“Like what?”
“Like you have a secret,” I said.
“It’s not a secret,” he said with a lift of his shoulder. “You like me.”
I gasped. “What? I never said—”
“You didn’t have to.” He shifted closer, a panther with his prey. “I felt it, Daisy. You missed me.”
He issued it like a challenge and my automatic impulse was to deny it. But I couldn’t bring myself to lie. “Of course I missed you.”
His gaze softened. “I missed you, too.”
I swallowed a surge of emotions that made me want to weep—for what we’d had, the kids we’d been—and where we were now. “But you left,” I said quietly, not with any anger this time. Even to my own ears, I sounded exhausted. Weary. “You left and we can’t just go back to the way things were as if nothing’s changed.”
He nodded, his smirk fading to a serious, thoughtful expression. “I know. I don’t expect us to pick up where we left off. I just want a chance to get to know you again—this new, older, more mature you.” He arched his brows. “And I want you to get to know me.”
I stared at him for a long moment as I processed this new, non-cocky, ultra-serious side of Tieg.
His tongue flicked out to lick his lips. “I meant what I said before, about not having people in my life who really know me. I don’t need another person like that in my life. I want someone who knows me.”
I heard the pain in his voice, even if he didn’t. I flinched inwardly on his behalf. He’d always had a hard time warming up to people, thanks to his terrible home life. I knew how much it meant to him to have people around him he could trust…and how rare it had always been.
“Is that what this is about?” I asked. I hated the suspicion in my voice, but I had to know. “I mean, you came back after all this time and you want to know me.” I glanced away from him so I could get the words out—the ugly suspicions that were starting to take root. “Do you just want to be with me because I know you? Because you…you trust me? Do you just want me because I knew you before you were famous?”
“No,” he said quickly.
Something about how quickly he said it made me stiffen. Was that it? Was I some piece of nostalgia? A reminder of the good old days, perhaps? Did he look at me and see some simple country girl he knew he could trust because I knew him when he was poor and unwanted by his parents?
Ugh. The thought filled me with disgust. It made me feel like I’d been cast in some syrupy sweet Hallmark movie about going home and finding redemption or something equally nauseating. “Look,” I said, shifting away from him. “I just…I don’t think this is a good idea.”
“Why not?” He got that heavy-lidded lazy look of his, but I saw through it. He’d never been able to fake it around me.
And that’s exactly why he thinks he wants you.
A pang of sympathy rose up, and I tried to squelch it mercilessly. My instincts were always to protect him, to stand by his side, to be the friend he needed.
But he didn’t just want a friend, that much was clear. And I couldn’t handle anything more, not if I intended to survive his visit to Jordan Springs with my heart still in one piece.
He shifted, and I just knew he could sense my weakness. Behind that lazy smirk I saw his jaw tense, his muscles tighten as he moved closer to me, backing me into the corner…literally.
“Why not?” he asked again.
I blinked. The air had grown too thick, the memory of that kiss still lingering between us, just begging for a repeat performance. Why were we talking when we could be kissing?
That was definitely not the voice of reason talking.
Tieg lifted a hand and tilted my chin up so I couldn’t avoid his gaze. “Give me a second chance.”
“Second chance to what?” I said jerking my head away. “Break my heart?”
The moment they slipped out I wished I could call back those words. I didn’t want to see the pity in his eyes, or even the self-recrimination. The silence was taut, breakable. I was annoyed with myself for being this angry person who couldn’t let go of the past, and I was even angrier with him for trying to resurrect it.
I closed my eyes and let out a long exhale, and most of my residual anger along with it. Anger was a choice, that was what my mom used to say. Maybe not the initial emotion but she was of the opinion that a person could choose to cling to anger or work to let it go. I was so tired of hanging on to this anger, and I so badly wished I could let it go.
So why can’t I? Why haven’t I in all these years?
