by Jessie G.
“It worked!”
“Tell that to Trick!” Saul knew it was a low blow and even felt a twinge of guilt when Alaric flinched back. No one could have predicted the whole Alicia twist and it was unfair to lay that at Alaric’s feet. “Look, you couldn’t have known. I know that, Trick knows that...but Ric, none of them should have been in that position to begin with. You’re so smart, why didn’t you try to talk me out of it instead of going along with it?”
“It’s no secret that there was no love between Terence and I, but that didn’t stop me from trying to save him. You love your brother. How could I ask you to do any less?” Alaric stood and paced to the window. “How many men are like you, Saul? A lot of people say they’ll do ‘whatever it takes,’ but how many are actually willing to go that far? I could have said that if you got Javi out, then Miguel could have done the same for Marisol. The reason he couldn’t is simple—he’s not you. It doesn’t mean he loves her less or that he isn’t strong and deadly...he just isn’t as high on the crazy-ass-motherfucker scale as you.”
“We should have found another way.” If they were going to work together going forward, Alaric couldn’t just make plans behind his back and expect him to go along with it. Laying it all on him after everyone was on board left him powerless to stop it. Genius or not, Alaric wasn’t the mission planning type. Saul was, Trick was, and for whatever reason, he rejected them as a resource without even hearing them out.
Alaric turned from the window, his expression thoughtful. “Did you know they think of you and Javi as parents? They were adamant that they would do whatever was necessary. They all, every one of them, believe they would be lost without your guidance. How the hell do you inspire a house full of criminals into that kind of loyalty?”
“We’re family.” They’d been hammering that point home relentlessly and it was the only reason that made sense. Truth was Saul didn’t know what he did to inspire that loyalty. If he and Javier were supposed to be the parents, he was certainly the mean one. Laying down rules and enforcing them, urging them to own up to their shit and look forward instead of back. Javier was the coddler, the nurturer, the one they turned to for a hug or a pep talk. Saul was the one who made them to dig deep when things were tough, refused to let them hide from their fears. “We’re family. If those men, all of whom didn’t know me until they moved into the house, are willing to do whatever it takes for me, how can you possibly excuse Miguel’s inability to do the same for the woman he loves?”
“Put that way, I can’t. Does it even matter now? We got them out, Chase is alive and he’ll recover, but what you’re planning to do is a suicide mission.” Alaric scrubbed a weary hand down his face and laughed humorlessly. “It’s a very tangled web, Saul. In any other scenario, you and I wouldn’t have ever crossed paths. Clay wanted you and Trick to help each other, and was willing to put Evan’s club at risk to foster that partnership. They’re all binding ties weaving our families together. When it’s all over, those ties will still be there.”
As a man used to being on his own, Saul wanted to scoff, but Alaric was right. “If that’s true, Ric, then you understand why I have to do this. My family keeps growing and I won’t be kept on the sideline while another one falls. Not to discount your reasons, but this battle is mine. For every minute of pain he caused Javier, for the half-life we’ve been stuck in, this battle is mine. You said not many men are like me—you are not like me. Not because you wouldn’t do whatever it takes for Davin, but because you can’t imagine the blood of your enemy on your hands. I dream about it. Help me or get out of my way.”
A knock on the door cut off Alaric’s answer and they both turned to see Delia lead Trick in. “Shall I arrange lunch?”
“No, I won’t be here that long,” Trick answered before Alaric could.
“When was the last time you ate?” Seeing Alaric, in his thousand dollar suit, square off against Trick who looked like a truck hit him—and no doubt lost—was impressive. No, Alaric wasn’t the type to get blood on his hands, but he might well be the most dangerous of them all simply because he had no fear of them. When Trick just shrugged, Alaric nodded to Delia and waited until they were alone. “Who’s with Chase?”
“Kyle and Javi right now. Clay and his boys are right next door if they need anything. Seems like suddenly everyone is right there if we need anything. It’s like a fucking revolving door. I’m just waiting for Chase to lose his mind and start kicking everyone out.” Trick flopped into the chair next to him, yanked off his mirrored sunglasses, and shot Alaric a death glare. “It better not be fancy finger sandwiches with fish eggs and shit. I need real man food.”
