by Beth Wiseman
“Lillian, I’ve been looking for you. I thought you were outside.” Sarah Jane hurried into the kitchen. “Hello, Josie. I’m sorry to interrupt.”
Josie remembered Jonas’s daughter from her visit to see Jonas. “No, that’s fine,” Josie said as she stood up.
“Mamm, what is it? You look frantic.” Lillian rose from the bench also.
“This!” Sarah Jane held up an envelope, much like the ones several family members and friends had received earlier.
“Your letter? What about it? I got one too.”
“Not like this, you didn’t.” Sarah Jane’s eyes widened as she grinned. “I already opened my personal letter from Pop. But this is a second letter addressed to you, me, and Lizzie. You’re never going to believe this.” She pushed the letter toward Lillian. “Read it. See for yourself!”
20
LILLIAN OPENED THE ENVELOPE HER MOTHER HANDED to her just as Lizzie walked into the kitchen and after Josie excused herself to go look for Mary Ellen.
“My Huggy Bear is just full of surprises.” Lizzie sat down in a chair at the far end of the table. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when Sarah Jane showed me the letter.”
“Leave it to Pop to do something like this without telling us.” Sarah Jane sat down on the wooden bench, propped her elbows on the table, and rested her chin on her hands. “What was he thinking?”
Lillian unfolded the white piece of paper and read.
Lizzie, Sarah Jane, and Lillian,
You three girls have probably given me more grief over the past few years than all the folks I’ve ever known—always hovering over me, trying to take care of me, and bossing me around.
Lillian covered her growing smile with her hand. She couldn’t help but laugh at her grandfather’s ways, even at the end.
But I love you girls with all my heart, and I hate that I won’t be around to take care of you all—especially you Lizzie. Lillian, you have Samuel; and Sarah Jane, I reckon you do all right on your own, but you two take care of my Lizzie.
Now, for the matter at hand. Lancaster County is growing more and more populated, with less farmland for future generations, which makes the land prices mighty high. I reckon by the time Lillian’s young girls are grown and married, their husbands will be forced to work only in the Englisch world, unable to tend to the land we love and make a gut living at it. We are getting further and further away from our Amish roots with each passing year, and it wonders me if generations to come will hold steadfast to our deep satisfaction to work the land in hopes of a plentiful harvest.
In the valley beneath Colorado’s Sangre de Cristo mountains, small Amish communities are gathering. I’ve purchased one thousand acres there, in a place called Canaan, Colorado. There are two farmhouses on the property, over two hundred years old and in need of much repair. I believe that more and more of our people will move west due to overcrowding and high land prices here. So, my girls . . . this is my way of safeguarding future generations.
Beautiful country there, and it’s available to you if you should want or need it. Kade Saunders has all the details.
Calm down, Sarah Jane. I can see your face as you read, wondering how I did this. There’s this thing called the Internet down at the local library. Puts you in touch with anyone, anywhere. I had to bend a rule on my way out.
In His Name, and loving you all, Pop—Grandpa—Huggy Bear
“Close your mouth, Lillian,” her mother teased in reference to Lillian’s jaw, which hung to the floor. “I had the same reaction.”
“Ya, I was shocked as well.” Lizzie shook her head.
“Why would Grandpa think that any of us would split the family up and leave? We all love it here.” Lillian cringed. “Does this mean Grandpa hasn’t even seen the property he bought?”
“Hello, ladies.” Kade walked into the room. He chuckled. “Leave it to Jonas to do something like this. I didn’t know about this until an attorney knocked on my door yesterday with this letter and deed to the property, with instructions from Jonas for me to deliver it all to you. And to answer your question— apparently Jonas has not seen his purchase. Amazing that he would buy property over the Internet, sight unseen, and not tell anyone.”
“Well, we’ll just sell it,” Lillian said. “We don’t need a thousand acres in Colorado. That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard of.”
“I agree.” Lizzie shook her head again. “Silly old Huggy Bear knows I could never make a trip like that.”
