“It's not the most comfortable of places,” Manyr said. “But it keeps everybody safe. And that's probably the most important thing.”
“Thank you,” I was finally able to croak out as I looked her in the eye. “Thank you for saving them. For keeping them safe.”
She gave me a small smile. “That's what we do,” she said. “Now go, they're waiting for you.”
Manyr walked away, presumably heading back toward the main cavern. I stood outside the doorway and looked at Hatare, my thoughts and emotions spinning wildly out of control. She took both of my hands in hers and looked at me.
“Go in there,” she said. “I'm sure they can't wait to see you as much as you can't wait to see them. You have much to catch up on.”
I gave her a small, weak smile. I had no idea why I was hesitating or what was holding me back. Perhaps, I was afraid that they would blame me for Gravus and his soldiers taking them in the first place. Perhaps, they would blame me for not being there to protect them.
Hatare squeezed my hands harder. “Byr, there is nothing to be afraid of. Your family loves you and seeing you alive and standing there in front of them is going to make them happier than you even know.”
She was right, of course. But I was still afraid. Afraid that they would blame me for having to live in a cave with a bunch of strangers. But Hatare wasn't going to let me stand out there dithering any longer. Tightening her grip on my hand, she pulled me into the cavern.
Chapter Six
In all, there were probably twenty or twenty-five people in the cavern. Large lights had been set up in the corners, bathing the area in a soft, yet bright light. Tarps had been used to section off areas, making “rooms” within the cavern, giving the people inhabiting them some semblance of privacy.
Voices and laughter echoed off of the stone walls as we walked through the cavern and all eyes turned to us as we passed. The people I saw were clean, appeared to be well fed and well cared for. It wasn't what I'd expected to see from a group of people hiding in a cave.
“Byr?” a small voice squeaked.
I turned and saw Gynta standing there, a look of utter shock on her face. Hopa stood beside her, his face no less surprised.
“Byr,” Hopa said. “Is that really you?”
The pair of them looked bigger than I remembered. Taller. More grown up. Or perhaps, I was just imagining it. Hatare looked at me standing there, rooted to my spot and nudged me with her elbow.
“Go to them,” she whispered.
I took a step forward, a broad smile crossing my face. But a step was all I got before the two of them launched themselves at me, throwing their little arms around my waist and holding on to me tightly. They both looked up at me, their smiles wide, their eyes wet with tears.
“I was afraid we'd never see you again,” Gynta said.
“I was afraid you'd died,” Hopa said.
I pulled myself out of their grasp and knelt down so I was eye-level with them. Tears rolled down their smooth cheeks and I wiped them away before ruffling their hair. I bit back the emotions that were threatening to take control of me and tried to keep the tears suddenly welling in my eyes from falling.
“Well, I didn't die,” I said. “I'm right here, as alive as either of you. And I am so glad to see you two. I've missed you so much.”
They both threw their arms around my neck and squeezed me so tight, I was afraid I wasn't going to be able to breath.
“We've missed you too,” Gynta said.
After a few moments, I stood up again, but kept the kids close to my side. I looked into their little living area and saw my mother sitting up on her bed staring at me. Tears rolled down her face and her smile was small, soft. She looked as if she couldn't believe what she was seeing.
Extricating myself from the little ones, I stepped toward her and dropped down onto my knees, taking her hands in mine.
“I'm so glad to see you alive,” I said. “When I got back to the village, I was – ”
“It was terrible,” she said. “I was afraid that was going to be it for me. But more than anything, I was scared for you, Byr. I didn't know what happened to you.”
I gently pulled her into an embrace, taking care to not squeeze her too tightly. Her disease made her body ache and the last thing I wanted to do was cause her pain.
“It's a really long story,” I said. “Maybe one day I'll tell you. But more importantly, how are you feeling, mother?”
“Actually, I feel better than I have in a long, long time,” she said. “They are taking wonderful care of us here. The doctors have given me medicine that takes away a lot of my pain.”
I nodded and looked her over, having a hard time believing what I was seeing. She actually looked a lot healthier than the last time I'd seen her. She had color in her face and her eyes had somehow regained that life and sparkle I remembered from my own childhood.
But then, in the village, she'd had no choice but to suffer through her disease. I was happy to hear that she was being treated by actual doctors.
“So, that's the girl I've heard so much about,” my mother said, a small grin on her face.
I felt the color rising in my face. “Her name is Hatare,” I said softly.
Gynta and Hopa were sitting on the ground outside the room with Hatare, who appeared to be entertaining them with stories. They all laughed together and for the first time in a long time, I saw my brother and sister smiling. Real, genuine smiles. It made my heart as happy as seeing my mother looking better.
My mother nodded. “You two are quite the story,” she said. “Defying the Ministry, escaping to Optorio, killing some of the government's most elite soldiers – and finding love that shatters the Unduthian societal norms along the way. It's definitely, quite the tale.”
I grinned at her. “I'm afraid some of the particulars have been blown out of proportion,” I said. “Not by our doing.”