I opened my eyes and found his face too close to mine, his eyes fixed steadily on me, waiting for me to speak. I found myself answering my own question aloud. “I’ve been holding on to this anger because it’s the only protection I have from you,” I said.
My voice was so quiet he probably wouldn’t have heard me if he wasn’t so very close to me right now.
His brows drew together and I knew he was about to speak, but I lifted a hand to cover his mouth. One way or the other, we needed to have this out. We needed to see this through, even if only to move on after he left again.
The thought of him leaving made me hurt so bad tears sprang to my eyes.
“I know I hurt you, Daisy—”
“You did,” I said. “But I can forgive you for that. I can.” She took a deep breath. “But I don’t think I’d survive it if you left me again.”
His brows drew together in a frown. “Things have changed, Daisy. I have options now; I have a career and money and—”
“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered through a sheen of tears, desperate to lighten the mood. “We’re all very impressed.”
One corner of his mouth twitched up, and he reached out for me, his thumb brushing away an errant tear I hadn’t realized had fallen. “I’m not bragging, just trying to tell you that if you gave me another chance, it wouldn’t end like that.”
I arched my brows, pulling back slightly because it was impossible to think when he was touching me like that—like I was cherished and breakable and something to be treasured. “So, what? You’re not going to leave again?” My voice turned a shade of bitter I didn’t love but couldn’t stop. “You’re moving back to Jordan Springs?”
Something flickered in the depths of his eyes. How anyone could fall for that unflappable, apathetic façade was a mystery to me. The guy had depths, he was an emotional quagmire, and I’d always known that the mask he wore was to protect that part of himself. I’d never truly understood that need for self-preservation as much as I did now.
“I can’t go through that again.” I wrapped my arms around my middle. “I can’t.”
But even as I said it, the sad truth of the matter was, I was already going to hurt when he left again. I might not feel the sting of his harsh rejection, but that might be even worse, because this time when he left, I might not even have that anger to hold on to.
“It doesn’t have to be like that.” He shifted so he was even closer but he didn’t reach out again. “I have a private jet, Daisy. I could come visit anytime.”
I let out a snort that was equal parts amusement and disgust. “A private plane? Seriously?” I shook my head. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. The point is, how long would that last? How long before you’d get tired of having a part-time girlfriend?”
Girlfriend. I swallowed as the word hung in the air between us. I couldn’t believe I’d even said that. Couldn’t believe I’d even thought it. This was insanity—he’d been back for one day, and I was honestly discussing being his girlfriend.
It was clear: we’d both taken crazy pills.
I moved away again, as far as I could go in this tiny little wood hut.
“You wouldn’t be a part-time anything,” he said. I could hear the frustration in his voice, but I arched my brows in disbelief. He’d been leaning toward me, all coiled tension like he might pounce, but in a heartbeat his whole demeanor shifted, and he sank back against the wood planks with a cocky grin. “The very fact
that you’re considering it means I stand a chance.”
I opened my mouth to protest and then clamped it shut when his smile grew. “You are still impossible, you know that?”
He threw his hands out to his sides. “So I’ve been told.”
Oh for the love of Pete, did he really have to be so darn charming? His arrogance was equally exasperating and endearing, made more so by the fact that he was so clearly not a cocky jerk. He never had been and likely never would be.
He just played the part well.
Even now I could see past it though, and that glimmer of vulnerability was what drove straight past the last of my defenses and knocked me on my butt…metaphorically speaking. I’d been sitting on my butt this whole time. “Tieg—”
“I can make this work, Daisy Lou.” He didn’t try to hide his pleading, and my heart lurched in my chest. “Just give me a chance.”
I drew in a breath, but he was still off and running.
“We’ll take it slow,” he said, reaching for my hands. “I’ll earn your trust again.”
“Tieg,” I said again, this time firmer, louder.
He still ignored me, maybe because he could see the pain on my face. “Give us a second chance, Daisy.”
