by Kim Karr
His face twisted into a snarl. “You didn’t deliver, so he didn’t have the operation.”
“How is he?” I asked, bile rising up my throat.
“In a wheelchair. He’ll never walk again.”
My entire body started to tremble, and I stumbled backward down the steps. As soon as I stood on the wooden dock, I exhaled, squeezing my eyes shut. I kept them that way for a long while, and then I opened them slowly, blinking away the ushering tears.
Footsteps from above alerted me he was coming down. “Sadie, one more thing. I want the beach house. I’ll be in touch.”
I stepped back and back again. Before I knew what was happening, I fell into the water. Soaked, I managed to pull myself up. There was no sign of Simon, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
When I heard the powerful engines of Simon’s boat roar to life, I got to my feet. Even though I knew he was leaving, I started to run. My spine vibrated every time my sandals hit the wooden dock, but I didn’t stop.
I was wet and cold and scared, and I still didn’t stop running even when I reached the main road and horns honked. People were shouting for me to watch out, I didn’t care.
I ran and ran and ran.
It was all I could do.
Step 11: Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand Him, praying for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.
I found the beach, and still I kept running.
It was all I knew.
And it was what I had to do.
Alone.
JAXSON
THE SUN HAD SET HOURS ago, and I was going out of my fucking mind.
The ironic part of this screwed-up situation was that I couldn’t call the cops and report her missing because what if they were looking for her?
I ran a hand through my hair and pulled on it. I wanted to throw something, break something, anything.
I should have thought to ask Finn to check for that. Then again, I wasn’t sure he should be digging around criminal databases. Shit, if his cousin knew anything about his computer skills she’d lose her fucking mind.
His cousin. Not my ex. Things weren’t so black and white anymore. Her name didn’t sear a hole in my gut or make my heart feel black. And I knew why. It was because whatever was going on with Sadie had replaced or rebuilt or maybe even built from the ground up something entirely new and different.
Sadie.
Where the fuck was she?
I’d spent the last six hours combing St. George for her. Up and down every street. In and out of every shop, restaurant, and bar.
She was nowhere.
I’d come back to the room hoping she’d returned or called or left a fucking message in a bottle. Anything.
There was nothing.
I grabbed my keys and tromped down the steps. It wasn’t like she could leave the country. Her fucking passport was here. I was going back out, again. And I’d do it again and again and again until I found her.
She had to be somewhere.
The tightness in my chest only increased when I thought about the fact that she had no wallet, no money, and no phone.
Why the fuck had she ran?
What had she seen?
I was halfway down the hill when I spotted her huddled against the break wall. Water was dripping from her hair and clothes and she was shivering. I think my heart stopped beating.
“Sadie.” Her name came out hoarse, rough, in a voice I didn’t recognize as my own.
I rushed to her and squatted down. Her head was hung, and she had her arms wrapped around her legs. Gently, I placed my hands on her shoulders. “Sadie,” I said again, and it sounded just as strangled as it had before.
Her gaze swung up to meet mine, and I saw all I needed to see—fear and grief and despair. Something terrible had happened. That much I knew. What, I hadn’t a damn clue.
“Sadie, sweetheart, talk to me. Where did you go?”
She pushed the hair that was hanging over her eyes away and looked anywhere but at me. “Jaxson, I didn’t want you to see me like this. I need some time to pull myself together. I’m stronger than this.”
I stroked her face with my palm. “You don’t have to be strong for me. Talk to me. Tell me what happened.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. It’s too bad.”
“Tell me! Did someone hurt you?”
“Not physically. I fell in the water, but I’m fine.”
Fell? My head was buzzing. My body was buzzing. I was feeling out of control. I was feeling like I’d never felt in my life. Helpless.
This time I cupped her cheek to look up at me when I spoke. Demands weren’t going to get me anywhere. “Please, tell me, sweetheart. What did you see? Talk to me.”
Her eyes went wide and she started mumbling about a diary. A bigger plan. Moongate. The accident. Secrets. The money. Her voice was getting higher. Her tone more frantic. It was all coming out so fast and none of it made any sense. But I let her talk until she couldn’t talk anymore because her hysteria had overtaken her.
Nothing she had said made any sense.
I slid my hands down her arms and hated the way her body trembled. Everything about her was icy cold and I thought my pulse was going to explode through my temples.
Forcing myself to remain calm was the hardest thing I’d had to do in a very long time, especially since all I wanted to do was scream, “Where the fuck have you been?”
“Come on, babe, let’s get you inside and cleaned up, and then we can talk,” I whispered.
She shook her head, her arms clutching herself. “I need to leave. I need my passport. I have to go back to the States.”
My heart was about to beat out of my chest. “We’re both going back in nine days, Sadie.”
“I can’t wait that long. I have to go now.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
She grabbed my arms and squeezed with a strength I didn’t know she had. “This is my life, Jaxson!”
I glared at her and took her hands in mine. “And you don’t think it’s mine?”
Her voice had settled and her wounded eyes stared at me. “It’s not the same, and you know it.”