“Kade, would you be able to handle the details of selling the property for us?” Sarah Jane folded her hands in front of her. “We’d pay you, of course.”
“I would be glad to.” Kade rubbed his chin. “Although . . . I did some research last night, and never underestimate Jonas. He got a great deal on this property, in a beautiful location. Land in Lancaster County is almost six times as much as in Colorado. It’s not as crowded there, and the acreage Jonas purchased is in a very rural area. I know exactly where Canaan is, I’ve been there. It’s near Monte Vista. You might not want to make this decision so hastily.”
“What decision?” Samuel walked into the kitchen carting Elizabeth in his arms and with Anna by his side.
Lillian covered her face with her hands for a moment, then blew out a breath of frustration. “Can you believe that Grandpa bought a thousand acres in Colorado without telling anyone? Property with two farmhouses in a rural area. He left a letter for Mamm, Lizzie, and me. We just were just telling Kade to make the arrangements to sell the property.”
Samuel stroked his beard and didn’t say anything, and Lillian watched his brows narrow speculatively.
“Samuel? Doesn’t it shock you that Grandpa would do something like this?”
“Ya.” Samuel glanced back and forth between Lillian and her mother. “But I think we should go. Move to Colorado.”
Lillian thought she might fall off the bench. “What?” She sat up taller. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“Samuel, why would you say that?” Sarah Jane edged closer to him and extended her arms to take Elizabeth. “Come here, sweetie. Come see your mammi.” Then she narrowed her eyes at Samuel. “I love you, Samuel, but the thought of you taking my grandbabies makes me want to smack you.”
“I reckon we can talk about it later.” Samuel looped his thumbs under his suspenders. “Are you ready to go, Lillian?”
Lillian stood from the table. “I guess so, but I’ll tell you right now, Samuel Stoltzfus, we aren’t going anywhere, so there is nothing to talk about later.” Lillian eased Elizabeth out of her mother’s arms, kissed her mamm on the cheek, and said, “Let me know if you or Lizzie need anything.”
She said her good-byes to the others, then she and Samuel loaded the girls into the buggy. David would be leaving in his own courting buggy. She waited until they were heading home on Black Horse Road before she broached the subject of Colorado.
“Samuel, why would you say that about moving to Colorado?” She curled her mouth into a frown. “Our families are here. We could never do that.”
Her husband was quiet for a moment. “I guess you’re right.”
Lillian could see their farm up ahead, and she thought about all the work Samuel had done to the property and everything she’d done to make it a home for all of them. “There must have been some reason you said that, Samuel.” She cut her eyes in his direction.
Samuel shrugged. “Ach, I don’t know. It was just a thought.”
Lillian sat taller as they pulled onto the driveway. “I could never leave here.”
Samuel didn’t say anything.P
Josie felt drained by the time they returned from the funeral, and after helping Mary Ellen carry in casserole dishes she’d taken to the funeral, Josie sat down in one of the rockers in the den and pushed herself into motion.
Mary Ellen walked into the den and put her hands on her hips. “You look terrible.”
Josie lifted her brows. “Thanks.”
“You’ve done too much t
oday. Why don’t you go lie down before supper?”
“No. I’m fine. A little tired, but I’m just thankful that my headache went away.” She pointed to her hand. “And look. No bothersome jerking either.”
Mary Ellen pushed back a strand of hair that had fallen from beneath her prayer covering, then she wiped her hands on her apron. “I’m making a very simple supper, so I don’t need any help, if you’d like to rest. Besides, Linda should be home from her walk with Stephen soon.”
Josie kept rocking. “Your bishop didn’t have much to say to me today. I tried to talk to him.”
“Bishop Ebersol? Ya, that’s Stephen’s grandfather. He’s been the strictest bishop we’ve ever had.” Mary Ellen shook her head. “Too strict, if ya ask me.”
Josie thought for a moment. “He probably wouldn’t like me staying here, would he?”
“I doubt it. But it isn’t for long.”
Ouch. Mary Ellen had made the statement as if she were relieved of that fact. “Where are Abe and the boys?”
