by Tony White
But seem like Foxy-T aint interest in nothing just her book and she just be sit there and maybe look at the last page she was reading fe check her place cause she nuff distract with that Zafar keep stare at her and believe me she a go do anything not fe catch him eye init and that girl aint concentrate upon her book is it that girl just think about Zafar and that thief and they is all mix up now fe true and is also true that Foxy-T never knowed what him a go do next so she just on tender hook init just wait fe Zafar next move..
But even though man could a cut the air in that room with a knife there something is make Zafar feel at home in there sitting room cause even though is well different now is still feel like home and still that same gas fire on the wall there even if everything else is change.
This one other night it was start fe rain again init and pretty dark by then and Zafar figure no rude boy a go come fe nick whatever now so him come in and they was just gonna lock up. So they pull down the shutter what they can lock now because Zafar borrow some big drill off the guy down the One Stop and match up them hole so they can slip a big padlock in there. And once they lock up and get all log out of them servers and that or whatever and total up and put the money and the cards in the safe then they all go upstairs and switch on the fire and its all cosy in that sitting room of theres and they probaly put on the heating and all.
So Zafar take off him jacket and shirt and he is wear one of them ghetto boy type string vest underneath init because him still young and like many young man them him no like the feel of a collar round him neck. And he just sit down in one of the armchair and maybe get him fags out him shirt pocket and just sit there and feel like a king. And Ruji-Babes and Foxy-T get in the kitchen and there chatting and there listening to the radio and Zafar is just sit there and start fe think that he wouldnt mind living here his self all the time since this was a well comfy flat and easy work. And then suddenly him think, ‘Well if me marry that Foxy-T it would be mine,’ or whatever.
And he was just sit there for a second pure shock by what him a think. It took him a while fe catch up with his self believe me. This was well radical seen. But then he smile inside and kind of think well yeah what a fe go stop him is it. Fe true that Foxy-T was well fit even if she gay. Didnt even matter if she be like five years older than him or whatever. And another thing was that because she was maybe gay she wasnt exackly good with blokes. Zafar figure that him definitely knowed more about life and relationships than she done. It was like she was the younger one out of them two and him was the older one. And him just sit there for a bit init just a soak up that new dream and enjoy the way it feel fe think about. And it didnt seem like him doing anything wrong by think about marry Foxy-T and maybe this show like a different side to Zafar if he can think about just marrying someone like that. Just because him think say him found a good little number living in this flat up above the E-Z Call and just because he reckon that he can.
But I tell you he aint stupid this Zafar so he know that he better not come out with it for a while is it. Him know that he better not even think about it to himself hardly. He knowed that he better put that idea right to the back of his mind believe me. Because him no want fe wreck this nice little number is it. He knowed without even really think about it that him better play it by ear. Just like him knowed without even really thinking about it that if he a straight away go tell Foxy-T about this idea of his she would probaly just laugh in his face init. He werent stupid is it. In fact quite the opposite. That Zafar quite smart in him way seen and him definitely would a know that if him just went up to Foxy-T and say, ‘Listen T. You and me is meant to be together init. I want fe marry you cause I love you,’ he knowed that if he said that this Foxy-T would most likely cuss him and tell him he better fuck off and stop being such a arsehole init. Cause Foxy-T often make it plain she think like most man Zafar age was arseholes and she could well rip the piss out of some of them stupid boy what come in the E-Z Call. Zafar had a seen her do it. And he knowed that if him no careful she would well rip the piss out of him and all and her and Ruji-Babes would just tell him fe fuck off out the flat and everything init. So him figure like him grandad sometime use fe say – ‘Softly, softly, catchee monkey.’ Meaning that if you want fe catch a monkey you aint gonna just stand there in the jungle and aks the monkey fe come in this nice cosy little sack is it. You aint gonna talk about it at all is you. Cause the more you talk about it the more scared that monkey gonna get init. Then it just gonna fuck off init. Take a bit more skill than that fe catch a monkey init.
If him play chess Zafar might say it like a game of chess or whatever. Even if him didnt play chess and he didnt because he was even shit at draughts this Zafar and always losing him fags up Feltham but like I say even though him never play chess he think well its a bit like a game of chess init - you have fe plan your move careful.
