by Kim Karr
His hands went to my ass and he lifted me. Automatically, I wrapped my legs around him, and once I did, he carried me into the bedroom.
Inside, he set me down on the dresser and stood between my legs, his mouth back on mine, and taking my breath away.
He didn’t take my new bra off; he just yanked down the cup and took my nipple in his mouth.
I gasped and allowed my head to lull back. “Jaxson . . .”
He sucked harder, twirling his tongue against my nipple, making me wetter and wetter by the second.
“You taste delicious,” he groaned as he pulled down the other cup and took that nipple in his mouth. After he’d given both nipples equal attention, he pulled back and yanked his T-shirt off, revealing miles of hard, strong, male chest and muscles.
I didn’t think I could get enough of his naked torso.
He took me in, sitting in just my new bra and panties, and his pupils filled with lust as he eye fucked me.
I looked back at him, lust filling my gaze as well. “Take me to bed,” I begged.
He did, and without protesting my request.
When he picked me up and laid me down on the bed, he followed close behind. He settled on top of me, kissing me senseless, his hands traveling down my body and gripping my ass.
I raked my nails down his back and moaned, rocking my hips against his hardness.
“Please . . .” I begged.
He chuckled against my neck, and then lifted his head to look me in the eye when he placed his hand over my panties. “Tonight is your night. Remember?”
“How could I forget?”
He pressed a little harder and I tingled with a fuzzy warmth.
“So,” he drawled.
I licked my lips and blinked. “So, what?”
His fingers teased inside my panties and I knew I was so wet. “What do you want? It’s your call.”
“Screw it,” I said. “I’m giving my turn to you.”
That earned me a heartier chuckle than ever before. “What do you want, my sexy thief?” He kissed my neck and rubbed his fingers against my swollen and ready pussy.
I could feel my pulse everywhere. I pulled his head in the direction of my face so that he’d kiss me. “I want you.”
A groan of pure male hunger rumbled in his chest, and he crashed his lips to mine. “And I want you.”
The way he groaned it around our hot kiss made me think he meant more than just in this moment. That he meant forever.
Too bad there would never be a forever for us.
JAXSON
I DRANK COFFEE ON THE porch, watching a family of green monkeys jump from tree to tree.
I was shooting on the interior of the island today, away from the coast. Something I hadn’t done yet. I had to work with the shadows of the landscape, modifying them with a strategically placed screen that Sadie would be holding.
She was getting really good at this assistant gig.
I shot the cover photo nine days ago when we first arrived in Barbados and sent it to Kylie, my editor, yesterday.
She called me immediately. Said it was fucking fantastic.
That she loved the Egyptian necklace. Sadie had picked that out, and I’d had my doubts. It was big and brought your eyes right there. Sadie rolled her own eyes, telling me that was the point. “Eyes on the breasts, Sundance,” she quipped.
It was the first time since I told her that was my name, she’d called me that. I didn’t like it. To the world I was Sundance. To her I was Jaxson. I made sure she knew it.
Kylie also went crazy for the gold chain bottoms. Said they were the perfect balance for going with the topless option, the more edgy one. Then she added that the turquoise water was exactly what she wanted in the background.
Score.
I did it.
I wanted to fist pump.
I’d shot the cover for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. I was still having a hard time processing it. This would give me carte blanche to just about any job I wanted. What I wanted though, that was what I had no fucking clue about.
I’d gotten rid of my life, basically. Packed up, sold, stored everything. I was free, but I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted to be anymore.
I walked down the hill to the beach. At the bottom was the main road with beach houses and rum shacks on one side and the coast on the other.
The beach went on for miles and miles and was inhabited by massive limestone boulders that separated it into smaller sections. So incredibly different from Antigua and yet so alike.
Shading my eyes, I glanced upward. Surrounded by tropical gardens, Sea-U Guest House Bathsheba Barbados Hotel B&B was the perfect quaint hotel for this segment of the shoot.
Hammocks were strung lazily between coconut palms and provided amazing panoramic ocean views. Everything was laid back and off beat. Nothing fussy or too elegant.
I glanced ahead and watched the waves break on tremendous limestone rocks. We were far removed from the hustle and bustle of the real world. And I knew I could get used to this kind of life.
But real life awaited me.
I pulled out my phone and called Finn. He’d called me last night and left me a message that he’d found something I wasn’t going to like and to call him back. He was in California now, training, and I knew I was going to wake him, but I had a shoot all day and didn’t want to wait until tonight to find out what he knew.
The call struggled to connect.
I looked over at the beach. There were tide pools the size of small swimming pools, and I saw a young couple with a baby soaking in the turquoise waters. It was the first time I ever thought of having a family of my own. Not even with Jules had I ever imagined children.
I did now.
“Hey,” he said into the phone, sounding surprisingly alert.
“Hey, man, sorry I missed your call last night, I was—” I let the words trail off. I couldn’t tell him I was busy fucking the girl I couldn’t seem to get enough of.
Finn didn’t ask me what I was doing. “Don’t worry about it. Listen, I don’t have a lot of time. I have to meet my trainer in ten.”