There was a sheen of tears making her eyes shiny in the glare of the moonlight, and my own eyes burned. “You have to tell me everything, Sadie. I can’t help you if I don’t understand.”
Tears glistened in her eyelashes and ran down her cheeks. “It was Simon I saw on the street this afternoon, and I ran after him.”
My heart stopped beating. Motherfucker. I wanted to pound something. Him. I drew in a ragged breath and forced myself to keep my anger in check. “And you caught up with him?” It was a very likely assumption.
“Yes.”
“Where?” My voice was forceful and I told myself to tone it down.
“On a yacht in the marina. A yacht called Moongate,” her laugh was harsh. “He had a freaking yacht. I couldn’t believe it. I had to know what happened to Riley, so I went aboard.”
My heart started beating again and I swore I could hear the thump, thump, thump, right out of my chest. “What happened after you boarded?”
“It’s all such a blur. He was so cold. Not the friend I thought I had. I didn’t even tell him I knew he was Sidney.”
“Why not?”
A gut-wrenching sob tore from her throat when she looked up at me. “Because it didn’t matter. He told me he didn’t give Riley the money and now he’ll never walk again. And it’s all my fault.”
Grief was so thick in her voice that she choked on every word. I wanted to kill the motherfucker with my bare hands.
As gently as I could, I scooped her in my arms. “Sadie, I’m so sorry.”
“Jaxson, I have to go see him.”
There was something in her voice that made me go cold from the inside out. I didn’t want to lose her, but in that moment I knew I never really had her. I couldn’t. She belonged to her past and until she faced it, she
could never truly be mine. “I know you do, sweetheart, and you will. Just not tonight. Tonight you need to rest.”
I carried her up the hill and up the stairs to our room. She was shaking and cold and I marched right into the shower. Turning the hot water on, I stepped in the spray with her still in my arms.
Her dead eyes widened when she realized what I’d done. “Jaxson,” she started to protest.
“Shhh.” I set her down and took her face my hands. “Let me take care of you, if only for tonight.”
We were both shivering as I carefully removed her clothes and placed her directly under the showerhead. Then I shed my own clothes and pulled her tight to my body.
Heat swelled around us, warming us, but still, we both trembled. I kept her in my arms like that until the water started to chill. Cranking off the valve, I grabbed for a towel and wrapped her tightly.
Back in the bedroom, I put one of my T-shirts over her head and then tucked her under a mountain of blankets. “Are you warm enough?” I asked.
She nodded.
Over at the coffee bar, I found some teabags and selected the peppermint flavor. I put the kettle on before I bothered to put some pants on.
Once it started to hiss, I poured the steaming liquid and swished the bag around like I’d done for my mother for so many years. Tea was her cure to a hangover for as long as I could remember.
I sat beside her and surprisingly she sat up. I handed her the cup and then stroked her cheek with my knuckles. “Do you want to talk about today?”
She took a sip from her cup and sucked in a deep, steadying breath. “He is exactly who you thought he was—a psychopath. And the worst part is you knew that without knowing the whole truth.”
My gut tightened. “The whole truth?”
She shifted so she could look me in the eyes. “He had been stealing since he was a kid. He tried to teach me for years but I refused. How could I have been so stupid to not see that was what he was doing to me?”
I looked at her, anger burning like fire in my gut. This wasn’t the time.
“Stealing,” she whispered. “Only Jaxson,” she paused, “he wants more than all of my personal belongings.”
I bit back any harsh outburst, but I hated that she held back the truth. It certainly added a whole new level of deceit to the picture. One I had yet to fully process or comprehend. “What else could he possibly want?” I asked.
“My soul,” she cried.
I shook my head. “He can’t take your soul, love.”
Her eyes became wild. “I think he already has.”
And I knew she believed it.
JAXSON
ANGER WASN’T EVEN AN EMOTION I could feel.
Something sinister was in the works. I think she was right—Moon Island harbored secrets, and her old man and his two friends were part of those secrets. The thing was, secrets usually died when those who held them passed.
In this case, it was painfully obvious Simon was seeking revenge against Sadie. I mulled over the things she had said. At the time they hadn’t made sense, but things were becoming clear.
The one piece that didn’t fit was Riley Houston. It was way too convenient that Simon had been in her car that night.
I glanced at the time. It was past eleven. Too late to make a call to the States. I’d dial that number in the morning.
I looked down. Sadie had fallen asleep in the safety of my arms. It was the first night we hadn’t fucked or slept naked before going to bed since we started this illicit affair. One that came from being a mark, a victim, and turned into something so much more.
I was itching to go confront that motherfucker and find out what kind of sick game he was playing with her life, but I didn’t want to leave her alone. I was torn. In the end, I closed my eyes and decided to stay.
I’d find him tomorrow after the shoot I’d rescheduled from today. Finding a yacht, after all, wasn’t going to be that fucking hard.
I awoke with a jolt when I heard her questioning scream, “Jaxson?”
“I’m right here.” I tightened my hold on her.
“I think someone is in our room,” she whispered, her voice shaky and uneven.
