by T. Styles
SCARLETT
I sat in the second row of the funeral home looking at a tiny casket in the front. It was pink and had small blue hearts all around it. They were Jasmine’s favorite colors. In all of its beauty it was actually the most awful thing I’d ever seen in my life. No mother should have to bury her child and yet here I was supporting my sister Denim while she did it.
Denim sat in the row in front of me. Her blue dreads were pulled back in a ponytail holder. She wore black sunshades almost the size of her face and I could see chains of tears rolling down her cheeks. Bradley sat to her left, rubbing her arm while her head rested on his shoulder.
While I looked at Denim’s baby’s casket, Master cooed in my arms. I guess I should have been grateful that although she was without a child, I still had mine. But I wasn’t. Every now and again Denim would look back at me and then the baby and I couldn’t imagine the pain she must have felt. To know that while I just gave birth, she was now burying her only child.
When I heard loud sobbing in the back of the church I turned around. Coming down the aisle was Sarah, Denim’s mother along with Grainger. Although this was a dark day they both looked fashionable in their Christian Louboutin high heel shoes and designer label dresses. It was as if they were dressed for a fashion show instead of a funeral.
Sarah looked really good due to all of the weight she’d lost from the stomach stapling surgery. And Grainger looked like she had made a come up too. I wondered how they got the money, but now was not the time to be thinking about or asking that question.
“Oh my God,” Sarah screamed coming down the aisle as Grainger held her up. “Please Lord why did you take my grandbaby? Why did you take her from me when you know how much she means to me? Oh Lord, pull me out of here and take me to Heaven. Pull me out of this world and this misery because I’m not going to be able to make it!”
She was growing louder and making an awkward scene. Denim, on the other hand, didn’t even turn around in her mother’s direction.
Bambi and Race stood up but before they could make a move my husband along with Kevin, Bradley and Ramirez were already on top of both of them. Camp stood on the right of Sarah while Ramirez stood on her left. Bradley stood in front of Grainger and I wondered if it was the first time he’d seen her since he broke her jaw.
Kevin walked up in front of Sarah. The entire church was on pause wondering what he was about to do. Instead of knocking her out he gripped Sarah’s arm and whispered something harshly in her ear. I don’t know what was said, but Sarah and Grainger quickly pulled themselves together and sat down for the rest of the funeral. Nobody heard much from them after that. I guess they were able to compose themselves after all.
After the show they put on, the preacher got up and said a few words for Jasmine. At this point Denim started sobbing heavily. Bradley pulled her closer so that her head could rest on his shoulder again. He kissed her softly on the cheek. My heart poured out to Denim and Bradley.
“Why, God?” Denim asked standing up. “Why would you take my baby? I’m nothing without my baby.” She raised her clenched fists and swung at the air. “Why? Why me?” she screamed.
I handed Master to Camp and I rushed to help my sister. Bambi and Race were right along with me. We tried to hold her in our arms but Denim was inconsolable. She dropped to her knees and before I knew it she passed out.
****
I was sitting in the repast with my family but without Denim. She was taken out of the funeral in an ambulance after passing out and Bradley was right at her side. At the hospital although she begged the doctor to discharge her for the burial, he wouldn’t. He said that if she didn’t calm down he would commit her into an institution instead and he couldn’t promise when she would be released. It was hard leaving her there but we didn’t have a choice. It seemed like things were getting worse for Denim. We had our problems in the past but I felt bad for her. I loved her so much.
Master was in my arms fast asleep and I was happy for the break. The way my mind was going I didn’t have the mental energy to soothe his whiny moods and be fake for all of the people who really wanted to know one thing— who started the fire?
When my phone vibrated again for the twentieth time I pulled it out of my purse. When I saw it was a text message from Ngozi my heart rocked. I hadn’t heard from him in awhile and I hoped it would stay that way. Besides I paid him off and I thought things were cool. So what was happening?
Ngozi: Come outside.
I ignored the message.
Ngozi: Now.
My head spun from left to right. Where was he? It wasn’t like he was invited to the funeral so why was he saying come outside?
I looked over at Camp who was talking to Ramirez. I felt safe even though I probably shouldn’t have. I took a deep breath and replied.
Me: Leave me alone. Just move on with your life.
Ngozi: Don’t make me hurt you. Come outside now. We have something major to discuss.
This was a nightmare. In the back of my mind I knew he had something to do with the fire but now he was confirming it. He was basically telling me that if I didn’t give him what he wanted, he would hurt my family again. If this got out my sisters and my husband would never forgive me.
I had to see him. If I hurried maybe I could talk some sense into him so that he wouldn’t do anything crazy again. So I tossed my cell phone into my purse and stood up.
I slowly walked the baby over to Camp and said, “You mind holding Master for a little while? I have to go to the bathroom.”
He looked me in my eyes and gave me a small smile. Although it wasn’t big I knew he wanted me to know that he loved me and I can’t lie, it felt good. “I got him, baby,” he said. “Go do your thing.”