“Yeah, I know you’re busy and I really appreciate the effort you’ve been putting into this.”
“I wish I had more time because after pulling footage from that pawn shop in Miami of Sidney McRay, I ran his face through some facial recognition software, and guess who Sidney McRay is?”
I ran a rough hand through my hair. “Who?”
“Simon McCoy.”
“Mother fucker. What was he doing in Miami selling my camera?”
“Isn’t that the million dollar question? He’s either a real dumb shit or a very smart fucker. I’m not sure which. I’m also not sure if either of those names are actually his.”
Sadie Banks. Sarah Barnes. They were both his. I knew it. It was his MO. “His real name is Simon McCoy for certain, but I don’t think that means shit.”
“Me either. This could be just one of many identities he’s been living under. Look, I’m sending you his picture and what I found on this Sidney McRay—last address, places of work, vehicle registration, bank account, and I even got his credit card charges.”
“Thanks, man, I really appreciate this.”
“One more thing,” he said.
“Yeah.”
“I was able to breach the hospital server. And although I found a Riley Houston, I had a really hard time reading the medical records. I did the best I could navigating through it. The thing is, Sundance, I didn’t see anything about a spinal injury or a surgery.”
“But he was in the hospital?”
“Yeah, for sure. Of course, I had no idea what the fuck I was reading and I got booted out before I could finish looking around. However, I did see an address for the family. I’ll try to find it again and send it later. You know Jake is back, and I was thinking you could call him. Ask him to take a look and interpret it.”
Shit, I hadn’t even given my ex-fiancée or her new husband a
second thought. It was the first time his name didn’t feel like tiny shards of metal being shoved under my fingernails. “No, I hate to get him involved.”
“Yeah, I know. Just a thought. I’ll keep at it and let you know if I find another way in. Gotta run.”
“Bye, man. See you.”
I hit the disconnect button and watched as someone cheered on a dog that had dove in the water.
Simon McCoy or Sidney McCray, or whatever the fuck he was called, had a life in Miami.
Money.
A car.
An apartment.
The question was why had he lied to Sadie?
And how the fuck was she going to accept that he had?
One of the young men who worked at the B&B was dragging a paddleboard toward me. “This is big enough to land a plane on,” he said, by way of invitation.
After days of watching everyone else stand up on a board, I decided what the fuck did I have to lose.
With the sun beating down on me, I attached the leash to my ankle, swam out in the water, and hurled myself onto the board with all the grace of a sea lion. It was in those few short moments that I managed to find my balance, that I knew what I had to do to make Sadie see the light.
And she wasn’t going to like it.
SADIE
THE BREAKS IN BARBADOS MAY not be on the same level as the Gold Coast of Australia, but that didn’t stop the tourists from surfing.
Me. I preferred wading.
My feet found the hard-packed sand the last wave had left behind. I curled my toes into the grooves. A glimmer of white foam appeared, but the water didn’t reach me, not yet.
I took a dragging step, letting my feet guide me so I wouldn’t come down on any sharp shells. Another step forward led me to even wetter sand.
The rush and roar of the waves threw spray up into the breeze, and I welcomed it upon my blazing skin.
The water was warm as it kissed my ankles.
Laughing, I bent to let it flow over my hands, my wrists, my elbows. Finally, I knelt, soaking myself in the Caribbean sea.
Cleansing myself.
I wanted to stay like this forever and never go back to where I’d come from but that was a wild fantasy made of fluffy white clouds. The reality was my time was coming to a very quick end, and I had to start preparing myself for the whole rock-meet-bottom thing I was going to be stepping into. Following my father’s footsteps, after all.
Step 9: Make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Getting to my feet, I made my way toward the shore. I would be accountable for what I’d done. I had to be.
The warm breeze felt good on my skin, and I took a moment to look up at the sky.
It was so blue.
I wondered how often you were allowed outside in prison. When would I be able to see something this beautiful again?
I held back my tears.
I would not feel sorry for myself.
I had made this bed, and now I would force myself to lie in it.
My eyes fell to my wrist. The rainbow of hope. The symbol of hope. Balance. Good luck. Of a brighter future. I hoped I had one. Some day.
Shaking off the sadness, there would be plenty of time for that later, I wrapped a towel around myself, slipped on my sandals, and then hiked up the hill to the bed and breakfast. We had a late shoot today, but I had gear to pack, so it was time to get ready.
The white clapboard buildings with wooden hurricane shutters were nestled together. The main plantation-style house in the middle and the guest cottages dotted along either side of it.
As soon I unlocked the door to our top-floor bedroom suite in the main house, I saw him on the bed. Dark head down. Elbows on his knees. His indigo stare rose, but the light that had been in it for weeks looked diminished. Like something had snuffed it out.
The coral tropic décor suddenly seemed so icy, and I felt a pang in my heart. Something wasn’t right.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, closing the door behind me. It squeaked, and so did the floors as I slowly made my way toward him.
Jaxson got to his feet, and his straight, rigid posture made him appear all-powerful. “I’m only going to ask you this once, Sadie. Do you understand me?”
That dominance he always exuded turned dark, and I choked on my breath. “Yes.”