And he was imagine this story like when his grandad or whatever would say it and think about what you need fe do if you is gonna catch a monkey or whatever. You have fe keep cool and together init. And go out early into them jungle or forest. When its all quiet and misty between them tree. And its all about you have fe feel it rather than think it yeah like playing pool or snooker where man just feel him way around the table and without even a think about it you just know that you can pot that ball. And he was good at snooker this Zafar. Well he had plenty of time fe practice up Feltham init. And him know that with snooker is like man destiny and the ball destiny or the monkey or whatever is all wrap up together. And you kind of hook on fe that monkey before you even seen it and its like a kind of magic even before that monkey has smell your human smell in the forest. And without even know it that monkey is probaly try and find a way fe escape just like you might say that snooker ball got all them different direction what it might take is somehow inside of it. And then it turns in to that kind of game of chess what is not finish until that ball is in the pocket or that monkey in the sack. And is like when they say some sportsmen or whatever is in the zone. You in the zone too whether you is hunt monkey or play snooker and you dont aim at that ball or whatever is it. You use the cue fe push it where it never think it want fe go cause even though it no think it want fe go there in fact there some little bit inside it which is also begging fe go there too. Same with that monkey init. You have fe make it go where it no think it want fe go. Like in your sack. Because thats where you want it fe go. And you dont do this through using all your skills of persuasion or through declare your love or even by get out your calculator and a work out all them angle through mathematic in the case of snooker because believe me that will fuck things up for you if you do that and that ball will bounce off the cushion or you will pot the white for sure init.
Zafar knowed that he couldnt get Foxy-T fe marry him as general dogsbody and security man up the E-Z Call is it. She would have fe marry him as a man what is the only man for her and he figure him have fe play things like with snooker or whatever and make her go where she no think she want fe go because Zafar figure him knowed how fe make her go there inspite of what she think she want. Or thats what him think. And if this was like a hunt for monkeys then him not even left the house yet is it. And if it was a game of snooker then him not even rack up them ball yet. So him decide fe stay cool because him no want fe fuck things up is it. And if he just chill then them two girl wouldnt notice nothing strange about Zafar. Far as they was concern he would just be that same Zafar what they took in because they felt sorry for him back when him come out of Feltham. Then he could play him game real slow. Like that long slow game of chess or snooker or whatever and that monkey is just jump straight in him bag.
So him a sit there in him string vest and feeling right pleased with himself and all him big idea and him cool seen. And Zafar sit there and just blow smoke ring like he learn off Deepak up Feltham.
Then he hear like Ruji-Babes in the kitchen go, ‘Shit, T. We didnt get milk is it. I better go down the Quality Food.’
And she pop her head round the door and go
, ‘You want anything Zafar? I’m going up the shop.’
And hes like, ‘No thanks man.’
So she says, ‘Do you want to lay the table Zafar? Cause that tea gonna be ready in a minute yeah.’
So he finish up him fag then gets up and goes out the kitchen where Foxy-T is just check the rice and as she lift up the lid this big cloud a steam come out init and smell all of rice and bayleaf. Then she stir the little bit of dal left over from last night what there heating up for tea and she check under the grill that them lamb chops are cooking nice and she pour a bit more a that yogurt and spice over them. And she still all quiet around Zafar init because she cant really be near him without feel really out of it still and start fe think about how she feel when that thief looking right at her that time only now she think of Zafar like that thief. And with good reason as we just seen cause him plan fe steal her init.
So he just go quietly over to the draw and get out some knife and forks and put them on the table and she dont look at him at all while he done this. Then he run that cold tap a bit and fill up the jug and put out some glasses next to the knife and forks and she still dont look at him. Then him get like the ice tray out of the fridge freezer and put some ice in the jug and all and still she dont look at him or say nothing but he can feel that she know him there and that she try very hard not fe look at him. Then he get some hot lime pickle out the cupboard and a teaspoon out the draw. And he take a saucer out the other cupboard and put the pickle and the teaspoon on the saucer before him lay it upon the table. And when him a finish put this out on the table he stop and still he say nothing neither. Then he light the candle what is in the middle of the table like they always do when they have there tea because it make even beans on toast feel kind of special especially when you just finish like your long hard day at work or whatever. But when him stop all a this and wait for her to say something or do whatever she still dont say nothing is it just feel even more out of it.
And like a minute or so go by like this with both of them just stand there and him look over at her but she got her back to him at the cooker until he break the silence. Cause for all him think about how him a go catch that monkey Zafar pure busting with him plan init and what Zafar no learn yet is when man have a big idea like that man better think it through. Is why him shit at draught init cause him only plan one move ahead seen. Cause him young him no think about them consequence is it and thing may not go him way. Now he knowed that him a go aks her that question is like that aks him question become him goal init. Zafar no learn that when man know him have fe make a big move is better fe like stop and see what happen on is own and when is seem like no other way man better find one seen.
‘Foxy-T,’ he say quietly.
She look up from the cooker.
‘Yeah?’ she goes a bit sudden.
He look over at her and it feel like he cant see her properly over there by the cooker even though she a stand just there in front of him.
‘No, nothing.’
‘What?’ she says again.
‘Oh. I was just gonna aks you something,’ he says.
‘Yeah? Whats that then?’ she aks. And she aks him this all quiet and slow but she just feel that empty fear and shaking inside of her like with the robber before. But she dont let on that she is feeling like this. ‘What was you gonna aks me?’ she says again.
And he get all shy himself init but that piss-takey side of him come out now and he goes, ‘What do you think I’m gonna aks you?’
And his voice all quiet there in the kitchen but she could like feel it a vibrate inside her somehow.
‘I dont know, is it.’
