Calder’s jaw flexes but instead of responding, he reaches out with his left hand and lightly runs the pads of his fingers over my thumb and along my index finger. When Exile’s ballad ”I Want to Kiss You All Over” starts playing on his phone, my hand instinctively reacts to the song’s slow seductive lyrics and Calder’s light touch. Calder’s love of old songs makes him even more attractive and I turn my palm toward him, needing to feel more of his touch. His breathing halts just before he touches the tips of his fingers to mine.
The electricity is instantaneous the moment our skin connects. My breath hitches and I tingle everywhere, but especially where he’s touching me. “What about now?” he demands ruthlessly.
I’m afraid to look into his eyes and see judgment there, so I drop my gaze to our hands. Big mistake. At that moment, he slides the tips of his fingers between mine and then slowly glides them upward. My skin prickles when the base of our fingers lock together. “Perfect fit,” he murmurs and folds his thumb around mine, pulling my hand close to his.
Desire slams into my stomach and my mind is filled with memories of the first sensual moment our bodies physically connected the other night. His simulation with our hands is masterfully brutal, hitting me in the most intimate way possible. “Does this feel tame, angel?” he asks, his voice dropping to a husky timbre.
Only Calder could turn hand holding into a carnal act. I refuse to look at him or acknowledge what he’s doing. Ben has never touched me like this…certainly not with the kind of heat that would melt an icecap. Calder’s barely touching me, but the connection and the angry passion in his tone is so provocative, I have to hold myself still to keep from melting against him.
Lowering his hand from the door, he brushes the tips of his fingers along the base of my spine. His touch is barely there, but the warmth from his hand feels as if my terry robe is made of tissue. I swallow the gasp of surprise when sudden heat radiates from my head to my toes.
“What? No answer?” He leans close, his warm breath caressing my ear just before he presses a feather light kiss to my cheekbone. “How about now, Raven mine?”
I’m soaking up every sensation and the want in his voice, but I do my best to hold any audible responses inside. I don’t want him to know how much this is affecting me. I feel like I’m vibrating with suppressed lust. God, this is hard, but knowing he’s doing this just to prove a point is the only thing keeping me from giving into his seduction.
Calder slides his thumb along the heel of my hand, then down to the center of my palm. Moving his mouth close to my jawline, he presses his finger deep into my skin, hitting all the right sensual points.
Without conscious thought, I angle my chin, giving him better access. Accepting the fantasy, I hold my breath and wait for him to clamp down along my jawline.
To claim me all over again.
Instead of the bite I expect, Calder tugs me against his chest, his other hand sliding down the curve of my back to pull me forward until I’m thoroughly tucked against him. Pressing his erection intimately against me, he slowly turns us to the seductive song. With the warmth of his body seeping into me, I can’t keep myself completely detached. I melt into his hard frame and fall into the rhythm of his movements as if we’ve always danced like this.
“When I dance with you…” He sounds both aroused and tortured, his chest rumbling against mine. “Our bodies move in sync naturally. Chest, hips, thighs.” He slides his muscular thigh between mine, hitting my sex briefly as we turn. My body throbs and I bite my lip. I want him to connect again but this time hard enough to ease the sexual tension. Pulling me close, he husks against my temple. “This is sex with clothes on, Cass.”
He instantly stops dancing, his voice dropping to a harsh grate as he releases me. “You smell like him. To be clear, watching another man do this with you is not something I will ever tolerate again. And knowing you didn’t have any underwear on only infuriated me more, I don’t give a fuck if it’s because you refused to wear Celeste’s.”
I never would’ve teased Calder if I had known I would end up dancing with Ben later. I didn’t even know that was part of the evening event. “You’re the only one who knew that,” I say, my face flushing. “And we didn’t dance like this.”
His eyes narrow. “While you danced to that slow song, the way he looked at you, his hand pulling you closer…that was not innocent.”
