“Ha ha,” she laughs. “You’re one to talk. Being told ‘I love you’ on the very first date. Not even a date, really.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s not very natural,” I agree.
“Or maybe it is, and that’s why he said it.”
“Maybe.”
I can’t even hope too hard for it to be true.
It’s probably for the best if he doesn’t mean it. I don’t even know his phone number. And I couldn’t be caught running around with someone who pays for sex.
I’m a political ethics reporter. It would ruin my career right when it’s getting started. It was just one night and that’s all it was supposed to be. We both just got too caught up in the moment.
Didn’t we?
We didn’t really mean it.
Did we?
“Thanks for covering for me, Celeste,” Rachel says. “I really appreciate it. I better get back to Billy. We’ll both figure out all the rest of this later.”
“Of course,” I tell her, although I don’t know how I’ll ever figure my part out.
Why couldn’t we have just left it as one hot, passionate night? I could have collected my money and been done with it, moving on from that experience with the knowledge that the first time I had sex was amazing, but short- lived, as it should have been.
Why did he say he loved me?
And even more importantly, why did I say it back?
Deep down I know it’s because it’s true. Not that I can really love someone right away, of course. But he’s the first person who has had me feeling the beginnings of what I think is love. And it’s so fucking scary that we both had to walk away.
I wonder if we’ll ever see each other again.
And I wonder what will happen to my heart if we don’t.
Chapter 13 – Maxim
ONE WEEK LATER
It’s been one hell of a week. First, my father and I got into a huge fucking fight. He told me he’s disappointed in me— as usual— and that if I don’t stop frequenting The Exchange, he’s cutting me off as a partner to our business venture and from the family trust fund.
Well happy Valentine’s Day to you too, Dad, I wanted to tell him.
Except it doesn’t even matter. It turns out I won’t even be frequenting The Exchange anymore and it has nothing to do with my father.
It has everything to do with the second shitty thing that’s happened this week, or rather, that hasn’t happened. I haven’t been able to get Celeste Sheffield out of my head.
I was such a fucking idiot to tell her I loved her while fucking her. What the hell is wrong with me?
At first, I tried to tell myself I was just caught up in the heat of the moment and meant to say I loved fucking her, not her.
Of course, I don’t love her. I can’t. We just fucking met. And she was my “escort,” to put it nicely. I’m not supposed to fall in love with the hired help.
And yet, there’s something about her that just made me feel different than any other girl I’d been with. She seems into me too. And not just for my money. Everything ended so awkwardly that I didn’t even get to tip her. I still need to do that. I was just hoping I could shake my stupid infatuation for her first, so that things could become business- like between us.
But that hasn’t happened.
Today, I’m at the golf course with my dad, Steven and a client of ours when I get a phone call.
“Hello Mr. Driver, I’m sorry to disturb you when you’re not at the club but I thought there was something you would like to know.”
Bianca’s familiar— and annoying— voice sings into the phone. She must have something good, to be disturbing me on my private number like this.
“What is it, Bianca?” I ask, not sure that I want to know.
If she tells me that Celeste is working there full-time now I am just going to fucking die. I don’t think I could handle that news.
That’s how I know I really do have feelings for her. Usually these encounters are just business transactions for me.
I wouldn’t expect to be the only person that Celeste ever sleeps with just because I was her first. In fact, the old Maxim would tell himself that I showed her such a good time she’s going to rush out to try to re-create it again and again, only to fail because there’s no such thing in comparison to being with me.
But somehow Celeste has changed the old Maxim, by repeating three little words. Suddenly the thought of her being with anyone else drives me insane.
“I assume you had a nice time with the lovely Celeste last week on Valentine’s Day,” she says and I neither confirm nor deny. Knowing Bianca, she’s probably fishing for information. “And I thought you might want to know that she’s coming in today.”
“Is she?” I ask.
Suddenly I feel I’ve made a huge mistake. I never should have let her go. I’m mad at her for working at The Exchange but I also feel partly responsible.
“I’ve gotta go,” I tell Dad.
“What?” he asks. “We’re only on the tenth hole.”
“It’s important,” I tell him.
“You’d better not be going where I think you’re going.”
I’m sick of this. I’m a grown man and can do what I want. If it means losing my fortune to see Celeste one more time, so be it. I at least need to tip her. And perhaps explain my feelings, even though I don’t completely understand them myself.
“I’m not going to be going there any more after today,” I tell him. “But today I need to go.”
Dad sighs, but he doesn’t say anything, for once. I’m waiting for a judgmental comment or a threat to take away money if I disobey him, but no such statements come.
As I hurry off, I have a feeling Dad will grant me tacit if not explicit permission for one more visit to The Exchange despite his misgivings. And one more visit is all I need, to save what I know is worth having between Celeste and me.
Chapter 14 – Celeste
I arrive at The Exchange nearly as flustered as I was last time I was here. I feel as if I’ve barely slept all week.
Instead, I've been continually playing over and over again in my mind everything that happened between Maxim and me, and wishing that things could have ended differently.