“In the far pasture. One of the cows is due any day, and they went to check on her.”
Josie nodded, then Mary Ellen turned to go into the kitchen. Josie followed her.
“Mary Ellen, why did you ask me to stay here when I get the distinct impression you’d rather me not be here?” Josie folded her arms across her chest and waited for Mary Ellen to answer. She appeared in no hurry as she opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a stick of butter. Josie continued to wait.
Finally, Mary Ellen turned to face her. “I’ve asked myself that a hundred times.” Josie’s heart sank, but then Mary Ellen smiled before she walked to the stove. “I have a sense that you are meant to be here, Josie. Not just because you are Linda’s birth mother either.”
Josie sat down on the bench while Mary Ellen pulled two pots down from a rack near the stove. “What kind of sense?”
“The kind that comes from God.” She turned her head around, and her eyes flashed a gentle warning. “But I do not want Linda to be tempted by your ways.” Then she turned back around and placed the pots atop the stove.
“That doesn’t make sense, Mary Ellen.” Josie scowled. “If you’re so worried about that, then why did you invite me here?”
“Honestly?”
“Yes, honestly. I’d like to know.” Josie paused. “You offered for Linda’s sake, I suppose. Or just out of pity.”
Mary Ellen turned around and twirled the wooden spoon in her hand as she spoke. “Because you are—ill. And because you don’t know Jesus and His Father. I think that’s tragic, and I thought perhaps you might learn from us. It’s normally not our way to minister to others about the Lord, but I have a strong feeling that you are the exception.”
“But how much could you teach me in only a day or two? Robert thinks he can catch a flight home from China any day now.” Josie raised her shoulders and let out an exasperated breath. “I wish . . .”
Mary Ellen stood waiting.
Josie tapped her finger to her chin. “I wish I knew what was going on with me. I’ve felt different lately. Especially today, at the funeral. All those people together at one time, praying.” She pulled her eyes from Mary Ellen’s and focused on the brown mat in front of the sink. “I’ve even been praying.” Then she shook her head. “I’m conflicted, I guess.”
“There is much power in prayer, Josephine.” Then Mary Ellen smiled. “A lot can be covered in a day or two.”
Josie returned the smile. “I’m all ears.”
If Mary Ellen could help her attain the hopefulness that she’d felt on brief occasions lately, Josie was willing to open her heart and her mind to the possibilities.P
The days stretched into more than a week, but Robert was due home midmorning the next day. She missed Robert terribly, but until the end she’d treasure her time in this house, with this family. She spent lots of time during the day with Linda, by her side doing laundry, mending, or housecleaning. She’d only had two really bad headaches, and neither had lasted very long. The new medication Dr. Phillips prescribed for the seizures seemed to be working since she hadn’t had one. Getting to know her daughter was all she wished for.
Late in the afternoons, Josie helped Mary Ellen with supper. Linda was glad that it gave her an opportunity to spend some extra time with Stephen. Each day she walked about a half mile to meet Stephen when he drove over the bridge in Ronks, and they would talk for about an hour before Stephen would bring her home.
In an ironic twist, Josie had never felt as alive as she had the past week, and something had changed between her and Mary Ellen as well. During the couple of hours that it took to prepare supper, Mary Ellen talked with Josie about the Bible and about the Ordnung, an unwritten code of conduct that most Amish know by heart. And they’d prayed. A lot. And with each prayer, Josie felt more hopeful about her circumstances. She’d begun to have dreams about heaven, and in her dreams it was the most beautiful place she could imagine.
As she felt possibilities springing forth around her, she fought a building resentment at Robert. Josie knew she was a grown woman perfectly capable of forming her own opinions, but she couldn’t help but wonder how differently her life might have been if she’d married a man who had a strong faith like Mary Ellen did. But each time the thought presented itself, she worked to push it aside. Robert was the best man she’d ever known.
Josie was chopping tomatoes while she sat at the kitchen table that evening, sweat dripping down her face, and thinking how good it felt to not wear any makeup. It had seemed pointless after about the second day, as she only sweated it off, and no one else around here wore any.