She nodded. “I know,” she replied. “I can smell a good propaganda story when I hear one. But, unlike some, this one is for the right reasons.”
My mother had been sick for so long that I'd forgotten that she and my father used to be highly political. They attended meetings and rallies where forming a resistance to the Ministry was discussed openly. My mother and father believed in equality for all. Always had.
But then he'd died and she'd fallen ill – and those ideals just no longer seemed as relevant as trying to survive.
“She's a beautiful young woman,” my mother said. “And I can tell by the way she looks at you that she's in love with you. Just as I can tell by the look in your eyes that the feeling is mutual.”
A small smile touched my lips. I could never get anything by my mother. She had always been as intelligent as she was observant – a deadly combination for a child trying to pull one over on her.
“She's remarkable,” I said. “Amazing. I've never met somebody like her. I never thought I would, actually.”
“And if you two hadn't started changing things in Unduth, maybe you wouldn't have,” my mother said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that the two of you started something,” she said. “And I hope you'll see it through.”
Chapter Seven
Hatare
At Byr's urging – and with the promise that he'd see them again soon – the kids had run off to play with a few friends they'd made in the shelter. I sat on a chair next to Byr, and we were facing his mother.
“My name is Loya,” she said. “And you are Hatare. It's nice to meet you.”
“It's very nice to meet you as well,” I replied. “Byr has told me much about you.”
I was a little nervous as she looked me up and down. I felt as if she were taking my measure and judging my worthiness of her son's affections. Having grown up in a family – and society – where nothing mattered but the amount of status and prestige you brought to a relationship, it was a unique experience for me. And more than a little bit unnerving.
“I
am glad to see you're well,” I said. “Byr has told me about your – illness. But I'm glad to see that you appear to be on the mend.”
She smiled at me. “It's okay, child,” she said. “I've already accepted the inevitability that I'm going to die because of this disease. Nothing to be done about it. And no use trying to soften it.”
I gave her a small smile. Acknowledging such a thing went against everything in me – or at least, the training and conditioning I'd received throughout my life. A proper Unduthian woman never made mention of the negative, and only tried to see – as well as enhance – the positive.
But I was nervous sitting there in front of Byr's mother, and when I was nervous, I apparently tended to fall back on old, bad habits.
“I fear you're going to be fighting those impulses for the rest of your life,” his mother said, giving me a soft, gentle smile. “What they put you girls through is unconscionable.”
Byr looked over at me, a sympathetic expression on his face. He sort of knew what I'd gone through – only because I'd explained some of it to him. And while he was always concerned and sympathetic, I also knew that he'd never fully understand the way we were shaped and molded from a very young age by our families.
And maybe because she was a woman, his mother seemed to grasp the emotional impact of an Unduthian woman's “programming” better than he could. Not that it was a knock on him, it was just – different.
“Thankfully, I'm free of that now,” I said. “And fortunately, I have the love of a good man.”
I squeezed Byr's hand and gave him a shy smile. Having admitted my feelings in front of his mother, I was suddenly feeling vulnerable and exposed. But his mother reached out and squeezed my other hand, giving me a smile that looked – approving.
“Byr is a good man,” she said. “But I think that in this case, maybe the both of you are fortunate to have found each other. Especially in such a difficult time.”
I nodded. I could agree with that.
“I want my son to be happy – and your happiness is important to him, which makes it important to me as well,” she said. “But I fear there are going to be trying days ahead.”
I nodded. “That seems to be certain.”
“What are you two going to do about that?” Loya asked.
I looked over at Byr who gave me a small shrug. “We're still deciding about that, mother.”
“What is there to decide?”
“Whether or not we want to be part of this war,” I said.
Her smile was small. “You're already a part of it.”
“We've heard that we've been turned into propaganda pieces by Yurat and the rebels,” I said.
Loya shrugged. “I've heard a few stories of your heroic deeds,” she said. “And that's all they are. Stories. But they serve a bigger and better purpose.”
“How is that any different from what the Ministry does?” I asked. “Telling lies to manipulate the people?”
“You can't think of it in terms like that, dear,” she said. “On the surface, you're right. It's manipulation. However, it's not so black and white as that. I've been talking to plenty of people since I've been here and from what I understand, this rebellion is hanging on by a thread. The dream of a free Unduth, a world where we have freedom and equality is balanced on a knife's edge.
But you two – with what you've done, you've inspired the people. You've brought more people to the cause than you know. It's infused the rebellion with a life and energy that was sorely needed. Without it, the rebellion might have come to an end. And Unduth would go on as it always has.
So while yes, Yurat and the others may have exaggerated certain events, it wasn't malicious or to get people to support something evil. It was to bring people together. To fight for a better world for all of us.”
Byr smiled. “I take it you're of the opinion that we should fight.”
“I'm in no position to tell you what you should do, sweetheart,” she said. “All I know is that if I were able, I'd most certainly be out there. But my life is not your life. You are free to make your own decisions. But what are your alternatives?”
“We could leave Unduth,” I said. “Maybe go back to Optorio. Maybe somewhere else.”