“I-I-” He made it sound so tempting. The thought of being with Tieg again, of having him in my life…it filled some part of me that had been empty and aching for three long years. He’d always been my other half, and the thought of having that connection again…
I shoved the thought to the side and cleared my throat, trying to rid myself of this choking feeling. “It’s not that simple. We’re not kids anymore—”
“Exactly!” He leaned toward me, my hands still held tight in his. “We’re not kids anymore. Everything is different now.”
My jaw clenched tight at his words, and I tugged my hands out of his.
He frowned. “What’s wrong.”
“Everything is different…for you,” I said in a tight, harsh voice.
“And for you—” he started.
“Yeah, things are different for me because my mom is dead.” It came out so harsh and blunt, we both recoiled a bit. I took a deep breath and spelled it out. “Your life changed in an amazing way, and I’m happy for you, I really am.” At least, the bigger person in me was happy for him—the part of me that wanted what was best for Tieg no matter how much he’d hurt me, the part of me that wasn’t drowning in self-pity and resentment. I drew in another deep breath to steady this surge of emotion that had nothing to do with Tieg’s desertion and everything to do with my mom’s.
No. I stopped that thought in its tracks. My mom didn’t abandon me. It wasn’t her fault she died.
“Hey.” Tieg reached out for me, his hands coming to my shoulders to steady me. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s going to be okay.”
I don’t know what he’d seen in my face—the sadness, the regret…the desperation. I shook my head. “It’s not, though. You…” I jerked away so I could wave a hand in his general direction. “You’ve moved on, Tieg. I haven’t. I—I can’t.”
His eyes moved over my face, scanning my features and seeing far too much. “What do you mean? Why can’t you move on?”
I looked down and let out a rough exhale. I couldn’t take the pleading look in his eyes anymore. I didn’t want to be the bad guy here; I didn’t want to be the one who was pushing him away. Still, he wasn’t going to let me off the hook until I explained. “I mean, you moved on…literally.” I lifted my eyes to meet his. “Your life is in New York, and Hollywood, and London, and Prague, and—” I sighed. Who was I kidding? I’d been paying way too much attention to his life and his whereabouts these past few years. “My life is here,” I finally said. “In Jordan Springs.”
Something hitched in my lungs as I said it aloud, ruthlessly squelching the image of that stupid, useless acceptance letter in my drawer. The moment I got home I was going to burn it. I had no idea why I’d been hanging on to it anyway.
Tieg thrust a hand through his hair as he frowned at me—I could see the confusion in his eyes and I hated it. I hated that even after three years he knew me well enough to know that my words didn’t jibe.
Sure enough, he finally broke the silence with a question I didn’t want to answer. “Don’t you want more?” he asked.
He knew I did. I looked away.
“Not now, obviously,” he said. “I mean, I know you have to graduate, but—”
“But what?” I snapped. My tongue tasted bitter, my insides felt like they were shriveling up inside me.
He narrowed his eyes, not seeming to notice my sharp tone as he peered into my eyes like he could read my thoughts…see my secrets. “I know you want more than this, Daisy.”
I snorted. “Wow, look who’s gotten condescending in his old age.”
“I’m not—” He shook his head. “Don’t try to change the topic. I’m not saying Jordan Springs is a bad place, but it’s not the only place. There’s a big world out there with art and music and jobs and—”
“Sounds lovely…for you.” I shifted away, coming to my knees to scramble toward the opening. “Come on, the reporters have to be gone by now.”
And I was done with this conversation. Everything he was saying was like acid in an open wound. I’d thought I’d come to grips with my new reality. I’ve had nearly two years to adapt to the idea that all my childish dreams of going off to school were just that…dreams. And now along came this guy—this guy who knew better than anyone how much I’d wanted that...once upon a time. Back when I’d believed in fairytales and true love and soul mates…back before I truly understood responsibilities and obligations.
“Daisy, please, don’t walk away from me.”
