Maybe she’d even tell him why.
26
At his homestead, blessedly out of range of TV and cell reception, Cody turned on the floodlights in his yard and spent an hour chopping wood. The chore had always been a stress reliever for him, and it was that night, even as he remembered the domestic let’s-be-a-family fantasies he’d had once before while chopping wood, before he and Cassie were even a thing.
He remembered teaching her to chop wood at the overlook on Nugget Hill, shortly after he’d told her they could only be friends. He spent some time considering whether he should have stuck to that decision—was it better to have loved and lost Cassie, or never to have loved her at all?—but by the time he’d worked himself to exhaustion and set down his ax, he still couldn’t answer the question to his own satisfaction. He’d been happy before she came along, and he knew he’d be miserable when she left. Yet the happiness he’d known with her was far greater than he’d known was possible.
He rinsed off with his near-freezing camp shower then called the dogs inside. He gave them extra ear scratches and belly rubs that night, not only because he’d been away from them for so long, but because they were his true companions. They were the ones who’d never leave.
After he was in bed and having trouble falling asleep in the late hours of the night, he turned on his ham radio and flipped through the channels. Several of the bands were taken up with old guys chatting; he moved on, pausing on the Golden Falls emergency dispatch channel. All seemed quiet, and he was about to switch it off when something made him perk up. A call went out for a fire on Cassie’s street—No, that was her address—and he bolted up.
The dogs stared at him, confused, waiting for a command.
“Stay,” he said, and they relaxed back down. “Guard the house.”
He was out the door in thirty seconds flat, driving toward town. He gunned the powerful diesel engine forward, going twenty over the speed limit, not caring. He’d gotten out of more than one speeding ticket in the past by showing his firefighter ID card, a professional courtesy, and tonight nothing would stop him from racing to make sure Cassie was okay.
When his phone finally picked up a signal, he saw he’d missed a call from Cassie.
He dialed her back, but she didn’t pick up.
Cassie dreamed she was trying to start a bonfire like Cody had taught her. It was windy, rainy, and in the dream she brought her face right up to the small stack of kindling, cupped her hands, and blew. A great puff of smoke came out, much more than she’d expected, and it grew black and thick and choking, enveloping her entire body until she couldn’t breathe.
She gasped awake and sat straight up in bed, the smell of smoke still in her nostrils. All was dark and quiet.
BEEEEP.
Cassie almost jumped out of her skin.
BEEEEP.
The fire alarms were going off. She leapt out of bed. The smoke was real. She turned on a light and could see it now, hazy, white, just a few wisps in the air.
“Fuck,” she muttered. She pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweater and slipped on her shoes, then grabbed her phone and headed for the stairs.
The smoke got thicker and darker as she descended. She put her sleeve over her mouth and nose and squinted. It was hard to tell where the fire was, but she knew she had to get out of the house immediately. Had she left a candle burning? Left the oven on?
No. She knew she hadn’t.
That meant the fire had been started deliberately, and with that realization, she felt a spike of fear that turned to a high, quivering anger. This was Doug. He was here. And he’d be lying in wait, ready for her as soon as she stepped outside.
She pressed the emergency dial icon on her phone.
“My house is on fire.” Her words came out in a rush. “My name is Cassie Holt, address is 12 Alpine Lane, and send police. I have a stalker and I think he started the fire—I think he wants to kill me—so please, send police!”
The dispatcher said, “First get out of the house, ma’am. And do you have anything to defend yourself?”
Cassie thought. And remembered.
Thank goodness for Cody and his prescient gift.
She kept 911 on the line, clutching her phone in her hand. When she bumped into something hard at hip level, she knew she’d hit the dining room table. Feeling around, she found the gift bag, reached in, and grabbed the canister of bear spray. From there she dropped to her hands and knees, clutching the canister in one fist, her phone in the other, and crawled toward the front door. The smoke was much hotter than she’d expected, and it seared her throat every time she took a short breath.
She reached up to unlock the door, fumbled with the deadbolt, and got it open. By the time she crawled out onto her front porch, she was coughing and gasping. Smoke poured out behind her as if trying to escape, too. Lungs aching, she crawled out onto the grass and at first she thought it was covered in ash. But the ash was cold, and she realized it was snow.
How about that, she thought inanely. I did last long enough to see the first snow of the season.
“Okay,” she said into her phone to the emergency dispatcher. “I’m out of the house and—Oof!”
Her abdomen exploded with wind-sucking pain. Her phone flew from her hand and landed on the grass, a black rectangle against the fine dusting of snow. As she reached for it, gasping, she saw a steel-toed boot coming at her again, this time aimed at her head. She ducked and turned enough so that the kick landed on her upper back instead.
“You thought you could get away from me.”
Doug stood over her, an all-too-familiar silhouette. She tried to crawl away, the bear spray tucked against her body. She was tempted to use it right then, but she knew she didn’t have the extra few seconds she’d need to use it effectively.
She needed those seconds.
“Fire department’s coming,” she panted. “Hear them?”
The sound of sirens had never been so welcome, even though they seemed to be a good distance away yet.