Since Abe and the boys had gone into town and Linda was with Stephen, Josie wanted to share with Mary Ellen something that had been on her mind before she left in the morning.
“I want to thank you, Mary Ellen. For everything.” Josie sliced the end off a tomato and began to chop it into tiny squares for the stew that night. “I know that my being here has been difficult for you from day one. But I just—just wanted to know her. That’s all.”
Mary Ellen stirred meat in a pot on top of the stove. She didn’t turn around. “You’re welcome.”
“I guess I really didn’t need to be here. I mean, I’ve had a couple of headaches, but no seizures, and overall I’ve felt pretty good.”
Mary Ellen turned around. “Ach, I feel quite sure you needed to be here. For several reasons, no?” She smiled, then turned to stirring again.
“I guess you’re right.”
Josie continued chopping the tomatoes, but her mind was a whirlwind of activity. What if she hadn’t stayed here, learned from Mary Ellen, opened herself up to a relationship with God? She’d even been fortunate enough to attend worship service with them all at Mary Ellen’s sister’s house. Rebecca and her husband, Aaron, hosted the Sunday service at their home. It was a long three hours, sitting on the wooden benches, but Josie felt honored to have been invited. Even though she didn’t understand most of the service spoken in High German, there was a sense of amazing fellowship. She still couldn’t say that she wasn’t afraid to die, but alongside her fears there was now hope, hope at an everlasting life.
“Do you mind if I keep seeing Linda in the next few months?” She piled the tomatoes on a plate to her left.
“Of course not.” Mary Ellen was adding potatoes that Josie had peeled earlier to the stew, but she didn’t turn around.
Josie stood up, picked up the plate, and took them to Mary Ellen. “Time for the tomatoes?” She held the plate over the pot.
Mary Ellen nodded, but turned her face away from Josie. But not enough that Josie couldn’t see the tears in her eyes.
“Mary Ellen? What is it?” Josie set the plate on the counter, latched onto Mary Ellen’s shoulders, and gently turned her until Josie could see her face. Mary Ellen swiped at her eyes and shook her head.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. You’re crying. What is it? What’s wrong?”
Mary Ellen covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Then she looked up at Josie with tear-filled eyes. “Josephine . . .” She hung her head for a moment before she lifted her chin and locked eyes with Josie. “I’ve committed a sin against you, against God. I reckon I never wanted you here. I never wanted you to search for Linda, I never wanted her to know you, and I didn’t want you to disrupt our lives.”
None of this surprised Josie, but she wondered why Mary Ellen was telling her this now, when they seemed to have come so far. She waited for her to go on, hoping there would be a but coming.
“But I’ve grown to care deeply for you, and I would have never wished this on—on you, never, Josephine. Do you hear me? I never wanted something like this to happen, and . . .” Mary Ellen slumped over, crying hard.
“Mary Ellen.” Josie spoke firmly, squeezed her arms gently, and nudged her to look up. “I know that. Do you hear me? I understand everything you are saying. I don’t think you’ve experienced an emotion yet that wouldn’t be human in this situation. You didn’t make me sick, Mary Ellen. And I did disrupt your life. And I never expected to care for you like . . .” A lump in Josie’s throat prevented her from going on. Instead, the women embraced, and Josie held on to Mary Ellen while her own tears spilled.
Mary Ellen eased away from Josie and gathered herself. “I know that God’s will is to be done, but I will miss you, and it saddens me to think—to think . . .”
“I will miss you too.” She dabbed at her eyes and smiled. “But if everything you are telling me is true, which I believe to be so, I’m going to a wonderful place, and we’ll see each other again in heaven.”
“Ya, ya.” Mary Ellen nodded as she sniffled.
A loud crash startled them both. They spun around to see a rooster slam through the screen in the door, ripping it in every direction as the winged animal hurtled toward them. Josie screamed.
Mary Ellen grabbed Josie’s hand and pulled her to the other side of the kitchen just as the rooster rounded the corner and headed into the den.