Bolting upright, I flicked the dim light on beside me and searched the room with my eyes. No one was in here. She was dreaming, or rather, having a nightmare. I lowered my body back down and pulled her tight against me. “No one is in here. I promise.”
“Are you sure?”
I kissed her head. “Positive. You’re safe with me.”
She snuggled deeper into me. “Jaxson?” Her voice was soft.
“Yeah?”
“Do you think it’s possible to be both good and evil?”
“Sadie.” My voice was a warning.
“I don’t mean me. I mean in general.”
She was a terrible liar. “No, I don’t. If you’re good, you’re good. But if you’re evil, you’re truly evil. You don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone but yourself.”
“You can say that because you’re good.”
I stroked her face, which was nestled against my shoulder. “No, I can say that because it’s the fucking truth.”
She stayed quiet for a while and I thought she’d fallen back asleep, but then she slid her hand down my stomach and into the waistband of my pants to gently cup my balls. My cock went hard in an instant.
The way she held them in her palm told me she was waiting for me to tell her it was okay. I wanted to demand she use more force. Do it like she meant it. Better yet, that she get on her knees and suck me dry. And then order her to do it again, and again, denying her the sweet pleasure of her own orgasm for leaving me today. For making me worry. For putting herself in danger. “Sadie,” I warned instead, “you need some sleep.”
She shifted, lifting her chin to meet my gaze. “I want you.”
I shook my head. “Not tonight. You need to get some rest.”
Her hands trembled as she raised them to my face. “Why don’t you want me?”
I closed my eyes, inhaling deep as her dejected words washed over me. Denying her anything was difficult, but denying her sex was impossible.
Gently, I untangled myself from the sheet and pushed up to one elbow to hover above her. “I always want you, Sadie.”
Tears glittered brightly in her eyes, but I knew she was struggling to usher them away. “Then now is the time to prove it. I need you so much more than I need sleep.”
My chest nearly exploded as it tightened with a grief I had never known. After everything we’d been through, she couldn’t possibly think there would ever be a time I wouldn’t want her, no matter what she’d done. “Then we take it slow. You’ve been through too much today for anything else.”
She nodded and yanked her T-shirt up, exposing to me her naked body.
“My way,” I said.
She bit her lip and then a rueful smile graced her perfect pink mouth. “Your way, Frank Sinatra, always.”
I leaned down and claimed her mouth, my tongue finding hers in a heated rush that made me dizzy. I kissed down her neck and whispered into her ear, “I love you, Sadie.”
Her chest rose and fell with a gasp.
Those three words just came out. It wasn’t planned, but it felt right. She needed to know. There was no sense in trying to pretend I was okay that this thing between us would be ending very soon. I wasn’t okay with it. Not one fucking bit, and it took almost losing her to realize it.
“I love you, too, Jaxson Cassidy,” she whispered, a husky catch in her voice. “Now show me how much you love me.”
I wasn’t a man of many words. I’d said what needed to be said and showing her was so much easier than telling her, anyway.
Her hands tangled in my hair as I kissed my way down to her perfect tits. I licked and sucked them and felt an odd satisfaction when her entire body started to hum with excitement. I did this to her. Made her light up when I knew everything inside her right now seemed so dark.
I spread her th
ighs, opening her sweet pussy for me. I traced a finger down her delicate folds, opened her wider and stared at the way she glistened for me. I couldn’t imagine never having the taste of her on my tongue again. Didn’t want to. She was mine, and I was going to make sure she stayed that way.
I used the entire pad of my tongue to lick at her entrance and up her clit. Then I swirled delicately around her velvety soft nub.
She bucked beneath me and cried out.
I spread her thighs even wider and feasted on her like she was my last meal. She came with a cry, trembling and gasping. “Don’t stop, baby, not yet,” she whispered in a soft moan.
Baby.
It was a crazy thought, but I had never been anyone’s baby. Not even my mother’s when I was an infant. The affectionate term did something to my heart, and I swore that vital organ swelled right there.
I crawled up her body and hovered over her, holding my weight up off her with my forearms. “You called me, baby.” What the fuck was I, twelve? I wanted to take it back.
A beautiful smile curved her lips. “Yes, and you call me sweetheart and love and babe.”
I furrowed my brow. “No, I don’t. I call you thief.”
She lifted her head. “Yes, that too.”
That too? Did I really use those cutesy, ridiculous names when I spoke to her? Fuck, I really was too much, even for myself.
“Baby,” she whispered, pulling me down so I was flush against her body. “Make love to me.”
Make love.
Not fuck.
My head was spinning as I gently slid inside her, missionary style. I moved slow, my thrusts easy as I rocked, in and out, in and out.
Sadie hooked her ankles around my back and joined my rhythm. It was beautiful and magical and had every single one of my nerve endings firing up.
I found her mouth with mine, kissed her softly, sliding my tongue from one corner to the other, nibbling playfully at her lips as I did. She giggled into my mouth, and it was a sound I knew I’d never forget.
When her pussy contracted and clenched tightly around my cock, I went even deeper. I struggled not to plunge too deep inside her, but I lost the battle, my body taking over with the need and instinct to drive her wild.