by Beth Wiseman
“Gut. Take Lizzie with you and the two of you go do something. All this hovering makes a man nervous. I ain’t gonna die in this hospital; I already told you that. And I ain’t gonna eat any more of that mush they call food in here either.” Jonas swooshed a hand toward Sarah Jane. “Go, now.” He turned toward his wife. “The both of ya’s.”
Lizzie placed her knitting needle in her lap beside a blue roll of yarn. She leaned closer to her husband. “I love you, Huggy Bear. But you are a cranky old man when you are feeling down.”
Jonas grunted. “I’ve told you a hundred times since you locked me up in this place that I don’t feel all that bad.”
Lizzie stood up, leaned over and kissed Jonas on the forehead. “We’ll be back soon.” She pushed a fallen strand of gray hair underneath her kapp and walked toward Linda. She smiled and patted Linda on the back. “Enjoy your visit, dear. If we’re not back by tomorrow, you’ll know we’ve left him in your hands.”
Over the years, Lizzie’s sense of humor had begun to mirror Jonas’s. Linda suspected that to live with Jonas, a person needed to stay light on their toes and find humor in every circumstance.
“We wouldn’t do that to you, Linda. Not to worry,” Sarah Jane said to her before turning to Jonas. “Be gut, Pop.” She playfully pointed a finger in his direction, then she and Lizzie headed out the door.
Jonas rolled his eyes and grumbled. Linda walked toward him and sat down where Sarah Jane had been. “Are you in pain?” It was the one thing that scared her. Pain. She didn’t tolerate it well, and she didn’t like to see others suffering.
Jonas propped himself up taller in the bed. “Why didn’t you bring the chess set? I haven’t played chess since the last time you and me played.”
“I—I didn’t know if you would be well enough to play. But I can bring it next—”
“No, no.” He waved his hand in frustration. “There won’t be a next time.” He leaned closer to Linda. “I reckon they won’t be back for a spell, so you got plenty of time to get me out of here.”
Linda arched her brows in surprise and stifled a grin. “What?”
He edged upward in the bed even more. “I think they hid my breeches in that closet.” Jonas pointed to a cabinet on the far wall. “If you can fetch me those, I’ll worry about all these contraptions they have me hooked up to.” He paused and twisted his mouth to one side. “Might try to round up my shoes too. And a shirt.”
Linda realized that he might be serious. “Jonas, you can’t just leave. I reckon that’s not how it’s done.”
He worked his legs to one side of the bed, swung them over, and kicked Linda in the shin. “Es dutt mir leed,” he said, apologizing, but planted his feet firmly on the tile floor.
Linda jumped from the chair and put her hands on her hips. “Jonas, for sure you can’t seriously think I’m going to help you to—”
Jonas latched onto her arm. “The Englisch will kill me in here. I got a gut month or two left, and there ain’t no need for them to rush me on to heaven.” He released her arm and pointed to his own. “They got me hooked up to all kinds of mind drugs.” His brows cinched together in a frown as he shook his head. “There ain’t a need for all this. Yesterday, colorful flowers started blooming in the corner over there.” Jonas pointed to his right. “They were growing right out of the tile floor.” He sighed. “Now, Linda, I’m not a well man, but I reckon there ain’t no flower garden growing in that corner.”
“Jonas, have you told Sarah Jane and Lizzie all this?” She dropped her arms to her side in frustration. “You can’t just pull those tubes out and leave.” She shook her head.
Jonas reached for his straw hat on the nightstand and placed it atop his matted hair, then he stroked his beard. “They’re keeping me hostage, that daughter and wife of mine.”
Linda fought a grin. “Jonas, no one is keeping you hostage. Everyone just wants you to feel better. Don’t you want us to be able to play chess when you’re feeling up to it?”
Jonas scanned the room with glassy eyes. “Where ya reckon they’d put my suspenders? I’ve lost so much weight, mei breeches will fall plumb down to mei ankles.”
Linda hoped Sarah Jane and Lizzie would be back soon. “I think you better wait until Sarah Jane and Lizzie get back.”
