“No fair!” I say.
“Don’t talk to me about fair,” Malik says. “They weren’t even going to give us beds!”
I try not to get too upset over not having a place of my own where I can lick my wounds in private, when a freckled hand waves in front of my face.
“We’re roomies,” Rada informs me.
Rooming with Rada won’t be so bad. She can give me the deets on the school and might have inside knowledge, and I can loan her some sunblock.
Putting my game-face back on, I grab her arm. “Come on, roomie.”
She shakes me off. “You’re very touchy-feely.”
“It’s from being a pageant girl.” I go in to give her a hug but she ducks out of the way, turning so that instead I get a face full of arrows from her quiver.
I’m stung, though I smile through it.
I thought we’d bonded over gossip, but now she doesn’t even want a friendly hug? What the hell? How am I supposed to relate to her if she won’t take beauty tips, refuses to be my enemy, and then passes on being my friend?
I follow her to the table where a willowy woman is giving out duffle bags. She hands me one, but not Rada. “School uniform and books,” Rada explains. “I already have mine…just need to move it to my new rooming assignment—with you.”
“You do get one of these, though,” the woman informs Rada, handing her a houseplant. “For your new room,” she explains. “Think of it as a housewarming gift.”
Rada steps aside and I am also handed a plant. I hold it like it’s a bouquet of roses. I’ve never touched a plant before that wasn’t meant to be used as an accessory.
“Oh…um…I am so honored to be taking care of this noble plant,” I tell her. “I promise to… read to it every night.”
I’m probably supposed to water it, too. And what do plants eat, anyway?
The woman eyes me; her bright green eyes twinkle. “Good luck.”
“I’m Brandee Jean by the way.” I’ve already blown my start with Taylor, but maybe I can get this assistant on my side.
“I am Demeter.”
“Oh shi—” I hear Rada say, under her breath.
“Very pleased to meet you, Demeter.” I say with a curtsy. “How long have you been Athena’s assistant?”
To which suddenly the woman’s face goes from twinkling to turd-eating.
“She doesn’t know what she’s saying,” Rada cuts in. I realize I’ve stuck my foot in it again, so I follow Rada outside.
“You idiot!” She says. “Demeter isn’t Athena’s assistant. She’s here for the trials. She’s the goddess of agriculture.”
“Oh. Crap. Like Athena, but…” I search for the right word. “Less muscle and more gardening skills?”
“Just…come on and keep your mouth shut,” she tells me. “In case we run into any other gods on the sly.”
We’re a bit behind the other girls but I spot Zahara and Prisha, talking. Sophia is walking alongside them, holding her houseplant at arm’s length, her nose wrinkled. As we pass a garbage can she throws it in.
“Rude,” I say. I look at my own plant, patting the terra cotta container. “Don’t worry, buddy. I’m gonna keep that mean vampire away from you. Unless you’re garlic, then you can keep her away from me, right?”
Rada side-eyes me. “Garlic is a bulb,” she says. “Not a plant. That is clearly an aloe plant.”
“Are you a good little aloe plant?” I ask it.
“Do you always take to non-sentient beings?”
“Look, I’m a pageant girl. I talk to anybody, and anything. Usually with a big smile, big hair, and a great big personality. Not everyone can handle it. We’re going to be living together, so you’re gonna have to handle it. You either like me, or you don’t. But I’m going to do my root-toot-toot-in-est to make sure you do. And the harder you struggle, the more I’m going to get friendly all over your ass. So you might as well just give in and like me now. Fewer people will get hurt.”
“Fine. I like you,” Rada says with zero enthusiasm or sincerity.
It stings. I never had trouble making friends and always considered myself a likeable person. But the people here are making me doubt myself.
We get to the building and find our room. It’s small but clean. I’ve been in worse hotel rooms. Mama always said you can’t judge a book by its cover, but you sure can judge a mattress by a black light.
I plop down on one of the beds. Magically, my carry-on and even my checked luggage is waiting for me.
