by Susan Hayes
She stroked a finger over the spine of the nearest book. “Thank you. Really, thank you so much.” The words tumbled out of her before she could stop them. “I talked to Alayna today. She told me they’re not going to rebuild. Not there, anyway. I was sitting here wondering what I was going to do now and then you come and give me these. This is my new start, right here.”
“You’re very welcome.”
She looked around at the books, the tray of food, and back at him. “Why are you being nice to me? I appreciate it, but you can’t tell me you do this for all your patients.”
“Because I know what it’s like to lose everything,” he confessed.
“You’re talking about your chosen? Alayna told me she died. I’m sorry.”
“My story starts a little further back. My fathers were Alliance pilots. They loved space more than anything, including my mother and I. She knew it, but she loved them anyway. They never stayed on Earth for long, which was probably why I was an only child.” He shrugged, and for the thousandth time, he tried to understand what could possibly keep a father away from their child the way his fathers had done. Stars knew he couldn’t imagine leaving Annie behind for months on end.
“My fathers always promised they’d be home after one last mission, but every mission always led to another one. I was nine when we got word they wouldn’t be coming home ever again. They were killed in a minor skirmish with some raiders on the border of Alliance space. After that, my mother started to fade away. She went through the motions, but it was like living with a shadow. She was dead before I graduated from the Academy. The truth was I lost her the day my fathers died.”
Ciara blew out a soft breath. “So you built your own family, then had it ripped apart all over again.”
Vance nodded. “We still have Annie, though. She’s the center of our universe.”
“The center of my world was my clinic. That’s why the black mood. Rebuilding everything seems a little daunting right now.” She shrugged and stabbed her fork into her mashed potatoes.
“You have friends who would be happy to help you, Ciara. We’re only waiting for you to ask us.”
Her coral lips quirked up into a slight smirk. “You’re spending too much time with Alayna. You actually sound like her.”
“She gets in your head, doesn’t she? That’s why she’s so good at what she’s doing. You still thinking about joining her? I know she’d like you to stay and help.”
Ciara sighed. “Things need to improve, I agree. I’m proud of her for what she’s doing. I’m just not sure that’s what I should be doing with my life. I want to help people. Heal them.”
“And you can’t see yourself doing that from here?” Vance wanted to ask her why she’d left the Alliance to live in the badlands. He wanted to understand how she’d come to live so far away from her family, but it was too soon. She’d tell him when she was ready. At least, he hoped she would.
“Alayna’s family is here now. She’s got her bonded, and her foster father Sam has been here more in the last few months than he’s been out in the badlands. She’s doing all this because she’s got a foot in both worlds and is trying to find a way to bridge the gap. I don’t want to build bridges to my old life. I found myself out there.” Ciara jerked her thumb toward the window and to the badlands stretching out into the distance beyond.
“You can head back to the badlands once you’re ready. Until then, you’re going to be a guest of the Alliance, one way or the other.”
Ciara winced at the reminder of the other bit of bad news Alayna had given her. Unless she wanted to spend her recovery time in the same house as Regent Travers and his entourage, Ciara would be stuck at the medical center. “I don’t suppose your offer to let me out of here tomorrow would still stand if I weren’t staying with Alayna and her bonded? What if I was staying in guest housing instead?”
He shook his head. “I’d rather you not be alone yet. I take it you heard about the regent that’s coming to visit?” He grinned. “If it makes you feel any better, Griz and Ghost aren’t thrilled about it either. Nikolai is threatening to go off-planet to visit his sister.”
“That makes me feel a little better, yeah. If I’m going to be stuck here a while longer, then I won’t be the only one suffering.” She laughed. “That sounded really mean spoken out loud. I take it back.”
Dane and Vance had talked last night, and they’d decided to extend an invitation to Ciara. They’d spoken to Alayna and her bonded, as well as several of the farmers who had lived with her in Black Springs. All of them had confirmed what Vance already believed. Ciara Fanning was a good, honest, kind person who gave selflessly of herself and her abilities.