“Why not?” I shot back as I scrambled down the ladder. “You did.”
I heard his wince. It was a solid hit, straight where I’d known it would hurt him most. I hopped down that last step and landed with a stumble. Tieg was right behind me, and judging from the intensity of his expression, he wasn’t about to let this drop.
Stupid, stubborn Tieg. Still thinking he knew everything about me.
Still thinking he knew what was best for me.
“Daisy,” he called after me, his hand on my arm bringing me to a stop.
Stupid sensitive body. Still overreacting to the slightest touch by this guy.
I didn’t turn around, but he moved close so I could feel the heat of his chest against my back, his hands hovering lightly on my arms. Not trapping me, but supporting me. “Don’t you still want more?”
I squeezed my eyes shut. More than anything in the world I wanted to lean back against him. I could imagine the comfort, the ease, the absolute delicious pleasure of his weight supporting me, his arms closing around me, his low, familiar voice reassuring me that everything would work out. That he’d make it all work out.
Oh, how nice it would be to cave in to that urge. Instead, I straightened and then turned to face him, my chin tilting up with pride…and also so I could actually meet his gaze head-on.
Stupid height difference.
“Let’s get one thing straight,” I said. “You don’t get to have an opinion on me and my future and what I choose to do with it—”
“That’s not what I—”
“You’re visiting Jordan Springs,” I said. “This isn’t your home anymore, and I’m not your best friend.”
“You were never just my best friend,” he said softly. “You were always the one…the only one for me.”
I closed my eyes briefly and wished desperately I could block out the words as easily.
“You’re visiting,” I continued as if he hadn’t interrupted. “But this…” I gestured around us. “This is my life.”
He shook his head. “You always used to talk about living in a big city, about traveling the world and—”
“Well, I can’t do that now, can I?”
“Daisy, wait.”
I turned back to see he hadn’t moved at all. He
was still standing there, staring after me with a heartbreakingly dejected look. He might not have known how to walk away without cutting this connection, but I didn’t know how to stay behind without doing the same.
I tilted up my chin and met his gaze levelly. “We can’t all just take off and leave everyone else behind.” My voice was too loud in these quiet woods and the silence that followed those unkind, bitter words seemed to mock me.
There. I’d done it. I’d pushed him away…
Happy now?
No. No, I wasn’t happy. In fact, I’d never felt more miserable than I did as I turned to head back to the others.
Chapter Nine
Tieg
Jamie’s sigh over speakerphone filled the hotel room. “Some people might take that as a rejection.”
“You think?” I turned my head slowly to face the phone. I’d been lying here staring at the ceiling all morning, wallowing in self-pity and biding my time before I had to head to sound check at the venue.
And by ‘venue’ I meant the big field behind old McGregor’s property, where the concert was to be held.
“But not you,” she added, a note of delusional optimism lacing her voice.
I sighed. “No. Not me.”
My best friend knew me well. Maybe one of the reasons we’d clicked when I’d first met her in New York three years ago was because we were both delusional optimists. Her because she’d had a sheltered childhood, filled with the sort of luxury and lavishness befitting a princess, and me…
Well, there was only one reason I’d not only survived my rough childhood but come out of it an optimist. Daisy. She’d saved me. She’d given me love when no one else had; she’d seen potential in me when I hadn’t seen it in myself.
Now it was my turn.
“I have to help her, Jamie,” I said.
Jamie’s boyfriend Alex’s voice came over the speaker—from the background noise it sounded like they were in a car. “Dude, I know you want to help her, but it sounds like she needs some space.”
Jamie made a scoffing sound. “Ugh, don’t listen to Alex. He might be a skilled athlete, but he doesn’t know the first thing about relationships.” There was laughter in her voice as she said it, and I found myself grinning and shaking my head as they teased each other in a way that was both disgustingly sweet and just plain disgusting.
The Man, The Myth, The Nerd: High School Billionaires #3 Page 8