His head turned towards the iMac on the corner of his desk—the only thing still on the desk—and his jaw ticked. I forced my feet to move across the room to see what was on the screen, all the while avoiding the evidence of his rage spread across the floor. As soon as the image came into view, everything began to spin and my knees buckled. Travis caught me just as I was about to hit the floor. Sitting in his chair, he cradled me to his chest as I stared in horror at the paused video.
"Imagine my surprise when I found this in my inbox." His voice seemed dark and ominous and I understood why the contents of his desk hadn't survived.
"I can't believe you had to see that." I closed my eyes tightly and wished that this would all go away. "This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. I totally understand if you're disgusted with me."
"You're sorry?" He let out a humorless laugh and his hands tightened on me. "I'm the sick bastard who thought it was hot watching you beg a woman to come. Even if it was for a split second, I still did. I'm disgusted with myself."
"Wait? What?" I looked back over to the screen where the Senator had his hand around my throat while he raped me.
"Apparently it's a compilation of sorts," he explained.
"It was only the two videos," I said more to myself than him.
"Wrong. He must have filmed you numerous times."
I scrambled from his lap and clicked on the video, starting it from the beginning. The first scene was a brief snippet of me begging the producer of Chicago to let me come. I could understand why Travis initially found it arousing—girl on girl always was. When the scene shifted to me bound and gagged as Ashton's friend, Tony, fucked me, I felt my stomach roil. From there it shifted to me giving a blowjob to a big investor on Broadway as Ashton fucked me from behind. But when the screen came alive with my very real rape, I ran from the room and found myself throwing my breakfast up into the toilet.
Once the heaving stopped, I rested my forehead on my arm. I found myself transported back to that time when I was nothing but a kept whore, who thought my master loved me when in reality he was only using me. When I was young, naïve and so very stupid. I felt dirty and used all over again. Yanking my clothes off, I shoved them in the hamper before getting under the spray of a scalding hot shower where I scrubbed myself as I sobbed uncontrollably.
Travis stepped into the shower and lowered the heat on the water. My red and raw skin sighed in relief, but all I could do was tremble in his arms as he whispered soothing words into my ear.
"This wasn't how it was supposed to be," I said forcefully, pulling from his embrace. "We were supposed to be happy. He was supposed to stay out of my life. But no. The fucker had to weasel his way in with my sister. And now look at us. Look at me, Travis! I'm falling apart. I can't do it anymore. He has to go away. That's the only way. I'm going to have to kill him and make it look like an accident." I barely recognized my own voice as I hysterically rambled on. I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't see the alarm flash on Travis' face or even realize I was telling him I needed to leave him so that he didn't have to deal with any of this.
Everything was a complete blur, until he took my face in his hands and forced me to look at him. "Maya!" He shouted and shook me, his grip a little too tight on my skull. "Look at me damn it. You are not going to fall apart. You are not going to hurt that fucker, even if he does deserve it. And you are certainly not going to walk away from me. Get out of your fucking head and focus on me. I won't let you break, Maya. Just look at me."
I blinked at him, but said nothing. Relief softened his features and he let out a heavy breath. Turning off the water, he wrapped a plush towel around his hips. Next, he wrapped a towel around my shoulders and picked me up like you would a child, cradling me to his chest. Moving into the bedroom, he sat me on our bed and left me to put on clothes. He came back and carefully dressed me in one of his t-shirts. When he was done, he knelt in front of me.
"You still with me, sweetheart?" He brushed strands of my tangled, wet hair from my face. I gave him a weak nod and he grinned. "Good. You want to stay here and get under the covers or do you want to go in the other room with me so that I can call Grant?"
"With you," I whispered. He took my hand, entwining our fingers together as he pulled me from the room and into the living room. He situated me on his lap so that my head rested on his shoulder. Once he knew I was comfortable, he dialed Grant.