“Shall I have her kill a cow out back and bring it to you on a platter?” The droll tone had Trick snorting in amusement. “I assure you she wouldn’t bat an eyelash.”
“I don’t doubt it.” Trick smirked as if he were thinking about it. “How’s your boy?”
“Davin?” Alaric abandoned his casual stance and that friendly, solicitous gaze turned suspicious. “He’s fine, why?”
“Defensive much, Fancy Pants?” Trick held up his hands in mock surrender. “Just making small talk, ya know, you asked about Chase so I’m asking about your super built boy toy.”
“Yeah, I get it. Davin is…” Alaric trailed off and shook his head. “A rock. Steady, strong, capable...except when he’s not. He’ll be better when this is all over.”
“We’re a pathetic bunch of fools.” What kind of idiots were they to put their loved ones through this? Just thinking about Kyle begging for forever, declaring his love, had Saul wishing he could turn back the clock.
“Speak for yourself.” Trick squared his shoulders. “I prefer to think of myself as a world class ass.”
Yep, that’s what they were, a stupid bunch of assholes that put their lovers through hell. Where Alaric thought his plan was suicide, Saul knew Trick would see the benefits right away and turned his attention to getting the man on his side. “We need this to be over.”
“No shit, Spanky, so what’s the plan? I’m assuming that’s why I was summoned to the royal palace when I could be home making Chase miserable?”
“If you like bat shit crazy, then sure there’s a plan.” Alaric looked at Saul meaningfully and Trick shifted to face him.
“Bat shit crazy is my middle name. Hit me with it.” Yep, Trick would not only be on board, he’d want to drive the damn train.
“I’m going to give Durango the opportunity to grab me.” No point in offering a bulleted list of how’s, where’s and why’s. Trick could formulate that shit on his own.
“Yeah?” Trick was nodding as if that made all the sense in the world. “Yeah, that will get you right through the front door.”
“If they don’t just kill him first,” Alaric pointed out with a resigned huff.
“No, they won’t. Durango’s going to want to see him, taunt him, and gloat about how he got the better of him.” Hearing Trick give the same argument he tried on Alaric made Saul grin. Yeah, birds of a feather and all that shit. “You need a tracker, something undetectable…”
“That’s where boy genius comes in.” It was petty, but Saul couldn’t keep the gloating smile off his face.
“Assuming I did...then what?” When Alaric threw up his hands in defeat, Saul knew he’d jumped on the crazy train with them, half-hearted objections and all. “Durango takes you back to his lair, gives you the song and dance, and we do what?”
“Not we.” Trick answered first and finally there was some emotion in that voice. Since Alicia stepped into the picture, there hadn’t been an ounce of inflection in Trick’s voice or demeanor. Any show of emotion was better than the void, even if it was evil anticipation. “Me. Right, me? You better fucking say me!”
“Then Trick rides to the rescue,” Saul agreed. “You track me, let Trick know, and he’ll take it from there.”
“Alone?” When they both turned to look at him, Alaric sighed. “I get it, you don’t want anyone else getting hurt,
but you can’t do this alone.”
“You have no idea what I can and can’t do,” Trick warned. “The problem so far is that no one knows where Durango is. Saul can lead me right to him. Yeah, he’ll do his little cabaret, but he won’t kill him straight off. He’ll want to make a move on Javi and Kyle, do the whole I’m gonna make you watch while I kill your lovers act. So he’ll tuck Saul somewhere, I’ll get him out, bing bang boom, the two of us rid the world of another evil bottom feeder, and if the Good Lord is shining down upon me, I’ll take out that evil bitch he married.”
“What about Bull, he can…” Alaric was clearly determined.
“No!” Saul and Trick spoke in unison, looked at one another, and laughed.
Their amusement was lost on Alaric. “He’s going to need backup.”
“If he needs backup, he can tap Billy.” Saul had considered all the men and knew Billy was the only one crazy enough to back Trick up, stable enough not to crumble in the aftermath, and deadly enough to get the job done. Bull and Red had already risked too much. The others...well, the others weren’t cold blooded killers and he wouldn’t make them take that turn for him.