Jonas grunted again. “Those two are the guards in this prison. They ain’t gonna help me one bit.” He looked up at Linda, his eyes serious. “I’m doing this with or without you. I thought I could count on you.”
She sat down and reached for Jonas’s hand. It had to be the medications that were making him act like this, a stretch even for him. “Jonas, you know you can count on me, but I’m sure we can’t just pull those tubes from you arm. That wouldn’t be safe at all. I know you don’t like it in here, and I—”
“Hello.” Linda immediately recognized the voice and spun around to face Stephen. Relief washed over her.
“I thought you had to work.” She released Jonas’s hand, stood up, and walked to Stephen, wishing she could fold herself into his arms the way she had last Sunday after the singing. Every time she thought about the kiss they’d shared behind the barn after he brought her home in his courting buggy, she went weak in the knees.
“The Englisch worker showed up after all, so Abner told me I could leave if I wanted. I got a ride from Mr. Lauder at the bank next door.” Stephen slid past her, but not before winking in her direction, which did cause one knee to buckle. His brown eyes were flecked with gold, like sun-kissed wheat in the field. Stephen’s hair changed colors with the seasons, and already his tawny locks were turning a golden shade of blond, which framed his bronzed face in the bobbed haircut Amish men wore. After working long days in the fields, his skin was already tanned, his hard work evident by the way his shoulders filled out his blue shirt. Linda loved everything about him. Stephen Ebersol was as wonderful on the inside, kind and unselfish, and always the first one to volunteer when the community needed someone to take on an extra project. Maybe that was because Stephen was the bishop’s grandson, but Linda suspected it could be something else.
Linda felt like Stephen worked harder than most, as if it might make up for the one thing he was particularly self-conscious about. He was born with one leg almost two inches shorter than the other one, and even though he had special shoes to even out his tall stance, he walked with a slight limp and couldn’t run very fast, something she knew had bothered him when they were younger.
Over the past year, they’d shared picnics, Sunday singings, and spent all their free time together, but when Linda suggested they go for a swim at the creek, Stephen made up an excuse not to go. She knew it was because he didn’t want her to see him without his shoes on, which would make him off-balance. The only thing off-balance was Stephen’s way of thinking. She loved him, and to her, he was perfect.
“Hello, Jonas.” Stephen extended his hand to Jonas.
“Stephen, you’re just in time.” Jonas latched onto Stephen’s hand. “Linda was just about to break me out of this jail.”
Linda tried not to giggle. Jonas was a mess sitting there on the side of the bed wearing nothing but his straw hat and a white hospital gown. She shrugged in Stephen’s direction, glad that Jonas was feeling good enough to behave in such a manner.
“Break you out of here?” Stephen smiled benignly. “Jonas, you know we can’t break you out of here.”
“Well, then—” Jonas reached for the tube running into his arm and Linda gasped. Thankfully, a voice erupted throughout the room.
“Jonas Miller, what in the world do you think you’re doin’?” Lizzie marched to his side, slapped her hands to her tiny hips, and leaned her face to his. “This is why we can’t leave you for a minute.”
Sarah Jane was quickly at her father’s bedside. “Pop, you’ll be glad to know that we ran into the doctor on the way to get kaffi, and they are going to release you, if that’s really what you want. But they won’t be able to monitor your pain as closely if you aren’t in the hosp
ital.”
“I’m not in any pain.” What little color Jonas had in his face when Linda arrived was quickly draining as he sat on the edge of the bed, and she noticed his hand trembling. Just sitting on the bed seemed to have zapped his energy.
“Pop, you will have to wait until the nurse comes in and unhooks you from everything. Now lie back down.” Sarah Jane helped her father back into bed. He grumbled but seemed to be relieved after he was on his back again. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
Jonas took a labored breath, then reached for his daughter’s hand. He spoke softly. “Take me home, Daughter. I want to watch the sun rise in the mornings and set in the evenings.” With glassy eyes, he turned to his wife. “Like I’ve done my entire life. It’s where I want to be.”
It was a side of Jonas that Linda had never seen, and she suddenly felt as though she were intruding on a very private moment. Worse, the realization of what Jonas meant punched her in the gut. Stephen’s hand brushed against hers, and he discretely looped his pinky finger with hers.
