by Beth Wiseman
Fear twisted around Josie’s heart. Maybe things had worsened. She gazed at Robert, whose expression was filled with concern. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon.”
He walked up behind her and rubbed her shoulders. “Sorry, babe. I know this waiting is hard on you too.” Robert leaned down from behind her and kissed her on the cheek.
“I guess I’m used to it.”
Robert walked around Dr. Phillips’ desk and eyed all the plaques on the wall. “He is one of the best in his field.” He turned to face Josie. “And who knows, Josie. Who knows. Maybe it’s taking so long because they are trying to decide whether or not surgery will be possible.”
“Or maybe it’s taking so long because they are deciding how to tell me that my time is shorter than they think.” She knew she shouldn’t have voiced her thoughts, and as Robert turned around, his eyes glazed with despair, she said, “Sorry.”
Robert walked back to his chair and sat down. He stared straight ahead and didn’t say anything, resting his head in his hand which he’d propped on the arm of the chair.
Please, God, be with Robert when I’m gone. He is going to be so lost. Please help him find his way to You.
They waited another ten minutes before Dr. Phillips entered the office, accompanied by two other doctors.
This must be bad.
Robert, always the optimist, didn’t even wait for introductions. “Can you operate?”
“Hello, Josie . . . Robert.” Dr. Phillips didn’t answer Robert’s question, but instead extended his hand to Robert, then Josie. “This is Dr. Bissmeyer and Dr. Simpson. I’ve invited them to join us.”
Dr. Phillips eased back behind his desk and sat down. The two other doctors stayed standing by the door. After Dr. Phillips slid on his pair of dark-rimmed reading glasses, he pulled Josie’s MRI films from a large envelope, then hung them over a lighted panel to his left for Josie and Robert to see.
As Dr. Phillips scratched his forehead, the other two doctors moved closer so they could also see the large X-rays.
“Sorry to keep you both waiting.” Dr. Phillips leaned across his desk. “I wanted to confer with Dr. Bissmeyer and Dr. Simpson to make sure I wasn’t missing something, but we’re all in agreement about these results. You may want to do another test, but we’re confident that these are accurate.”
“Just tell us, Dr. Phillips,” Robert said as he shook his head. “Has the situation changed? Is there any chance you can operate?”
Josie’s heart was beating out of her chest, and her stomach churned with anxiety as she watched Dr. Phillips point to the middle of the film.
“See this?”
Josie and Robert leaned forward as the two doctors hovered above them. She focused on the spot above Dr. Phillips’ fingertip.
“There won’t be an operation, Josie.” Dr. Phillips took a deep breath.
22
LINDA OPENED THE SCREEN DOOR AND GREETED HER Uncle Samuel and Aunt Lillian, then David and the girls when they arrived for her birthday party. After giving each of them a hug on the front porch, she could see her Uncle Noah and his family pulling up the driveway in their car, followed by another buggy that looked like it was carrying Sarah Jane and Lizzie.
“I can’t believe you’re eighteen today,” Lillian said. “All grown up.”
Linda smiled. “Ya, eighteen today.” She loved when the entire family was together. Aunt Rebecca and her family showed up next, followed by Uncle Ivan and Aunt Katie Ann.
“Snacks are in the kitchen, and there’s also some chips on the coffee table.” Linda’s mother had been busy that morning, readying everything for the party, and as she scurried around the kitchen making sure everything was perfect, Linda wondered when Josie would get here. She’d only seen Josie twice in the past two weeks, and Josie had been unusually quiet. However, during their last visit, Josie had assured Linda she would be here. Please God, I hope Josie is having a good day.
“Matt, go help your brother with the ice cream,” her father instructed as he walked into the kitchen. Then Abe gave Linda a big hug. “I reckon you’ll always be mei boppli,” he whispered in her ear.
“I know, Daed.”
Only one thing kept the day from being perfect. Stephen had to work, but he’d promised to leave her something special at the bridge later.
Linda eyed the large cake in the center of the kitchen table— yellow cake with chocolate icing and eighteen candles ready for her to blow out. This would be a big day for her and Josie. Where is she?