It’s nice to have the familiarity of my stuff in front of me. There’s not a lot of closet space for my things, but that’s okay. I figure hanging my dresses around the room will help brighten it up a little. Right now it has a prison block sort of feel.
Rada watches me as I hang my dresses on the wood moldings near the ceiling. Then I take up most of the bathroom counter with my make-up, since it looks like Rada only has a toothbrush and a bar of soap.
“You know, you don’t need all that,” she tells me as I check each dress for rips or lost bling. I lick my thumb, picking up a few sequins that have fallen to the floor.
“You may not need all that,” I tell her. “You know what Athena is looking for. I need to look my best and be prepared for anything.”
“No, that’s not what I meant,” she tells me, standing. She scrunches her face and suddenly her school uniform turns into a black leather catsuit. Then she sorta wriggles her nose and this time it becomes an emerald green bikini—and daaaaaaamn.
“Girl,” I say. “If that’s what all you Amazons look like I really hope there’s not a swimsuit competition, because Zahara can just fly her harpy ass on out of here.”
One more face-scrunch and now she’s wearing a pair of comfy pajamas. She sits back on her bed, looking smug. “Our uniforms can change into anything we want.”
Whhhhaaaaa? “Anything?” I ask.
She nods.
There are so many dresses I wanted that Mama couldn’t afford. Not knock-offs, but actual designer dresses. I rip open the duffle bag they gave us and the plain uniform clothing spills out everywhere. Quickly, I change and then stand in front of the mirror. For all the Amazon’s rah-rah you-go-girl attitude, this uniform was definitely chosen by a man. Short plaid shirt and a tight white blouse.
Nope, sorry. This is definitely not going to work for me.
Closing my eyes, I think about that dress I saw in Cosmo, the one that was a hundred grand. I knew owning it was impossible, but at least it’s free to look.
Except when I open my eyes, I’m looking at myself wearing it.
I turn toward Rada so the skirt of the dress swirls around my feet. “I have never been happier than in this moment,” I tell her. “And I want to thank the Academy—”
“I really don’t understand you,” she says.
“But you like me,” I remind her. “You really, really like me.”
“I’m going to sleep.” She lays back on her bed, and instantly seems to zonk out.
I’m left alone in the most perfect dress ever made...but all the fizz goes out of my soda.
I wish Mama was here. If only she’d held on for a little longer.
Or Shauna. My post-apoc buddy. My sister from another mister. She would’ve hated this dress, but she also would’ve totally understood why I loved it.
I promised myself I would find a way to rescue her, but instead I’m half a world away. And If I lose my power, then I’ll return home with no freezer nest egg and super strength. I won’t be able to take care of myself, much less think about going after Shauna.
With that thought, my dark mood gets darker yet.
I hate feeling this way. Sad and hopeless. It reminds me of Mama when she had her cement boot days. Those were times when she couldn’t get out of bed ’cause it felt like she was wearing thigh-high boots made of hardened cement. It’s hard not to worry that the same darkness that did Mama in might eventually track me down too.
It’s one of the few things that can’t be held back w
ith a spangled baseball bat.
But thinking about that won’t help me now. I imagine a big fluffy bathrobe. With sequins. I need every pick-me-up I can get.
Wrapped up snug, I hustle off to find the bathroom to let all this sadness rinse off me and away down the drain. ’Cause tomorrow, I gotta go out there and show them all—nobody bets against Brandee Jean.
10
We wake at the butt crack of dawn for our first trial. I barely have time to apply foundation, cover-up, mascara, a bit of eyeshadow, and a dab of lip gloss. But my outfit looks fierce. Another dress I never thought I’d wear.
As we near the horse barn, I’m overwhelmed with stinky animal smells. It occurs to me that wearing Versace to a stable doesn’t make much sense. After a moment of thought, I change into studded leather leggings and high heeled riding boots. There’s no mirror nearby, but I don’t need it to know I look fierce.
Everyone else looks like they chose whatever they’re most comfortable in—mostly athletic wear. Except for Alaric who has on another polo shirt and a pair of perfectly pressed pants. Only Rada wears the uniform.