I see his point, but I wasn’t the only one getting attention tonight. Stepping close, I push my thigh through the slit in my robe and brush my knee against his. Once he glances down at the show of bare skin, I glide my right hand into his hair and trail my fingers over his ear, then down the back of his hair. Clasping his neck in perfect mimicry of the unknown girl I saw him talking with at the hotel, I ask, “Do you think this is innocent?”
Calder frowns, wariness flickering his gaze. “What do you mean?”
“I saw you talking to someone at the hotel.”
He stiffens. “Alana is just a friend I’ve known for a while.”
I don’t like his answer. A part of me hoped Calder would quash my worries and tell me I was imagining an intimate familiarity between him and the mystery girl. My eyebrows pull together. “So what makes this innocent is how well you know the person?
He stares at me for a second, then nods. “Yes.”
I take a step back and spread my hands wide. “Then I guess that means Ben and I are good on the innocent front, because I know more about him than I do you.”
His expression hardens and he folds his arms. “I’m going to assume you’re not talking about sex. To be clear…sharing is a two-way street, angel. This isn’t a game. You don’t truly know him.”
I don’t like that he’s right, but there is one truth I do know. “I know what Ben is not, which goes a long way. Trust me on this.”
I walk away then, my back ramrod straight. Just as I reach the door, Calder says, “He wants you.”
I pause, but don’t look back. “He wants Celeste.”
“He wants the you he sees in Celeste. He’s going to push for more.”
Does Ben really want me? I hadn’t even considered the possibility. I was just happy that Celeste would have someone in her life who genuinely seemed to care about her. If I didn’t know anything else about her, I learned she really didn’t have anyone she was close to in her life.
I sense Calder directly behind me now, but I don’t acknowledge that he’s moved closer. Instead, I pull the door open. There’s no way I’m telling him about Ben drawing slow circles in the center of my palm with his thumb during the last few minutes in the car. If what Calder just did to my hand was erotic foreplay, then Ben definitely has sex on the brain. Even though Calder’s touch is the only one that arouses me, sharing that tidbit from tonight would not go over well. “I’ve got control over it, Calder.”
When I start to walk out, he says, “Someone else knows you’re not Celeste. The fact they aren’t sounding the alarm about that speaks volumes about Celeste and the danger you’re in.”
I glance back at him, my heart stuttering. “How do you know that note wasn’t related to something else or even meant for Gregory?”
“My gut…and because the only fingerprints on it were yours and Ben’s.”
“You already had the card analyzed?” I blink my surprise. “But you were with me the whole time.”
“Alana delivered the card to Elijah for me.”
“How generous of her.” I don’t bother to keep the sarcasm out of my response, but at least I know Sebastian’s BLACK Securities team isn’t beyond doing whatever it takes—even hacking government databases for fingerprint data—to keep me safe.
Calder’s gaze sharpens. “This isn’t just about Celeste anymore. Don’t go anywhere without me. You can’t afford to be wrong about anyone, including Ben.”
He made his point, but I refuse to argue about Ben. “You’ll always know where I am. Good night, Calder.”
The sensation of someone’s hand covering m
y mouth pulls me awake to total darkness. A shadowy male form hovers over me, and Calder’s last comment warning me to be careful repeats over and over in my head as I scream and try to back away. He sits on the bed and clamps his hand tighter on my mouth, then leans close to my ear.
“Shhh, it’s me.”
Calder. My heart still pounding insanely fast, my eyes adjust to the bit of light coming from the bathroom and Calder’s features start to form in the darkness. I instantly relax and pull his hand from my mouth to my chest, whispering, “How did you get in here? I locked my door.”
He turns his chin back toward the bathroom. “Through the passageway you showed me.”
I blink in the darkness, glad my pulse is starting to return to normal. “What is it? Is something wrong?”
Holding my gaze, Calder slides his thumb along my skin exposed by the T-shirt’s vee-neck. “Yes, something is wrong. We’re broken, Cass. And I refuse to let this situation we’re in ruin what we have.”
I inhale slowly and fold my fingers around his hand. “We’re fine, Calder.”