After handing him our child I walked slowly toward the exit. I looked back once to make sure Camp wasn’t watching and he wasn’t. So I exited the room and pushed through the double doors before bending the corner. And there he was standing across the street in all white. An eerie smile rested on his face as he waved me over.
I walked at a leisurely pace toward him. I started to run back inside but I needed to get this over with. It was time to be brave. If he was going to hurt anybody else I wanted it to be me, and not my family. When I finally got up to him he removed his smile.
“What do you want with me, Ngozi? I gave you the money after you met with Camp. Didn’t I?”
“I want something else.”
“Then what the fuck is it?” I screamed. I looked behind me at a few people who were exiting the repast.
He grinned. “I see you’re feisty now.”
“I don’t have time for games.”
“Me either. Which is why I’m going to be in touch with you in a few days. And when I do I want you to be ready to do anything I ask.”
“And if I don’t?” I questioned while shivering.
He rubbed my face in the same place my husband had earlier. “You already know what I’m capable of. Haven’t I showed you enough?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
BAMBI
Since our home was destroyed we were at the large cottage house we bought in Maryland last year. Although it was called a cottage it actually had seven bedrooms, a full basement and a livable attic. The back of our home overlooked a large lake. It wasn’t as glamorous as the mansion but it was cozy and warm, especially during the holidays.
I was sitting in the dining room with Scarlett, Race, Bradley, Kevin, Camp and Ramirez. Noah and Melo were there too. Denim was in the room sleeping because she was on heavy antidepressants.
We were having a long overdue family meeting, even though I always hated them. This one was important for more than one reason. Outside of the fact that a lot of things were happening to us, it was also the first one we held since Denim lost Jasmine two weeks ago.
“I know I normally run the meetings,” I said under my breath. I looked over at Kevin. “But this time I’m going to turn it over to my husband.” I took my seat.
Kevin stood up, rubbed my shoulder and smiled down at me. He had a smug look on his face and I didn’t want to read into it the wrong way. But it looked like he was happy I was bowing down to him.
“As you all know we suffered a major attack on our family a few weeks ago. This attack must be answered but first we have to play smart.”
“How do we play smart, Dad?” Noah asked. “We lost little Jasmine in a fire. If you ask me now is the time to fight, not be weak and smart.”
“Fight who?” Melo asked with an attitude. “You always so quick to pull the trigger but you never know who you shooting.”
“He’s right, son,” Kevin said. “I miss Jasmine too. Nobody misses her more than her father and mother, but we can’t make stupid moves based on our emotions. Everything we do from here on out has to be calculated. If we jump out there without a plan we can suffer another loss.”
Noah frowned and sat back in his seat. He folded his arms over his chest. “So who did this shit?”
“The Russians of course,” Scarlett yelled out. She seemed nervous. “Who else would it be?”
I thought about Ngozi but he would be a fool to make a move like this on us. Besides, the last meeting I had with the Russians led me to believe that they were capable of such an atrocity.
Even though they pulled me up when I was shopping with Noah and Melo I never let my family know because I didn’t want them worrying. I kept the secret and now I was wondering if it was a bad move. Was I responsible for the baby’s death?
“I’m not sure if it’s the Russians,” I said looking over at her. “They haven’t said anything yet,” I lied. “And to burn down the house without asking for a price doesn’t make any sense.”
“She’s right,” Kevin replied. “The fire department said they found an accelerant all over the house. Whoever did this shit had time to come inside. The Russians are resourceful but not that resourceful. They could’ve never gotten past the security we bumped up recently. Chances are it’s somebody we know.” He looked around at everyone. Even me.
“Right and since somebody is always home it doesn’t make sense that it would be the Russians,” Camp replied. “Something else is going on here.”
Scarlett moved uneasily in her seat.
“So what are we going to do?” Denim asked standing in the doorway of the dining room. “Sit here and talk all day or make a move?”
She was wearing a fluffy purple nightgown, which was tied tightly around her waist. Her dreads were all over her head and tearstains were dried on her face. To make matters worse, from where I sat I could smell her pussy. It stank like pickled sausage and eggs.
I felt bad for my girl. Although I knew she was going through the worst scenario a mother could ever have to go through I hoped she’d pull herself together soon and be able to do small things like bathing, because right now I was worried. She didn’t care how she looked or smelled and I couldn’t imagine how Bradley was going through it.
“Baby, go back to bed,” Bradley said in a soft tone. “I don’t want you worrying about this. We got it. I’m here so I represent you.”
“Fuck the bed, Bradley,” she screamed at him with clenched fists. She walked into the dining room and slowly circled the table. “None of you…not a one…knows what it feels like to lose a daughter. But I do.”
“I didn’t just lose my daughter too?” Bradley asked.
“You made me turn her away,” she yelled. “Remember? You made me tell her to get away from the door just so we could fuck. And now look! She’s gone.”
“That’s not fair,” he roared.
“Fuck fair,” she screamed louder. “Now I want the mothafuckas responsible for this shit to die, and I want it to be a slow death. None of that put a gun to his head and pull the trigger shit. I want him to pay for everything he did to me and everything he took from me.” She sobbed. “I can’t believe I lost her. I can’t believe she’s gone.”