Athena eyes us. “While you’re here you will follow the dress code,” she tells us. I sigh and change, as do all the girls. The boys look bewildered. “All of you.”
She waves her hand and suddenly the boys are wearing white shirts and plaid kilts. Alaric has killer legs while Trevor’s are a bit too skinny. They all look slightly put off, but whatever. Fair is fair. I think about what Sora said yesterday…how the boys were originally meant to sleep in a tent by the beach. Or maybe fair isn’t quite fair at Amazon Academy.
Honestly? I’m not gonna waste my tears on them. They can deal with a little sexism this one time.
“Artemis has designed your trial for today,” Athena announces.
“Goddess of the hunt,” Rada whispers to me.
“It is a multi-part contest,” Athena continues. “You will find that throughout this competition, not all trials will be to your liking. Some of you will find the tasks simple, due to your newly inherited powers, while others may find the same task nearly impossible. Do not be fooled by the simplicity of some trials. You may not be aware of all the elements at work. Indeed, you may not even know that some trials have already begun. And some of you”—her gaze sweeps us, betraying nothing—“have already been found lacking.”
The ten of us exchange wary glances, as if the one of us found lacking might suddenly announce themselves and go home.
Sophia smirks and says in a low voice, “Brandee Jean, she was looking at you.”
I glare at her, but say nothing. Today I’m working on keeping my mouth closed.
A woman who must be Artemis steps forward. She’s extremely fit and looks like she could run down a deer.
“Follow me,” she says and starts off at a jog. Is this a running competition? Good thing I kept up my pageant work-out schedule during the apocalypse. Cardio is very important for your heart and circulation. And your ass. We leave the stables and jog up a cliff path that overlooks a pasture. Below us are beautiful wild horses. A few of them rear up, showing off, and I quickly amend that. Stallions. These are definitely boy horses.
“The first part of your task is to catch one of these wild horses and bring it back to the stable. You have until the end of the day to claim your mount. If you do not, you will not be able to compete in the next phase of my trial.”
I laugh…but no one else does.
“Are you the goddess of jerking my leg?” I ask, but Artemis only gives me a cold glare. Rada nudges me, and I remember how I was gonna keep my big mouth shut, but I can’t help but wonder…how the actual hell am I gonna catch a freaking wild stallion?
Folding her arms over her chest, Artemis takes a step back. “Begin.”
We all sorta stand there, waiting for someone to do something.
Alaric comes forward. Of course he does. He thinks he’s the best. Jerk.
He scans the horses in the pasture below in this assessing sort of way and then with a blink—he’s gone. There’s just empty space where he was standing.
“Look!” Prisha says, pointing out toward the pasture.
Alaric is now below us, seated on a giant black stallion. With no saddle or reins, he struggles to stay on the horse as it rears up. But somehow he keeps his seat and the horse settles.
“Nice,” Malik says.
I bite my tongue to keep myself from agreeing with him. But truth be told, it’s an impressive display.
We’re all still watching in amazement as Alaric gallops off across the field like some sort of fancy horseman. In a skirt, too! I try to pretend he looks ridiculous in the skirt, but astride the horse, it really plays up his powerful thighs.
“Don’t be too impressed,” Trevor says. “He was head of the equestrian league at school. But it’s only because horses like him better than people do.”
Malik nudges Trevor. “Sounds like you’re jealous, man.”
“Does it?” Trevor smiles in a way that has a slight edge, but then his eyes twinkle and the darkness fades. “Let me ask you, would you rather be riding a beautiful girl in the stables or a big ugly horse out round a ring?”
“Girl,” Malik says with a grin.
“Ugh.” I shake my head at both boys. “Gross.”
I turn to ask Rada what her big plan is, but she’s gone.
“What the…” She’s wandered down into the pasture and is staring down a horse. She has her hands out and is speaking softly. The horse bows its head and she grabs its mane. She swoops onto its back and rides it over to us.
Artemis beams. “I am not surprised, my Amazon,” she says.
