but I didn't learn that until it was all over. He kept wanting me to commit to stay with him for an extended voyage, but I only wanted to go as far as Antigua. There was some friction building because of that, and I began to notice some really strange behavior. He'd space out a lot, and sometimes he called me Michie or Dani."
"That is odd, all right. Did he know Dani?"
"Well, as it turned out, he did. He took her on as crew a little before he met me. They were a mile or two offshore from St. Vincent when he knocked her out. Tossed her overboard and left her for dead."
"Wow!"
"Yes, and it gets even more strange. After Dani, he picked up another girl in Martinique and killed her. I found her stuff on his boat. Michelle was her name; she was probably 'Michie.' Of course, at the time, I didn't know what to make of it, but it did make me a little suspicious of him, given his other quirks. So I was on guard, planning to part company with him in Antigua anyway. I have a friend from university who lives there; I was going to see her. On the way from Guadeloupe we hit Cade's Reef on the southwestern corner of Antigua. I woke up in the wreckage a few hundred yards offshore and swam to the beach. He was missing and everyone figured he was dead. I was working in my friend's art gallery in Antigua when I met Dani. You know most of our story together."
"Yes. So you had a close call with this guy, it sounds like."
"Yes, I guess, although I didn't know it until Dani and I connected. He was wanted for serial murders. Dani and Phillip and some of their friends were chasing him when we ran onto the reef. Turned out that he survived the wreck, more or less, but he's dead now. That's another story, though."
"No wonder you never got over Robert," Connie said.
"I guess I really haven't dealt with my feelings for him; I've had too much going on."
"Dani's right, in a way, I think," Connie said.
Liz nodded. "I know. Thanks for listening."
Dani appeared at the companionway with a fresh pot of coffee. "So now you know part of the story of Mike Reilly," she said to Connie.
"I'm sure there's more; Liz implied as much."
"Yes. We'll tell you another time. It doesn't have any bearing on Liz's dilemma. Right, Liz?"
"Right."
"Got any idea as to your next step?" Dani asked.
"Yes. I want to invite him aboard for dinner tonight. I want both of you to meet him and let me know what you think. I'm just too confused to go it alone."
Dani and Connie exchanged glances as Dani poured them all coffee.
"Makes sense to me," Connie said.
****
"I'm not used to seeing her so unsure of herself," Dani said, as Connie poured fresh cups of coffee for them both. They sat in the shade of the cockpit awning watching the dinghy in the distance as Liz sped away toward Marin.
"She's hurt all over again," Connie said. "She never got the bastard out of her system and now he's back, trying to get in her good graces. No wonder she's struggling."
"I'm going to behave tonight, but it won't be easy," Dani said. "It would be so simple to just take him out in the channel and feed him to the fish."
"But Liz wouldn't forgive you for that."
"Oh, I know. That's the biggest difference between Liz and me."
"The ability to forgive?"
"No, but I do favor retribution over forgiveness. I meant our views on men."
"What about men?"
"Well, I have a kind of love 'em and leave 'em approach. They're okay, in their place, but I don't have the patience to have one in my life for very long. Coping with all that fragile ego wastes too much time."
"Maybe you haven't met the right one yet."
"Could be because I'm deliberately not looking. Anyhow, I understand that Liz has a thing for this jerk. No matter how much he deserves it, deep-sixing him would upset her. Maybe she'll get over him now that he's back in the picture."
"I think she's still under his spell," Connie said.
"No kidding; she definitely is."
"Are you just the slightest bit worried that she might decide to take off with him?" Connie asked.
"No," Dani said, registering the surprise on Connie's face at her answer. "I think she's already decided. She just can't bring herself to accept it."
"What will you do?" Connie asked.
"You mean until it's time to pick up the pieces?"
"I gather that you don't think things will work between them," Connie said.
"And you do?"
"No. You're probably right. Will you take her back when he's broken her heart all over again?"
"She's my best friend, and she's part owner of Vengeance. It's our home; she can come and go as she pleases. I'll cope until she comes to her senses. The more immediate question is what you want to do. You've got Vengeance under charter for a while yet. You want me to hire somebody to cook and crew?"
"You mean to finish out my charter?"
"Yes."
"Can you do that? Just hire a cook for a couple of weeks?"
"Sure. No problem. There's no guarantee as to what we'll get, but the bareboat charter companies have a roster of people looking for short term work. I could probably have somebody in a day or two."
"I don't know. I could fill in with you; it would be good experience for me," Connie said.
"Your choice."
"Let's see what she decides, and I'll let you know. What if she decides to stay with him indefinitely?"
"What if she does?" Dani asked.
"She might want to sell her share of the business."
"That's an option; the way it's structured would make it easy enough for her to sell to a passive investor, or I could just buy her out," Dani said. "That's not really a big deal, either way."
"I'm glad," Connie said. "I'm fond of you both; wouldn't want to see any extra stress for either of you."
"Thanks. I'm not too worried. If she'd been serious about this asshole, I think she would have opened up with me about him before now. After all we've been through in the last two years, we're not keeping secrets from one another. I think she just thinks she still loves him. Once she gets close to him again, my bet is she'll see he's still the same jerk that left her in Brussels to go back to his wife. This time, she's going into it knowing what kind of shit he really is. She'll resolve it; she's way too tough to put up with this guy. That's my bet, anyway."
****
Li
z's thoughts were racing as she maneuvered the dinghy through the anchorage near the marina in Marin. Overwhelmed by the number of look-alike, modern white boats with blue canvas, she forced herself to recall where Robert had told her Isis was anchored. Motoring slowly through the crowded area, she finally spotted a fifty-foot sloop with 'Isis' painted in white on the blue canvas cover over the boom. She brought her dinghy alongside, killing the outboard and coasting to a gentle stop just as the dinghy touched the yacht's side. She stood up and grasped Isis's toe rail. Rapping smartly on the side deck with her knuckles, she called, "Hello, Robert?"
After a moment, she heard a muttered, unintelligible reply. She waited, her anxiety building. After almost a minute, Robert's head appeared in the companionway. His short hair was matted with sleep and stuck out at odd angles as he peered around through bleary, bloodshot eyes. When he saw Liz, his face brightened.
"Sorry if I woke you," she said.
"No. It's…I mean, well, yeah. I was kinda sleeping in, but it's time I was up. Come on aboard."
"You sure? I can go run an errand ashore and come back in a few minutes."
"No, it's fine. Come on up and make yourself at home. Let me take a quick shower; maybe you could make us some tea?"
"Okay," Liz said, tying the dinghy's painter to a midship cleat and stepping onto the ladder.
"Kettle's on the stove; tea's in the aft galley locker. You'll see the mugs hanging over the sink. I'll be decent in no time." Robert scurried away into a forward stateroom as Liz stepped into the cockpit. She paused, wondering if he still slept in the altogether; she wasn't ready for that. She registered the sound of a door closing in the forward part of the boat, soon followed by the clatter of a pump as he began running fresh water.
Reassured that he was safely out of sight, she stepped below and looked around, wrinkling her nose at the musty odor of spilled beer and old smoke. She frowned; housekeeping still wasn't a high priority for Robert. She stepped into the galley and picked up the kettle, shaking it to make certain it held enough water. She found the propane shutoff switch and turned on the gas supply to the stove, looking around for a lighter of some kind. Locating a box of matches stuck in a corner, she struck one, holding the flame to the burner under the kettle. She found the tea and cups where he had said they would be and set them out on the greasy counter.
Bluewater Betrayal: The Fifth Novel in the Caribbean Mystery and Adventure Series (Bluewater Thrillers Book 5) Page 3