“There’s another option. You could stay with Dane and I until you’re back on your feet.”
“Stay with you two?” The offer left her wide-eyed.
“Until you’re back on your feet, yes. Or if you’d rather, you can move to Alayna’s as soon as the regent and his group are gone. We’ve got one of the new places Colin had built for officers with families, and it’s huge. We have rooms to spare, and Alayna’s house is right across the street. It won’t be quiet, though, not with a two-year-old running amok.”
“I could help out with Annie,” she offered.
“I’m sure she’d love spending time with you, but it’s not necessary. This is a strings-free offer, Ciara. You need a place to stay, and we have room. Plus, this way I can keep an eye on you while you finish recovering.” He grinned. “The food’s better, too. Among other perks, we have a top of the line food console and a couple of household bots gifted to us by Nikolai as a housewarming present. You won’t have to lift a finger.”
Ciara wasn’t sure how to answer. Her life had taught her that it was safer to rely only on herself. She helped others, but asking for help was not something she did easily, or often. She also knew it was a habit she needed to break. These were good men, and she’d be a fool to turn down their offer.
The deciding factor was a simple one. These were Alayna’s friends. If she trusted them, then so could Ciara. “I’d like to stay with you and Dane and Annie if everyone agrees it’s okay. And I meant what I said before about helping with Annie. That is if you’ll trust me to take care of the center of your universe.”
“Alayna vouched for you. So did everyone else we talked to. We didn’t make this offer lightly, Ciara. We trust you, and we want to help you.”
“You probably shouldn’t trust me with Annie. I don’t know a thing about kids. I might mess her up for life.”
“Dane and I didn’t know anything in the beginning. Lucky for us, Annie’s more durable than she looks.” Vance was damned happy she’d agreed to stay with them. If Annie were the one in need, he’d hope like hell someone would do the same for her. If his offer happened to put Ciara under their roof and give them a chance to continue getting to know each other better, then that was a bonus he’d happily accept.
“If Dane and Annie say yes, when do I get out of here?”
“Let me get back to you on that. Eat up and get some rest. I’ll be back in a few hours, okay?”
She nodded. “You know where to find me. I’ll be right here, relaxing in my luxury, five-star suite.”
“I think we can improve on this at our place. No promises, though.” With that, he took his leave, eager to get to his office so he could contact Dane and let him know Ciara had agreed. Annie had already asked several times about visiting Ciara again, so they were sure she’d be fine with the arrangement. The only question was timing. Tonight, or wait until tomorrow? It was a question of how long it would take to get things ready. Vance headed down the hall with a spring in his step and smile on his face, feeling better than he had in over a year.
***
CHAPTER FIVE
“I am more than capable of walking across this parking lot to your shuttle,” Ciara protested as Vance pushed the wheelchair out the front doors of the medical center.
&
nbsp; “As your doctor, I’m going to disagree with you. Not to mention you don’t own shoes. There’s no way you’re walking barefoot through the rain five seconds after being released.”
She scowled down at her paper slippers, already splattered by a few stray raindrops. “Alayna was going to bring me some tomorrow. And a little rainwater won’t kill me. I go barefoot at home all the time.”
“That explains why you came in without footwear. I wondered why. Relax, you’ll be out of this chair in a few more seconds, and that will be the last time you have to follow protocol. You’ll be free.”
She turned her face up to the skies and let the rain fall on her face. “Thank the stars. I was so sick of breathing recycled air. I couldn’t even open the window.”
Vance chuckled. “They’re locked to make sure none of our patients sneak out in the middle of the night. Elites hate being cooped up in bed almost as much as you do, they’re just better at taking orders.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. I’ve never met a meek, obedient elite. My brothers certainly didn’t fit that description, and they’re both career Alliance, like you.”
“Did you see much of them before you left?”