“You think your stupid boyfriend’s going to save you?” Doug laughed. “I saw him drunk at a bar earlier tonight. Shook his hand. I even took that call from you, Cassandra, while I was sitting next to him. He doesn’t deserve you. Forget about him.”
Cassie tried to scramble to her feet, but her shoes slid in the slippery snow, and the kick he landed to her stomach again had her sprawling.
“Why do you fight me?” he asked. “I don’t want to have to hurt you. To correct you. It’s our destiny to be together. I knew it the instant I saw you on TV in New York. It was like you were talking directly to me.”
Keep him talking, she told herself. Buy some time.
Where were her neighbors, anyway?
“You’re right. I was talking directly to you,” she said, looking over her shoulder at him while hunched on the ground, trying to get to all fours. The bear spray had a safety latch, and she fumbled it open, trying to hide from him what she was doing. “And I know we’re meant to be. But I’m too young. I can’t marry you yet. I need more time.”
Her unexpected response had stunned Doug into silence, confused him just long enough that she had time to turn on her knees to face him, point the bear spray at his face, and press down on the trigger.
A hard blast of fog came out, enveloping him. There was a split second pause, and then Doug’s hands flew to his face and he was gasping, choking, screaming. He fell to the ground, clawing at his eyes.
“Bitch!” he cried. It was strangely high-pitched. “Bitch!”
As he screamed, Cassie realized she was still depressing the bear spray trigger. She let up and backed away.
Bright red and blue lights flashed. Engine One had pulled up, the door opened, and then firefighters descended on the scene.
A man came over. His build was muscular and his eyes were kind, but he wasn’t Cody.
“Ma’am, are you okay?”
He approached carefully, and she could tell he was trying to piece together
what had happened.
She nodded and dropped the canister of bear spray. Doug was still on the ground.
Then she heard Cody’s voice calling her name, and she looked up to see him running toward her, so right and so true, and only then did she know that everything would be all right.
As long as Cody was there for her, everything would always be all right.
27
Cody couldn’t bring himself to release Cassie. But he looked over his shoulder at the man on the lawn, who was just getting to his feet, and with a shock of recognition and not-quite-surprise, he saw it was Douglas from the bar, the man he’d talked to earlier.
My lady and I are just passing through.
“Cassie,” he said “What’s going on? Who is that guy?”
She was trembling in his arms.
At that moment, he saw several police cars turn onto the street, pulling up behind Engine One.
“Cassie?”
Then he noticed the can of bear spray that had dropped to the ground. He put it together then, in flashes: He set the fire. Attacked her. She used the bear spray on him. Also, What the fuck is going on? What hasn’t she told me?
Cody found the motivation to let go of Cassie. He spun and marched toward “Douglas,” or whatever his real name was, and curled his hands into fists. He was about to kick the living shit out of this guy.
“Bradford!” The Engine One captain, from a different shift but still an acquaintance, emerged from the truck and shouted at him. “Let PD do their thing.”
Cody’s red haze of anger cleared just enough for him to notice the four officers who’d drawn their guns and were approaching Douglas.
He backed off reluctantly, but noted with satisfaction that the officers weren’t gentle as they handcuffed Douglas.
Seeing the man restrained brought Cody’s attention back to Cassie. He guided her to the sidewalk, away from the house, which was pouring a decent amount of black smoke, although there were no visible flames.
“No one else in the house, right?” he asked her.
“No,” she said. “Although I wish he was.” She nodded at where Douglas was handcuffed. “Can we put him back in there?”
The scene became busy and chaotic around them. Cody was vaguely aware that the ladder truck had pulled up, that Engine Three was on scene and pulling hose through the front door, and that two ambulances had arrived. For him, Cassie was the only thing that existed. Her face was covered in soot, and teary tracks streaked down her cheeks.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s get you taken care of.”
He helped her to an open ambulance, where she sat down. The paramedics helped her put on an oxygen rebreather. He took her hand and felt a return squeeze.
“I’ll go with you to the hospital,” Cody said.
She nodded. Her eyes didn’t leave his face.
He was desperate to know what was going on, but he didn’t want to push her. For one thing, it probably hurt to talk after inhaling smoke. But she pulled the mask off her face enough to speak.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said, her voice quiet and hoarse.
He waited for her to continue.
“That man was stalking me, and has been for almost two years.”
Cassie told Cody the whole story, starting with the short email exchange with Doug back when she was an intern. Saying out loud all the things she’d been subjected to was difficult, especially to see the disbelief, the anger, the sympathy in Cody’s eyes. That was exactly what she hadn’t wanted: to become an object of pity, of victimhood.
“So that’s it,” she said. “The real reason why I came here. It was the farthest away I could get from him and still keep my career alive, at least barely.” She shook her head. “Holt isn’t even my last name.”
“What?” He looked at her as if seeing her for the first time. As if she was a stranger. “You changed your name?”
“Holt is my grandmother’s maiden name. My legal name is Caldwell. Cassandra Caldwell.”