“All right, Huggy Bear,” Lizzie said tenderly. “You rest now.”
Sarah Jane was still holding her father’s hand, and Linda could see her eyes clouding with tears. “I’ll go check to see how much longer it will be before you can get released.” She blinked back tears, then turned to Linda. “Here, Linda. Come sit. Visit with Jonas while I go find the nurse.” Sarah Jane eased her hand from Jonas’s and motioned for Stephen to come closer. “Come over here. I’ll be back shortly.”
Linda sat down and Stephen stood by her side. “Maybe when you get home, you’ll feel like playing chess.” She tried to sound hopeful.
“A game of chess will be gut.” Jonas smiled, but Linda could tell it was forced, and she didn’t want him to have to make an effort like that for her sake. His eyes began to close, and after only a few moments, Jonas was snoring lightly.
“It doesn’t take much to tucker him out.” Lizzie gazed at Jonas, rubbing his forearm with her hand. She looked up at Linda and Stephen. “But I know it means a lot to him that you both stopped by.”
“We—we love . . .” Linda swallowed hard and fought to steady her emotions. Stephen put a hand on her shoulder.
“When you get Jonas home, if there is anything you need, anything at all, please get word to me, Lizzie.” Stephen’s warm smile matched his tone of voice.
Lizzie nodded. “We will have lots of help from everyone, I’m sure. Danki, Stephen.” Lizzie stared at her husband in a way that caused Linda’s heart to ache. Jonas is going to die.
“You children should go and enjoy this beautiful weather.”
It seemed clear that Lizzie wanted to be alone with her husband, and Linda felt like tears were going to spill over at any minute, so she and Stephen excused themselves. Linda just wanted to get in the hallway before she completely broke down in front of Lizzie.
Once outside the hospital doors, that’s exactly what happened. She folded onto one of the benches in the courtyard on the east side of the hospital and buried her face in her hands. Stephen sat down beside her and draped an arm around her shoulder.
“Did you not realize how sick Jonas is?” His voice was comforting, but his words stung.
She pulled her hands away, swiped at tears, and then turned to face him. “I guess not. Jonas has been sick for years, and somehow he always seems to get better.” She paused, sniffled. “Remember three years ago, when the doctors told him that he couldn’t attend Kade and Sadie’s wedding? They said he was too sick and made out like he was going to die any minute.” She shook her head and grinned. “But Jonas said he wouldn’t miss the wedding for anything, and he insisted Sarah Jane and Lizzie take him. Remember?”
“Ya, I remember.” Stephen took a deep breath, and with his free hand, he reached for hers and held it tightly. “Jonas is a fighter, but Linda—”
“Don’t say it. Just don’t say it. Jonas is so special. To everyone.”
Stephen nodded, gave her hand a squeeze, and they sat quietly for a few moments.
“How’d you get here? Barbie?”
“Ya. She’ll probably be here any minute to pick me up. She was going to run some errands.”
“I guess I’ll catch a ride too. Anything special you want to do the rest of the afternoon?” Linda snuggled closer, but Stephen pulled his arm from around her shoulder and put a tiny bit of space between them when two doctors walked into the courtyard, though he kept hold of her hand. Most men in their community weren’t comfortable with much public affection, and Stephen was no exception.
Linda twisted slightly to face him and wished they could just go somewhere, anywhere, so Stephen could take her away from her worries about Jonas. She knew that to worry about such matters was a sin and that Jonas would have a special place in heaven when he arrived, but the thought of not seeing him anymore, playing chess, listening to his wise advice—she just couldn’t imagine. Poor Lillian. And Sarah Jane and Lizzie. There would be a huge void in so many lives when Jonas passed.
“Anything with you is fine,” Stephen said after the doctors passed by them. Linda could feel her cheeks blush and wondered if Stephen could read her mind, if he knew how much she longed for him to propose. She’d be eighteen in August, on the seventeenth. That wouldn’t leave much time to plan a wedding for November or December of this year. Weddings were always scheduled after the fall harvest. Besides, her parents would argue that she was too young to get married, even though Mamm and Daed were married at seventeen.