Robert was coming with Josie, and it would be the family’s first time to meet him. No doubt, everyone would like him. Linda had been fond of him from the very beginning, particularly the way he treated Josie. That made her thoughts roll back to the conversation she’d overheard between Aunt Katie Ann and Uncle Ivan, and she wondered if everything was all right.
She walked onto the porch and saw her brother working up a sweat. “You have to keep turning the handle, Matt.” She thought about how good the homemade vanilla ice cream would taste with the cake later.
“Ya, I know.” Matt pushed back his straw hat and wiped beads of sweat from his brow. “Maybe you could bring me a glass of tea, no?”
“Sure.” Linda walked back into the house, and by the time she got back with Matt’s tea, she saw Josie’s SUV pulling into the driveway. She headed down the porch steps and waited for her to get out of the car.
“Sorry I’m late.” Josie was holding the clock from the mantel. “I thought you might like to have this as a birthday present. Sorry I didn’t get it wrapped. I couldn’t find a box it would fit in.”
Linda accepted the clock, cradled it on her hip, and then gave Josie a hug. “Danki, Josie.” She stepped back after a moment and held the clock at arm’s length to see it better. “I love this.” Then she looked back at Josie. “Where’s Robert?”
Josie sighed, wove her hands together in front of her, and looked down. “He couldn’t come.” When she raised her head, Linda could see the disappointment in her eyes. “But he said to wish you a very happy birthday.” Josie smiled. “I’m here, though, and I’ve waited for this day for a very long time.” She threw an arm around Linda’s shoulder. “And I bet your mother has made all sorts of good food.”
“Ach, ya, she has.” They walked toward the house together, and Linda silently asked God to bless this day for Josie above all else.
Josie wound her way through Linda’s family, who in many ways felt like the only family she had. Some of them she knew better than others, but Linda’s home was a place where she felt comfortable. When the entire family got together, their fellowship seemed to spill over in abundance and touch anyone who was blessed enough to be present. More than anything, she wished Robert could be here to feel this. Maybe then he wouldn’t be so confused and sad, when in reality, there was so much to be thankful for.
She recalled Dr. Phillips’ conversation with her and Robert— and Robert’s reaction. He’d broken into tears right there in the office.
Josie stood tall as everyone gathered in the kitchen to watch Linda blow out her candles. She refused to let his absence sadden this day that she’d waited so long for—for eighteen years—and today there would be no shadows across her heart. This is a perfect day.
Linda blew out her candles, and as celebrated in other homes outside of this peaceful community, everyone sang “Happy Birthday.” Josie’s words choked in her throat as her eyes filled with tears of joy. She felt a hand grab tightly to hers, and she looked to her left to see Mary Ellen singing at the top of her lungs. Mary Ellen squeezed her hand, then turned to her and smiled. Josie let the tears flow.
After the cake and ice cream, Josie watched Linda open her gifts. Her cousin David had made her a small wooden box to keep special trinkets in, and he’d etched her name on the front. Mary Ellen gave Linda a lovely black sweater that she’d knitted herself, and all her aunts had made her a special quilt for her bed. Then everyone gasped when Abe and the boys walked in with a cedar chest.
“We normally don’t do this much for birthdays,” Mary Ellen whispered to Josie as the boys placed the cedar chest in front of Linda, “but it’s her eighteenth.”
Linda cupped her mouth with her hands. “Ach, Daed! It’s beautiful.”
“We helped too,” Luke said, breathing hard.
“Danki, Luke and Matthew, and Mamm too!” She gave each of them a hug. “Danki, all of you, for everything. What a wonderful birthday.”
Josie knew she was about to steal the show, but she’d waited over two weeks to share her news with those she loved, and it had taken everything she had to hold back until now.
“I—I have some news,” she said, barely in a whisper. She looked directly at Linda.
Linda’s glowing expression left her beautiful face instantly.
“Oh, no.”