“Liar,” he says, his gaze narrowing. “You’ve pulled further and further away from me since I got here.”
“I’m just trying to stay focused.” I don’t want to get into it now. I honestly don’t think we can get back to us in the current situation. Too many secrets and past issues keep creeping up for both of us.
Calder turns his hand and clasps my wrist. When he runs his thumb along the scars, I pull away from his hold.
He doesn’t speak, just recaptures my hand, but instead of touching my wrist, he presses my palm against his Solus tattoo.
“Do you want to know about this?”
He’s trying to share. Hope filling my heart, I swallow and nod.
Calder quickly tugs me toward him and lifts me in his arms.
“Where are we going?” I ask, wrapping my arms around his muscular shoulders.
“You’re going to wash the smell of him off you first. It’s fucking playing with my head.” Setting me down in the bathroom, he flicks on the shower, then pulls my long T-shirt off in one swift movement.
He grunts when he sees that I’m underwear free—I’m sure he’s still pissed about earlier tonight—but I’m surprised when he doesn’t join me under the hot spray. Instead he leans a muscular shoulder against the wall and folds his arms, commanding, “Shower, then we’ll talk.”
I don’t like that he’s ordering me around in the middle of the night, but this is the first time he’s offered to share something of himself. In his own gruff way, he’s trying, so I won’t question his timing or methods. As I slide the bar of soap along my skin, I note the tension in his jaw and inwardly squirm at the hungry way he watches my hands. I want to pull him into the shower and make him wash me, then I could run my hands along the shadow of his overnight beard. That darkness only adds to his irresistible sexiness. I would spend tons of time soaping his beautifully sculpted body. In comparison, I feel inferior, so I take extra time soaping my breasts, my stomach and between my thighs to keep his gaze distracted from my flaws.
When I pour shampoo in my hand, then start to massage the liquid into my scalp, Calder reaches down to adjust himself. Excitement slides through my veins, but I pretend I don’t notice and work the suds into my hair.
I know he’s watching the foamy bubbles slide down my chest, along the curves of my breasts and hips before funneling through the bit of dark hair between my legs. Even though he’s standing a couple feet away, I feel the magnetic pull of desire smoldering between us. Closing my eyes, I let the pounding water wash away the last remnants of suds and fantasize what it would feel like with him in here with me.
The sensation of Calder’s fingers sliding down my throat along with the water feels so real, I give into the sensual moment and hold myself perfectly still, just being in the moment. But when his fingers move with the water to my collarbone, and then slowly trail down my chest and along the curve of my breast, I’m thankful the shower is washing away the tears that well up. I love that he can’t stop himself from touching me.
When the water suddenly shuts off, my eyes fly open.
Calder’s holding a towel out for me, heat and want reflected in his gaze.
I wring my hair out and quickly wrap the towel around me. Just as I tuck the end between my breasts, Calder fists his hand around the knot in the towel and pulls me out of the shower.
Setting me against the wall next to the shower, he slides his hand up my chest. Tracing his finger along my collarbone, he pauses to slide his thumb up the curve of my throat. “When he moves close like this, do you want him to touch you?”
I sigh. Why won’t he let the Ben thing go. “Calder…what are you doing?”
“I’m getting to know you much better.”
I frown. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
Grunting, he clasps my hand and folds it against his ribcage. Vulnerability shines in his green gaze for a split second before it’s masked behind a hard stare. “Did you ask him if he has any tattoos?”
I slide my thumb over his Solus tattoo and answer honestly. “I only want to know about yours. You said it means ‘alone,’ but I know there’s a lot more to it than that.”
Calder tugs on the end of the towel and as it falls to the floor, my skin prickles at the chill hitting me. I raise an eyebrow. “That’s not an answer.”
His only response is to pull my hair forward and stare at it lying against my chest. As he traces the water dripping from the damp ends along the outer curve of my breast, my gaze locks on his dog tags. The memory of how creative he’d been with them and my responses makes my cheeks flush with heat. When he touches me, I forget all my inhibitions. “You said you’d tell me.”