Sitting as close as I was, I could hear Grant's side of the conversation. If I wasn't still mortified by what had happened, I might have laughed at the colorful words that came out of his mouth when Travis told him about the video that was accompanied by a note to call off our dogs or it would become a bestselling adult video.
Someone's going to have to put a lot of money in the swear jar, I mentally snickered.
"What are you going to do about this?" Travis asked Grant in a menacing tone.
"I'm going to make him wish he was never born. I'll have my IT guy contact you to access the message. If we're lucky the fucker wasn't careful enough to cover all his tracks and we'll be able to pick up his digital footprints. How's Maya handling this?"
"As well as can be expected," Travis answered vaguely, and I was grateful he didn't tell Grant about my meltdown. Him knowing would have made me feel weaker than I already did.
"Tell her it will be over soon. I promise."
"It better be."
"Travis," Grant sighed. "I know how hard it must be to have your hands tied but trust me to take care of this. You're like a brother to me. The last thing I want is for you or Maya to suffer."
"You have no idea how hard it is not to be able to protect your wife," Travis admitted.
"That's where you're wrong." I imagined Grant's mind was going to the night Vivi was born, and he found Elizabeth passed out and covered in blood. I shuddered remembering how despondent he was that night as everyone waited for her to come out of surgery. "I'll be in touch."
I burrowed further into Travis' hold and let him lull me to sleep as his hand stroked my head. It would all work out. It had to. There was no other alternative.
Chapter Thirteen
"We're going to be late for Grant and E's housewarming party," I warned Travis as his mouth moved over my bare shoulder at the same time his hands ran up my torso and cupped my breasts.
"Do we have to go?" He asked against my skin.
"Yes."
"I can change your mind," he pressured me.
"I know you can, but I really think you should stop. We're always late because you can't keep your hands to yourself." My voice didn't pack the punch it should have and Travis knew it.
"I don't hear you complaining when I'm doing it." He had a point there. "Let me make you come. I won't even expect you to return the favor."
Well, if he insisted. I rolled my head to the side in a silent acquiescence, letting his mouth explore the sensitive spots of my neck.
Travis maneuvered us so that he was sitting in the chair in the corner of my dressing room and I was on his lap. Leaning back against his chest, I gripped the arms of the chair when his left hand splayed my legs open and his right hand delved into my black panties. Honing in on the perfect spot, he had me panting in no time flat.
It felt so unbelievably naughty to be sitting on his lap in nothing but my bra, panties and black thigh-high stockings while he was fully dressed. The roughness of his jeans added an element of eroticism as it scraped against my skin each time I writhed against his hardened length. The buttons of his white button down shirt dug into the skin of my back as I pressed deeply into him, trying to hold back my orgasm. It felt way too good to let it be over so quickly.
"Oh God," I groaned when he thrust two fingers inside me.
"He has nothing to do with it, sweetheart. It's all me," he whispered in my ear, making me shiver.
Using my grip on the chair, I ground into his hand, lifting my hips to meet each of his thrusts.
"Don't stop... don't stop... don't stop," I chanted as I crested and
came on his hand.
Slowly petting me, he brought me down, and I sank back against him like a rag doll.
Bringing his fingers to my lips, he pushed them in my mouth and I tasted the tanginess of my essence on him. I sucked greedily on his digits and began to writhe in his lap again. I should have known him getting me off wasn't going to be enough. Without fail I always wanted more of him like a junkie wanted their next high.
"You need to get off me before I come in my pants," his voice was strained and his body tense when he spoke.
Looking over my shoulder at him, I gave him a saucy grin. "How about I make it up to you on the ride out to Scarsdale?"
"You better get up and get moving then." He pushed me from his lap and smacked my ass, chuckling.
"Behave or I'll have to punish you instead," I warned him.
"Promises, promises." He sighed and winked as he strolled out to the bedroom.
Shaking my head, I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face.