“There’s Barbie.” Stephen pointed to the white minivan, then turned back to Linda, arched one brow, and eased into a smile. “Wanna go to the old oak tree?”
Linda knew what that meant. The old oak tree was a place where couples went to be alone, a huge oak in the middle of a field off of Leaman Road, with arched branches that formed a globe around those who ventured beneath the protective limbs. She felt her face reddening even more, and she nodded.
“We’ll get Barbie to just take us to her bed and breakfast, and we can walk to the old oak from there.” Stephen stood up, offered Linda a hand, and she rose from the bench along with him, relieved their Englisch friend wouldn’t know their destination.
Mary Ellen paced the kitchen. She’d sent Matthew and Luke over to Samuel and Lillian’s house with two shoofly pies she’d baked that morning, along with a big container of high fiber balls. She knew how much her brother liked the fiber balls filled with peanut butter, honey, raisins, chocolate chips, and coconut. Truth was, she needed to keep busy to keep her mind occupied.
Abe’s conversation that morning with Josephine was brief, but they agreed that Linda’s birth mother would visit tomorrow morning at ten o’clock. That meant that Mary Ellen and Abe would have to tell Linda the truth this evening, and Mary Ellen’s stomach was rolling with anxiety. It was only fair to discuss the matter with Linda first, and privately, so sending Matthew and Luke to Samuel’s house worked out perfectly since Linda was due home any minute to help with supper preparation. Mary Ellen dreaded the conversation they would be having with Linda, but waiting could worsen the situation if Linda found out the news some other way. What if Josephine decided not to wait and went to Linda directly? She jumped when the screen door slammed.
“It’s just me, Mary Ellen.” Abe hung his hat on the rack near the door, then ran a hand through his hair. “It’s gonna be all right.” He walked to the refrigerator and poured himself a glass of meadow tea, took a few gulps, and then took a seat at the kitchen table.
Mary Ellen brushed flour from her black apron and resumed her pacing.
“Sit down, Mary Ellen. Rest. I know you’re nervous, but we will have to trust the Lord to guide us to say the right things.”
“There is no right way to tell our daughter that we’ve lied to her for her entire life.” Mary Ellen bit down on her lower lip, then eased onto the bench across from Abe. “I’ve always been close to Linda, and I’m afraid that when she finds out this news, that— that we will lose th
at.”
“We didn’t lie, Mary Ellen.” Abe raised his shoulders, then dropped them in frustration. “It just didn’t come up.”
Mary Ellen slammed a hand on the table, something she would normally never do. “Abe! We didn’t tell our daughter that she is adopted. Don’t you think that should have come up at some point?” She regretted the tone she took with her husband, and she could see the anxiety in his expression, the fear in his eyes. But her own worries were overwhelming her as she wiped sweat from her brow. A knot was building in her throat, and the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of Linda when she arrived. Mary Ellen wanted to calmly tell Linda that it didn’t matter one tiny bit who gave birth to her, that she loved Linda as if she’d carried her in her own womb, that she was her daughter, no matter what. And she’d prayed all night that Linda would somehow understand.
“Mary Ellen, where is your faith? It’s God’s will that things are working out this way. You know that, no?”
To question God’s will is a sin, but Mary Ellen had never questioned His will more than at this moment. “Things better work out, Abe.” She sat up a little straighter, raised her chin. “We will just explain this to her, and then things will resume the way they were.”
“I hope you’re right.” Abe’s tone was doubtful, and doubt was not what she needed from her husband right now. She always relied on Abe’s strength, and she needed him to stay strong for her, for them.
Mary Ellen stood from the table, twisted her apron strings, and paced some more, apprehension rippling through her body like a tidal wave that threatened to destroy her. Instead of focusing on her own failure to tell Linda the truth, she wanted to lash out at someone, and she knew Abe wasn’t any more at fault than she was.
“I just don’t know why she would want to ruin all these lives like this, that Josephine woman.” She shook her head, then stopped pacing and turned to Abe. “I reckon she’s not a gut Christian woman, or she wouldn’t be doing this.”