by Beth Wiseman
They watched Linda move the horse toward the barn, then they sat down on the couch in the den for their usual reading time. Mary Ellen looked up from her Bible when Linda walked in a few minutes later. Abe had his head in a book that had a man on a motorcycle on the cover.
“How is Jonas?” Mary Ellen marked her place with her finger.
Linda fell into one of the rockers and crossed her legs. “He looked bad when I got there, Mamm. I thought he was going to heaven any second. The worst I’ve ever seen him.” Linda shook her head, and then her face brightened. “But then Onkel Noah showed up and said that Jonas’s medications were making him sick, and he said he’ll start feeling better now that they know to take him off some of his pills.”
“What did I tell you?” Abe looked above his gold-rimmed reading glasses at Mary Ellen.
“Ya, Jonas always seems to overcome and surprise everyone, but Linda . . .” Mary Ellen paused. “You do know that Jonas is still on a downward spiral. He’s eaten up with the cancer. It is just a matter of time.”
Linda smiled. “Miracles happen sometimes.”
Mary Ellen was proud of her daughter’s faith, and she silently reprimanded herself for questioning the choices she’d feared Linda might make. “Ya, they do.” She smiled back at her beautiful girl, even though Mary Ellen didn’t think God granted the type of miracle Linda was searching for. Jonas had beaten the odds for a long time, and Mary Ellen feared his time was near.
“Mamm? Daed ?”
Mary Ellen waited for Linda to speak, but she tucked her chin the way she did so often. “Ya?” she finally asked when Linda looked up at her. “What is it?”
Linda avoided eye contact. “Josie wants me to spend the night at her house Tuesday night. Tomorrow is wash day, and I think if I work late tomorrow, I can get some of Tuesday’s chores done. Do you think that would be all right? Her husband is going out of town for two weeks.” Linda pulled her eyes away from Mary Ellen’s. “Actually, he asked me to stay with her for two weeks, but—”
“Two weeks!” Mary Ellen slammed the Bible shut. “That’s impossible. How could she even ask you such a thing?”
“She didn’t ask me, her husband did. But Mamm, I told her I couldn’t, of course.”
Linda’s eyes started to fill with tears, and Mary Ellen instantly regretted her reaction. Once again, she hadn’t trusted her daughter’s judgment.
“I think one overnight visit would be fine.” Abe said and glanced at Mary Ellen before turning to Linda. “As long as you can get your chores done.” He looked back at Mary Ellen. “Don’t you think, Mary Ellen?”
“Ya, I reckon so.” She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, Linda. It’s just that the Englisch often don’t have an understanding about how busy our day is, and I just wasn’t expecting you to say two weeks.” The nerve of her husband to even ask Linda such a thing. Then Mary Ellen felt her heart sink into the pit of her stomach. The woman is sick. Of course he doesn’t want to leave her alone. I am a mean, selfish woman. Forgive me, dear Lord. “Does Josephine have any kin here in town?”
“No, she doesn’t.” Linda scowled, a confused expression on her face. “And her husband doesn’t seem to want to leave her alone.” She glanced at her father. “But you’ve left Mamm for days when you’ve had to go out of town. Maybe it’s different since Mamm has us with her.” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Mary Ellen silently prayed. Somehow she needed to try to make up for doubting Linda, questioning the Lord’s will, for not telling Linda she was adopted, and mostly for the ugly thoughts she’d had about Josephine since she’d come into their lives—a woman with little time to live and who’d given birth to their beloved Linda.
Mary Ellen raised her chin and folded her hands in her lap. “It is your rumschpringe, and Josephine is your birth mother. Maybe you should go and spend the two weeks with her.”
Abe’s mouth dropped open, and Mary Ellen held her breath as she waited for Linda to answer. And, again, she prayed—that this wouldn’t backfire on her.
11
STEPHEN BROUGHT HIS FOOT SCOOTER TO A HALT AND pulled the note from the bridge, his pulse racing as he wondered whether or not Linda had found the note and responded. He uncoiled the paper and exhaled a long sigh of contentment as he read.