Things had been quiet for the last two weeks. We made it through Thanksgiving without any unusual craziness or family drama. Kayla even came to dinner, looking worse for the wear, but at least she wasn't with Ashton anymore. I knew how it felt after Ashton Moore turned your life upside down. She needed to work through it on her own, but I made sure she knew that I was there for her if she needed me.
Slipping into my blue sweater dress, I put on a pair of drop earrings and grabbed a pair of booties. Sitting on the bed, I had just finished zipping up the last boot when Travis came into the room holding a distinct blue colored bag at his side.
"Tiffany?" I breathed with excitement. What girl didn't love a gift from Tiffany's?
"I was going to wait until after the ultrasound on Monday to give this to you, but I couldn't wait." He shuffled on his feet like a little kid filled with excited energy. I knew how he felt. I was dying for our first ultrasound. It felt like we had waited forever for this moment to be here.
"Gimme." I snatched the bag from his hand, making him laugh.
I was completely stunned when I pulled the items from the bag. They were beyond perfection—a Tiffany bear bank, Tiffany baby frame, and Tiffany bows comb and brush set in sterling silver—our child's first gifts.
Tears filled my eyes as my fingers ran over the bear. "Oh Travis." My lower lip quivered. It was so hard not to be emotional, especially with all the hormones running through my body, but faced with the sweet sensitivity in Travis, I was a goner.
"Do you like it? I thought we could put the ultrasound picture in the frame until we have our little one's first official picture."
"I love it. It's our baby's first gift and I'll cherish it forever knowing it was from you." I rose from the bed and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his mouth to mine. The kiss was soft and sweet, and everything about that moment in time was perfect.
"We better get going or instead of being fashionably late we're going to be rudely late." He kissed my forehead and loosened his hold on me.
"I'm going to go put these in the nursery. Then we can go." I picked the gifts up and walked down the hall to the room we decided would ultimately become the nursery. It was mostly empty now, but that didn't stop me from neatly placing each gift on a built-in shelf. Running my fingers lightly along each one, I smiled and let my heart settle.
"Ready?" Travis asked from the doorway.
"I'll be right there." I stared at the display on the shelf for a moment longer before prying myself away. There'd be plenty of time to look at it later.
* * *
There was something wrong. I knew it in my gut. Travis had looked at me like I was crazy when I told him that the night before. I didn't know how to explain it, but a woman knows.
My leg bounced as we sat in the waiting room at the doctor's office. Travis placed his hand on my knee stopping my nervous motions. "It'll be fine, Maya. You have to keep a positive attitude."
"What if it isn't?" I chewed my nails now that my leg was pinned under the weight of his hand.
"If it isn't, we'll get through it. You and me, remember? That means no matter what."
"I'm going to be sick," I announced a few minutes later.
"It's just your nerves. Close your eyes and take a couple deep breaths." I did as he instructed. Once my eyes were closed, I felt his warm breath against my neck and his hand running up my inner thigh. All my anxiety was instantly forgotten as he awakened each nerve he came in contact with. "Better?"
"Oh yeah," I breathed out.
He placed a gentle kiss behind my ear and let out a low chuckle. "Good to know I still got it."
"Jerk," I grumbled.
"Maya Hamilton?" A short, stocky nurse spoke from a doorway on the other side of the room. I stood and crossed the room to where she stood. Travis' hand rested on my lower back as we followed her down the hall into a darkened room.
"My name's Marcy. I'm going to be doing your ultrasound today. I'll need you to disrobe from the waist down. There's a blanket on the table you can use to cover up with. I'll be back in a minute." She gave us a kind smile and shut the door behind her.
Travis sat in a chair in the corner while I started taking off my jeans and panties. As he watched me, he had a naughty smirk on his face that showcased his indecent thoughts. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Hamilton. I'm the mother of your child," I scolded him.
"No fun," he muttered.
"Yeah, well, you aren't about to have a giant dildo shoved up your vagina."
He shuddered and sat up a little straighter. "Thank God for that."