His jaw twitched. “Has this whole thing been a lie?”
Bile rose up my throat. I wanted to turn and run, my fight-or-flight instinct kicking in, but I fought it. What was going on? I thought we were past this. “Nothing I told you was a lie. I told you everything. I told you the truth. You know that!”
His burning glare never left my worried stare. “Are you sure? Absolutely certain.”
I gulped. “Yes.”
“Well, it turns out Simon is Sidney, and he could have afforded to pay for that operation twice over. He didn’t need my cameras or my money, or you.”
My knees threatened to give way, and I sat on the bed with my hands under my legs to stop their shaking. “That’s not true. He had nothing. He told me so, or he would have helped.”
Jaxson tossed his phone beside me on the bed. “Read this,” he gritted out, his nostrils flaring.
Hesitantly, I picked it up.
Blood whooshed in my ears as I thumbed through the photos and documents attached to an email his friend Finn had sent.
It took me a few long moments to process what I was looking at. According to these papers, Simon, or rather Sidney, as was evidenced by the pawn store footage, owned a Mercedes, had over two hundred thousand dollars to his name, and owned a condo in Coral Gables.
Rage tingled up my spine. Coral Gables. The wealthiest area in Miami. Miami.
My fists clenched together as I fought for air. I wanted to kill him.
Why hadn’t he just given the Houstons the money?
Why make me do all this?
I glanced up and caught sight of Jaxson’s expression, which had morphed from pure anger into a taut frown. Don’t get me wrong—it wasn’t softer by any means. I swiped the tears from my eyes as fast as they fell and the word slipped out. “Why?”
“Why what, Sadie?”
We were past this, and I wasn’t going backwards. Standing up and crossing my arms, I pinched my lips together to stop myself from shouting when I spoke. I knew he didn’t mean what he said, but it still hurt. “Why did Simon lie to me about his situation?”
“Are you sure he was the one lying?”
My entire body trembled. “Yes! I’m sure. He lied, and I want to know why.”
From the stance he’d taken against the wall, he studied me like he had that first night in Antigua. And just like that night, I allowed him to. When he was done with the whole brooding thing, he muttered, “It’s pretty fucking obvious.”
Yes, it was. Simon, the thief, had become Sidney, the thief, and the worst part was I should have never believed him when he told me he’d reformed. Was he even really going to be running Moongate, or was that a lie, too?
I opened my mouth to tell Jaxson about Simon and his thieving ways, but didn’t have the courage. I felt like a fool.
His glare was harsh, those blue eyes hard enough to cut diamonds.
I couldn’t take the coldness any longer. I knew beneath the shell was a warm man who cared. I just had to remind him. I got to my feet, taking small challenging steps in his direction. “Stop treating me like I’m lying. You know I’m not.”
He took a moment to examine me, his eyes burning as he scanned me from head to toe, as if he was sizing me up. “Then stop acting like you don’t see the writing on the wall pretty fucking clearly.”
I halted in my movement. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re living in denial.”
My stomach somersaulted, and I looked at him with my mouth hanging open. “I’m not in denial.”
He pushed off the wall and headed in my direction. “Yes. You. Are. Simon McCoy is
a psychopath who enjoys benefitting from other people’s misery. Face it.”
I closed the distance between us and pointed my finger right at his chest. “You might be right, Jaxson Cassidy, but you’re also being a dick.” I turned and started for the bathroom.
Step 10: Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it.
He grabbed my wrist and pulled me flush against his body. “Where are you going?”
I refused to look at him. To give him one more second of my attention than I needed to. “To get dressed so I can prepare for the shoot today.”
I wanted to text Simon and ask him about all of this, but something in my gut told me not to. To let the quiet between us remain that way—for now.
Jaxson leaned down, his voice gruff and low. “I already packed everything.”
I stared at him and really thought I was going to break down. I needed that task to occupy my mind. It was my job, not his.
He went on. “I want you to toughen up, Sadie. Stand your ground when you know you’re right. This asshole is up to something, and I promise you I’m going to find out what. And then I’ll make him pay.”
I shook my head and looked at my bare toes. “But Jaxson, that’s just it, he isn’t up to anything. And even if he is, it doesn’t matter. I hit that kid. Not him. It was me. I’m the bad one.” My voice was shaking, and I hated that I couldn’t keep it together, but every time I thought about that night, I remembered the way Riley’s body skidded off my car with a thud and I wanted to throw up all over again.
Gathering my wet hair with his fingers, he pulled it down and forced me to look into his indigo eyes, which swirled with a darkness and a light I didn’t understand. “It was an accident, and you made the wrong choice by not reporting it. But you can’t keep punishing yourself for it. I won’t let you.”
What was he saying?
That he didn’t want me to turn myself in?
I wasn’t going to ask him that. I didn’t have to. He was blaming Simon. Sidney. Whoever the hell he was. But Jaxson was wrong. Regardless of what Simon was or was not, it was me driving that night, not Simon.
Before I could think too much about what Jaxson meant by, “I won’t let you,” he ripped the towel from my body, and it dropped to the floor. “The next time you refer to yourself as bad, you’re not going to like what happens to you. Understand?”