You are my sunshine, that wave of happiness that I carry with me when we are apart; like the love also in my heart.
He pulled his pen from within his front shirt pocket.
My dearest Linda, There is much to be discovered in an ocean. It can be shallow. It can be deep. Life it can give. Life it can take. Never to be taken for granted. Found all around us, making the world smaller. My love for you is like an ocean.
Stephen shook his head. If my buddies knew I wrote this stuff . . . But Linda loved his poems, and that’s all that mattered. He continued.
I love you. Will you marry me?
Always, Stephen
Every time he’d tried to ask Linda to marry him, he froze up with worry about things he needn’t be worrying about. Hopefully, she will think this is romantic and not dumb. He quickly stuffed the note back in between the wood slats, then scooted off as the clouds became shaded with orange and the sun settled on the horizon in front of him.
Linda could hardly believe she was going to go stay with Josie for two weeks. She’d never had a vacation, and even though Josie’s house was only a few minutes from home, this would certainly seem like a holiday. She pinned the last towel on the line, after getting up early to start the wash this sunny Monday morning.
She still didn’t understand why Mamm was allowing this. A tiny part of her was hurt that her mother suggested she go stay with Josie for two weeks. Had something changed for Mamm? Did she no longer feel like Linda’s mother? Linda didn’t ever want Mamm to feel that way, but she wouldn’t turn down the offer. Again, she thought about the luxuries in Josie’s house. Air-conditioning, for starters. And that bathtub. She smiled to herself.
“Almost done?”
Linda twisted her neck to see her mother approaching. “Ya. Last load.” She picked up the laundry basket to head back inside, but Mamm inched closer to her, then put her arms around Linda’s neck and pulled her close.
“Do you know how very much I love you?”
Linda eased away from her. “Mamm, I won’t go tomorrow if you don’t want me to.”
Her mother kept hold of Linda’s arms and gently ran her hands up and down. “No. I think you should go.”
Linda tucked her chin, but Mamm gently eased her face back up, then locked eyes with her. “I’m so sorry, mei maedel, for not telling you about your adoption.” She smiled, gazed into Linda’s eyes, and then spoke softly, with such tenderness that Linda considered not going. “Everyone always says how much you look like me, and I think we just really started to forget.”
“That’s what Jonas said.” Linda smiled back. “Are you sure that it’s okay with you if I go, Mamm? I don’t want this to hurt you.” She shrugged. “I probably won’t like it there.” Linda cringed inside as she told the tiny lie.
“Josephine gave you life. She gave you to us to love and raise. I think she is deserving of a chance to know what a lovely young woman you have grown into. But Linda . . .”
Linda waited. Mamm frowned a bit and just stared at her for a moment.
“There will be much temptation in Josie’s world. All the things that are forbidden to us. Televisions, radios, electricity, and everything modern that we don’t agree with. I know this will be like a vacation for you, away from all the hard work, but I will pray constantly that you remember the Ordnung and stay steady in your faith. I know it’s your rumpschpringe, and to worry is a sin. I’m going to work hard to keep worry and fear from my heart.” She paused. “Your daed and I love you very much.”
Linda threw her arms around her mother’s neck. “I love you too, Mamm. And you will always be my mother. Always.” She eased away. “And no worries. My life is here, wi
th all of you, and with Stephen. Please don’t worry.”
“Things are gut with Stephen?” Her mother’s eyes brightened.
“Ya. I love him very much.”
“I think he is much in lieb with you as well.” Mamm playfully arched her brows a couple of times. “Perhaps a proposal will be in order soon, no?”
Linda giggled. “I hope so!”
They started toward the house with Linda carrying the empty laundry basket. She wanted to assure her mother what she knew in her heart to be true. “I won’t be tempted, Mamm. I know things will be different at Josie’s house, but it’s only for a couple of weeks so I can get to know her better—as a new friend.”
“I know, dear. I trust you to make wise decisions.”