The only good thing to come out of the whole experience is that I feel more confident about my sexuality. I know I’m not too slutty or “forward” like Tom had claimed. I just needed a real man to take charge and show me that my sexuality is a good thing.
Not that I plan to use it with anyone else any time soon. My biggest fear is that no one will ever compare to Maxim and I’ll never want to have sex with anyone except him again.
I certainly have been fantasizing about him— I even went and bought a bullet- shaped vibrator like the one he’d used on me, to relive our time together in my mind. It’s not anything like the real thing but it’s as close as I want to try to get for a long time.
I feel a strange bond with Maxim that is probably there any time anyone loses their virginity to someone. But it feels like more to me. It feels like love.
Still, he hasn’t contacted me, and he’s the one with the power to do that, since he knows Rachel and he could easily reach me through her. So, I guess it doesn’t feel like love to him.
Now it’s time to snap back into reality. Because Rachel called me just a bit ago saying she really needs me to bring her little black dress she’d lent me eons ago to The Exchange. It’s a ridiculous request— I have no idea why she needs it— but she told me it was very important and begged me to come.
So here I am, even though I suspect she has something up her sleeve. As long as she doesn’t want me to fill in for her again, I’ll be happy.
There's no way I'm standing up on that stage and being auctioned off, ever again. Even if I had originally been into the idea— which I hadn't been, or at least not very much— now it would be a completely different experience. I've already been claimed by Maxim and no one else can compare.
The securi
ty guard must think I’m here to work again because he ushers me to the same curtained- off backstage room I started out in last week. I look around and Rachel isn’t in here, but Bianca is.
She’s chatting to some girl in the corner— that poor girl. I don’t think Bianca sees me and I don’t want her to. I quickly duck out and go look for Rachel in the main room, where the auctions are held.
She’s not in here, either, but I stop dead in my tracks when I see who is.
Maxim.
He’s standing in the back, looking around just as I had been.
Is he here to bid on a girl?
My stomach drops. I guess what we had meant nothing to him. How silly of me to think otherwise. All because of some meaningless words he said in the heat of the moment.
But when he sees me, he looks really happy. A grin spreads across his entire handsome face, causing his chiseled cheekbones to appear to raise up even higher. He rushes over to me and I know that he is feeling at least something along the same lines as what I’m feeling.
“Celeste,” he says, taking me in his arms. “I was looking for you.”
Then his grin turns sheepish, as if he’s waiting for me to say the same. So, I do.
“I was looking for you, too,” I tell him. “I mean, not exactly right now because I didn’t know you’d be here. I came to see Rachel.”
But I’m always looking for you, I want to add.
Part of me was hoping I would see him here, even though another part was afraid it would obviously mean he was doing to other girls what he had done to me. And I don’t know if I could bear knowing that. But at least it would mean getting to see him again.
I didn’t expect him to be here looking for me. I have no idea what’s going on.
As if on cue, Rachel rushes up to us. She’s wearing jeans and a blouse, rather than the elegant evening dress she should be wearing on stage if she’s working. I suppose that might be why she asked me to bring this little black dress I’m carrying.
“There you guys are,” she says.
“Here we are?” I ask her. “Here you are.”
“Oh yeah, sorry I’m late.”
Leave it to Rachel to be late for a meeting that she herself called. Even though the meeting was supposed to happen at the place she claimed to be when she called me.
“What’s going on?” Maxim asks.
“I have no idea,” I reply.
It appears that we’re equally confused.
“Maxim, I’m glad you’re here because I couldn’t even get a hold of you,” Rachel says. “That’s why I’m late. I was outside trying to call you.”
“Well I’m here,” he answers, confused.
And now I’m confused. If he isn’t here for the same reason I am— because Rachel called me and told me to come— then what is he doing here? Don’t tell me he’s going to buy another girl…
“I’m here because Bianca called me,” he says, quickly, as if to ease the fear starting to well up inside me again.
“Bianca?” Rachel and I both say, obviously equally as confused.
Now as if someone cued her, Bianca approaches us.
“Oh, there you all are,” she says. “What a lovely little reunion we have going on tonight at The Exchange.”
We just stare at her, each of us barely even blinking.
“When I heard Rachel call Celeste right after she got here, before changing into her evening gown or anything— Rachel, you really shouldn’t be out here in street clothes—” she pauses to scold, “—I just had to put an end to all of this. For Terri’s sake. And everyone’s really.”
“Yeah, right,” Rachel laughs. “For your sake, you mean. I know you’ve had a crush on Maxim for years now. You confided as much to me when I first started working here.”
“I did no such thing,” Bianca’s cheeks redden. “It was you who said you had a crush on Maxim, and quite a few other patrons of our fine establishment, if I remember correctly—”
“That’s crazy,” Rachel says. “All I ever said are that some of them are younger and better looking than I had originally imagined.”
“Well thank you,” Maxim says, and I can’t help but laugh.
The whole picture is coming together now that I know that Bianca wanted my man.
My man.
