by Edwina Fort
I didn’t even bat an eye…There was nothing new in that department.
“How long were you locked up?”
“Six months…”
I nodded as I watched the cars drive by. I knew why she was here—
“Baby, mama need a few dollars.”
Dang, that was quick. She didn’t even ask me how I was doing. Normally, she would at least try and pretend that she cared. I shook my head…I was surrounded by crackheads.
“How much?”
“Two hundred dollars…”
I reached in my purse and pulled out a twenty before coming to my feet handing it to her. “That’s all I have.”
She took it with dirty hands before smiling up at me with teeth that had begun to rot… “Thank you, baby, you gone upstairs and get some rest, mama will talk to you later.”
Surprisingly, she got up and slid into the passenger seat of an old beat up Honda. When it rolled past, she waved at me with a huge smile on her face. The man that was driving was in no better condition than she and I couldn't help but wonder if they had stolen that car. I stood for a minute and watched them go.
Would this be the last time I saw my mother?
Will she end up in jail?
Will she end up dead?
All questions that I’ve asked myself a million times over the years. Even though I was in foster homes, I’d kept in contact with my mom. When I was younger, she made me believe that she was going to get herself together and come back and get me.
Every time my caseworker set up a visit for us, my heart would swell with excitement. I couldn’t wait to see her, to see if she had kept her word and gotten clean. Many times, she came to our visits high…and then there were the times she’d forgotten all about the visits.
By the time I’d turned fifteen, I stopped hoping. I’d been let down in life so many times, I’d become jaded. Many folks gave people the benefit of the doubt. I doubted people benefitably. If folks turned out to be good, it came as a surprise to me…because the majority of the people in the world are bad.
By the time I got upstairs, I was so tired that I shrugged out of my coat and kicked off my shoes at the door. My target was my bed that I saw beckoning me as soon as I walked in. With tunnel vision, I crossed the space that was separating me from my pillow, only managing to step out of my black slacks on the way.
Still dressed in my thigh high stockings, panties, and my halter sweater, I crawled into the bed and collapsed. I didn’t move from that spot until the first wave of my nightmare hit.
I was lying in the grass in the park around the corner from the tea shop. I held a book in my hand, but I wasn’t reading it. Instead, I was looking up at the sun that looked strange. It seemed to be getting closer to me…
I reached up and wiped away the sweat from my brow. The sun got closer…other people in the park had stopped to look at it. The closer it got, the more afraid they became…the heat coming from it began to be unbearable. Steam came from the cup of water on the ground next to me. It looked as if something broke away from the sun and it was heading our way quickly. People began to run, but I knew there was no place to go. And then all of a sudden--
BOOM!
Crying out, I jerked up in the bed just as my front door busted off the hinges. For a second, I thought I was still dreaming when Hitta’s big body filled the frame. His angry gaze came to mine and I realized it wasn’t a dream.
There were more men with him, but it was his gaze that held me prisoner. I felt frozen in fear until he began to come towards me. Seeing him charging my way like an angry bull snapped me out of my panic induced coma and I scrambled out of my bed.
“Find that f***ing crackhead!” I heard him growl to his men before he barreled into my room. I grabbed the nearest thing to me, which was a big herbal book I’d been reading and threw it at him. Using his powerful hand, he angrily punched the book sending it flying back across the room.
I screamed as I tried to run past him, but his big warm hand palmed my belly before he slammed me back against the wall. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt, but it was hard enough to get my attention, not to mention the fact that he was crowding my space in a very threatening way.
He was so strong, his hand still flat against my stomach was holding me against the wall while his other arm rested on the wall just above my head. He leaned in close, trapping me with his big stout body.
Tears filled my eyes when his raged filled face got close to mine. I wanted to scream for help, but I was so terrified the only thing I could do was stand there shivering.
“Where yo’ f***ing brother?” He growled.
And…
Oh, my goodness!
The force of his words had my knees knocking, if his hand was not there on my stomach holding me in place, I would have slid to the ground.
“I—I don’t know,” I cried. “Please don’t hurt me!”
“He’s not here, boss,” someone said behind us.
“It’s cool, go downstairs and wait for me.”
Although I couldn’t see anything past Hitta’s big body, I heard the other men as they filed out, leaving me alone with this…this…
Force of nature!
“Please don’t hurt me…” I repeated through trembling lips as his gaze raked over my face. He moved back a few inches so that he could look down my body and I saw something change in his eyes.
I bit my lip wanting to cry out again when I realized I was standing there in nothing but my black thigh-high stockings, black panties, and my black halter sweater…his big warm palm was still pressed against my naked stomach.
“Damn…” I heard him whisper as he took in my body.
“What do you want?!” I yelled, not able to take it anymore.
His heated gaze came back up to mine. “Yo’ crackhead a** brotha stole money from me yesterday.”
I closed my eyes…
No, Westly! No!
Oh God! No!
Out of all the people in the world to steal from.
Please, God, …don't let this be true!
When I opened my eyes again, he was biting his lip looking at me with that hungry gaze of his. I’ve never had a man look at me like that before. His gaze took its time taking in my body as his thumb rubbed against my soft stomach.