“How did you do that? I ask Rada, as she neatly prances over to the eight of us, un-horsed people.
“I am an Amazon. One of our first tasks is to tame a wild horse,” she tells me, then turns her stallion’s head and races back to the stable. I fold my arms. I’m gonna have to wait and see how the rest of them get this done, because my horse-whispering roomie obviously isn’t dropping any hints.
Zahara flies into the air and lands on a horse. It tries to get her off its back but she steadies herself with her harpy wings. Sophia follows suit, flying and landing on an unsuspecting mount. Prisha does some witchy mumbo jumbo and traps a horse in a magic lasso, pulling it to her.
Malik turns into a lion and sprints after a horse, who looks absolutely terrified. Malik leaps, shifting back into a human midway. He holds on for dear life and manages to stay on its back. Constantine, his erection almost unnoticeable in the folds of his kilt, walks out and a horse trots over to him. He doesn’t even have to do anything!
“What the what?” I ask, aloud.
“Virility and charm,” Trevor says.
Oh, that explains a few things. Like, I assume it’s the charm that attracted the horse. But these are boy horses and Constantine is gay. I guess maybe horses can be gay, too.
I don’t know about any of that, but what I do know is that I’m the only girl left. I glance at Sora. Then I lose about five minutes staring, because he’s freaking beautiful. “What do you have up your sleeve?” I ask.
“I honestly don’t know,” he says. Then his face brightens. “Wait....” He takes off down to the meadow, and I don’t know if I’m supposed to actually wait, or just check him out while he does his thing. And honestly, I’m okay with either. He’s just as captivating from behind.
I turn to Trevor. “And you? Do you have any ideas?”
He shakes his head. “Not a one.”
Artemis reminds us that we have all of today, then goes back to the Academy, apparently bored with her last three students—or maybe she’s just assuming we aren’t going to catch any horses before time runs out.
Once she’s gone, Trevor smiles mischievously, then turns into the spitting image of her. He even has her voice. “You have one day to tame a horse, raid a village, kill a cave bear and wear its skin, eat a monkey, charm its mother, then conquer all of Westeros.”
&
nbsp; I laugh as he turns back into himself. “Very funny, but that doesn’t help us any.”
A bell rings, long and rolling, from somewhere back on campus.
“That’s probably breakfast,” Trevor says. He puts out his arm. “Shall we? We have all day to think about how to solve this conundrum.”
I take his arm, forcibly reminding myself that he’s not to be trusted. But at least he can be fun. Unlike his brother.
“Conundrum,” I repeat. “Is that a British word?”
“It’s English, yes,” he says. I think he might be making fun of me, as we make our way back down the path. “It means a problem that needs solving.”
“Speaking of problems, what’s up with you and Alaric?”
“Rick?” He coughs out a laugh. “Well, let’s see. His mother is our father’s wife, while mine was just our father’s mistress. We are very nearly the same age. You see where I’m going with this.”
I nod. “Secret love child drama?”
“Well, in my case, not so secret. My mother died when I was five. Our father decided that I was to be raised with his other son. He wanted us to be friends.”
“But your stepmother was a wicked bitch?” I ask.
“Karen? No, she’s a lovely woman. She knew I wasn’t to blame for her husband’s wandering eye. She treated me like I was her own son. The problem was Rick. He hated me right away. Thought I was there to usurp his inheritance.”
“Oh, that’s awful,” I say as we get to the dining hall. I mean, awful relatively speaking. He did get to grow up the son of an English duke. He probably never had to barter for Quik Powder, or anything else for that matter.
Before we walk into the hall, Trevor stops me. “Shall we dress for lunch?”
I smile. “I think we should.”
He changes into a leather jacket and white t-shirt combo that is very James Dean. It fits him perfectly. Meanwhile, I go back to my earlier dress since I didn’t get to wear it nearly long enough.
All set, we enter the hall. Immediately conversation stops. All eyes are on us. I drop my hand from Trevor’s arm.
“What?” I ask the room. “Haven’t you ever seen Versace?”
Amazon Princess Page 8