“And getting an Alaska phone number … what about your townhouse?”
“I leased it under Abby’s name.”
“Geez. Cassie. Did you go to the police in New York?”
“Yes. But I don’t even know his full name. Up until the day he picked me up in the fake rideshare car, I didn’t even know what he looked like.”
“Why didn’t you tell me any of this? You should have. I could have helped you. Looked out for you.” He frowned at her. “You could have died tonight, or—Cassie, don’t you know what that would have done to me? To lose you to—? I mean, I’m already losing you, but to lose you to violence? It would have killed me.”
Her eyes filled with tears, making a blurry smear of the flashing lights, black smoke, and Cody’s worried face.
“I didn’t want you to see me as a victim,” she said. “And I guess I wanted you and me—us—insulated from everything to do with him. I didn’t want him tainting that, too. I wanted to pretend he didn’t exist.”
“You should have told me,” he said again, shaking his head. “So the only reason you were here at all was because you were hiding from that nutjob.”
“It’s why I came to Golden Falls in the first place,” she admitted. She took a break from talking and let the oxygen rebreather do its job, watching the rush of emotions cross Cody’s face. She saw anger, relief, and disappointment—but most of all, she saw love.
I ran away from home, she thought. But I should never run away from love.
She pulled off the rebreather again.
“I haven’t been able to think straight for so long because of him, Cody. I haven’t been able to feel safe—except with you.” She watched as Doug was bundled into the back of a police car. “Maybe I can make my own decisions again, not based on fear anymore. I don’t even remember what that’s like.”
“Was your decision to leave Golden Falls based on fear?” She couldn’t read the emotion in his eyes. “Because you implied it was because of ambition.”
“Maybe it was both,” she said.
He didn’t reply, but his gaze was now fixed on the pavement in front of them.
“Maybe I’ll stay,” she said, floating a trial balloon she hoped he’d latch onto, but he shook his head. “Maybe if you asked me to, I’d stay.”
“I’d never do that,” Cody said. “I won’t stand in the way of your happiness.”
“It’s okay to ask a woman to stay,” she said. “Sometimes those are the words she needs to hear most.”
“I won’t do it,” he said resolutely. “Real love isn’t asking someone to stick around if they’re miserable. It’s wanting them to be happy, even if it means they’ll leave. Your time here’s done, Cassie.” He gestured toward the police car. “You’re safe now. You can go anywhere and chase your career.” He gave her a sad smile. “Just always bring your bear spray.”
28
When Cassie woke late the next morning, she pushed open the curtains and looked out over the city square, gasping at the postcard-perfect sight. The snow had continued falling, and white ribbon-like icicles now hung gracefully from the trees.
After being admitted, checked, x-rayed, and then released from the hospital, she’d insisted Cody take her to the Arctic Skies B&B. He’d done so reluctantly, pushing instead for her to stay at Bradford Homestead, but she hadn’t thought it a good idea. She’d begun her time in Golden Falls at the Arctic Skies, and the idea of ending it there had a certain symmetry that felt right.
Plus, she needed time away from Cody so she could think about him clearly.
With Doug in police custody, the urgency of Cassie’s leaving had abated. She canceled her flight that morning, which was refundable to KFLS. Her body needed time to recover from both the fire and Doug’s steel-toed boots, and emotionally she was a wreck. Not only because of the terror she’d experienced, but because some of Cody’s words from the previous night had hit her hard.
He wouldn’t ask her to stay. He was afra
id she would be miserable in Alaska, unable to deal with the hardness of life here, and what if he was right? What if she stayed for him, but ended up resenting him?
After surviving the shadow of Doug across her life, it didn’t seem possible. What she had resented was being forced to move by her stalker. Staying in Golden Falls now would be her decision, and hers alone.
And then she understood why Cady hadn’t asked her to stay. He knew she needed that free choice.
Chasing her career, he’d called it. But in the clear light of morning, it felt more like chasing her own tail. She may have run away to Alaska, but she’d discovered her unexpected true north here instead.
Cassie went down the narrow, ornate Victorian staircase wrapped in the cozy robe that had been in her room.
“Good morning, Shannon,” she said, finding her friend in the kitchen.
“Good morning, yourself,” Shannon said. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
“We do,” Cassie said. “It’s been crazy.”
“Come here.” Shannon wrapped her in a warm but not-too-tight hug. “You look like you need some coffee. Oh, and good news! The firefighters were able to save your luggage since you had it all set by the front door. My brother dropped it off a little while ago.”
“Awesome!” Cassie said. “Thank him for me?”
“You bet.”
“Is Tom on shift now?” she asked, really wondering about Cody.
“No, they work tomorrow. He just volunteered to bring it by, since he almost always stops in here in the mornings to chow down on the breakfast I make for my guests. He’s such a freeloader.”
Cassie sat at the small kitchen table with her coffee and watched Shannon knead dough to make bread.
“So I have a decision to make. I was supposed to leave this morning.”
Shannon looked at Cassie hopefully. “And you’re having second thoughts?”
True North (Golden Falls Fire Book 1) Page 21