“Not much,” she admitted. “They didn’t come home often, and when they did, they didn’t have time for me.”
“And now you don’t have time for any of them. Their loss.” He stopped beside a newer model, silver shuttle, opening the doors and activating the onboard computer with a touch of his thumb to the bio-lock. Ciara did her best to look unimpressed, but it wasn’t easy. The vehicle was worth more than she could possibly earn in her lifetime.
“This is your ride?” she asked.
Vance actually looked a little sheepish. “It is, yeah. It’s a bit much for my taste, to be honest, but it’s the safest vehicle on the market.” He paused and his expression morphed into one of grim determination. “Annie’s mother died in a shuttle crash. Afterward, we both agreed safety came before anything else.”
“Annie’s worth it, huh?” she said, feeling guilty for her inadvertent misstep.
“She is. She’s got us both wrapped around her little finger.” He turned away from her to open the passenger door, presenting Ciara with a tantalizing glimpse of his ass.
It was the first time she’d seen him without his white coat on, and he looked even better without it. His uniform fit perfectly, emphasizing every muscular inch. “Annie’s a lucky girl. She’s got two big, strong soldiers watching over her and doting on her every move. I know plenty of women who wished they had it so good.”
Vance turned back around so fast she barely had time to drop her head. Shit! Please don’t have noticed I was staring at your ass.
“I’m going to guess you aren’t one of those women. If you wanted to be doted on by a pair of men, you wouldn’t live so far from civilization. Trios aren’t the norm out there yet, are they?”
“There are some trios. Mostly couples, though. And life out there doesn’t really leave much time for doting of any kind.”
Ciara set her hands on the arms of her wheelchair and eased herself out of it with care. She was almost completely recovered, but she didn’t want to give Vance any reason to rethink her early release. It might only be one day earlier than he’d suggested, but as far as she was concerned, every minute of freedom was a gift to be cherished.
He offered her his hand, and she took it, using his strength to help her balance as she climbed in and settled herself into the luxuriously soft seat.
“Comfy?” he asked.
“This is even better than the med-bed I’ve been stuck in for the last few days. Maybe you should consider switching the beds out for these chairs.”
He laughed at her suggestion. “Not in my job description. Maybe you can try to convince Regent Travers while he’s here.” He closed her door and pressed something on the handle of the wheelchair. It started to chime a proximity alert as it drove itself back to the medical center.
“Self-parking gizmos on the medical equipment? Seriously?” she asked as he climbed into the driver’s side door.
He grinned. “Those are new. Have I mentioned how great it is to have a friend who happens to be part owner of a robotics company? Now Nikolai’s parents are out of the picture, he’s getting more involved again, including seeing to it the base gets some long overdue upgrades.”
Vance drove himself instead of letting the shuttle do it for him, heading out of the parking lot and across the base at a steady clip. Ciara had never been to this part of the base before, so she watched out the window as they drove past a number of ordinary looking buildings and a few Alliance personnel out despite the damp weather.
“It’s still hard for me to imagine Alayna with two rich, influential elites as her bonded. I’ve met her men before. I came into town as soon as I heard she’d been claimed. Her foster father, Sam, swore she was happy, but I needed to see it for myself.”
“Her life has changed, but I think she’s happy. I know Colin and Nikolai are.”
“She’s happy. Happier than I’ve ever seen her. And now she’s got her father coming to stay with her! So much has changed, it’s hard to fathom sometimes. She wants me to meet him. Her dad. I have no idea what I’d say to the man.”
Well, now he knew why Alayna had casually suggested Vance convey the invitation he’d gotten early today. The three of them were invited to a party at the end of the week. It was going to be a formal event, and he got the sense his new houseguest wasn’t going to be thrilled by the news. She didn’t seem the type to thrive at that sort of event. He decided to put off mentioning it until tomorrow. Why ruin her first hours of freedom?