More water falls, but this time the trickle slides along the front of my breast. When it drips off my nipple, Calder exhales through his nose, his hands moving to grip my hips. “I will, Cass, but right now this is what I need,” he rumbles before he dips his head and touches his tongue to my nipple.
As the water transfers from the puckered pink tip to his tongue and his warm breath rushes over my chilled skin in a low growl of want, I exhale a pant of aroused anticipation.
“Tell me you’re still mine,” he rasps, fingers flexing along my hips.
I bite my bottom lip and dig my fingers into his short hair, giving him his answer.
Calder doesn’t hesitate. He grasps my waist and sucks my nipple deep. I can’t believe how his aggressive possession of such a small part of me can tug so hard on every yearning in my body. My heart races and insides tighten. As he moves to the other breast and gives it the same velvety savage attention, my skin heats and my sex throbs.
He straightens and meets my gaze, skillful fingers sliding down my belly. “Every time he touched you, I wanted to break his fucking neck.”
When he folds his fingers along my entrance, his gaze narrows sharply. “You’re already dripping.”
I quickly shake my head. “I never said I didn’t want you. I just—” I gasp and grip his biceps when he slowly dips a finger inside me.
Calder closes his eyes and inhales harshly. Then his green eyes snap to mine. “You are mine,” he growls and adds another finger, sliding them deep inside my channel.
Stepping close, he cups the back of my neck and rasps against my cheekbone, “You can’t ignore this kind of chemistry, angel.” He strokes his thumb against the sensitive spot where my leg meets my body. “The feel of you soaking my hand and clenching around me is so goddamn arousing and intense.” Folding the heel of his hand around my mons, he presses his chest against my shoulder and rests his forehead on the wall. “The way you taste haunts me, and all I’ve thought about since you left my bed is how much I want to fuck you in every way possible until the only words out of your mouth are, ‘More, please.’”
I’m shaking and can barely hold myself up. “Calder—”
“No more holding back.” His hand tightens on my body and his entire
frame tenses. Exhaling deeply, his rough tone softens. “When two people connect the way we do…we fucking own each other, Cass.”
My heart melts and I turn so my cheek touches his jaw. “More, please.”
Calder’s head jerks up and his green eyes meet mine for a split second before he withdraws his hand from my body. “Lay down, angel.”
I glance down at the towel over the thick rug. “Here?”
He turns and hits the light switch, dousing the room in darkness. When he flicks another switch and a fire leaps to life in the dual-sided fireplace, I love the warm glowing light reflected in the room and lower myself onto the rug.
As soon as I lay back, Calder crawls over me, warm skin stretched over hard muscles and unadulterated hunger reflected in his gaze. “Lay still and don’t move. Think you can do that?” he says, his voice silk and steel.
While he seeks my agreement, his necklace swings between us, ticking off our intense rhythm of desire like a metronome. I clasp the dog tags, hoping to freeze this moment in time. “I want you to share with me, Calder.” Sliding my fingers along his Solus tattoo, I continue, “To truly share. Think you can do that?”
He pulls my hands above my head. As he trails his fingers up my arms and toward my wrists, it takes major effort not to yank my hands away. He holds my gaze and slowly runs his thumbs over my scars. “Only if you do, sweet Raven.”
“That wasn’t the deal,” I say, my heart sinking at the idea of revealing my past.
Calder slides his fingers along my palms, then clasps his hands to mine in a tight hold. “A two-way street, remember?”
His expression is so intensely sincere, I nod, hoping I’ll find the courage to tell him.
He smiles and dips his head to press a kiss to my shoulder. Releasing my hands, he moves lower and nips at the curve of my breast, his breath warming and arousing me at the same time. I flex my stomach when he reaches my bellybutton and lingers. “When I got home after leaving the military, I received a letter from my mother’s lawyer.”
Steel Rush (In the Shadows#5) Page 11