I laughed lightly and shook my head, getting comfortable on the table after draping the blanket over my lower body. My dangling feet swung from side to side as I waited for what felt like forever but was only a few minutes in reality. When the nurse came back into the room, I tried to pace my breathing like I would in yoga class in order to keep my nerves in check.
"Have you ever had a vaginal ultrasound done before?" She asked as she applied a condom to the wand and lubed it up.
I cleared my throat. "Yes."
"Good, then you know what to expect. I'm going to have you lay back and put your legs in the stirrups here." When I was in place, she let me know she was starting. I held my breath as the wand made its way up my vagina.
The room was quiet as she clicked buttons and moved the wand around inside me. The black grainy image on the screen slowly came into focus and you could see a tiny image that looked like a miniature fetus on the screen. I glanced over at Travis, who was transfixed by what he was seeing. As if he sensed my gaze, he turned his head and gave me a wide smile.
Marcy was silent as she kept clicking and measuring the image on the screen. I felt that dread in the pit of my stomach again when a frown formed on her face.
More clicking. More frowning. I thought I was going to lose it. The worst part was Travis was so far away from me. I felt alone and scared. It was a horrible feeling.
"I'm going to go get the doctor," she finally spoke. Removing the wand, she efficiently cleaned up and then gave me a tight-lipped smile. "You can get dressed now."
As soon as the door shut, tears filled my eyes. "That wasn't good." My voice shook, and I felt my body following suit.
Travis was immediately at my side, wrapping me in his embrace. It was comforting, but it wasn't enough. "Let's wait to see what the doctor says."
"Why didn't she say anything to us?"
"It isn't her place to. That's the doctor's job," he reminded me.
"There was no heartbeat," I whispered.
"Maybe it's too early."
I shook my head in disagreement and decided to end the discussion. "I need to get dressed."
He stepped back and paced as I put my clothes back on. Both lost in our thoughts, we didn't have to wait long before the doctor came in.
"How are you feeling, Maya?" She asked, taking a seat in front of me.
"Okay."
"Breast tenderness?" I nodded.
"That's
good. Morning sickness?" I shook my head.
"Look, I'm not going to sugarcoat this for you," she started and Travis was quickly at my side and holding my hand tightly in his. "The baby is measuring a few weeks less than it should be and the ultrasound technician couldn't detect a heartbeat. While this could mean nothing, it could also mean this is a nonviable pregnancy. I'd like to have you come back in another week to see if there is improvement."
"What do you mean when you say it could be nothing?" Travis asked her.
"Sometimes fetuses at this stage mature differently. With Maya only being nine weeks, it is possible that there could be a heartbeat next time we look. It could also mean that she is going to miscarry. I'm really very sorry. I know how much you wanted this."
I sat stoically as she explained to us how normal it was for women to miscarry and that at least we knew that I could get pregnant. As if that would lessen the blow of finding out we weren't going to have a precious baby in eight months.
Inside I was a mess of emotions, afraid that I was going to snap at any moment and it would all come pouring out of me.
"Maya, if you experience any cramping or bleeding between now and next week, I want you to call the office immediately." Her concerned voice broke me from my thoughts. I nodded at her so she knew I was listening since it was impossible for words to form on my lips at that moment.
She stood and gave me a hug. "I'll tell the girls up front to set you up with an appointment on your way out. If you have any questions or need anything, please call me," she stressed before leaving.
Travis put his arm around me as we walked down the hall towards the entrance of the medical complex. I shrugged his embrace and my lips quivered when I said, "I can't. I'm going to lose it."
We walked in silence through the parking garage towards the car. As soon as the door closed, hot tears poured down my cold cheeks and each sob I unleashed shook my body.
Travis' hand rested on my knee the entire way home as I silently cried. The saying, big girls don't cry rolled around in my brain. I didn't care though because big girls were allowed to cry when their hearts were breaking. And mine was crushed.
Forever Your Concierge Page 12