She nodded. “That's always an alternative, of course.”
“Would you come with us, mother?” Byr asked. “If we decided to leave Unduth.”
Her smile was one of regret. “No,” she said. “I may not be able to fight, but I can still do some things. And I vowed to help Yurat any way I could.”
I was surprised that Byr's mother was such a – radical. But perhaps I shouldn't have been. He'd told me that when she was younger – and healthier – she'd been a woman of strong opinions and convictions. One who wasn't afraid to speak her mind. It was something I could admire and made me like Byr's mother quite a lot.
I just didn't know if we could – or should – follow in her footsteps.
Chapter Eight
After spending another hour with Loya and the kids, it was time to say goodbye. And I could tell that Byr was having a hard time with it. He'd only just gotten them back and now he had to leave them all over again. It was especially tough for him, not knowing what the future held – for any of us.
I watched him hug his mother and siblings, clinging to them tightly, and promising that he would see them again soon. It was a promise I hoped more than anything, we would be able to keep. In the short time I'd been with them, I'd come to like his family a great deal. His mother was a straight shooter and somebody I could absolutely respect. And his siblings were beyond adorable. How could I not like them all?
We sat in the back of the transport, on our way back to the camp and I could see that leaving them was weighing heavily upon him. But he also had a small grin and lightness of spirit he didn't have before. Seeing his family had done wonders for his soul – which was probably Yurat's intent behind arranging the get-together.
“Your mother looks well,” I said.
He nodded. “Better than I've seen her in a long time.”
He pulled me close and wrapped his arm around me. I leaned my head against his shoulder and let myself enjoy being so close to him. Byr was an amazing man and I felt lucky to have found him. He kissed the top of my head and we rode the rest of the way back to camp in a comfortable, companionable silence.
I hadn't realized I'd drifted off until Byr was shaking me awake. When I opened my eyes, I found him smiling down at me.
“Enjoy your nap?” he asked.
“Apparently, so.”
The rear ramp of the transport lowered and we stood, walking down the ramp. Manyr was standing there with a small smile on her face.
“Thank you,” Byr said. “I – just – thank you.”
She nodded and looked at him. “You're welcome,” she said. “It was about time you got to see them.”
“I'm really grateful that you've given them such good care,” he said. “I don't think that's a debt I can ever repay.”
“There's nothing to repay,” she said. “We're trying to take care of our people. That includes your family.”
There was a sincerity in Manyr's voice that told me she wasn't just giving us the standard join our rebellion recruiting pitch. She genuinely believed in caring for all of Unduth's people. She was obviously in this for all the right reasons – reasons that I was in full agreement with.
Of course, I had to recognize that my hesitation was born of selfishness. Not only did I not want to die, I didn't want to lose Byr in the fighting either. We'd overcome tremendous odds to find one another in the first place. And all I wanted was to build a life with him.
Was that so wrong?
Of course it wasn't wrong. But perhaps, asking others to sacrifice, to give their lives, so that I could build my life with Byr – and contribute nothing to the cause – was wrong. If the revolution was successful, and they brought down the Ministry, how would I be able to look at myself and know that I was living beneath a blanket of
freedom and did nothing to help? How could I allow myself to reap all the benefits but make none of the sacrifice?
“So, listen,” Manyr said. “We have a raid tomorrow. It's a pretty important mission and Yurat wanted me to ask you to come along. No pressure, but we'd love to have you by our side if you want to be there.”
“What time are you pulling out?” Byr asked.
“We leave before dawn.”
I nodded. Clearly, Byr and I had much to talk about. “Okay, we'll give it some thought,” I said.
“That's all we can ask,” Manyr said before turning and walking away.
Hand-in-hand, Byr and I walked back to our quarters. It was a moderately sized room that had the basics, but not much else. There was a bed that was functional, a desk, a dresser, and a private bathroom – for that, I was thankful at least. There wasn't much in the way of decoration, and it was all very sterile. But then, I had to continue reminding myself that this was a military installation, not a holiday resort.
The door slid closed behind us and Byr pushed the button that locked it, giving us some privacy. I walked over, sat down on top of the desk, and looked over at him.
“So, what do you think?” I asked. “Did you want to go on tomorrow's mission?”
He looked away and wouldn't meet my eyes. “I'm not sure yet.”
I let out a small, soft laugh. “Oh really? Because I tend to think that you've been sure for a little while now.”
He walked over and stood in front of me, pulling me into a tight embrace. “I'm not sure what to do here, Hatare,” he said. “Unduth is my home. Our home. It feels right to fight for it. To tear out the bad things and replace it with something better.”
I didn't disagree with what he'd said. Not at all. I was simply – scared. Scared of losing him. Of losing the life I'd dreamed of building with him.
“You're right,” I said. “We should be willing to fight for our world. I just – I don't – ”
He cocked his head and looked at me. “What is it?”
“I know it's selfish,” I said. “I just don't want to lose you. Part of me wants to pick up and run somewhere far away from here where there is no war and there is no danger. Somewhere we can be safe.”
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