“Baby, that’s what we’re trying to do,” Bradley said standing up. “Instead of moving on somebody who didn’t have nothing to do with this shit, we trying to play it safe and smart.”
“I know who was involved,” she responded before looking over at Scarlett. “Don’t I, Scarlett?”
It seemed like Denim was all over the place. She was blaming everybody and everything.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Scarlett replied.
“Yes you do, bitch. You hated my baby from the first day you saw her face. And you finally were able to kill her. You poured some shit all through the house and you killed her!”
Large tears poured out of Scarlett’s eyes and her face reddened. If I didn’t know it before I knew at that moment that she was blame free. Scarlett would never do something like this.
“Denim, we were all in that house the night it burned down,” I said seriously. I knew she was hurting but throwing lies like that around could get somebody killed. “Master was in his crib sleep and he could’ve died too. We all could have.”
“Why are you always taking up for this bitch?” she asked me. “Huh? You and me both know she couldn’t care less about Jasmine. And now she sitting over there like she’s the queen with her baby while my baby’s gone. She did this to me! Didn’t you?”
Denim rushed over toward Scarlett’s end of the table like she was about to hit her. Scarlett got up like she was prepared for anything including fighting. Denim raised her right hand and smacked Scarlett in the face so hard a red handprint popped up on her skin. But instead of Scarlett fighting her back she gripped Denim into her arms and hugged her.
Denim tried to wiggle away from her embrace but Scarlett must’ve had a death grip on her because she couldn’t get away.
Finally Denim’s body seemed to weaken and she wasn’t fighting as much. “I miss my baby,” Denim cried in Scarlett’s arms. “I miss my fucking baby so much.”
“I know you do,” Scarlett said holding her tighter as she cried too. “And I’m so sorry, but I’m here for you. You can take it out on me. I can handle it.”
“I don’t think I’m going to be able to live without her. How do I live without my child?”
We all got up and moved to support Denim. The pain surrounding our family at the moment was the heaviest that it had ever been.
I got a feeling that the only thing that could get us out of this was blood.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
RACE
After the month I was having I couldn’t wait to get back to my hobby but first I had to fix up my new studio inside of the cottage. I dumped some old movie props behind our home.
While emptying the trash I was thinking about my family. Denim was taking Jasmine’s death hard but that was to be expected. What I didn’t see coming was how hard it would come down on me. I cried almost every night and I wasn’t the only one. I heard Scarlett sobbing in the bathroom downstairs and Bambi had been drinking full bottles of vodka everyday and dumping the empty bottles out back in the morning.
After dumping the trash I was about to go back inside until I saw Carey’s pretty face looking at mine. She was dressed in a short chocolate leather jacket and some tight jeans.
I walked up to her because something in me missed her but then I stopped short. Was she here on some murder shit? How did I know she wasn’t responsible for the fire at the mansion? It wasn’t like me and Ramirez didn’t break her heart when we told her it was over and it was believed to have been an inside job. Maybe that was her way to get back at us.
Instead of embracing her I reached under my jacket and grabbed my gun. I slowly pulled it out and aimed in her direction. “How did you know where I live? Huh?”
“Race, I miss—”
I cocked my gun and yelled, “How the fuck did you know where I live, bitch?”
She froze in place. “You brought me here to make love once. You don’t remember? It was right after the drama with the Russians, before Ramirez and them came back. The house was brand new at the time and ever
ything. You didn’t even have furniture.”
I didn’t remember before but I did remember now. I lowered my gun, tucked it behind my jeans and looked over at her. “Why are you here?”
She stepped closer and I stepped back. “I can’t take it anymore, Race. I miss you too much. Can we at least talk?”
“But I told you it was over.”
“I know, but you’ve been my everything for the past couple of years. You don’t just take yourself from a person’s life without a fair fight.”
“There’s nothing to fight about. Ramirez and me are married and we want to work on us. You not a part of that anymore.”
“I understand all that but is it fair to just cut me off as if I don’t matter? I know I’m not a Kennedy but I love you just as hard.”
I looked down at the trashcan because I remembered something about my husband that I never brought up to him. He was acting distant. Although we all took the baby’s death hard I couldn’t justify him isolating me because of the murder. I figured something else was up and now I would get my answers.
“You talked to Ramirez lately?”
“I told you I never reach out to him unless I have an understanding with you first. You guys broke it off with me and I miss you both. But the way to make that work is by coming to you first. So that’s what I’m doing.”
“Has he reached out to you?”
Her eyes moved around rapidly. “Do you really want to know?”
“Yes.”
“He has called. He even showed up at my house but I wouldn’t come outside. I want you. Both of you. Not just him.”
Wow! Ramirez hurt me in a way I never knew was possible. He betrayed me when he didn’t have to. It wasn’t like we didn’t bring Carey into our marriage. And it wasn’t like I didn’t love every minute of her being there. But I was his wife and I felt he should’ve told me first that he wanted her back in our lives.
And when did all this happen anyway? We just suffered a death in our family but he still found the time to reach out to another woman? The worst part about this is that Carey showed more loyalty to me than my own husband did.