“Please tell me that wasn’t your money?” I whined.
“Where the f*** is it?”
My shoulders slumped. I give up… this was just too much.
“I—I spent it.”
I don’t know why I told him the truth. Maybe because I didn’t want him to kill my brother and I knew he wouldn’t kill me. As if to confirm my words, a deadly grin slowly spread across his face.
“You spent my money, Teacup?”
Although it was the last thing in the world that I wanted to do…I nodded. The look that came into his hard gaze as it once again took its time raking over my barely clad body was that of a conqueror. When his eyes settled on my trembling lips, there seemed to be some kind of hidden pull between us, his head came closer to mine and it looked for a moment as if he was going to kiss me.
I held my breath, terrified, yet…and I really hate to admit this…excited.
“Well now…” he muttered, his lips only inches from mine. “It looks like you… belong to me.”
Chapter 3
My Obsession
Hitta
Everything about this little woman called out to me, it has since the first day I saw her. It was like the cells in my body just knew that she was meant to be mine. My boy, Rome joked that I had become obsessed with her, but the truth was, my feelings for her were far past obsession.
Angel had become the reason behind all of my actions in the last three months. I have never felt this way about another human being…ever. Sh*t, I think she is my first crush.
Naw…I take that back. This was more than a crush.
I’ve sat in my truck and watched her, imagining how her skin would feel under my hand, how it would taste a
gainst my tongue. Leaning in, I inhaled her scent…she smelled like flowers and something else that was uniquely her and a heady aphrodisiac to me.
She was mine!
Finally… mine!
I stepped back just a bit so that I can see this beautiful body she hid under her homeless clothing. I knew she was banging under all that sh*t. When she jumped out of the bed and I saw that she was dressed like a sex kitten in only a pair of thigh high stockings, black panties, and a halter sweater that left the lower half of her stomach exposed to my greedy gaze, I signaled for my men to search the other room…because God knows, had one of them laid eyes on her, I wouldn’t have hesitated to put a f***ing bullet in their heads.
Her body was mine…My word, no man but me will ever see it. She had the kind of body that all of these Hollywood broads were paying a grip for. Thick, beautiful brown hips flowed up into a slim waist that connected to a pair of full, plump breasts that I couldn’t wait to taste, giving her that iconic pop bottle figure. I wanted to palm her plush behind and see how well it filled my hands while I pulled her close so that she could feel how much I needed her.
I wanted to lift her into my arms until she wrapped those thick thighs around my waist and drive into her heat. I wanted to hear her scream my name as I made her lose herself in pleasure. I bit my lip…Hell yeah, I wanted to make her lose herself.
Gently, I moved my thumb across her softly curved stomach and felt it quiver under my touch. I wanted her so bad I damned near groaned. My body was reacting to her in a way it has never reacted to another woman. Seeing her jump up out of the bed scantily clad gave me an instant erection, an erection that was growing more painful by the minute.
I needed to sink into her moist heat like I needed to breathe. Her fear caused her to breathe rapidly, which caused her luscious breasts to brush against my arm.
I licked my lips, needing to taste them. As if it had a mind of its own, my palm began an upward caress along her stomach, but before it could go farther, her soft hand came to rest on my arm.
“Are you going to hurt me?”
Even her voice…it was like cool water to my burning soul. Gently, I rubbed my thumb against her belly, wishing it was my tongue instead. She looked at me as if I was a monster, a big f***ing brute, who wasn’t good enough to breathe the same air as one so pure.
Maybe I wasn’t… But the fact was, I am her monster now, her brute. And she was mine, so she needed to get used to that.
“I’ll never hurt you, Teacup.” I shook my head. “Not ever…baby. That’s my word.”
She licked her lips and I groaned, wanting to taste them so badly, I was barely controlling myself. I didn’t want to mess this up. I knew she thought I was a brute and I am, I ain’t gon’ lie. But for her, I can be gentle. For her, I will be gentle, even if it killed me.
I ain’t never gave a damn what a woman I was messing with thought about me or the way I ran my sh*t. If they had a problem, they can move around…that’s the way I always saw it. Women threw themselves at me, always have. There were too many for me to get caught up on what one of them thought.
But Angel was different. I ain’t never met another woman like her. And if I messed this up and scared her away…I will never find another like her. It felt like she was made just for me. Everything about her…just for me.
“What are you going to do with me then?” Her question was quiet as if she was terrified of the answer.
My gaze fell to her plump lips that begged for my kiss. “I’m going to keep you.”
She frowned and it was the cutest thing. I loved it when she got huffy with me. And yeah, I know I'm a sick mutha f**** for that, but it was true. When she frowned at me or gave me that look that said, I’m an uncivilized mutha f****, it did something to me… turned me on.
Yeah…She was my obsession. Rome was right.
“What do you mean keep me? You can’t just keep people.”
I tilted my head to the side as I studied every detail of her beautiful face, from her smooth mocha skin to the gentle slant of her eyes. She had beautiful eyes…encased with long eyelashes, another thing chicks paid a grip for that she had naturally.
“Who gon’ stop me, Teacup? Yo’ crackhead a** brotha?”