The silence went on for a few seconds and then Ciara fixed her pretty hazel eyes on him. “You’re not telling me something. What is it, Doc?”
Fuck. What was she, a mind reader?
“Uh, there’s a small chance your friend has invited all of us to a formal dinner party for her father while he’s in town.”
She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “A small chance, huh? Is it too late to have a relapse? She can’t make me go if I’m in the med-center, right?”
“The only way I’m going to let you readmit yourself is if you let me have the bed next to yours. I have a strict policy of only donning my dress uniform once a year, and I had to put it on for Nikolai and Colin’s claiming ceremony. If I have to go to this thing I have every intention of dragging you with me. It’ll make the evening bearable if I know I’m not alone in my misery.”
She shot him a sideways look he couldn’t quite read. “You won’t be alone. You’ll have Dane for company.”
“Dane is a social butterfly. He’ll make the rounds, charm everyone, and completely forget I’m there until it’s time to go home. I swear the man was a socialite in a past life.”
Ciara snickered. “And you hide in the corner with a drink and a plate of appetizers and pray for it to end quickly?”
“Exactly.” He nodded.
“Then you have yourself a date in the corner. I’m no good at these sorts of functions. My parents used to throw lavish parties and invite anyone they thought might be able to improve their social standing. The second my sister tested fertile they started putting her on display in hopes of snagging a pair of rich, influential bonded. My brothers both have chosen from powerful families, too.” She shrugged her slender shoulders. “I was their sole disappointment.”
It bothered him to hear Ciara speak about herself that way. She was kind, giving, and smart enough to survive in a hostile land. “If your family can’t see your value, Ciara, it’s their loss. Danny and Kyle owe you their lives. Their father told me about what you’ve done for Black Springs over the years. The people you’ve helped and the lives you’ve saved. People think you’re a hero.”
“I’m no hero. I’m not even a real doctor.”
Ciara had lost too many patients over the years to ever count herself a hero. She’d do
ne the best she could, but with limited equipment, only basic medications, and incomplete training, there was only so much she could do. Under the rubble of what had once been her home was a ledger holding the names of every man, woman, and child she’d successfully treated. At the back of the ledger was another list, this one containing the name of every patient she hadn’t been able to save. On the bad days, the ones when she questioned everything, Ciara read the ledger as a reminder she was making a difference. Out of everything she’d lost, it was the one thing she couldn’t replace.
Vance brushed a hand across her arm, startling her out of her thoughts. “You don’t have to be a doctor to save lives, and not even the greatest doctor in the galaxy could save everyone. We all lose sometimes. How you deal with the loss is what truly matters. You’ve lost everything, and you’re still standing. It may not be heroic, but it’s pretty fucking impressive.”
“In point of fact, I’m not standing. You made me sit in that dumb wheelchair because I don’t own shoes.” She stuck out her feet and wiggled her slipper-clad toes to emphasize her point.
“Well, I can promise you there won’t be a wheelchair waiting for you at my place.”
“No? You’re going to let me walk in on my own steam, bare feet and all?”
Vance chuckled. “I don’t think you’re going to have that option once Dane sees you shoeless.”
Ciara crossed her arms over her chest and gave him a warning stare. “What’s he going to do, carry me in like a sack of potatoes?”
“Something like that,” was his cryptic response.
“I’d like to see him try,” she muttered and turned her head to stare out the window again.
They headed into the bases’ housing sector, continuing up into the hills, high enough she could see glimmers of light from the town that was slowly growing up around Fort Saken. The houses here were newly constructed, with fresh paint as yet untouched by the elements, and carefully landscaped yards. Even the roads were newly paved without a single pothole or crack. Alayna had mentioned her bonded were arranging for new, family oriented housing to be built for Alliance officers, but Ciara hadn’t been back to visit since construction had finished. It struck her as funny that Alayna, who had been a homeless nomad for most of her life, now lived in one of these elegant homes. Fate was a strange thing.