“The fucker with the knife fetish?” Trick grinned with something that looked like glee. “Shit, yeah, I hear that bastard’s got a short fuse and a long blade.”
“Cause that didn’t sound perverted at all.” Delia laughed as she came in with their lunch. “You three taking over the world again?”
“Sure are, sugar. You kill a cow for me?”
“Served still mooing, just how you like it.” As if she’d been present for the joke, she nodded solemnly before turning on a sharp heel to walk out.
“That girl’s got some interesting secrets, doesn’t she?” Trick asked as he unwrapped his burger.
“I would never pry into my employees’ private business.” Alaric grinned when they both gave him a knowing look. Then the smile slid away and he sighed. “You both are serious about doing this?”
“As a heart attack,” Trick agreed.
“And what happens if your sis—” Alaric caught Trick’s glare and amended, “—the evil bitch isn’t there? She’d be stupid to hang around and wait for you to come for her.”
“Well…” Trick moaned around a bite of his burger. “That’ll be another story entirely. One you won’t be a part of. Whatever your reasons are for doing this don’t include Alicia.”
Saul didn’t need to be a genius to see that Alaric was torn. No, his reasons didn’t include Alicia. In reality, they didn’t include Durango. Deprived of the opportunity to deal with his brother for the terrible things he’d done, Alaric had taken up the mantle of getting justice for Terence’s victims by going after those that Terence partnered with. Saul didn’t ask what had happened to the other two men that were present the night Davin was raped; he understood revenge enough not to pry. Though he didn’t believe Alaric was a cold blooded killer, he also didn’t think the man had been sitting on his ass waiting for this shot at Durango.
Binding ties or not, none of that had anything to do with Alicia and his promise to Trick was not Alaric’s burden. “Let’s focus on the one thing we’re sure of. It’s been four days since we snatched Miguel and Marisol right out from under his nose, and he won’t wait much longer to make his move. I’ve already spoken to Bull and shared my plan. In my absence, Javi and the others will need him and he knows that.”
“And Kyle?” Trick’s question was more about Chase than them, but he understood.
God knew he loved Javier blindly, but Javier always believed the chance of one or both of them dying was a possibility. So many times they talked about the potential outcomes, even the option of leaving Miami to get as far from Durango as possible. Javier listened, but was always adamant that Miami was home, that Lily and his parents were buried there. The ugly truth was his death would free Javier. Was it any wonder he never agreed to go someplace safe or begged him to come home alive?
No one had until Kyle accepted him for exactly who he was and gave of himself completely. “I made Kyle a promise and you’re going to help me keep it.”
Trick shared a curious glance with Alaric. Thankfully, both were smart enough not to ask.
Chapter 40
Javier
“I think something’s going on with Saul.” Javier sat on the bathroom counter and watched Kyle shower. Sometimes it was surprising to walk into their rooms and find Kyle there looking all beautiful and golden and theirs. The reasons that drove Kyle were beyond him and he often wondered if they were meeting his needs. Or at least if he was meeting Kyle’s needs. There was no doubt Saul was doing his part because that’s what Saul did. Contorted into whatever was necessary for whoever he was dealing with.
When Kyle schooled his features, Javier knew not only that he was right, but that Kyle was already way ahead of him. “Why do you say that?”
“I’m a little slow sometimes and it’s a good possibility that I’m less sane than I hoped, but I’m not stupid. Please don’t treat me like I am.” If he wanted to be coddled he would have attempted this conversation with Saul. He came to Kyle because he hoped they were equals, that Kyle saw them as equals.
“You’re right.” Kyle turned and dipped his head back under the water. “If I had to venture a guess, I’d say he’s planning his next move. He doesn’t strike me as the wait around type.”
“No.” Javier leaned back against the mirror and drew his knees up. “No, this limbo we’ve been in has been hardest on him. Sometimes I think we should have left Miami when he suggested it.”
That had Kyle looking at him sharply. “Yeah, knowing how close you were to Durango, why did you guys stay here?”