She bit her lip, wanting to reprimand me for calling her brother a crackhead, but she was afraid. I wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to be afraid of me and if she wanted to curse me out, all she had to do was do it.
But I didn’t want her fear of me to go away before I got her moved into my house. And then once I got her there, I will show her that she was the one person in the world that didn’t have to fear me because she was the one person I will never hurt.
“I’m sorry I spent your money.” She whispered, looking away from me.
She was so f***ing timid. Rome had done some digging into her background for me and shawty had a really messed up life. The state took her away from her mother when she was seven and she ended up in the foster care system.
Although I didn’t end up in the foster care system, my mother wasn’t sh*t either. It was tough scrapping my way out the gutta and I’m a mean SOB. I could only imagine what it must have been like for her, being so gentle, soft, and so pure… And yet, she made it out and started her own business at nineteen years old. She was a warrior, she just didn’t know it.
“Yo’ apologies ain’t enough, shawty. Ten G’s ain’t no lil money. Somebody got to pay for that sh*t.” I put my finger under her chin and gently turned her face till our eyes connected.
“Yo’ brotha got to die for that sh*t.”
Her eyes widened and she clutched my arm again, shaking her head fiercely. “No, Hitta! Please don’t kill him! I’ll pay for him…It was me that spent the money anyway. You can keep me! I swear I won’t give you any problems.”
Satisfaction rushed through my veins like blood. I know damn well I can keep you. I’d like to see a mutha f**** try and say different.
“You sure? ‘Cuz I can find him tonight and handle this business.”
Her fingers tightened on my arm as her beautiful eyes filled with tears. “I’m sure, Hitta. Whatever you want,” she muttered.
And that sh*t tore at my heart. Something became clear to me at that moment. This girl was my f***ing kryptonite. Seeing her in tears was not something I liked. I would do anything to bring a smile to her face, but I also knew that this process had to happen. She didn’t know she needed me as much as I needed her, so yeah, this seemed hard for her.
But I’d been planning for this moment for the last three months. I was ready for her. I’d studied everything about her. I knew what she liked and what she didn’t. I knew what she needed…I was going to take care of her. I felt like that is what I was put here to do.
I lifted my hand and gently wiped away her tears with my thumb. “Don’t cry, Teacup. I’m going to take care of you.”
What she did next surprised the sh*t out of me. She lifted her head and took me in before she laughed bitterly as if she didn't believe me.
It was my turn to frown at her. “What? You don’t believe me?”
She exhaled. “Look, I’m tired. It’s been a long night, can we pick this back up tomorrow? I can come by the gym and we can work something out. Don’t worry about the door…I’ll fix it when you leave.”
See what I mean? She was so f***ing adorable. Even though she was scared out of her mind, she was standing here trying to dismiss me. She still gave me the benefit of the doubt. She spoke to me like I was a reasonable mutha f****, that will do the right thing and turn and walk out this door without her.
I smiled…Damn! She spoke to me like I wasn’t what I was. She didn’t know yet that I’m a f***ing savage. It’s alright though…I am a patient man. We had all the time in the world for her to learn.
“Naw, shawty, you must have misunderstood. This ain’t yo’ spot no mo’. Grab yo’ sh*t, you coming home with me.”
Angel
Because of my nightmares, I didn’t get nearl
y enough sleep to function most times, so, I figured my tiredness had caused me to hear him wrong.
“Excuse me?”
He chuckled. “You heard me.”
Oh my God! I can’t believe this was happening to me. Was he getting ready to rape me? And what the hell did he mean this ain’t my spot no more. My mind raced trying to figure a way out of this. I’ve never had sex before. Thanks to Stan, I’d been too afraid to ever go there with any of the guys I’d ever dated.
And it wasn’t that I didn’t want to lose my virginity, I just wanted to lose it to a gentle guy…A safe guy. A guy I have yet to find. However, that guy was definitely not this brute of a man standing in front of me.
Damn you, West! Look what you’ve gotten me into. There had to be another way out of this. Maybe I could find a way to get the money back…
Hell…who was I fooling? I couldn’t even get the hole in my shop’s wall fixed. Where did I think I was going to pull ten-thousand dollars from? I had to do something though, there was no way I could go home with Hitta and do what he wanted me to do. The thought of it made me want to fold up into a ball and cry.
“I can’t go with you tonight.” My voice sounded desperate.
He lifted an eyebrow. “Why not?”
I licked my lips and his hungry gaze followed. “Because, I—I.”
I can’t go with you, sir because I’m a virgin and I’m afraid a man as big and vicious as you will tear me in two.
Damn it! I couldn’t think of a good enough reason that wasn’t embarrassing as heck.
“Because—”
“You’re afraid,” he interrupted, saying the words I was struggling with.
I nodded. “Yes, I am terrified.”
There was no use in lying at this point. Plus, it would do no good, I knew I looked terrified.
His gaze raked over my face, studying me before he nodded, stepping back. I exhaled in relief, but when he moved his warm hand from my stomach, I felt a sense of loss that confused me. He grabbed my robe off my chair and put it around my shivering shoulders.