It was after dark when Stephen came calling Monday evening. They were just finishing up family devotion time when Linda heard a buggy pulling up.
Daed scowled from his seat on the couch. “A little late for that boy to be showing up here.”
“Linda will be busy the next couple of weeks, Abe. I’m sure they want to spend a little time together.” Mary Ellen winked in Linda’s direction.
“Don’t seem fair that Linda gets to go stay with that woman for two weeks.” Matthew shook his head. “I reckon we are supposed to take care of her chores while she’s gone on her little vacation?”
Daed closed the Bible and peered over his reading glasses. “Watch yourself, Matt.”
“I tried to do as much as I could before I leave tomorrow.” Linda stood up from the rocker so she could let Stephen in.
“Well, it ain’t enough to make up for two weeks,” Matthew grumbled as he walked out of the den.
Luke didn’t say anything, but Linda suspected by the scowl on his face that his thoughts matched Matthew’s. Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea.
“It’s late, Linda. Keep your visit short.” Daed set the Bible on the coffee table next to one of two lanterns that illuminated the den, then stood up. “I’m heading to bed. Outten all the lights when you come in.”
“Ya, Daed. Good night.” Linda picked up the flashlight by the door, opened the screen door to the den before Stephen had a chance to knock, and met him coming up the porch steps.
“I’m glad you came. I have something to tell you.” She latched onto his hand and pulled him down the steps toward the garden.
“I’m happy to see you too.” He chuckled as Linda pulled him toward the entrance to the garden surrounded by a white picket fence. She shined the light on the latch, flipped it open, and wound her way to a white bench on the far side of the garden and sat down. Stephen took a seat beside her.
“You are never gonna believe this.” She turned off the flashlight and blinked her eyes into focus in the dark until Stephen’s handsome face was illuminated by the full moon above them, a spark of mischief in his eyes. “I’m leaving tomorrow to go stay with Josie for two weeks.”
Stephen’s expression soured instantly. “What?”
“Josie’s husband is going out of town for two weeks. At first, I was only going to spend one night, but Mamm and Daed said I can go stay with her for two weeks, to get to know her.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?”
Stephen shrugged, and even in the darkness, she could see his mouth take on an unpleasant twist. “I don’t know. Seems odd.”
“It’s not odd.” Linda pulled her hand from his. “Why do you say that?”
“Why would you even want to stay with her for two weeks, in the Englisch world?”
“I told you. To get to know her.”
Stephen eyed her with a critical squint. “And your parents are allowing this?”
“Ya. They are.”
Linda didn’t want to squabble with Stephen about this or put a damper on his visit. “Did you get my note?” She broke into a wide open smile, hoping to lift his mood.
“Ya, I did. And I left you another one.”
“Ach, gut! I’ll go by and get it on the way to Josie’s tomorrow.” She reached for his hand again. “I really do love your poems, Stephen.”
“I think you’ll really like this one.” He leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. “I’ll be anxious to hear what you think.” Then he pulled away hastily. “Am I going to see you during these two weeks?”
“Of course. Josie isn’t going to keep me under lock and key. She’ll probably even drive me places, if need be.”
“Okay. Thursday, I get off work early. We could go to the creek and swim?”
Linda couldn’t believe it. Stephen never wanted to go swim at the river. “Sure. That’d be great. What time?”
“I’ll pick you up at four o’clock.” He leaned in and kissed her again, longer this time, as he cupped the nape of her neck. “I want to know what you think about the poem I left you.”
“I will love it, I’m sure.”
“I really hope so.”
Stephen kissed her again, and Linda was certain that everything in her life was going to turn out perfectly. Mamm was coming around about Josie, she and Stephen were growing closer, and Linda was about to embark on a two-week adventure filled with fancy bubble baths and air-conditioning.
Tuesday afternoon, Josie was anxious for Linda to arrive, and thankful to be having a headache-free day. She had meatloaf in the oven, and potatoes were peeled and ready for boiling. Robert had called her from the airport before his plane left for China, and she’d assured him that she would be fine while he was away.