‘No, go on,’ him say. ‘What you think I’m gonna aks you?’
‘Don’t know,’ she say.
‘Listen,’ he say.
So she just turn right around there in front of the cooker and push some bit of hair behind her ear and dont say nothing just look at him.
‘Listen,’ he says. And she can feel his voice inside her or like its some gentle little animal against her skin instead of that Zafars voice aksing her a question. And through Zafar just wear him vest Foxy-T feel pure charge a come off him skin init.
Zafar feel like him a go bust now cause he knowed Foxy-T is go say yes init. ‘Listen,’ he say again. ‘I was gonna aks you fe marry me.’
Foxy-T almost didnt hear what him say because she just think more and more about how him voice feel and how him skin charge the air and less and less about them chop under the grill. She was try fe turn back to the cooker and do something but she couldnt move not so much because she was surprise but more because she knowed now what that Zafars intentions are. And she just stand there for a bit sort of looking down at the sink and at the washing up liquid on the windowsill and thinking that splash back need a bit of a wipe and think about anything she can except what him just aks her.
Zafar was just leaning forward and looking at her and she could feel that him a smile that piss-takey smile of his what might just be him natural expression but she always took wrong.
Then she just snap out of it and goes, ‘Fuck sake, dont be a arsehole Zafar! That dont wash with me is it.’
Zafar never expect that is it. He never seen Foxy-T shout before is it. Shit man that Zafar realise that him well blown it and him pure vex init and no understand how thing go so wrong so quick. That Foxy-T was in him hand and he knowed she want him too init. But he dont say this him just stand there and say nothing still. Just be cool. Then he think well I better say something else so he says all quiet, ‘I’m not being a arsehole T. Why you think I is fucking about? I just aks you fe marry me man.’
Foxy-T was thinking he sound really upset init. And how the sound of him voice make her feel all out of it but kind of cool no matter what him talking about. She try to find something inside of her only that bit of her what just said ‘Dont be a arsehole’ seem to be lost for a minute and she felt right out of it believe me. But then she found it again and say, ‘You talking so much shit Zafar I swear. Thats so fucking stupid man. You know I’m older than you for a start you is just a kid man. How can I even think about marry you? Stop fucking around man.’
‘No,’ he says. ‘I aint talking shit and I aint pissing about neither. I’m being honest man. And I know for a fact that you aint that old. Even if you was it wouldnt matter is it. Age dont come into it and you know it. You could be whatever age and I could be like sixty it dont matter we can still get marry.’
Foxy-T feel like she gonna faint and feel behind her for the edge a the counter fe hold herself up. He was talking fast just blurting it out and she could feel him voice right inside her and there wasnt nothing she could do about it.
Zafar seen this init and it seem like thing aint go so bad after all seem like the way she shout at him make her weak init. Like she no use to it. He knowed is best fe keep talk now.
‘I dont know man,’ him say. ‘You aint much older than me like a couple of years I dont know what five years or something. That dont matter and you know it. Thats just a excuse man. Come on man you know me serious init. You know me check the way you act man. Come on man.’
The way he carry on like this make her feel unsteady on her feet and she didnt say nothing.
Zafar feel like him want fe go like ‘YES!’ like that monkey just jump into him sack or him pot that black fe win the game. So him try fe press it home now.
‘You and me T! I want fe marry you and thats it man. Why not eh? Tell me that?’ He stopped then and wait for her to say something else. He could see her just stand by the cooker and she look like she lit up inside but she didnt say nothing and she was looking down at the lino and he felt like she was his. But he think he better maybe just let it sink in and he didnt think he better touch her or kiss her or anything.
‘Oh go on T,’ he said. ‘What do you reckon then. Come on man.’
He was like a dog with a bone now that him thought he won. He wasnt gonna let go until she say yes is it.
Far as Foxy-T conc
ern his voice was definitely too close for comfort now and he come even closer still. ‘Go on T! Say you gonna marry me.’
‘No,’ she says and she sound really weak and far away and she well upset at the way thing a turn out. ‘Tell me now. How the fuck could I marry you Zafar?’
‘Easy,’ he says and he put his hand on her arm but she still looking over at the cupboard under the sink and well out of it. ‘Just say yes init. Come on T! Course you can man.’ Then him lean forward as if him gonna kiss her and she practicly jump out her skin with that electricity what is coming off him.
‘Get away from me man,’ she shout and move away then she stop and look at him. ‘What you on about Zafar. “No” I said. You no hear me man?’ But she was out of breath init and couldnt say nothing else.
‘Oh come on T! I aint joking man. I want fe marry you and you know it. I want us fe get marry. Come on. You know I aint joking man. You know I’m being serious man dont you?’
‘Eh?’ she said.
‘You know I aint pissing about is it.’
‘You say you aint pissing around Zafar. Thats what you say anyway.’
‘And you know I aint dont you eh.’
‘I dont know,’ she says. ‘I can hear you say that but I dont know do I.’