My cheeks burn with embarrassment for having thought that, but then I realize I didn’t say it out loud. No one knows how much I wish he was actually my man.
“You took that and ran with it, turned it into what you wanted it to be,” Rachel tells Bianca. “And you’ve made a crazy competition out of it ever since. Now the joke’s on you, because it turns out Maxim doesn’t want either one of us. Which is fine with me, since I’m spoken for. And because he’s obviously ga ga over my best friend Celeste here.”
Bianca looks like she’s going to melt. But I’m paying more attention to the way that Rachel looks when she says that she’s spoken for. She seems more confident and sure of herself than before.
“Did Billy propose?” I guess.
“It doesn’t matter what Maxim wants,” Bianca interrupts, clearly not caring whether Rachel’s boyfriend proposed nor about how rude she’s being. “What matters is the good of the club. I called Maxim here so that I could tell him— and you two— to make your choice. If he is going to be carrying on with Celeste then he can’t be involved in the club. And neither of you can work here.”
She glares particularly cruelly at Rachel when she says this.
“What?” I explode. “Rachel had nothing to do with any of this. I don’t want to work here. But she shouldn’t be penalized because Maxim is seeing someone. If he’s seeing someone.”
I hastily correct myself, and he squeezes my shoulders for reassurance.
Okay good. We are seeing each other. Whatever that means.
I feel over the moon, even though I’m annoyed at Bianca and concerned about Rachel’s job. Apparently I still have a lot to figure out.
Chapter 15 – Celeste
“Don’t worry about it,” Rachel tells Bianca. “I came here to say I’m quitting. That’s why I didn’t change out of my clothes. And I needed to talk to Celeste before I quit.”
“You are?” I say. “So, Billy did propose? I’m so happy for you!”
“No,” Rachel says. “But he’s been dropping hints. I know he will soon. And I decided you’re right. I shouldn’t work here anymore, even if Billy doesn’t care. I have bigger and better things in life to look forward to.”
I hadn’t actually told her that. I had just told her to be honest with him or quit, or preferably both. But I know she’s rubbing it into Bianca. And I know Rachel doesn’t want Bianca to know that Billy still doesn’t know she works here.
So, I just hug her and say “Congratulations on this decision, Rachel. I’m so proud of you.”
“I was also going to tell you that you should do what you can to lock down what you think you might have with Maxim here,” she tells me, returning my hug. “You should chase love and happiness like you’ve encouraged me to do. If you think you might really love each other, it could be real thing. So just try. But I see you two already started doing that without my encouragement.”
Maxim and I both laugh.
“On that note,” says Maxim. “I’m going to need to use the Enclave. Please let Terri know.”
“What for?” says Bianca, annoyed. “And when?”
“Right now,” Maxim says. “I have some unfinished business with my girlfriend here.”
He winks at me.
“If you want to be my girlfriend, of course?” he asks.
“Of course,” I tell him, and Rachel says, “Yay, I’m so happy for you kids.”
Only she could call a grown man a “kid” and look cute while doing it.
“But I’ve got to jet,” she continues. “Billy is taking me to another dinner tonight. And I think I really might get that proposal this time. That’s why I need the dress.”
“Good luck,” I tell her, ha
nding her the dress. “And thanks for asking me to fill in for you.”
I squeeze Maxim’s hand.
I can’t believe he’s my boyfriend.
This solves everything. No one will have to know I worked here, because I only “worked” for the man who is my boyfriend. I won’t get in any trouble with my actual job.
And Rachel’s flying the coop as well. Not to mention, of course, that I can finally proclaim my true love for Maxim— again, for real this time— without feeling like an idiot.
“Bet you never thought you’d be thanking me for that,” Rachel says with a wink.
“You’re right, as usual,” I answer, as she practically floats away.
I’m so happy for her. I know she’ll get the happy ending she deserves, just like I am.
“Seriously, Maxim,” Bianca says, shaking her head. “You can’t just use the Enclave to meet with your personal… date…”— I can tell the word ‘girlfriend’ pains her too much to say— “whenever you want. It costs money you know. And it’s bad for business. What will the other patrons or workers think? I don’t know if Terri will even let you.”
“Oh, I’m sure she will,” Maxim says. “I’ve been a paying customer for years and this will be my last rendezvous at The Exchange. Unless Celeste gets a strange itch to relive our beginnings, of course.”
I laugh.
“I’m willing to pay for it, of course,” Maxim tells Bianca. “Just name your price. I’ve already paid a million dollars for her. And she’s worth every penny and then some.”
Bianca’s lips pucker up as if she just ate something sour. Or more accurately, as if she’s about to cry.
I’m sure that Maxim added that last part just to get this reaction from her. But I still like that he said it, no matter the reason.
“Fine,” Bianca says, turning and storming off, probably to avoid crying in front of us. “I’m sure you’re welcome to get started, since you’ve always been Terri’s favorite.”
“Well, my Dear,” Maxim says, as I take his arm just like I did a week ago and he leads me to the private room.
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