Josie walked closer to Linda, pushed back a strand of hair that had fallen across her cheek, and gazed into her daughter’s eyes. Then she looked at Mary Ellen, and glanced around at all the others, before she turned back to Linda.
A tear rolled down her cheek and she clenched her jaw to stunt the sob in her throat.
She opened her mouth to try to speak, but everyone turned their attention toward the porch when they heard footsteps. Mary Ellen walked to the door in the kitchen and opened it. When Josie saw her husband walk into the den, she ran into his arms.
“Thank you for coming. Oh, Robert. Thank you.” She embraced him tightly. “I need you right now,” she whispered in his ear.
“Oh, Josie. I’m sorry for not being here. But the more I thought about it, I knew this is where I needed to be. Maybe—maybe I’ll get some sort of understanding about all this.”
Josie gently eased out of the hug and turned to face everyone. “I’d like you all to meet my husband, Robert.”
She moved around the room to make introductions but noticed Linda impatiently tapping her bare foot on the wooden floor. “Josie, please. Tell us your news.”
Robert reached for Josie’s hand and held it tightly in his, and Josie gazed into Linda’s eyes again. “Thank you for letting me share this special day with all of you. This is the happiest day of my life . . .” She turned to Robert, hoping to borrow some of his strength. He nodded for her to go on as tears poured down Josie’s face. Linda was already moving toward her, dread on her face.
“What is it? Tell us, Josie.”
Josie smiled, and as Linda reached her, she took her free hand and reached for Linda’s. “The tumor is gone.”
Linda’s eyes narrowed. “What does this mean?”
“It means . . .” Josie drew in a breath and blew it out slowly. “I am going to be around for many more of your birthday celebrations.” Josie glanced at Mary Ellen who had a hand clamped over her mouth and eyes filled with tears. “If that’s okay with your mother and everyone else,” Josie added as Mary Ellen moved toward her.
Linda’s feet were rooted to the floor, her expression one of disbelief, but Mary Ellen cupped Josie’s cheeks with her hands, and whispered, “You are a Daughter of the Promise. Miracles happen to those who believe.”
“Yes,” Josie whispered as she fell into Mary Ellen’s arms. “Thank you. Thank you, Mary Ellen.”
The room grew quiet, as if everyone was trying to absorb the magnitude of what was happening, but Josie heard sniffling among the women.
“The cancer is gone,” Robert said, his voice cracking. He put a hand over his eyes, shielding his own emotions.
Josie left Mary Ellen’s embrace and went to Robert. “It’s all right,” she whispered as she held him.
“I want to believe, Josie,” he whispered, his words caught in his throat. “I really do.”
Josie knew what it felt like when you began a spiritual cleansing, when you truly opened your heart to God, and she could see that happening now with Robert as he wept in front of all of them.
Josie recalled Dr. Phillip’s explanation of her prognosis two weeks ago in his office.
“There won’t be any operation, Josie,” he’d said. “There is nothing to operate on.”
Dr. Phillips had gone on to explain that doctors from all over the state had been brought in to look at Josie’s MRI, and not one of them had a medical or scientific reason why the tumor would have just vanished.
“That’s medically impossible,” Robert had argued. “Redo the test or something, because you guys have messed up.”
But Dr. Phillips, along with Drs. Bissmeyer and Simpson, just shook their heads. “No,” Dr. Phillips said. “We did not mess up. The tumor is gone, and we are sure of it.”
“But how—how in the world . . . I don’t understand.”
Josie hadn’t spoken when she’d heard the results. Within a few minutes, Robert’s and the doctors’ words had faded away, and all she heard was, Live well, My child.
“Sometimes, there is no medical explanation as to why these things happen,” Dr. Phillips had said. “It’s a medical mystery.”
But it was no mystery to Josie, and all the way home from the doctor’s office, she’d cried and laughed, unable to stop doing either. “It’s a miracle, Robert, and it’s the power of prayer,” she’d told him. “It’s real, Robert. It’s so real. My faith in my heart, the way I feel, it’s the most incredible feeling in the world.”