“I shouldn’t be going,” he’d told her again. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”
Josie promised to call if there was a problem and told him he could catch the first plane back home, though there usually was nothing to do except take the Vicodin and steroids. Each episode just had to take its course. Josie reached down and rubbed the top of her right hand with her other hand. Still no feeling. It had been that way since yesterday morning, but she knew if she told Robert, he would cancel this important business trip.
She lit two candles in the living room and put on some soft music and hoped Linda would enjoy her overnight stay. Josie had her room all ready. She couldn’t remember a night this important in a very long time. She wanted everything to go perfectly and for Linda to like her, to know her, to have a tiny bit of Josie’s heritage to carry with her in life.
No tears today. Only happy thoughts. She recalled how her headache had gone away on Sunday after Linda prayed with her and how she’d followed up with her own prayer. It didn’t mean there was a God, but perhaps she could allow the possibility to give her a tiny bit of hope. She’d told Robert what had happened, but he’d firmly said that the medicine had just kicked in. He was adamant that God had nothing to do with anything. “I wish there were such a being, Josie,” he’d said. “I wish that more than anything on this earth, but you know I just don’t believe that. But, Josie, you need to believe what’s right for you. Don’t let my beliefs interfere.”
Josie found that interesting, since Robert had always given up a hundred arguments to any point she’d made about God early in their relationship. Eventually, she’d had to admit that Robert’s point of view made much more sense than hers. But with her own mortality hanging in the balance, she wished there was something to believe in. She needed hope. As she felt the knot forming in her throat, she shook her head. “No, not today,” she said aloud.
A loud knock interrupted her thoughts, and she hurried to the door and pulled it open.
“Wow. That’s a lot of luggage for one night.” She smiled at Linda who was standing on the doorstep with two fairly large suitcases. Mary Ellen was turning the buggy around, and Josie waved, but Mary Ellen didn’t see her.
Linda awkwardly cleared her throat. “Actually, Mamm and Daed said I can stay for the whole two weeks.” Linda tucked her chin. “I probably should have asked you first.”
“Oh my gosh! No! Are you kidding? Get in here, you!” Josie grabbed one of the suitcases and motioned Linda in. “I’m so ex
cited. This is going to be great.”
Linda’s face lit up, and she scooted in the door. “I smell meatloaf.”
“Yep! Just for you.” Josie thought she might burst. Two whole weeks with my daughter. Thank you, God! The thought came out of nowhere, but it seemed fitting to thank someone, anyone, for this wonderful luck. “I can’t wait to tell Robert when he calls that you are staying for the entire two weeks. We are going to have so much fun.” Linda followed her through the den and to the stairs. “Follow me upstairs, and I’ll show you your room.”P
Linda followed Josie up the stairs and down a long hallway, until they got to a door at the end on the right.
“This is your room. It’s right across from my room, in case you need anything.” Josie walked inside and set the suitcase she was carrying down before motioning for Linda to come in.
“This is the room I’ll be staying in?” Linda gasped as she set her other suitcase down. She brought both hands to her chest as she took in her living quarters for the next two weeks. “I’ve never seen such a bed.” She walked to the large bed in front of her, topped with a floral bedspread in shades of ivory and rose, and there were four large satin throw pillows resting against two pillows in rose-colored shams. It was too fancy to touch, and Linda couldn’t believe she would be sleeping here. She glanced up at the ivory sheer draped over four large posts on each corner of the bed. It peaked in the middle, forming an arch above the bed, like something a princess would sleep in.
Linda moved toward a piece of furniture in the corner. A hairbrush and hand mirror rested atop the off-white finish, along with a crystal vase filled with bright red roses, the kind Mr. Buckley sold at the flower shop in town, ones that were especially big. Ivory-colored walls were topped with a border consisting of three different shades of roses, and lacy curtains covered two windows. Next to the bed was a small end table with a white lamp. A pink alarm clock and a Bible were on the table next to a telephone.