“Lily’s here.” How could he explain how important it was to feel close to the family he lost? The parents he was sure loved him and the sister who looked up to him, all taken away too soon. At least if he stayed in Miami, Saul could take him to their graves and he could feel like they were still with him. If he left, would he forget them? Would they fall victim to that secret box in his mind where all the painful memories went? “I feel close to them here.”
Kyle nodded slowly, and then shook his head. “You would risk Saul’s life to be close to a grave? You realize how great the risk is, right, Javi? Are you really okay with Saul dying to protect you?”
Saul would have never said anything like that to him. Maybe Kyle really did see them as equals. “No, of course I don’t want him to die, but it was always a possibility…”
“A possibility!” The accusation in that statement had him recoiling as Kyle shut off the taps and stomped out of the shower. “That’s it? How can you possibly say you love him and then be so accepting of the danger to him? No wonder he doesn’t believe it.”
“Wait, what?” Javier scrambled off the counter and followed Kyle into the other room. The one he hadn’t been in since Saul installed locks on it. Hadn’t he seen the key dangling from a chain around Kyle’s neck? He’d accepted that it was where Saul and Kyle went to do the things he wasn’t capable of, and, just like the possibility of Saul dying, he’d accepted that.
Kyle barely acknowledged him as he stalked to the closet for clothes, giving him time to look around. What he’d privately envisioned as an S&M wet dream was...comfortable. Painted a beautiful shade of denim blue, the bed and dresser had been rearranged to make room for a big overstuffed chair and ottoman with a large, comfy looking dog bed next to it. On the opposite side of the chair was a bookshelf that contained actual books and, other than the leather wrist cuffs attached to the headboard, there wasn’t a single toy in sight.
“Where do you keep your toy chest?” At Kyle’s questioning look, he waved a hand around the room and clarified, “You know, the whips and paddles and stuff.”
If he thought Kyle was disappointed in him before, the look of sad resignation was worse. “Other than the occasional hickey, have you ever seen a mark on me?”
“Uh, well…” Now that Kyle pointed it out, no, he hadn’t. Bu
t they had to be doing something in this room because they always came out looking relaxed and happy. “I thought this was your play room.”
“It is. You don’t really know him at all, do you?” More of that sad resignation had him squirming. “Neither of us need nor want any more pain in our lives.”
Of course Saul needed pain, needed to wield it, shape it, and use it as a tool. Isn’t that what sadists did? “Then what do you do in here?”
“We connect.” Kyle’s answer was simple and yet so confusing. “Not through pain, not with toys or titles or protocols. You’ve built up this image in your head, one that fits a long harbored fantasy of yours, that you never really looked at the man you’re so willing to sacrifice.”
“Now, wait a fucking second.” Accepting that Kyle was getting closer to Saul was one thing, accepting that he knew Saul better was something else entirely. “I know exactly what he was before he got stuck with me! A sadist, a whip-wielding sadist.”
“What was that...like six or seven years ago?” Kyle scoffed. “People change.”
“Yes, people change, but he didn’t give it up because he doesn’t want it...he gave it up because of me!” He was there! Javier saw the very second Durango and Terence stripped that desire away just by forcing him at Saul’s feet.
“And you think all this time he’s been harboring some unrequited desire to pick up the whip? Whatever thrill he once got from it is gone. Not just momentarily hidden, it’s gone.” Kyle stalked over to the bed and pulled at one of the leather wrist cuffs. “Have you ever seen a single irritation on my wrists?”
“No, but…” Javier sat on the ottoman and felt like he didn’t know his lovers at all.
“But...what? He can twist and bend me a hundred different ways, fuck me hard and fast or slow and easy, he can have my body any way he wants it. Sometimes he uses all those wonderful muscles to hold me down, sometimes he shackles me to the bed so he can take his time edging me. No matter what we do, he has never had the desire to hurt me.” Kyle shook his head as if having to explain it was somehow taking away from it. “None of that holds a candle to the time he sets aside for us just to connect. You have him all the time and I get moments. Beautiful moments. Do not cheapen them by painting them with your fantasies.”