Robert had refused to open his mind to the possibility, even though she could tell that his heart kept slipping in that direction. Two weeks later, he remained confused—not just about the results, which of course he said he treasured, but about how he’d lived his life thus far if there was truly a God overseeing things. His befuddled thoughts dragged him further and further down, and only yesterday, he’d said he didn’t think he could attend Linda’s birthday party.
“What if—what if I’ve been wrong my entire life? Would I even be worthy to be in a room with all of them?”
Josie had tried to talk to him, to explain that it was never too late to reach out to God and His son, Jesus, but Robert just shook his head.
Now, as he stood before her, Josie knew that life as they knew it had changed. Perhaps a larger miracle than her own healing was her husband’s change of heart.
When Linda moved toward her, Mary Ellen pulled back to make room for their daughter.
“God is gut,” Linda said. “So very, very gut.” And she wrapped her arms around Josie.
Lillian looked around her and knew that this was not the right time for her and Samuel to share their news, but Samuel disagreed.
“Now is as gut a time as any, I reckon.”
“Samuel, this is Linda’s day, and Josie’s. I don’t think we should share today. It wouldn’t be right.” Maybe if they didn’t share today, it wouldn’t come to pass, and they’d never have to tell anyone that it was ever a consideration. “Besides, what if we change our minds?”
“Lillian, everything is going to be fine,” Samuel said, trying to assure her once again. The commotion in the kitchen had settled and folks had broken off into smaller groups. “I promise you.” He paused with a sigh. “You know we need to do this.”
David walked by them in the den, his eyes blazing in his father’s direction.
“Your son is definitely not happy with this news.” Lillian held the screen door open and motioned for Samuel to step onto the porch. She waited until the door shut behind him to ask, “Are you sure about this, Samuel?”
“Lillian, it makes the most sense.” He lifted her chin and kissed her. “I love you. Please don’t look so sad.”
Just then, Linda rushed out of the screen door and ran down the porch steps.
“Hey! Where ya going?” Lillian called after her.
Linda edged her way around the volleyball game her cousins were playing. “I have to go do something. I’ll be back soon, though!”
“Should we wait until she gets back?” Samuel pushed back the rim of his hat as he watched Linda kick the scooter into motion.
“No, Anna and Elizabeth are tired. I think we should go ahead and ta
lk to everyone else so we can get them home.” Lillian let out a deep sigh as she sat down in the rocker on the porch. Samuel sat down in the other chair, and a tense silence formed a gap between them. Samuel wasn’t only her husband, but her best friend, so she resolved herself to support his decision and to be happy about it. “I love you.”
He turned toward her. “I love you too, Lillian.”
She smiled. “Then, let’s do it.”
Samuel nodded.
Linda was disappointed that she wouldn’t be able to share her news about Josie with Stephen until the next day, when she saw him at worship service, but she couldn’t wait to see what he might have left for her on the bridge. She pushed her scooter forward and felt a bottomless sense of peace and contentment.
Thank you, God. Thank you, God. Thank you, God.
She recalled a conversation she’d had with Jonas. It seemed like such a long time ago.
“Mamm and Daed will always be mei parents,” she’d told him. “That will never change.
”
“Of course not. And I reckon they’d lay themselves on the train track for you and both your brothers,” Jonas had said. “But here’s where it gets tricky.”He squinted in her direction and then pointed a finger at her. “I reckon Josephine would lie down on a train track for ya, too, give her life willingly for you. That puts you in a unique position. All these people that love you. Do you have room in your heart for all of them?”
Linda stared upward. “I miss you, Jonas. And I have enough love in my heart for all of them. I love Josie, and I thank you, God, for leaving her here for now.” She scuffed her foot along the road even faster until the bridge was in sight.
Breathless upon arrival, she inched toward the special spot, then clenched her teeth. “Today’s my birthday. And no note!” It had been a more than perfect day up until this moment. She hadn’t expected a present, just one of his poems, maybe an extra long one. Something. She reminded herself how blessed she was, but anger and hurt still bubbled to the surface.